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deliriousgeek · 5 years ago

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She’s the Alpha (Owen Grady x Reader) .7

Masterlist:

Okay! Finally up to date! I’m so excited for chapter 8. Also, if you were expecting Owen and Yn meeting right away, my apologies. Yes this is a Owen x Yn fanfic buttt I really want to set up her position in the story. Don’t worry tho! Owen will be here very soon. So stay tuned! Enjoy <3

p.s. lemme know if you wanna be tagged :)

Chapter 7

My Apologies Ma’am

She couldn't believe her eyes. The monorail zoomed into the main part of the park. The ride started from the docs and passed all the way through a lush green forest, from there it went over a deep blue lake.

A lake?

(Y/n) had opted for a window seat. This way she could take in the gorgeous view of the tropical landscape. To say the island was beautiful would to be an understatement, it was absolutely breathtaking. (Y/n) almost entirely forgot the reason she was here.

You're not here to vacation, you're here to review.

Reprimanding herself (Y/n) pulled out her journal and began writing her discoveries. The park had a promising future. The main theme of the park, dinosaurs, had yet to be seen and visitors would still be enthralled with the landscape that served as a teasing preview of what was yet to come.

A light bustle of conversation filled the monorail once the conductor had announced over the PA system they would be entering the park. On Y/n's lap sat her journal, a gift from her father. (Y/n) tried to jot down the feelings and sights she was absorbing, but was slowly tuning out her thoughts as the PA system spoke.

Claire stood up at the head of the monorail and announced as the monorail went through the refurbished entrance gates. "Ladies and gentlemen welcome to, Jurassic World."

The gates opened and the monorail pushed through. A collective gasp of intrigue was heard through the cabin as the passengers got their first glimpse into the park. The monorail passed over a gorgeous deep blue lake that was said to hold one of the main attractions of the park, the mosasaurus. (Y/n) wrote down in her journal that having the monorail built just outside the mosasaurus exhibit, while being an aesthetically pleasing architect choice, may not have been the most passenger safety option. She also observed that overlooking the mosasaurus lagoon was the hotel and directly under the hotel was a beach. This beach, which was connected to the mosasaurus lagoon, was separated by two fences. Although the fences looked highly durable and built to keep the gigantic reptile from chomping on park goers, it didn't seem like the most viable plan. (Y/n) was sure to mention this to Mr. Masrani once they met.

Nit picking at first sight was not in (Y/n)'s personality, however, after hearing stories of the old unsuccessful park and their death count, she was not willing to over look any details.

The paleontologist side of her began to kick in and she was instantly intrigued by the creature lurking in the depths. How old was it? Was there only one? Did it hunt for itself? How deep was the pool?

Y/n would ask all these questions once she met with Mr. Masrani himself, which would be very soon.

The monorail had come to a slow halt and the passengers were directed off the vehicle into the hotel lobby. Claire was at the head of group announcing the schedule for the day.

"If you'll follow me," She smiled. "Your passes and wrist bands which give you access to the whole park will be in your room. Your rooms will be located on the 25th floor. My assistant Zora will be passing out room keys and numbers." A woman stepped out from behind one of the employee doors with cards in her hand, which she began to pass out accordingly.

Claire spoke again. "Once you receive your keys please feel free to head up to your room for a quick freshen up or roam the park if you wish. The meeting with Mr. Masrani will be held in the Apatosaurus Room in one hour. If you have any questions, I'm all ears." Her sentence ended with a business smile.

Y/n waited her turn for Zora to pass her the room key. After receiving the key and doing a once over of the group, y/n decided it was best to stay away for now and head up to her room.

Upon entering the luxurious hotel room Y/n was greeted with a wonderful view. She was greeted with the nicest scent of a freshly made hotel room which instantly soothed her body from the Isla Nublar heat. Once stepping in the room and shutting the door the AC began working wonders on cooling her heated skin. On top the queen sized bed that sat in the middle of the room laid a tray containing all the necessities for visiting the park. Her luggage was sitting in the corner the room near the entrance onto the veranda. A set of wide, brown-stained, rolling shutter doors blocked off her view from the rest of the park. Noticing the obstruction in her view she promptly set her bag on the bed, slipped off her shoes, and slid the doors open to the balcony.

With a short exhale of breath Y/n was astounded by the grandeur of the island. She could nearly see the entirety of the park. In her direct view the grand, green mountains served as a back drop for everything below. The Innovation Center stood like a beacon in the middle of everything. Leading to the Center was main street, full of shops, restaurants, bars, and things of that nature. To the sides of the street were enclosures, but for what she couldn't see. Observing the enclosures from a far wouldn't help her in determining an opinion on them. Y/n mentally noted that she would have to see those enclosures for herself. They seemed much too small, and Y/n hoped she was very wrong.

Letting her eyes roam over the deep, jungle green of the mountain terrain, Y/n saw a grey, out of place, building. It was nearly the color of rocks and probably could not be seen from the ground level. It was quite a distance away from the park and there were no monorail tracks leading to it. Y/n assumed it had something to do with the operations of the park and wondered if she could have a peak inside. A little digging into the park's business side wouldn't hurt. After all, that's what she was asked to do.

After letting the Costa Rican sun settle into her bones once more Y/n returned to her room, closing the door behind her. She checked her phone for the time and quickly donned herself with one of the passes on the bed and placed everything else in a purse she brought with her. Y/n unloaded only the necessities from her backpack into the purse. Heading to the bathroom of the suite Y/n did a once over in the mirror. Deciding the the humidity of the island was doing her hair no good she took it out of it's current state and redid it into a much more frizz-free style. Before heading out the door she briefly glanced in the mirror then, deeming her appearance business worthy she walked out the door in search of the conference room.

Y/n took the elevator down the lobby in which she asked a receptionist where the Apatosaurus Room was. After being given directions Y/n thanked the woman before heading a lounging area of the lobby. Checking the time again Y/n noted that there wasn't enough time to spare before the meeting to the explore the park. Although, there was time to jot down her first impressions of the it. Sitting down in the lounge area Y/n took her journal out from her purse and began to write.

She didn't write about the interior of the hotel or that there were not mints left on her pillow, but rather on the fact that when looking at the overall view of the park she was not impressed with the size of the enclosures she saw. Concern over powered the beauty of the park, though she did appreciate the island's well landscaped state it was not the reason she came. Concluding her writing with a note that said:

Opinion on enclosures will be revised after further inspection of park.

Y/n closed her journal and stood while placing it back in her purse. While Y/n's vision was occupied by securing her purse, her direction was veered into the path of the man walking opposite of her. With a general sense of direction, lack of attention to his surroundings, and briskly paced walk, the man did not notice the woman slightly shifting into his path either. His focus was entirely absorbed in the files that he held and getting to his meeting on time. Before either of the two could register the collision, Y/n stumbling backwards until she was on the floor. This caused the man's head to snap up then back down to the woman on the floor. Other passers by looked as well. The man's mouth moved quicker than his brain and before he knew it he was offering her a hand and an apology.

He helped her off the floor. "My apologies ma'am. I didn't see you there." When his eyes finally met hers he starred with an almost stunned gaze. Maybe it was the impact from their collision or the sincere gleam in her eyes, either way he nearly forgot how to breathe.

"Oh no sir, the fault is mine. I wasn’t looking where I was going." After dusting herself off and actually securing her purse she looked up and offered him a smile. "Sorry for the inconvenience. I'm in a rush." Noticing his lingering stare she cleared her throat, suddenly feeling like a display looked at through a glass.

Recovering from being stunned, he offered her a weak smile of his own. "I was too-” Realizing he was still late he closed the file, “-am too." He nodded his head. "Sorry again for knocking into you, ma’am. "

She nodded and replied swallowing thickly, her throat suddenly parched, "Right, I gotta go too. So sorry for bumping into you, bye."

"Goodbye ma'am."

Then each walked their separate ways.

Pushing aside the uncomfortable interruption Y/n headed to the meeting. Approaching the halls that led to the conference rooms she began to prepare questions for Mr. Masrani in her head. If there was a time for questions she would be sure to ask them. Seeing a sign that read "Apatosaurus Room: 2:30 Meeting" next to a closed door Y/n made her way to the door, and walked in.

Who's the man? 👀

Lol, see ya next time

@littlegangrel @thebadassbitchqueen

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plush-anon · 4 years ago

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SCOOB! Stream of Consciousness Review

Here we are folks - I finally review the originally cinematic, fully CGI animated Scooby Doo Movie (one year later... I did not queue this as I thought I had last June - damn you, Tumblr. I’m not changing much here, so enjoy as it was intended).

Created by a team who have professed their affection for this mystery team and their meddling dog too, will this be a lush experience fit to satisfy any Hanna-Barbera fan? Or will it be a hot garbage cash-grab, littered with Easter eggs and references that do nothing to hide a meatless mess of outdated memes and shallow character development?

LET’S

FIND

OUT

Below this cut is my entire stream-of-consciousness review on the SCOOB! Movie, as experienced. SPOILER warning here - I’m digging into everything, no plot points spared.

Here we go~

And we start off with a decent shot of the California coastline (looks like the kids backstory is front and center), some 90s hip-hop synthwave song about California, and OH SWEET JESUS THESE MODELS LOOK TERRIBLE

Ahem

Yeah, this is a problem right off the bat - some of these people in the opening shots look remarkably unfinished - think three shades above “Rapsittie Kids: Believe in Santa” level - and the animation on them is less than stellar.

On the plus side, we do see a fantastic variety of ages, sizes, and races - there’s a brief blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Sikh man on roller skates playing a sitar - but when the designs look rushed in the opening shots, it’s not a fantastic sign. At least they’re brief, but it’s hard to see if this is a lower level of the film’s style due to rushed animation, or if they didn’t care to polish it up as much, given that it’s maybe a 30 second scene.

Still, kudos to actually going for variety in the crowd shots. Minus kudos to making most of the clothes look like Play-doh draped over a Barbie doll. I’m not even kidding on that one, the clothes are super basic and barely have any sign of texture or creasing or even fabric/cut variety. Almost reminds me of the first Toy Story movie’s design for human clothes, yeesh.

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Ahh, our first introduction to Scooby Doo at a Greek gyro food stand. That’s foreshadowing right there folks! 😉

Sadly, he is really weirdly animated in his run sequence - he looks out of proportion as he’s running on his hind legs, and the human animation has really bad consistency - some background characters are really janky, while others actually move really nicely. The characters we immediately focus on seem to be pretty smooth at least, but that’s still very strange.

On a side note: Ruby and Spears Sub Sandwich shop. Nice 😁

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They are reaaaally pushing the super over-the-top dramatic music for a bike cop chasing a dog that stole gyro meat

Why

It’s not even interesting chase music, just generic super-hyped-up chase music

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And now we finally get to see a young Shaggy, standing next to a tie-dye food stand called Casey’s Confections that… sells meat. Hm. Guess WB hasn’t learned after all these years 🙄

Unfortunately, I’m not a huge fan of the kid they got to play him, Iain Armitage. He’s not a bad voice actor by any means, but he just doesn’t sound right for Shaggy. I know that as a kid he’d be much less likely to have a cracking/squeaky voice, but he sounds… it’s hard to pin down a word, but - precocious? Darling? Either way it doesn’t quite match, especially given how Shaggy sounds when he grows up via Will Forte. Just… no connection there.

I tie it down to the particular vocal twangs and nuances the gang usually has. I’ll touch base on that note later I think, once we hit the teenage versions of the gang, but for now I’m just not feeling it.

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On the one hand, I empathize deeply with Shaggy and his Spotify’s unsettling ability to pinpoint his insecurities with song choices, and also deeply enjoy that one small gesture where his fingers kind of shake & tighten around his phone while he takes a deep breath to calm himself- it’s a very nice, subtle sign of frustration

On the other hand we just passed two guys with no nipples and an unerring likeness to a Ken doll in those Barbie movies, so I’m distracted by that now

(between this and Fred’s no-nipples in Happy Halloween SD!, is WB just terrified of giving men nipples in animated movies now? what gives?)

Also distracted by the thrifty lesbians who bought those two shirts that come together to make a heart in the middle, on the store’s 2 for 1 day

happy pride y’all!

---

Finally got context for the two sand piles!

Very, very sad context, but still! Progress!

Basically Shaggy’s practicing talking to people in order to learn how to make friends, since he either has no idea how, or has never had a friend before. So he’s trying to learn the right way to do it since his own attempts have failed

And him talking to these sand piles not only counts as practice, but he’s using them so that his mom thinks he’s spending time with friends like he told her

Ow :)

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So ketchup leather is apparently a thing that exists

I’m learning so much today!

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Given that Shaggy has no friends at this stage, but he’s still called Shaggy, I’m kind of wondering if that was a mean nickname that everyone called him, but he was just grateful for the interaction/pretended it was from friends, so he kept it 🤔

Actually, take it back, his mother is calling him that. Family nickname, maybe…?

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Shaggy has Blue Falcon (classic) and Dynomutt funko pops

noice

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Oof, you can reaaaaally hear the age in Frank Welker’s Scooby voice. Can we get Scott Innes back? He sounds almost identical to his performance 20+ years ago :/

Also talking waaaay too much - even SDMI Scooby wasn’t this wordy, and he NEVER shut the hell up

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Okay wait

So Shaggy met Scooby on Halloween day - then met the rest of the gang hours later?

Huh. And here I was thinking it would have been a few weeks minimum

Although I have to say there is a lot here to work with, if it paces out how I think it does

Shaggy meets Scooby. Bare hours later, he buys him a collar (instead of his mom? weird) and asks him to stay with him, despite not really knowing him. Then, only a couple hours after that, he finally makes some friends… but only when Scooby is with him.

Given that it looks like the gang are all around the same age in the same neighborhood, there’s a solid chance that they’ve taken classes together at the same school. If none of them met/knew/made friends with Shaggy then, but only did so AFTER Scooby came into the picture, that might lead to the argument we know about later when they split up; afterwards, S&SD go to the bowling alley, then get abducted by the Blue Falcon, plot continues. This could make it seem like they were only friends with him at the start because he had a dog.

And the brief scene earlier with the music device shows that he tries to tamp down on his anger/doesn’t really address it - could lead to something more later

hmmmm 🤔

---

Wait what

These two kid bullies just came out of nowhere, stole Shaggy’s candy… and then started on about how Halloween is only a marketing ploy to get companies to rot your teeth and go to the dentist more, before throwing the bag through a window and telling the two that ‘your blood sugar will thank us for it!’

Are - are these the brainwashed children of a Karen? Is that what I’m seeing?

I mean we could have had a Red Herring cameo, but apparently informing children about candy conspiracy theories is more important :/

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Daphne: It’s Halloween - no one should go home without their candy

FD&V: *none of them have candy/candy bags*

???????

(Wouldn’t it make more sense if the bullies had stolen their candy too? What the hey man)

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I do find it neat that we actually get to SEE the wires the ‘ghost’ uses to fly in full effect - that’s actually pretty cool, and not really something we get to see up close in older Scooby shows. Most of those just have the bad guy randomly flying about, and the wires revealed after the fact

---

Actually, given how FD&V react to this ghost almost immediately… have they already been solving mysteries? It seems like it, given how smoothly they move together to capture him

That’s kind of odd in kids. Like, even in PNSD they weren’t perfectly in-sync on stuff

This then leads to the gang solving mysteries together… in spite of the fact that all Shag and Scoob did was hide in the wardrobe that had the stolen goods, while FD&V captured the dude

Granted, they do ask Shag and Scoob if they wanna join in and say yes, but that seems like an strange jump after what could have been a one-time deal

I just find that a touch odd - esp when they could have had a five minute scene or so of them wandering around the house, touching on some old SDWAY traits. Heck, show that they’re SCARED in some way, and don’t immediately move to tackle what looks like a murderous spirit at age 8-9 or so. Even just showing the kids learning about each other would be enough, but what do I know. I’ve only watched Scooby Doo everything since I was 4 🙄

---

Ahhhh, and now for the updated rendition of the theme song

Where they’re all still kids doing everything the teenage gang did in the theme song

It doesn’t look as good as the OG, though - kind of like a computer game simulating the SDWAY intro using the PNSD kids in CGI. It’s honestly strange to see, and a little jarring - especially when we then transition to the older teenage gang right in the middle

Like, we don’t get to see you guys age through the song as you’re chased by/catch different monsters? That could have been pretty neat honestly - shows how long they’ve been doing this

Tho I gotta admit, seeing the Spooky Space Kook with his OG sound effects is pretty awesome, brief as it waoH MY GOD FRED WHY ARE YOU HAVING A ROMANTIC BEACHSIDE DATE WITH THE MYSTERY MACHINE

THAT WASN’T IN THE ORIGINAL AND NO ONE ELSE GETS A CHARACTER INSIGHT SHOT LIKE THIS

WHY

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Huh, looks like Ruby & Spears gave up their subway sandwich shop for a coffee shop

That apparently the gang goes to in order to eat malt shop food

okay?

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Ah, and here’s where we finally look at the voice acting of the older teenage gang. Buckle up folks, cause I gotta lot to say

We’ll start with Fred, bc honestly? I think Efron actually fits him pretty dang well. He’s got a different cadence from Welker, true, but as far as an update goes? I think he’s a solid fit. Very much in line with the all-American kid that Fred’s kind of been slated as for the past 50 years or so, but updated more for the modern perspective. I call it solid (and possibly a replacement for whenever Welker decides to retire).

Next? Oof. Velma is, IMHO, the weakest casting. Velma, no matter her voice actress, has ALWAYS had some form of nasal twang to her voice - that’s part of what makes her Velma to begin with, and helps her stand out. Nicole Jaffe, Pat Stevens, BJ Ward, Christina Lange (PNSD), Mindy Cohn, Kate Micucci, Linda Cardellini -heck, even Haley Kiyoko from ‘The Mystery Begins’ and Sarah Gilman from the ‘Daphne and Velma’ movie understood this! They all had that nasal twang to their voice - differing between actresses, of course, but still recognizable as Velma. Gina Rodriguez though? Honestly, it just sounds like she’s acting it straight. Not bad acting at all, by any means - she just doesn’t sound like Velma, and doesn’t seem to be trying to. (Honestly wondering if she was only hired bc she voices Carmen Sandiego in the reboot cartoon for the lolz fun reference! type connection)

Daphne is sort of similar in voices, but hers is more of a pitch her voice hits - Heather North, Mary Kay Bergman, and Grey Delisle Griffin all have that pitch they hit naturally when speaking. Amanda Seyfried? Does not - in fact, her voice is actually deeper than I was expecting - but it’s not quite as big a difference as it is for Velma. It fits her character type okay, and she does well with it overall.

And finally, the most controversial one: Will Forte’s Shaggy.

I’ll go ahead and say this: he’s not Scott Menville levels of bad Shaggy voice acting. If I were to place him on a list, I’d probably put him around Billy West level - kind of sounds similar via vocal tics (voice cracking, likes and zoinks, etc), but his own voice just overtakes the impression he’s seeking to hit. When I hear him speak, I don’t really hear Shaggy; I just hear Will Forte trying to do an impression of Shaggy.

In comparison: when Scott Innes took over for Shaggy, it was like Casey Kasem’s, just a touch more of a twang to his voice and just a dash over-the-top - but it was still Shaggy, and you didn’t doubt that for a minute.

Same thing for Lillard, but maybe moreso - he was pretty much the most perfect casting for a live-action Shaggy there could be at the time Scooby Doo (2002) was made. Him taking over for Kasem from there made perfect sense: he was honestly the best cast Mystery Inc member of the live-actions, and a lot more recognizable to the general public as Shaggy than Scott Innes was. He could also do different emotions with Shaggy that not a lot of the other voice actors had the chance to do (mainly bc script), so for future stuff they have that flexibility, if they wanted to play around a little more.

With any luck Forte will get better over the course of the movie, but honestly the casting could have been so much better with Matt Lillard and Kate Micucci.

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Shaggy Rogers, evading taxes since 2020

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siMON COWELL??!?

WHAT THE

WHY?!?!?

ALSO HIS CHARACTER DESIGN STYLE IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF THE GANG WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON?!!?

IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SD CELEBRITY CAMEO

IF YOU WERE GOING TO DO A CAMEO FROM AMERICAN IDOL WHY NOT RYAN SEACREST

HE TOOK OVER FOR CASEY KASEM ON THE AMERICAN TOP 40 WOULDN’T THAT MAKE MORE SENSE

aaauuuggghhh

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Also he’s there as a potential investor in Mystery Inc as a detective agency

A music industry professional… is interested in funding a detective agency.

Like… did he miss out on Josie & the Pussycats? Is that why he’s here?

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Wait a minute

Oh noooooo

I know why he’s here

I remember this spoiler

Shit

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And once again, here is your reminder to tell Simon Cowell a great big fcuk you

Only this time it’s for making Shaggy and Scooby feel worthless and saying that friendship is worthless and cannot be counted on for anything worthwhile

Simon Cowell: Professional Dickhead

---

Welp, at least this gives a solid reason why they leave: Simon Cowell was being a professional dickhead, and the gang didn’t really say anything against him or interrupt him on his whole ‘Shag and Scoob are worthless spiel’

Or, well... Daphne stepped up some, but more to say ‘they’re our friends!’ rather than ‘that’s entirely wrong, our friends aren’t worthless!’ Better than nothing, but yeesh

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Ahhh, Takamoto Bowling - the emptiest bowling alley in the evenings this side of Coolsville

(no seriously, the past few times my dad has taken my sister and me bowling pre-pandemic, no matter the day or time? it’s ALWAYS got more than 6 lanes of people there, what the heck)

Also Scooby wears three bowling shoes, which honestly makes more sense than I thought it would - that pup goes spinning and sliding every which way on a normal floor, bowling alley floors would be like ten times worse

----

here’s a nice little detail - when Scooby sees one of the bowling pins peek out with red eyes and he yells that to Shaggy, Shaggy actually squints and walks closer to see if it actually does have eyes

aww

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Huh, okay

Panicked Will Forte Shaggy actually sounds more like a good Shaggy voice than normal talking Will Forte Shaggy

I can dig it

---

Still kind of underwhelmed by the Shag and Scoob disguise scene - wouldn’t it make more sense to have them like, dish up hot sauce or something on a plate that nonsensically makes the robots overheat before they discover their ruse?

Idk, maybe they’re off their game after Simon ‘Dickhead’ Cowell

---

Carlton Way - must be named after Fred’s only other voice actor, Carlton Stevens of PNSD

Also Hanna’s Barber Shop is next to Barbera’s Pizza! Cute.

And… Pitstop’s Pink Perfume ad. Wait, who is that? *assorted googling noises*

...ahhh, Penelope Pitstop from Wacky Races! Who, according to Wikipedia, was revealed to have Greek ancestry in the 2016 Wacky Raceland comic book, having been born on the island of Aegina

Now I’m wondering if we’ll see her in this too, given Cerberus...

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Honestly kind of fascinating to see the gang with a police radio in their van

Also fascinating to see that only main characters are allowed clothing variety and texture/creases/folds

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it’s actually really sweet to see Fred, upon hearing that Shag and Scoob are likely in danger, immediately makes a 90 degree turn in traffic

---

It looks like they changes Dee Dee’s name a hair - now it’s Dee Dee Skyes, instead of Sykes

It works well for the Falcon aesthetic, so that’s cool

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Shaggy, after Dee Dee tells them that Dastardly’s trying to kill them: Scoob, someone thinks we’re important enough to *mimes slitting throat*!

Scooby: It’s nice to be wanted.

Excellent! This movie has captured Shag and Scoob’s blasé attitude towards death! Now we’re onto a solid Scooby film :D

Dee Dee: Hmm, I hear that!

And they even have a friend to share in their attitude! Splendid!

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Christ, I can work photoshop better than Blue Falcon can, and I don’t even know how to use photoshop

I will give major kudos on his costume tho - it maintains the important elements of the OG Falcon, while still updating it with more bird-related aesthetic, like the feathered appearance of parts of his costume, the split cape resembling the tail feathers, and the talon gauntlets & boots. neat!

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Yooo, Dynomutt, I thought secret identities were still a thing with Superheroes, what the hey are you doing giving it out to a duo you literally just picked up behind a bowling alley

Ngl, I’m kinda hoping we get some scenes where Dynomutt messes up a little like in the OG cartoon - this one feels really serious, which is kind of strange

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Okay now I want to see older!Blue Falcon come in for a cameo

Mainly bc I’m getting the feeling that this one is a major dumbass, and not in the fun and friendly himbo kind of way 😑

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Wait, THAT’S our first look at Dastardly? That’s a bit abrupt, isn’t it?

Also his ship must be pumping thousands of gallons of toxins into the air, that smoke cloud looks hideous. Forget logging into his mom’s Netflix account like the trailer said, EPA should probably be hunting him for sport with a laser cannon, jesus fcuking christ

---

Honestly kinda want a plane you can pilot like a motorbike now

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Welp, it looks like we have a fun, mustache-twirly, puns-aplenty, loves-to-be-bad kind of villain on our hands folks! This is gonna be FUN AS HECK

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Eurgh, this scene - the super-stiff-but-stretched-out ‘yeeurgh’ faces really squick me for some reason, but I can’t really pinpoint why

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I have decided I highly dislike the Brian Blue Falcon, or Brian Falcon for short, and would like to see Dastardly tie him to some railroad tracks

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North St for Heather North, and… wait… Funland Carnival? Like where Charlie the Robot hung out?

Apparently that’s in Romania.

A very yellow-greenfilter Romania at that.

Like, I’ve seen blue washes on movies trying to portray evening in the middle of the day so they don’t actually have to shoot at night, but yellow? That’s normally used for deserts and hot days and uhhh

NOT for evenings in a country with landscape like THIS

odd

(I mean I guess they got the mountains and trees right, but still. Yellow filters make a place look arid, which Romania is Not, to my knowledge)

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Dude, Brian Falcon is such an idiot even Shaggy and Scooby, commonly portrayed as the idiots of Mystery Inc, look at him like he’s a moron.

(They are Not Amused.)

Also Brian Falcon is an absolute coward. That’s new. Even Shaggy and Scooby face off against the robots directly in a Whack-a-Mole game and destroy some. Dude, get your head in the fcuking game already, yikes

Woah, Laff-a-Lympics, Wacky Races, Hex Girls, The Banana Splits, Penelope Pitstop, Space Stars, Posse Impossible, and Hong Kong Phooey easter eggs in one shot

Geezus

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Another nice moment: when cornered by Dastardly, Shaggy moves to stand in front of Scooby to protect him

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Dastardly (to Shaggy): I don’t care about YOU. You’re not REMOTELY important!

*proceeds to shoot Shaggy THROUGH the ceiling and up into the highest car on a Ferris Wheel where Brian Falcon is hiding like a man baby*

Welp, so much for a fun and zany villain. Time for this Plush Anon to kill a bitch *cocks shotgun*

I will, too - kudos to the animators for hurting me so badly with the face Shaggy made right before being shot because

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Ehehehhehe, yess, the infamous ‘Dick’ scene

Dastardly: No, I’m a DICK. With a D!

You sure are, you sack of dildos with a D!

This scene had to be put in on purpose - if this had been released in theaters, I just know the adults would be dying in laughter 🤣🤣🤣

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Shaggy: Brian, do something!

Brian Falcon: Like what?

Shaggy: Like, drop some F-Bombs!

love it 😂

---

Is it like movie law now, that if there’s an action scene with a Ferris Wheel in the background, it has to fall off and roll down a mild incline like a wheel? Because it kinda feels like it

---

Aha! Dastardly said his drats! Perfection.

Now to shoot him through a ceiling to make them matter even more :D

---

OOF.

Well that hurt.

Poor Shaggy - basically internalizing now that he’s the worthless one and weak link of the group now that Scooby is considered more important

---

Holy fcuk I’m crying

Shaggy just broke Brian Falcon down to his deepest insecurities without even trying while talking to him

He even used the words ‘imposter syndrome’

Shaggy hon, you’re the best

----

Oh hey, Fred, Daphne, and Velma! It’s been a while since we saw you guys again, what are you doing?

Arguing about the metric system and realizing that Shaggy and Scooby reminding them to eat periodically helped them keep a clearer head...

And using the word ‘hangry’.

But then looking through a ridiculously cute photo album of the two and a video the gang took together (the video is honestly really heckin’ cute, 10000/10 would recommend)...

And then getting pulled over so Fred can have a brief ‘oo-la-la’ montage about the pretty blonde cop who honest-to-gods looks like a Barbie doll.

Where Daphne then describes how ugly Dastardly is...

Right before the petite blonde cop who’s maybe like 5’7” at best rips off her outfit to reveal it was Dick Dastardly this entire time, all 7ish feet of him.

And then kidnaps them all along with the Mystery Machine while he makes terribly fun dorky puns

…

...SO BACK TO SCOOBY AND SHAGGY...

---

...where Scooby is making kissy faces in the mirror while wearing his Blue Falcon uniform

Hrm, that’s not really better is it

We actually see Shaggy reading (OG) Blue Falcon’s autobiography, and making hurt but snide comments about Scooby’s ego

Which are actually pretty clever tbh

-----

Cooooooongratulations, Fred Jones! You are now officially a full-on himbo!

----

Alas, poor Daphne. While your knowledge of the tropes of your show might have served you well in other places, this was to be a theatrical release once upon a time, and so such knowledge falls to ruin.

----

You know, I just realized - we’re never really told HOW the Cerberus skulls work, both in how each skull can be used to find the others, and, presumably, in releasing Cerberus itself. We’re given a brief glance-over of Scooby’s ancestry (and I mean REALLY damn brief), and a quick mention that these are supposed to be Cerberus’ skulls being stolen, but… that’s it. Nothing else is given.

Now, I read the first few chapters of my SCOOB! Junior Novelization, and it actually went into further detail about the skulls themselves and what Dastardly’s initial plan was early in the book - open the gates of Hades and obtain the seas of treasure therein. It acted as an introduction both to the climatic endgame we’ll face at the end of the movie, and to Dastardly, who uses the same disguise trick he used as the Barbie cop when he stole the first one in South America.

(They actually DID plan to use this as Dastardly’s intro, but cut this… 3 minute scene for time. Yeah. See below video for the details - honestly think they should have kept it in. Saves time later and definitely more show than tell, compared to what we got)

youtube

I feel like that would be a better introduction to him than the one we got - hell, it would have fit in quite neatly after the revamped theme song montage. They could have the scene with Dastardly finding/stealing the first skull as an introduction (as above), then have him answer a call or something. Exposit openly “You found the key! Excellent! Now where are we going next?”

THEN cut to the diner/coffee shop scene we had earlier. We still wouldn’t know exactly what the key was/entailed off the bat, and they could still have FD&V find out on their own - maybe by hacking the little robot instead? IDK.

---

The final skull is on Messick Mountain.

Cute.

On a side note, I do love how Dastardly’s ship interior looks - very dieselpunk

---

Velma just hacked into Dynomutt… somehow, and I finally get my wacky Dynomutt shenanigans! Hazoo!

...sadly that was really dang brief. Realistic, yes, but still too brief.

---

Eyyyy, we finally get the whys of why Scooby is needed! … really dang fast.

Also Fred says Jinkies.

----

Hey, Muttley popped up! In a shrine… to his demise… that we find out he reached when Dastardly pushed him forward into the Underworld to steal the treasure of Alexander the Great in a portal he rigged up… only for both of them to find out it was a one-way deal unless they used the key to be able to come back. The key, of course, being Scooby Doo, descendent of Peritas, Alexander’s dog.

Eh, workable enough-ish. It’s interesting to see that Dastardly, despite how much he disliked Muttley in the older cartoons, still cares about him to a certain extent.

---

Pfff, Fred’s a poor man’s Hemsworth XD

---

Sweet, we’re in ‘Journey to the Center of the Earth’ now!

---

O W W W

You guys really had to do the ‘me or them’ thing with Shaggy and Scooby… and tHeN hAvE sCoObY cHoOsE tHe FaLcONs?!? Just because they said he was important as “the key” and gave him a spandex costume.

Over at least 7 years of friendship.

Booooooooooooo

---

actually no I’m Not Done Yet

This whole scene is a mess.

Shaggy’s turn was really dang fast… but I can still see how he gets to it. It’s at least a day between Scooby being chosen as a pseudo-sidekick and the island arrival, during which Shaggy’s talk with the main adult (who has taken up the mantle of his favorite superhero) essentially confirms his feelings of worthlessness and leaves him to stew for HOURS on end (on top of another adult, Dastardly, who also calls him “not even REMOTELY important” at the carnival before freaKING SHOOTING HIM THROUGH THE CEILING NO I AM NOT OVER THIS). Tie that to a teenager who also believes his only friends have come to think he’s meaningless baggage, and suddenly his entire support system is vanishing underneath him to one of his former idols without ANY sign of hesitation from Scooby’s part (with the exception of the collar scene, but I don’t think that that means the same to Scooby, given how quickly he bounces back)

Scooby tho… hrm. It could be that he’s clinging to the good feelings Brian Falcon inspires in him (by choosing him as the next possible Dynomutt), as a way to overpower how FD&V hurt him, while also building on how he came to love the duo because SHAGGY loved them so much. But the movie doesn’t frame that up… at all?? At least compared to Shaggy.

Idk, maybe I’m missing something, but this scene is a mess through and through

Boooooo

----

Scooby: *tries to leap into Brian Falcon’s arms like he did with Shaggy but falls*

Brian: Uh, what are you doing?

Scooby: Rhaggy never missed.

Damn straight he didn’t

---

oh hey, it’s Captain Caveman

I was wondering when we’d see him.

---

AAAUUGGHH

It’s that blink-and-you’ll-miss-it scene from the trailers I sobbed over - the one with Shaggy holding Scooby’s collar

Fun fact it actuALLY FADES INTO THE FLASHBACK

THAT WAS NOT A TRAILER THING THAT’S ACTUALLY HERE IN THE MOVIE

---

Oh No

Fred is here, alone, after that whole scene with Dastardly saying he had a use for Fred

...while that’s likely Dastardly in a Fred suit (that sounds creepy just typing it), I’m still going to enjoy this brief but absolutely lovely hug Shaggy and Fred share...

(seriously tho, look at this, it’s a genuinely close, squish-your-lungs-out kind of hug, I love it)

...as well as Shaggy, who's still hurt from his fight with Scooby, immediately gearing up to go help him after hearing Dastardly’s trying to kidnap him.

----

Brian Falcon and Scooby Doo now have to take on Captain Caveman in gladiatorial combat in order to claim the final skull of Cerberus

I love cartoons sometimes

----

Captain Caveman just put the smackdown on Brian Falcon and punched him into the ground up to his CHEST

Then smacked him so far into a wall he cracked the stone around him!

GodDAMN is this satisfying 😆 altho minor question here: how did he gain the rank of Captain? Do cavepeople have a naval force?

---

He just whirled Scooby around his head, then spun him so fast his costume broke off

I may have to look into some Captain Caveman stuff now, that’s fantastic

---

Shaggy and Fred - sorry, “Fred” - just smashed through to the colosseum in the Mystery Machine

And Dynomutt just fired missiles at Captain Caveman to smash him into an Amigara-shaped hole of himself

I REALLY love cartoons sometimes

---

Oh No

Just as Shaggy starts trying to apologize, “Fred” kicks him in the back, rips off his disguise to normal Dastardly self, and kidnaps Scooby atop the skull, before revealing he destroyed the Falcon Fury jet

New tagline for this movie? Shaggy Rogers and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day

...at least the rest of the gang is back together?

---

Brian Falcon: *Immediately tries to blame Shaggy for inadvertently leading Dastardly to them, while storming up to get in his face*

Fred: *upon realizing BrianF is blaming Shaggy for everything, without a SINGLE moment’s hesitation, immediately leaps in to defend Shaggy and physically push back Brian Falcon several feet*

We stan one Himbo, theydies and gentlethem

Also?

Velma (sneering): What kind of hero blames other people for his problems? *Walks over to comfort Shaggy with Daphne, while Shaggy looks dumbfounded they’re defending him bc he also blames himself for Scooby’s kidnapping*

This. This right here, is the kind of Mystery gang content I wanna see.

I don’t care how the rest of this movie goes now, this scene right here is ambrosia to the Scooby fan’s soul, and therefore makes this entire movie worth it, outdated memes, lingo, and all

---

Cackling rn - Fred and Brian Falcon are in a point-off a la the Spiderman meme 😂

or, more specifically, the post-credits sequence of Spiderverse where they’re arguing about who started pointing first

It gets better when Velma and Daphne try to pull each other off of their pushing fight, and Velma grumbles “Toxic Masculinity” I’m crying

---

WOAH

More super Shaggy stuff here (apart from being flung through a building roof without a scratch) - he pushes apart both groups effortless, and even knocks them back several feet

If we estimate Dynomutt as… we’ll say 450 since he’s made of metal, Falcon at 220, Dee Dee at 160, that’s about 830 lbs on one side

Then Fred, Daphne and Velma on the other (hmm, 180, 150, 130?) would be around 460 lbs

Dang boi

---

Oh honey no, it’s not your fault

But dang if he didn’t get a good message from it, one I’ve done my best to transcribe here:

“I was afraid that... things were gonna change. And they did change. But like, that’s okay! People can grow. But it doesn’t mean that we’re growing apart. Because the one thing that will never change is that Scooby Doo is my best friend! Ten years ago, a little boy made a promise to a stray puppy that he’d never leave him no matter what. And I’m gonna keep that promise! Now it’s time we stopped that mustachioed menace from opening the gates to the {underworld} and letting loose that fearsome {Cerberus}. So what do you say we get out {of here}, and go get my always-snacking, never-lacking, often-napping dog back? Who’s with me?”

Honestly not a bad message for kids. Things will change, people will change, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop being friends. (Obvs real life exceptions apply, but that’s not a bad note honestly)

...shame that that conclusion comes right the FUCK outta nowhere

How, exactly, did he come to this conclusion? WHEN? What inspired him to realize this, what was the impetus for this specific line of thought, that it’s okay for friends to change?

It kinda feels like this should have been either the happy ending speech given after they’ve saved the world, or one at the start of the third act, like if Shaggy arrives when Scooby thinks he’s chased him away and ruined everything, and Shaggy & the gang still save him. And Scooby asks him why he did that - when Scooby tried to change himself to fit what Brian Falcon wanted, instead of treasuring the friend he still had, or maybe why Shaggy reacted the way he did. THEN Shaggy gives the speech we hear, a la:

“I yelled at you because… like, because I was scared. I was scared that... things were gonna change. And they did change. But like, that’s okay! People can grow. But it doesn’t mean that we’re growing apart. Because the one thing that will never change is that YOU’RE my best friend! Ten years ago, a little boy made a promise to a stray puppy that he’d never leave him no matter what. And I mean to keep it!”

At least that would make a little more sense to me. Again, not a bad speech, but a little rearranging would help to really hit home.

---

Okay, now we’re back with Dastardly in Greece, and suddenly the background people all look MILES better than the ones at the start of the movie. Did they just forget to polish the first two minutes of film, what the heck?

Also, Dastardly’s ship is literally the entire length of the Greek ruins presented o_O

---

HOLY SHIT THE SKULLS TURNED BACK TIME AND MADE THE RUINS INTO AN ENTIRELY RESTORED PALACE WITH THE GATES OF THE UNDERWORLD BEFORE THEM

They’re also colored a very atmospheric neon arrangement that’s surprisingly quite tasteful ^.^

----

The Mystery Machine can fly now!!! eeheeheeeheeheeheeheeee

----

And so we finally see Cerberus, a massive, towering figure with sharp teeth and pffffffhahahhahaa why are all three heads wearing Spartan helmets

To its credit, they’re also wearing basic body armor, wrist guards, tail spikes, etc, but the helmets are killing me 🤣 who thought to stick that onto the dog? Did Hades forget to remove the armor after winning the Gods’ Pet Costume Contest, or was it like that horse in the ATV costume - it felt safer so it didn’t let anyone take it off?

Or was this a precaution against Herakles coming back? These are questions - hilarious, hilarious questions 😁

---

Awww. Scooby immediately runs to the battered Mystery Machine to rip the doors open for the gang!

And… wait. THIS is where that wonderful hug was in the trailers? I thought that was at the end of the movie when everyone was safe!

This now does not bode well. But we’ll worry about that later. Time to enjoy this gorgeous wonderful hug of the entire gang, and Shag and Scoob apologizing to each other for fighting 🥰

Yet another scene to make the rest of this movie worth the rest

(halfway wanna frame this shit and put it on the wall, it’s that lovely)

----

Fantastic! Dastardly is now in Hell, where I’ve been wishing him this entire movie! :D

And dang… he actually apologizes to what he believes is a dead Muttley. Who is, naturally, snickering at all of this. The two bicker predictably, but eventually hug and make up, too happy to see each other to resort to old habits. Honestly a nice little scene, all-in-all.

---

Back to the gang and they’re doing the glowy eyes in the dark bit! I actually haven’t seen that in a Scooby movie forever, it’s neat.

Also Fred is now going full Liam Neeson over his van, war paint and all, using the tire cover as a shield and… holy shit.

HOLY SHIT

THE ASCOT IS BAAAnnnnnd it’s gone. Boy, that was… short.

Fred just ran full-tilt at Cerberus, screaming like a mad man, before getting flicked away by its big toe, and losing the ascot and makeshift shield. It punched so hard his facepaint came off

It was fun while it lasted y’all

---

Heyyy, Shag and Scoob just came up with the plan, and it’s actually solid! I’m so proud, and so is the rest of the gang! Also willingly going to distract Cerberus while the rest figure out how to close the gate and stuff Cerberus back in

I love my boys 😊

---

Annnnd there goes Brian Falcon like the coward he is

To… call his dad? And admit he isn’t a hero.

Only for Dynomutt to point out Shaggy and Scooby are taking him on and are terrified.

This then cuts to Shaggy and Scooby running around in a chariot and gladiator wear, running back and forth a la the door gag from Cerberus to the OG SDWAY theme

I think I love this movie

(although they’re hinting at Dynomutt being resentful of OG Blue Falcon essentially abandoning him to his incompetent son, and I really wish it had been touched upon more

that’s actually rather heartbreaking, when you stop to think about it, and there’s a lot that could be done with an additional two minutes of screentime)

---

Huh, another good message for kids: it’s okay to fail and be scared, so long as you keep going and try to do what’s right.

Two good messages for kids in one movie. Not too shabby, on the whole.

---

Brian Falcon just flew in and punched the three-headed dog, then jumped into its mouth as it tried to eat Scooby, resisted the MASSIVE JAW STRENGTH, and got them out of there safe and sound

Finally, something heroic!

I was wondering where Dastardly and Muttley got off to - apparently they’re off to take a money bath.

Aight

---

Shag and Scoob have now convinced the Rotten Robots to turn into bowling balls to knock Cerberus off their feet a la the classic marbles pratfall back into the underworld

That is a sentence I just wrote

----

OH FCUK NO

ABSOLUTELY NOT NO

YOU ARE TELLING US THAT AFTER ALL OF THIS - ALL OF THIS - ONE OF THEM HAS TO STAY IN THE UNDERWORLD TO LOCK THE GATE

THAT OCTOBER LEAKER WAS RIGHT WHAT THE HELL

LITERALLY SO

I mean i know its a kids film specifically Scooby Doo so happy ending but what the literal FUCK

---

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGHHH

SHAGGY NOOOO

“Buddy, back when we were kids, you saved me. Now, it’s my turn.”

and he dOES THIS WHILE HOLDING SCOOBY’S HEAD TENDERLY IN HIS HANDS

AND WHEN EVERYTHING REVERTS IT’S JUST RUBBLE AND RUIN AND SCOOBY’S LEFT SOBBING OPENLY AT NOTHING

AND THE GANG ALL COME TO CLING AT HIM AND CRY OVER THEIR FRIEND WHO THOUGHT HE WAS WORTHLESS MOST OF THE MOVIE AND THOUGH THAT THE GANG THOUGHT THE SAME ABOUT HIM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH

---

WELP, TIME TO COPE WITH INAPPROPRIATE HUMOR

Shaggy: I yelled at my dog, got him kidnapped, and ended up helping the bad guy to open the gates to Hell. Guess I’ll die.

Dee Dee: Well actually, this is more Dastardly’s fault because -

Shaggy, yelling as he slams his hand against the lock: GUESS I’LL DIE!!!

----

Ah, so the writers wrote themselves into a corner, and the only way out was a Deus Ex Machina (at least, I think I’m using that term correctly…)

Because to get Shaggy back, a giant statue of Alexander the Great and Peritas appears out of nowhere - literally, since it definitely wasn’t there before - with an inscription Scooby has to read to get Shaggy back.

This would have been a lot more effective if we’d seen it when Dastardly arrived in Greece - maybe even as the marker for where the gate to the Underworld was. Have Alexander facing one way, and Peritas facing the other. You open the gate on Alexander’s side, and come home on Peritas’ side. Having this unfold into the gate gives it more purpose than “magically appears right the fcuk outta nowehere” and you could have a pun with the “backdoor” escape. Everybody wins!

And if that’s too good for ya, how about a brief lingering shot by it at some point as Dastardly flies into Greece, behind where the gate materializes, or directly across from it on the plaza? Maybe have one of the gang kick it after Shaggy leaves, and say ‘This is all your fault! Why would you make something like this?’

It’d still be a magical contrivance, but at least it would make some fcuking SENSE.

(Granted it DID lead to this hilariously ominous shot, so maybe I shouldn’t complain:)

---

Velma: I finally figured out what you guys are! You’re the heart of Mystery Inc.

Me: YEAH BABY! *flips over table* I’VE BEEN SAYING THAT SHIT FOR YEARS AND NOW, I’M FCUKING VALIDATED AT LAAAAAAAAST!

----

Shaggy: *rips off Dastardly’s face to reveal…*

ALL: SIMON COWELL??!?

Me, choking on food: I’m sorry WHAT?!?!?

Velma: *takes off mask again to reveal*

ALL: DICK DASTARDLY?!?

Dastardly: Drat! No one ever goes for the double unmasking.

So I was right all along - Simon Cowell truly was a Dick this entire time.

-----

And so we close on the gang unveiling a Mystery Machine paint job on their official detective agency building, Brian Falcon living the good life as the DJ at their party, the Falcon team gifting a sleek new Mystery Machine to the gang (which honestly looks pretty unique - it’s not the classic, but it is something new that isn’t awful, so kudos there), and the gang on their way to another mystery.

So, at the end of the day is this a good Scooby movie?

Meh? *waves hand in meh motion* But it definitely had its moments.

This Scooby film is flawed as heck, no doubt about it - the plot has a MAJOR problem with telling instead of showing, some parts feeling out of order or WAY too short, and of course the deus ex machina ending. I honestly would have loved some more time for their first mystery as kids, where we actually got more character moments/bonding from Fred, Daphne, and Velma as they solved it the more traditional route, as well as not framing FD&V as super duper mystery solvers right off the bat???

The stuff with Blue Falcon isn’t AWFUL, per se, but it is ridiculously satisfying to see him get smacked around. Captain Caveman was honestly one of the funniest bits in the movie, same with Dynomutt.

As far as the character stuff? It all felt fairly natural, progression-wise. Shag and Scoob don’t have this big break-up with the gang - they’re hurt by the literal Dickhead’s comments the gang don’t speak up against, and go to blow off some steam together. Shag and Scoob don’t have this giant blow-up argument - it builds over the film into a hurt spat they both recognize they overreacted to almost immediately. The gang (FDV) go looking for them almost as soon as they leave, and, upon hearing they’re in danger, turn and head towards them to save them, realizing how important the two are to Mystery Inc along the way. They defend each other, help each other, have some of the Best Dang Animated Mystery Inc hugs I ever did see - THIS feels more like the Gang I’ve been waiting for forever to come back to DTV (and in a rough sense, did). While I do wish we’d gotten more screen time of FD&V, what we got wasn’t too bad.

Weirdly enough, at the end of the day, I’ve actually grown more accustomed to Forte’s Shaggy - it feels like it fits this different style a touch more than I originally thought, and holy hell if I didn’t come close to tears at that ending gate scene, he knocked that one out of the park. Velma still doesn’t feel much like Velma, but I did get used to it by the end. I kept cracking up at Efron’s Fred, and no complaints on Seyfried’s Daphne.

Jason Isaacs as Dick Dastardly absolutely killed it. Blue Falcon Crew was okay (excepting Mark “The Racist” Wahlburg - it was just him talking, no real effort. You could recognize Wahlburg right off the bat, acting as a goofy douche) and freaking Captain Caveman was awesome. Apparently they combined both Billy West and Don Messick’s recordings for Muttley (awesome!!!), so this may very well be Don Messick’s final role in a Scooby Doo film.

It got off to a rough start, but ended well enough. The animation was solid, the writing has some unexpectedly clever and funny moments sprinkled throughout, with some pretty fun action sequences on the side. Watching this, I really do believe that the people working on it love Scooby Doo and all things Hanna-Barbera… at least in their own way.

I ended up buying this instead of just renting it ($5 more, why not) and I am honestly glad I did so. Despite its flaws, it has some great moments with the gang as friends, and I have been Craving That Shit for DECADES

And if these writers/directors ever did another Scooby film? I think I’d be up for giving them a chance - at least so long as we got some more absolutely BEAUTIFUL hugs with the gang

I hope you enjoyed this stream-of-consciousness reaction to SCOOB! (2020)... a whole ass year LATER, admittedly (I didn’t switch my Save Post to Queue, curse my hubris), but hopefully y’all’ve been entertained. Good night everybody!

#scoob!#scoob 2020 #scoob #scooby doo #plush reviews: final thoughts #note to self: never use queue for the big posts

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pkmnsdarkqueen · 4 years ago

Text

The Drake Saga: And why giving kids an eevee is better than a hydreigon

Just A cute store about how Drake met Karne and eventually became an umbreon. Tho there is a pyrce scene so uhhh

Tw: child abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse

Also heads up Karen’s birth name Okera or ‘oki-doki’ which is the nickname her dad uses, is mentioned, refer to headcannons about how she ended up with Karen as her name.

Below cut for length

“Hey Okie-doki wanna see what daddy got you?”

The man grinned after bursting open the door. At least that was what Drake assumed happened from what he heard inside the pokeball. He didn’t really understand all that was happening. Just that he was picked up from his mother, and taken with this man. Some stranger he didn’t know, and heard a small girl giggling from outside his ball.

“Adgar what did you do?”

“Something amazing because every child deserves-”

And then it happened. There was a bright light and he went from sitting inside the pokeball to sitting on the ground. Some wood ground with eyes all staring at him. There was the man, a woman who wasn’t smiling staring at the man, and a child with large blue eyes maybe no older than 4.

“Ugh Adgar I said we had enough pokemon.”

“Yeah we have enough but Okie-doki here deserves to have one especially sinec she’d about to head to school.”

“Mine?!”

The child squeaked looking up in awe at who Drake assumed to be your fathers.

“All yours kiddo, we can go make it official at the pokemon center later.”

That was all it took for Drake to find himself in a new situation. He didn’t have time to react as the child moved with immediate speed to wrap him in her arms. He gave a squeak at first in fear, but soon found her grip was surprisingly too strong to break from. It was warm too.....well the warmth wasn’t so bad.

“Adgar honestly.”

“Oh come on Yua I didn’t get her a dragon type since you said that was too dangerous, or a dark type since they’re bad omens to your family. I still think a hydregion would of been cool, but I think this eevee is perfect. I went ahead and named him Drake.”

Yes....Drake, the name this human dubbed him when getting him. Everyone seemed so excited about what was happening besides this woman. There had been so much smiling and joy around him, and yet her face never moved from it’s frown. Giggling rang in his ear as the child kept saying Drake, and finding new spots to pet him in her arms.

As this happened the man crouched down next to his daughter, and pulled her closer for a side hug as he held up the shiny new pokeball freshly engraved on the bottom.

“See this Okera? This is Drake’s pokeball, he’s gonna have a little home in here ok? Wanna know what this says?”

“Yeah!”

“It says,’every princess needs a dragon,’ and Drake is gonna help keep you safe, and you’re gonna keep him safe. That’s what being a trainer is about. As you change he’s gonna change with you, and just like how I want you to become whatever you wanna be he’s going to become something he wants to be ok?”

Her dad explained in a soft comforting voice. Drake stared at him a moment processing this whole arrangement he was explaining. It seemed...silly. How was this doughy child supposed to protect him. He could get out of this hold if he wanted! As he looked back at those eyes he faltered though. They were just, so happy, so kind, so innocent in a way that when she pipped in he knew she was saying it with her whole heart.

“We Drake’s family! Gonna be the best trainer to him!”

I’ll be a good pokemon to you too tiny human.

He smiled setting his paw on her nose immediately getting a giggle from her, yeah this wasn’t so bad.

Dragons for dad

“Woah I mean you kinda look dragon like, do you feel like anything that feels like evolving yet?”

Karen asked crouched down next to her Eevee. The pokemon closed his eyes tightly. Alright think scales, and fijre breathing, and jewel hoarding, and thing dragon, think dragon! He focused all of his energy but.....nothing. There wasn’t even the lighting tingle of change he felt. He failed again. Drake realized opening his eyes as he stared at the ground despondently.

“Aw it’s ok Drake maybe we just gotta try using a new move or something.”

Karen encouraged starting to pull one of the dragon scales from his fur. Seeing that she was pulling the plug for the day he spit out the two dragon fangs he’d wedged in his mouth as well. The two of them were trying to accomplish something unheard of, the first dragon eeveelution. So far they’d tried alot of things, and the latest method was evolution items. He was sort of decorated everywhere in scales and fangs she’d collected still with no luck.

“Hey I’m sure next time we’ll get it! You’re still the goodest of boys ok! We’re gonna make dad proud together, so that when he comes back he’s gonna be blown away by how good of a duo we are!”

She was so alight with passion, and energy as she clenched her fist in determination Drake gave an excited yip to hide the pain in his heart. He knew her dad wasn’t coming back. While she slept he’d been sneaking about hearing what their mother said, how she lied about everything, and how she’d changed things to hide from their father. Even changing the child’s name to Karen. In Karen’s mind this would solve it, getting the first dragon eeveelution would be so impressive her dad had to come back. When the truth was, he couldn’t.

Maybe though if he could do it, maybe he’d see that innocent smile again, and help her like he was supposed to.

Not such a stupid child

“I think you should use Trick for this.”

The old man encouraged handing her a pokeball that twitched with the violent spirit of the murkrow inside. Drake didn’t like that pokemon, no one on the team liked that pokemon. Something was wrong with him. There was almost no thought to the bird besides violence as even it’s words to their ears sounded garbled and overall manic. Stepping in front of his trainer out if instinct he saw the man meet eyes with him. There was a stare that was clearly an invitation to step down, but Drake didn’t move. He didn’t want that pokemon to hurt his human again, or tear his blue bandana like it had before.

“You said use our best sir, and well I’m best at fighting with Drake.”

Karen explained wary in tone when talking to only this figure of authority. Pryce paused at those words finally pulling his eyes from the pokemon to whom he dubbed as his child. She had her hands back at attention having been learning the stance for some time now. !3 currently, and she had the proper protocols down flat.

“Hm, that is true. I do think that if you desire the advantage a murkrow would help with it’s flight.”

“I am aware although Drake and I have found work arounds before, and I have found practicing outside the box ideas helps me in proper missions.”

“Always so helpful, I appreciate it child....I suppose I’m just hurt.”

“Uh...I’m sorry sir, c-can I ask how?”

She asked nervously watching the way he slouched back often before digging into her.

“Well you always choose Drake, the one your father gave you. I’m your father now Karen, so why don’t you love me?”

It wasn’t like that! Drake wanted to shout feeling a growl desperately want to escape, but he swallowed it down knowing she’d be hurt for it. Immediately he felt her thoughts swim. There was panic rising as she registered Pryce could be angry, she had to stop him from being angry at her otherwise she wouldn’t have a family again. That was what she told Drake late at night when they were alone, and now she was in a tizzy as he questioned her loyalty.

“No I do! You’re the best dad I’ve ever had, I-I’m sorry to hurt you sir. Um, I just uh like Drake-”

“Karen, child, calm yourself. I understand, but you really should let go. Your dad left you, I have provided for you like a true father, and it hurts to think about him. Now I have an idea let’s have you get more used to trick ok, and maybe we can eventually phase Drake out. Help you forget about him.

He encouraged handing her the twitching pokeball again. It was new, Drake noticed. He and Karen both saw the inscription on the bottom, freshly engraved,’To my daughter from her father-Masked Man’. So it was new, and this man wanted to replace him! That growl finally escaped. Which lead to Karen scooping him up.

“.....No. I don’t want to forget him, becuase it helps me appreciate you more, and....It’s not Drake’s fault he left. He’s as hurt by it as I am.”

She then took the pokeball holding it as close to her as she held him.

“I’m going to go train with them now, and show I love you.”

Without waiting for an answer, despite the danger in that she turned to take off down the hall with them both. Drake feeling how quickly her heart was beating in fear. He needed to protect her better.

Seperation in a Storm

Everything went wrong.

The whole mission was an utter bust in every way. He didn’t know why, or how due to the panic brough ton by the storm, and he didn’t care. All the wanted was Karen back. They’d been seperated during the escape attempt. He’d been running to her when Lugia suddenly had an outburst, and she was whisked away leaving the eevee standing there as growlithe could be heard yipping behind him. After that he just ran, and ran, and ran, and his feet hurt. They hurt so much. The lighting and thunder wouldn’t stop crashing around him, and any cry he made was deafened by their outbursts. He kept her safe. He made sure to keep everyone busy while she got away, and she waited for him as long as she could. He heard her yelling as the take off happened. A blinding strike of lighting kept him from seeing what happened, but he heard her yelling for a moment, and now it haunted him. Another roll of thunder from directly overhead was the breaking point.

He tripped from fright, and tumbled into some gully washed creek. The current was strong in the pouring rain unfortunately, and with all his fur the water felt so much heavier. His lungs already ached from breathing while running at top speed not to mention his bleeding paw pads from running so hard. The fight he put up was pathetic in every way. It didn’t even feel worth it as he knew he’d likely never find his girl again, so he just gave up.

He wished the fall was peaceful. He wished he could of splashed into something still to accept fate, but with the crashing of the waters from the overload of rain his body was tossed about left to right till even if he wanted to swim he couldn’t tell what direction up was. When he crashed into something he hoped it knocked him out. The crash was a hard one, but hit his back though meaning not knocked out yet. Or ever, as he soon found out feeling teeth, claws, and a hand grab his scruff. Was this death? Was it not cold? He wondered suddenly with a heave pulled from the water, and thrown on shore. What was happening? He wondered too weak and dazed to lift his head. Thankfully he didn’t have to as he was pulled into a familiar embrace.

The same heart beat he’d come to know was up against his hear again as even over the storm he heard sobbing. A houndour wrapped around one side, as a murkrow perched on the girl’s shoulders, and an gloom hopped in her lap to help warm him. She could hardly make a word through her sobbing, but he knew what she wanted. She wanted him to be ok. He was ok, he was now.

A tiny paw went up like it had often before, and batted her nose causing her tears to hitch a moment looking down to find little black eyes blinking at her. The sobs of sorrow became joyous realizing he was ok, and despite everything he felt...warm, tingling even as he looked down at himself realizing a dull glow was starting.

Wait was he? Then it happened. Everything quickly glowed bright, and he felt everywhere grow or shape. He wasn’t sure what Karen did too occupied with the sudden changes to his body, but she wasn’t stopping it. He saw it happen to her oddish, evolution, but they never gave a good description of the feeling. He was acutely aware of two things during it, how much Karen loved him, and the stillness of the moon above thew storming clouds. When it finally stopped he looked down at his body to see dark fur, and that his bandana fit far looser than before.

That was when it dawned on him that he’d become...an umbreon. Not a dragon eeveelution like they’d tried so hard to create. Just a pokemon her mother would deem a bad omen. He knew Karen loved him before, he felt that, but now....he failed her again. The crack of thunder brought him back as he looked to Karen instinctively going for comfort only to immediately receive it by being help in her arms. She didn’t care what he was, she loved him, and all night he let his rings glow to give her comfort till Will could help Pryce find her the next morning.

#drake saga #tw: child abuse #tw: mental abuse #tw: emotional abuse #drabble #drake is goodest boi #(also pryce def told her lugia acted out when he definitely called lugia to fly trying to leave drake behind)

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excorcismic · 4 years ago

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ALRIGHT SO HERE’S THE DEAL ; if misa is my first favorite death note character , this angy kid right here is my second - i adore mello to pieces and he’s very close to misa in terms of how much i love him , but ultimately does she remain queen . but ! the cool thing is that in the series they never actually interact ( the closest being mello spying on her for a brief period of time ) which means i could play my two blonde fashion icons and voila , here they are . so here’s the gist on mello in canon & alucard and most importantly the plots i am digging bc my muse for him rn ?? is off the charts . LESGO !

IN A CANON NUTSHELL ( HUGE DEATH NOTE SPOILERS ) : So Mello’s introduced during the latter half of Death Note ( or maybe it’s more the final third but either way there’s a part where it significantly breaks in two ) - or , the very end of the first half , takes center stage during the second . He’s from the original home of the detective L , an orphanage of gifted children known as Whammy’s House - and essentially , the goal of the children is to maybe one day live up to L , one person taking his place . Mello !! Is one of the candidates . But he has a permanent chip on his shoulder since Near - the other candidate - always managed to beat him at everything . So when Light Yagami gets his way & L dies , Near and Mello are told that L didn’t choose a successor between them . When the idea that they work together to do just that is brought up , Near ( who honestly really liked Mello ) is like ‘hey! let’s do it’ and Mello ( still angy that Near is always right in front of him ) is like ‘FUCK you I’m gonna catch Kira myself’ and leaves the orphanage . Five years later , he works with the mafia , even getting his hands on a Death Note & with the help of a shinigami ( that he scared the living piss out of ) concludes that a rule that states a human will die if they haven’t written in the notebook in thirteen days is fake . He also like , blackmails the president and orchestrates an explosion that Soichiro Yagami dies after but he gets a wicked ass scar afterwards so it’s okay . Now working with L’s third potential successor , Matt , he spies on Misa Amane and makes connections between the second L ( Light Yagami ) & Kira , deduces that Kiyomi Takada is an accomplice , and kidnaps her to try and expose Kira as Light Yagami - but . . . he dies in the process , and so does Matt . The cool thing is though his discoveries led to Near’s breakthrough in the Kira case ( as he and Near met one last time , where he gives Mello the photo he has here in Alucard ) and Mello kind of gets the last laugh post-mortem . And also a kind of neat thing , his last appearance is as the narrator in the Death Note prequel , the Los Angeles BB murder cases - I’m gonna quote the whole thing in my eventual intro but ! It’s an awesome book and Mello is an awesome narrator . ( dn spoilers end here tyvm )

IN AN ALUCARD NUTSHELL - So Mihael Keehl ( his real name in canon , mind you ) is a twenty year-old runaway from the foster system - also sometimes lived in an orphanage but when he wasn’t , the constant tossing around because of his rebellious tendencies wrecked him . He isn’t employed , not does he actually have an actual home - living in a beat down truck most of the time if he can’t get a motel / hotel room for a night or a few . He makes basic expenses and fills his basic needs by doing odd jobs in exchange for money or favors - stuff like ‘if I do this for you for x amount of days or I get this for you you’ll pay for my phone bill for the next two months’ and that stuff . Basic arrangements . And he knows he can like , maybe try to commit to a job or a home but he’s actually . . . way too fucking scared of being tied down or in a worse situation that’s somehow more stable so the nomad life is kind of what he sticks with . But he’s homeless & it’s not good for him . At all . He’ll never flat-out admit that though which is why he calls himself a drifter . His main reason for being on his own , and refusing any extensive help from anyone outside of these favors , is because he has a point to prove - because that inferiority complex kicks in because the other kids he grew up against are doing amazing things and he wants to do better , and not receive any large amount of help . He just ,,, doesn’t understand he’s not doin’ any good for himself .

BUT OOOOOOOH YOU WANNA PLOT WITH MELLO SO BAD OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

so the biggest connection in the sense that it’s the most open , i mentioned that mello mainly pays for his own expenses ( or more so , gets other people to pay for them ) by doing favors or small jobs in exchange for either money or other forms of payment . so obviously , people he has these arrangements with - they can range from anything , mello is extremely smart ( a thing that comes up is that he has a shit ton of wasted potential ) in the books , technology , the streets and has a bunch of small talents he’s picked up over the years of living on his own ( saving money , sewing and mending / caring for clothes how else is he gonna keep that amazing fashion , cooking with very little ingredients , cleaning with little tools , fixing the kinks / souping up automobiles , ahem sexual stuff , tutoring , sometimes even mild illegal shit , you name it . ) so he can offer these talents / skills / etc . to other people who could use them ( most of the time repeatedly ) and in exchange , the other muses will pay him in cash or by doing things like paying his phone bill , car insurance , health insurance , food / groceries , hotel/motel room for a few nights , or even just offering him a place to use the shower or bathroom or even a bed for certain days of the week . This can also lead to many of the other plots I have listed here in the sense it’s a start , and it can happen with anyone , anywhere , for any reason .

literally the thing w/ mel is that he knows no limits and will do anything for anyone and is hardheaded as fuck about it because he’s got a point to prove and things to do and he won’t waste time refusing but the moment you offer your help in exchange for nothing or you’re trying to hold his hand a little too much and he catches on , the arrangement’s over and you’ll be lucky to see him again .

okay so uh . in that sense ?? maybe ppl who kind of helped him out and he did like . one thing for them and once he got his payment for that one thing he kinda bounced n they never heard from him again for whatever reason . nothing against them but he rly isn’t gonna make a habit of staying in one place for too long .

obviously , those people that really think he’s gotta give up the ghost of trying to survive like this bc it’s wearing on his health & he doesn’t wanna admit it . and he’s tried shaking them off but he won’t leave and sometimes he’s forced to give into the help they offer but tries making them take a payment back .

old peers that felt whatever way about him back then but feel pity for his wasted potential ( at the moment ) , bc this dude was like . . . a straight-a student and was rly good at a bunch of things and now he’s living the way he is . whatever they wanna do and however they felt about him and how he interacted with them back then Differs but . there’s kind of like ‘damn u live like this’ now . gimme some kids who had crushes on him , kids he was rivals with , kids he got into fights with and maybe socked in the jaw a few times , kids who always admired him , kids who hated his guts - it always comes down to what life is like now vs. what life was like then .

i’d like some friends who were formed from the favors - and maybe they’ve stopped whatever they had with him but they still regularly hang out or something , maybe offer a place to stay for the night .

just in general ?? people who keep their home open for him and whether he takes them up on their offer on a rare basis .

pls some folks trick him into accepting their help like leave him basket of chocolate candy and trap him or something like just . make it ‘wait what’ deal bc they all know he’s stubborn .

also uh . he’s been arrested for minor offenses a few times so some ppl who’ve bailed him out pls and he’s tryna repay him back .

mentor figures . mentor figures pls he’s trying not to accept their mentor-y guidance from .

so maybe the hero . . . maybe the one person who was like the l to mello of alucard ( maybe even the Man himself ) that he just . looked up to forever and probably still does .

. . . favor idea ?? maybe he’s a stand-in boyfriend or date for events or somethin’ like mello kinda has that bad boy reputation but maybe he dated them for show on their whim at some point or they have that kinda thing ‘pls pretend to my boyfriend and i’ll let u use my shower every weekend for the next month’ or so .

also , one night stands or friends with benefits he uses only for the bathroom / a place to sleep . folks he’s dated for a period bc he did feel something and therefore he had them as an outlet but then broke up with them ( most likely ?? he was the one who ended it bc he has never known love stability & got spooked on it ending and just - did it on his own accord before he could further get hurt BUT THAT NEVER WORKS and he has hella commitement issues ) and tried to shrug it off as ‘ just another fling ’ even tho he’s highkey sad over it . ppl he’s slept with and then disappears with only a ‘thank you’ note as the evidence he was there . and do they accept it ?? are they pissed over it ?? that is up to You but it’s probably gotten around that mihael keehl has never had a stable relationship and never , ever stays .

lots of ppl he probs has the above two arrangements or scenarios with bc again , gotta get shit done somehow .

enemies . . . he has an endless grudge with for some reason like maybe they screwed him over ,

i want . . . folks he can eventually get soft with and maybe actually seek that comfort in even tho u gotta chip at the five thousand concrete walls to get to that stage . i want to see him become better and that’s an ultimate goal for him in alucard ( even though it’s gonna be a bit more difficult with his memories returning ) to get better , commit to something , accept stability and get his life on a better track .

and yes , that includes an eventual ship ! really it can build off of any of these dynamics just . give me sneaking in through windows late at night , soft words and gentle kisses and protective hugs and please stay i know you never stay but please stay with me and the thought that maybe he should leave but he doesn’t and they wake up with him after a night and he’s still there and maybe there’s a scare he left like he always does but he made chocolate chip pancakes and he feels safe & alright which is . . . a rare occasion in his messy ass life . maybe something like friends to lovers , fwb to lovers , an old flame , anything this could be fun to do !! end goal though , i’d like something on the softer side that’s healthy and loving because that’s really what he needs .

( some notes tho bc he’s only twenty i’ll sayyyy max i’ll do the more romantic / spicier stuff with in that aspect is . . . 23 - 24 ?? bc he’s almost 21 like if we put the fact we’re in october into account and his birthday is december 13th that isn’t too far away so . That’s That . he’s also pan as fuck . )

BUT , yes . the main connections / plots there are what i can think of . ik a lot of these are so wordy and i’m sorry bt as always ! i will take literally anything i love plots and i think with what i have for mello there is so much potential in what we can do here .

and as always . give me other death note characters . near or matt specifically would fucking make me cry and i’m here for it .

#dhq.plots #░ ★ abt . ❛ ɪ·ᴅ ʀᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ɢᴏ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʟʟ ᴛʜᴀɴ ʙᴇ ɪɴ ᴘᴜʀɢᴀᴛᴏʀʏ / mello #homelessness tw

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praphit · 6 years ago

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The X-People: DP Degrees of BS

Frickin Phoenix!

(What does that even mean? “Every hero has a DARK side?” She kills people! Are all of our heroes murderers? - but I’ll get to that later.)

I'm mad! That's right, people! I'm mad at MYSELF! Why? Well, I could have taken the kids to go see "The Secret Life of Pets 2", so we could laugh our asses off (Idk what kids I'm talkin about - just randomly picking kids up off the streets and taking them to see movies... prob best I didn't do that).

I could have seen something cultured like "Late Night" or "THE LAST BLACK MAN IN SAN FRANSISCO"; which I admit is a stupid title, but it seems like it's a good movie. But, no, people! My comic book geekiness would not allow it!

Instead I went to see this bullshit right here - “X-Men: Dark Phoenix”.

Don't look at me that way, Sansa! You know dag gon well this movie is some ol' bullshit!

You know! The rest of your acting squad knows, the director knows, the writers know - I knew from the first trailer! I knew from the first time they announced that they were taking another crack at a cinematic Phoenix story. Why?? Cuz we've done this before! Yep!

There it is! - and it was terrible!

What’s going on with that poster? Apparently, they didn’t have any confidence in that movie either. Why is Wolverine running at me like Sonic the Hedgehog?

I tried to find a better poster, but...

Here they look like they’re posing in some 80′s rock video. TAKE THAT STAND:)

I was mad back then with the first trailer, because I knew that this moment would come. And I actually really liked the first two movies of these particular X-Men. It was Apocalypse that ruined everything.

People thought that movie was so bad, that it erased all the good that this franchised has done (even going back to the older X-Men):

The ground-breaking 1st movie (tho it prob doesn't hold up),

(Creepy old Magneto is coming for dat ass!)

Wolverine

(it's hard to imagine anyone playing him better than Hugh Jackman. And he should have won an award for how cut he got... and he was so modest. If I ever end up looking like that, WHEW! - ladies look out:),

I loved Patrick Stewart as Prof. X, James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender's intense hot & frigid bromance (though we never got our make-out seen:), Quicksilver (man, I wish we could get more of him), "Logan" (excellent comic book movie), and I'm not sure if we'd have Deadpool without them ruining that first Wolverine movie. Not to mention that they marketed the hell out of this movie franchise and made so much money! But, then this guy showed up and effed it all to hell!

("Everything they built will FALL... ")

- you ain't lyin, jack!

And while that movie was terrible, it wasn't as bad as everyone said. Bullshit sure, but... there are different degrees of bullshit. Apocalypse was forgettable BS, sometimes there's BS that makes us laugh, or think, or cry - what type of bullshit will Dark Phoenix be? - Let's take a look:

This movie kicks off with the X-Men in space. Yep! SPACE! Since when are the X-Men astronauts? Which movie did they get training for any of that? How did they build an X-Jet for space travel? Did they learn it on YouTube? And even if that were the case, how's the government allowing this? If a group of talented minorities built a functional space craft, do you think President Trump would allow them to come and go as they please? Shiiiiiii In the movie they don't even test it first. Xavier just says that they'll be fine, and sends the kids off.

I think that there needs to be an investigation. Prof. X is trying to kill these kids. He keeps sending them on missions that they shouldn't come back from:

X-Men: "But, professor, we don't know how to disarm a bomb!"

Xavier: "You'll be fine."

X-Men: "But, professor, the X Jet isn't built for deep sea exploration, we don't even know where we're going!"

Xavier: "Y'all will figure it out."

Then, as they come back, he's counting to see if they all made it - "Ten kids left, and coming back, I count... ten DAMMIT! But, wait, one is injured... doesn't look like he'll pull through. YES! (as he drinks some bourbon - which he does at an alarming rate in this movie... prob to block out all the kids he has killed).

While we're on the topic of him - did the movie "Split" ruin James McAvoy's take on Prof X for anybody else? This is all I kept seeing when he was on camera.

But, as you know, cuz they did this exact plot in "X-Men: Last Stand" Jean Grey gets possessed by some space entity while they're up there, and becomes Phoenix.

Jean (played by Sophie Turner, who actually does a good job) is found to have done something horrible. Xavier (and this is no spoiler, cuz again X-Men: Last Stand") blocks out the bad stuff she has done to try to protect her, this eventually wears off, and now we get DARK

...wait, sorry.

Now we get DARK PHOENIX!

There we go!

(”Where’s my money?!”)

Now, Jessica Chastain is in this as well seen here, experimenting with bleach,

who's leading a group of aliens to manipulate Jean (I'll get to them later). But, if JC is in the house, you can be sure that a women's rights message will be in there somewhere (#drinkinggame) And BOOM, there it was - "Don't let some MAN in a chair tell you what you are? - what you can and can not be! Don't let him controoool you!"

I'm all for girl power, buuuuuut she HAS been on a bit of a carnage streak, and she has been killing people, annnnnnd isn't Jessica Chastain also trying to control her? But, imma let all that go... what do I know?? :)

I gotta be honest, I was digging the first half of this movie. They were capturing everything I love about the X-Men: social issues, political issues, teen struggles. They have lots of real drama going on amongst themselves. There are times when you'll cheer the X-Men on and times when you'll agree with some of the humans that THEY GOTZ TO GO! I love the flaws of the X-Men; it makes them relatable. I even love the struggle with having so much power, and yet having to try to walk a line of morality - which they suck at btw.

The professor sucks at it the most, which made me kinda sad, actually. BUT, to be fair, he has the power to control people's minds... would any of us with that power be able to consistently resist certain temptations?? Def not giving him a pass though. He does a lot of messed up stuff (some things they draw attention to, and others that they don't). Some things that made me cringe, even though MOST of what he was doing was out of love. I can't depend on none of my fave leaders anymore - not even the fictional ones.

We were getting into some deep stuff! BUT, then it was as if some big shot walked on the set and reminded them that they have a "Blow shit up" quota to meet, and that the plot points were slowing them down. Soooooooo, they burn the script and start blowing things up. Some people might say "Praphit, this is a comic book movie, how much script can you expect?" If this were 20 years ago, I'd agree.

Plus, it's more the fact that nothing makes any sense at this point.

Magneto (who's always the voice of reality in these movies, in my opinion) wants to kill Jean (for very good reasons), but he knows that he can't take Phoenix by himself, so why is he trying? He's a smart dude; why not come up with a better plan? Prof X wants to talk to Jean, to reason with her... the problem with that is that they just tried that a few days ago, and that couldn't have gone any more terribly than it did. The aliens in this movie (which lack all personality btw), who's objective is to control Jean, also know that they can't really do that or take her out (which was plan B), so... what the hell are we doing? The aliens are supposed to be the smart ones!

Prof X should have just controlled everyone's minds, and played a big game of immoral chess to take Jean out - that would have been a cool movie. But, this (though the effects are VERY COOL:) simply became a shoot-out! Not to mention, that right before all of this awesome, but confusing damage takes place, they have a big speech about restraint and not doing harm. Literally, a minute later, the X-Men are blowing buses up!

But, all of that is not even what makes this movie bullshit (grade: D+ btw). What makes this movie bullshit is the fact that it's the last one before Disney takes over.

You'd think that they would have given it their best, so that they can go out making us miss them! But, it felt like half way through the movie the team was told that this is all over, and that Mickey Mouse is coming to collect, but instead of going out with their best, they said to themselves "bleep it" and mailed-it-in.

The way that the final battle scene ends doesn't make any sense. It's one of those scenarios where "If you could do that... why didn't you do that earlier and save more destruction?" and a lil bit of "Well, if you had THAT much power, then none of these other altercations should have even been close."

The way it ends after that too! Man! It's like they just fast forwarded through the parts they didn't feel like acting out. This is the last one, people! Just lazy!

Yeah you!

I've got a spoiler, sooooo if you don't want it, skip through the text after Patrick Stewart - and start reading again when you see his handsome face again:)

(this is back when I learned to love this man)

So, Jean is... gone (possibly dead), and the X-Men name the school after her "Institute of Jean Grey" or something like that. Also, Prof X steps down (maybe due to guilt of his misatkes with Jean, who knows for sure, cuz they didn't act it out), and leaves Beast in charge in with the other teen X-Men to instruct the 'young kids at the school. "Other TEEN X-Men" Did they just make these kids professors? And what qualifies Beast (at this stage in his life) to run the school? Plus, Jean Grey was kind of a murderer wasn't she (and this wasn't a secret from the rest of the world)? Come on,kids, let me sign you up for "Ted Bundy's School for gifted youngsters" Would you be onboard for that? Hell no!

(Here’s PS fresh off a bender. “I promise, Timmy, I’ll try to think about never touching the sauce again, but this hair says that I will.”)

So... I'd say, entertaining bullshit. The effects (especially) at the end are great! But, the rest... and to go out like this... ugh.

There's a cool quote in here from Mystique (played by J.Law) who clearly didn't want to be there. It was a quote about how the women in the X-Men seem to be sticking their necks out and saving the day way more than the men, and that maybe Xavier should change their name to “The X-Women”. I thought that was not only funny, but a damned good point. I say do it!

I'd love it if you had a a big strong manly man of the team go ahead of the action and stand up to the enemy, and when asked "Who are you?" he replies

"We're the X-Women."

#x-men: dark phoenix #x-men #john praphit #praphitproductions.com #wolverine #jennifer lawrence #sophie turner #praphit #Movie Reviews #Marvel Comics #disney #Fox #Patrick Stewart

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iphoenixrising · 7 years ago

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Hi! Hate to bug you when you are probably busy, but I need a story on this! A story where Tim somehow becomes a bat earlier. Possibly with some Dick/Tim or Jason/Tim, or all three later? Please and I love you!

Hi babe. This? Would be so just adorable. All the adorable please. Hm. Robin!Jason maybe? Ah, just a short thing tho, okay?

The little kid is such a tiny thing, Robin has no fucking clue how he got all the way up the side of the Wallstone with just his hands (and apparently a camera). But the inevitable fall is something he already banked on.

With an easy swoop down, the Boy Wonder snatches the small child in one arm, pressing the button on his grapple gun to haul them back up to the roof.

“Gotcha ya, hold on!” Robin kicks off the side of the Royale so they don’t slam into it mid-swing. His cape flutters, caught in the wind, and small arms wind around him silently.

He gets an eyeful of the waif when they reach the top, and he’s got the kid hefted up on one arm, amazed at how small he looks.

“It’s way ta late fer anyone your age ta be out,” he lectures in his deeper voice, putting the kid down. “It’s Gotham, kid. Don’tcha know any better?”

The little kid just scuffs his nice sneakers and hunches his shoulders, cradling the camera around his neck like the most precious thing in the world.

“S’allright. I getcha, okay? So, yer gonna tell ya name, and I’ma taking ya home. We’ll right it off as an adventure, you feel me?” He reaches out to ruffle the kid’s too long dark hair, grinning a little when those blue-violet eyes peer up at him through the night.

“My name is Alvin Draper and I live in the Narrows, above the old theater,” the kid tells him, all eyes and please believe me on his mug.

Not likely.

“Uh-hu, and I’m Red Arrow. Nice ta meetcha, Alvin. You ain’t from the Narrows. That camera? Ya didn’t steal it. Someone bought it f’ ya. Sneakers, Class A. Pricey. Jean, even the hoody probably cost more than most people in the Narrows make in a day. So, ya not foolin’ anyone.”

Those brows draw together, the eyes dart to the side of the building—

(Stupid move, kid, but Robin’s body tenses anyway)

—and over his right shoulder. The change is immediate, the jaw-dropping awe, the eyes widening, a small gasp taking in abrupt air, all of it making Robin throw up his goddamned hands because someone is landing it on the roof with them.

And it’s just gotta be—

“Aw, Little Wing! You have a fan!” Nightwing comes striding up, zip line wound in hand, and a smile that would light up the night. The asshole comes right up and kneels down to the speechless kid and holds out a hand.

“Hi. I’m Nightwing. What’s your name?” The vigilante all but coos.

“Tim. I’m Tim. Hi Nightwing, it’s nice to meet you,” and the boy turns his face down, pink suffusing his cheeks, shy and adorable. The combination just hits the vigilante right in the heart.

“Oh? I thought it was Alvin,” Robin smirks because gotcha.

The kid takes a second to come out of his fanboy haze to look up at Robin with a sigh, “you were going to take me home. And…and even if my clothes are nice and I have a camera, there’s no on waiting for me there. I…I don’t want to get anyone in trouble, but it’s really okay, Robin.”

And the unwavering certainty makes Robin take the same pause Nightwing is because this kid?

Another sigh when both vigilantes just stare.

“Give me a curfew and I’ll do what you say, but please don’t turn me in.”

Slowly, Robin and Nightwing look at one another and share an understood nod.

Plan B time.

The kid gets to wear Robin’s cape while he clings to Nightwing’s shoulder and the older vigilante shimmies down sly-like to the street for some burgers, fries, and a kid’s meal with hot chocolate (you want coffee? You’re nine, no!).

The two vigilantes listen to the sparse deets over the food while the kid lays it out for them.

He’s Tim Drake. A neighbor to Bruce Wayne and the heir to a large Fortune 500 company. (That’s apparently living spans of months with nannies in the daytime and nights to himself in the large estate on the edges of Gotham.

Robin and Nightwing had raised the whiteouts at this little piece of news, but they got the whole story before making a ruling.

On the way to the Batmobile, Nightwing holds Tim on a hip while perched three stories up as Robin takes out a few muggers with a little fast and furious.

(He knows he’s not as fast as N, probably never will be. Will never be half the crime fighter, the partner, his predecessor. Who fucking could be?)

And by then, the kid is finally showing some wear by the time Nightwing lays him down in the back seat and Robin digs out a fluffy blanket from under the passenger seat to cover him (he’s not taking on the fight for his cape. Nope. it’s gone).

He and Nightwing fired the big car while those eyes drooped in the back seat. A full belly and warm fuzzy, little Tim Drake sighs because it’s been absolutely the best night ever (and he’s already planning contingencies in case they tell the police or Mom and Dad or something comes out of this).

He’s about half aware when he asks, “where are you taking me now?” with a kitten yawn and only his eyes peering from the warm fuzzy and Robin’s cape.

“Home,” Robin looks around the seat, giving that smirk, his eyes so deeply blue outlined with the domino. “Ya promised to go in by curfew, so’s we’re taking ya home, Timmy.”

And he’s sleepy enough that he lays back down on the back seat, the leather firm, holding him just right. He fits here like he fits in the window in the attic room.

So he isn’t out-thinking himself when he says, “okay. At least you’ll be closer to home, patrol is over, right?” and closes his eyes to try falling half asleep with the vibrations under his cheek and side.

The big car slows to a crawl and eases to a stop. Very slowly, both vigilantes turn to look at him around their seats.

“Tim. What did you say?” It’s Nightwing asking, his voice deeper and suspicious.

Robin’s brow is arched over the dominio, his expression disbelieving.

Oh no.

He fumbles to sit up, still wrapped in the blanket, and stuttering out, “what?”

Both of them give him the look.

Oh…no…

Tim buries his face in his hands…and tells them the truth.

It’s Dick marvelling at the perceptions of the kid (natural detective), and Jason grinning at him in wonder.

So…they’re out of plans for this one.

Time to call

The Boss

Who is stuck in the Cave monitoring while healing up from a terrible run-in with Killer Croc (ironically the reason Nightwing is in town for a while, to patrol with the Boy Wonder and maybe try bonding).

B’s voice over comms is calm and somewhat petulant when he gives the Executive Order to bring the young man back to the Cave (He’s probably driving Alfred up the wall).

In the background, the butler is musing aloud if they have any clothing to fit a nine-year old boy. Perhaps some of Master Dick’s old things are still in his room. (Of course they are.) And as young men have a rousing appetite, perchance, what is the boy’s favorite pizza topping?

And since he doesn’t seem to be in trouble, Tim goes with it, rubbing the slick, thick Kelvar lining with his thumb and forefinger while Jay puts his feet up on the dash and wiggles his toes in the pixie boots.

They draw more details out of him on the way to Wayne Manor: where he goes to school, what his activities are, where his parents are constantly going to leave him at home alone. (“I mean it. It’s fine. They can’t hate me if they never see me, right?”) And when he thinks they might kill him, driving straight into the side of a hill, the secret way parts and complete darkness settles around the car.

Jay slides a gloved hand back behind the seat, and Tim latches on to it, leaning between the seats to see the cave in the headlights.

Lights give way and he is in complete awe.

“Welcome to the Batcave, Timmy,” Dick grins over his shoulder as the car parks by an impressive bank of computers, and Jay squeezes his hand before the top rolls open…

And he meets, the Dark Knight.

Batman is suited up. He has a walking cast around his leg and has a cane, but that nothing to retract from the total bad ass emanating from every pore.

“Wow,” Tim breathes softly as the vigilante that started it all limps up to him, and tilts the cowl down to size him up.

“Hello, Tim.”

“H-Hi.”

“My partners tell me you figured out our secret identities.”

Tim blinks and swallows, his hands fisted down at his sides. “Mr.—Mr. Wayne, I’ll never, ever, ever tell anyone. Not even if the Joker gets me and—and, I’ll just! I’ll tell him I don’t know. I will never give up your secret!”

A scowl under the mask makes the young boy sweat a little, but he tilts his chin up and waits.

“I think,” the Batman starts slowly, and his free hand moves up, taps the side of his cowl, “it would be a better idea—”

And the cowl goes back, showing electric blue eyes and dark brows, black hair, and cut cheekbones. Bruce Wayne.

“—if we teach you how to defend yourself. In case that ever happens.”

The breath goes out of him in a rush. “Teach me?”

Nightwing and Robin pull off the masks, move to stand beside their Mentor and regard him. But B sees exactly what would happen here.

If they put Tim Drake into the system, reported neglect to the police, he would probably go through an unforgiving system for a while and go right back to his normal life since the Drakes were independently wealthy.

Nothing for him would change.

But, since he could do this as Bruce Wayne, and not just as Batman, they could give this young detective a chance.

“Something tells me you’re going to have a place here, Tim, but I’m going to warn you. What we do is dangerous. There’s always a risk. Until you learn the rules, you do it my way or no way. Deal?” Bruce sticks out a hand without looking away, his gauntlet spikes gleaming in the overhead light.

And Tim Drake straightens his small back, anticipation trembling on the edge of his tongue. But he shoves his hand in Mr. Wayne’s

“Deal!”

and shakes on it.

#winter answers #ask #this was cute #Robin!Jason #big brother Dick #tim drake #dick grayson #jason todd #tiny!tim

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the-nysh · 8 years ago

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Opm dub: complete English OVA commentary (with links)

Oh man! I’ve been waiting for AGES to finally see these in English, ever since seeing the subs for them way back. My main incentive to compare how gay the translations are, and I can certainly say, I’ve not been disappointed! 8D

Below are my thoughts and impressions from each one, complete with links and a transcription of fun quotes I enjoyed! Have fun!

OVA1: The Shadow that snuck up too close

Saitama, to himself: “Man, I gotta admit, stalkers really are scary. Come to think of it, lately I’ve been feeling eyes on me from somewhere too. … It’s no big deal if it’s just someone with a grudge. But… if that anger turned into some kind of warped love or twisted infatuation the way it did in that movie, then…how should I handle it?” (Look at this, he’s ok being hated; he can handle physical confrontations, but emotional things like love and stuff frighten him! Ahh Saitama, just how will you deal with Genos’ type of attention?! 8D)

Genos: “Perhaps the secret to his power lies in his food. ... No normal person would dream of such behavior, therefore…” (Genos pls, there’s nothing special in Saitama’s trip to the diner, his diet, or his choice in food; the egg is just poor! Genos simply cannot fathom these conditions otherwise. Grasping at straws, yet doesn’t understand the most simple explanation. Important to note, this demonstrates how he couldn’t put two-and-two together to purposely bribe Saitama later with rent money (offering rent is simply proper boarding manners instead) as he doesn’t understand how tight Saitama’s finances are. Plus, once Genos writes off this superfluous ‘food’ explanation for Saitama’s power, it also writes off the ‘Saitama eats monster parts for power’ fan theory too.)

Saitama: “Thieving bastard! I’m so gonna catch you and kick your ass!” (GAWD I’m dying over these NERDS trying to out-stalk each other. XD)

Genos: “…DAMN! It IS just a french fry!” (overdramatic no indoor voice borg) “He has a normal diet; it is no different from an average person’s. I have not discovered a single thing. Is it possible that Master could be a cyborg like me? I have considered the data, just one thing left to do.” (CONFRONT HIM IN PERSON MY GUY. Also, his hope that Saitama could be like him. :’3)

Saitama, to the so-called monster/‘thief’: “COME AT ME STRAIGHT!” (LOL, the dramatic irony here how they’re indirectly talking to/about each other)

Saitama’s internal monologue: “If I continue being a hero, I’m sure this won’t be last time someone’s out for revenge against me. That’s my fate; it can’t be avoided I guess. I just need to change how I think. Right! I need to think positively! I simply have to believe there’ll be people in this world who appreciate what I do. People who’ll know that I’m there to help. I became a hero 3 years ago. I’m not saying I need fans or anything, but it’d be nice if someone noticed all the things I’ve been doing around here. …Oh yeah! There was that one guy who wanted to be my disciple.” (He REMEMBERED Genos! Thinking of things positively from now on too, thank god! :’D)

Genos: “Investigation day 5. I have prepared myself for the worst. *deep breath* Sensei, sir!” Saitama: “You actually showed up.” (Gawd, Genos taking that huge pause, mentally preparing himself to confront Saitama directly. Including preparing his whole backstory speech at ready too. But man, he doesn’t want to screw this up or upset Saitama from all this. :’D)

Summary: Man I love the dramatic irony in this ova. And how in the beginning, it was all dark in trepidation, with Saitama scared of a 'warped love, twisted infatuation' stalker, but in the end...he wants to think positively of what may come, and thinks of Genos :')))) (boy does he have a storm coming!)

OVA2: The Disciple who stinks at storytelling

The mafia guy…refers to the giraffe keychain as 'these babies' GAWD I’m already dying. “This little giraffe must mean a lot to you!” FFFFF!!! And HOW! 8D Genos: “Yes. It is extremely important.” BOIIII

THE BATH SCENE: full script I posted here. Gggnnghh, Saitama TRYING to get Genos to say how the water feels good: “How was it for you?” GAWD! Just trying to get Genos to relax (like in the drama cd), and Genos not quite understanding that and shifting the convo to a pitch singing match instead. Saitama’s “aww, c’mon really?” like with a fond, ‘oh man what am I gonna do with him’ smile, and then playing along anyway. :’))) Genos’ “that is the note for mi!” in english sounds so much like ‘me,’ like Saitama had delivered HIM the special note he requested! THESE DORKS!! 8’D Messing around together in a public bath house! (where that other old guy can totally witness their unabashed antics!)

*Saitama noticing Genos staring and standing awkwardly close to him while naked on the massage chair* S: “Uhh…you can take off without me, you know. *gives keys* Wouldn’t want you to get a chill after your bath. But hey, don’t lose those, ok? These are crazy times we’re living in. Losing your keys will only lead to trouble.” Saitama pls, Genos can’t catch a chill. XD But look at that, the egg worried for his safety/wellbeing anyway, as he gives him permission to leave ahead of him. ;D Seriously, those double-take side glances of his at Genos standing so expectantly next to his side! Like goodness, egg would like some space pls. XD But also, Genos takes Saitama’s key offering and instructions to protect it super seriously too. (he never changes the position of his arm while carrying it!)

*flash to present* G: “THAT is how important the key is to me.” Don: “Your stories are terrible. ‘Faah’-get about it! Nobody cares about any of this crap!” (lol, the audience does tho ;D) G: “Your ‘Fa’ should be higher; ‘Fa~’ see?” (HOLY SHIT what an ass! XD) Don: “Unghh!!” G: “In any case, the key is important and I would like it back now. Surely you have…one or two things that are important to you.” Don: “My Family means everything to me! I’d do just about anything for’ em!” G: “I see, then you understand how I would do anything for Master Saitama.” (!!!!!!!!!! The important, classic declaration line, delivered like this! :’D)

*flashback* S: “So you decided to wait around after all? It’s so cold, too.” *sneezes* G: “Are you ok, Master?!” S: *shivers* “It’s freezing out. The chill’s gettin to me.” G: *glances at his head* S: “Uh – were you just checkin out my head?” G: “No! I would never.” GAAHH! It’s so gay!! I can’t handle this. :’D Like, OF COURSE Genos wouldn’t leave Saitama alone there! Previously Saitama was worried Genos might catch a chill, but HE catches one instead! And Genos showing his open concern for him! Glancing at his head like mentally correlating his baldness with greater heat loss too (get him a hat, Genos!) Saitama noticing that detail and using the flirty, ‘checkin out’ language, GAH! Plus Genos’ BLATANT LIES. FFFFF!!!

S: *imitating Genos* “DINNER TARGET AQUIRED~!” With that super quick facial change, and Genos staring at him the whole time! 8D

G: *extremely close death glare at the store employee* “It is only 2 seconds past the posted time. Will you please make an exception? You still have the merchandise!” *seething and clenching his fist* “The attitude of that employee. Have you any idea how I felt?! IT WAS WRONG!!” (absolute, no chill drama borg throwing an emotional fit here)

*Genos continues to ramble on, with the Don getting pissed and annoyed at him to get to the fucking point already* G: “Be patient. There is an order to the series of events in question.” (this was the ‘words come from the heart’ line from the fan translations) *comes to the conclusion that they’re complete strangers with zero connection* Don: “You mean you’ve been running your mouth since the moment we got here, just so you could tell me you’ve met him on the street today for the first time?!” G: “You did ask. There, I told you everything. Now give me back the keys as you promised you would.” Don: “SMARTASS PUNK!” (and later: “YOU FOOL! How stupid can someone possibly be!?”) Genos plsss… Like, it’s adorable how naïve and straight-laced he is, expecting proper honest procedure from typical law-abiding citizens…however, these mobster guys are anything but! (and yet he doesn’t even recognize or expect they’re criminals at first) And him simply rambling about his complete bath story with his sensei to complete strangers!! His enthusiasm and priorities, man! X’D

*flash to the REAL present* G: “And finally after all that, I was able to get the key back. But unfortunately, I missed the sale.” S: “Well…I had a spare key so in the end it was no big deal. But it sounds like you had a lot to contend with, didn’t cha?” G: “Master, I must apologize to you. I am too incompetent to run your errands!” S: “Nah~! It’s no big deal! We’ll just have a tofu hotpot tonight.” (he’s really warm here :3) G: “This will not make up for it…” S: “Hm?” G: “But here, *offers special bag* I went by another store.” S: “Huh? NO WAY! That’s some super expensive meat you brought home!” (he’s super happy!)

S: “Good thing we had some eggs, it’s sukiyaki time! Let’s dig in!” (the egg mentions eggs, heh) G: “RIGHT!” (HE is so happy now too!!)

Summary: So GOSH, this entire ova can be summed up with a ‘GENOS PLS’ and ‘these total gay, hopeless dorks!’ X’D Also, the end scene reveals Genos had told Saitama this entire convoluted story too, but UNLIKE the Don, Saitama patiently listens to the whole thing without complaint! Even warmly reassuring Genos’ distress that everything’s fine. :’3 And yep, Genos humbly offers him the expensive meat in apology (as the best alternative he could find, as in his fool mind, best=most expensive), and Saitama is so HAPPY to receive something he would never normally get! Both of them, enjoying a fancy hotpot together. :’D Bless <333

OVA3: The overly complicated ninja (Sonic’s special)

Sonic’s epically horrible dream about getting punched in the dick by Saitama. Stranger: “Everything ok? I heard you moaning up there!” (WORD CHOICE, man! XD) “You kept calling out ‘Saitama…Saitama.’”

Sonic fukkin carves a detailed face of the egg into a tree… He’s eternally haunted by phantoms of an evil Saitama always ending their encounters by punching him in the dick!! c h r i s t ‘Why’ indeed! ‘Psychological trauma,’ as the old hunter says it is. :P

Sonic: “Fine then, I’ll admit it, Saitama. When I sensed your power, I was afraid!” Ahh, I like how he confronts his weakness. And is determined to overcome it! Training to control and accept his fear! 8D (and gaining a cute little boar friend for support~) Interesting of note to me, how he’s AFRAID of Saitama’s power. How many other people would be as well? When in contrast, people like Genos, would never be afraid of Saitama.

The hunter’s name…is revealed to be FRANK. Omg dub team, pls.

Sonic: “Hey, Hunter. If you’re defeated before you fight, the results will be the same, no matter how often you try.” And this is neat. How someone could be defeated mentally before even trying. :’) Much truth in these words.

Saitama *randomly pops out of nowhere* “Oh. A bear.” (HIS FACE I CAN’T!) Inadvertently saving the hunter while on the prowl, omg. Settling for the bear for dinner, as the baby boar ran away in fear recognizing his face from Sonic’s wood carvings. XD

*Together, at home* G: “So is this what you would call a ‘bear hotpot,’ Master?” S: “Yeah, you heard those rumors about the giant bear causing all that damage right? *snarfs a bite with blushing cheeks* YUM~” G: “You mean, you can really eat them?” S: “Sure, you can eat most any animal.” G: *takes out notes* “I see!” S: “Oh, a-and I hear wild boar is pretty good too.” G: “I LEARN SO MUCH FROM YOU, MASTER!” (omg, genos pls! this is becoming an ongoing gag line, to have him finish their convos with this level of enthusiasm! XD Also how wary he’d been eyeing the bear food, ahaha.)

OVA4: Bang, who is too overbearing (The excessively pushy Bang)

Bang: “Hm? Genos? Why are they together? Wait, come to think of it *recalls Genos yelling ‘Master!’ during the meteor* Could this be a teacher-student situation? But their rankings are Class S and Class C! So what’s going on?” (WHAT indeed! 8D Also, ‘situation’ changed from ‘relationship’ as in the fansubs)

*At the scene of the dead cabbage monster* S: “What should we have for dinner? I think we’ve got some cabbage left.” G: “Cabbage alone will not be enough. Shall I purchase some meat, Master?” S: “Ugh, what am I supposed to do with you, Genos? (OMG) Now listen! Don’t underestimate cabbage! Stir fried in yakiniku sauce goes great with rice.” G: “Ah! I see, so preparation is what truly dictates the results. Even a powerful weapon can be junk in the hands of the incompetent. Tell me; is that the lesson, Master?!” S: “Uh, I wouldn’t go that far.” G: “YOU TEACH ME SO MUCH, MASTER!” S: “Uaah, all your talk about meat made me wanna eat some! Great, way ta go, man.” Wah! This perspective has them inspired from the monster to eat their cabbage leftovers, rather than say, harvesting ingredients from the monster (no collecting monster parts here). :P Also omfg, but is this whole convo a callback to the second ova? About Genos purchasing meat again (Saitama like ‘oh no you won’t again!’) and indirectly calling himself incompetent (like junk?!) again!? (for failing against the meteor this time) Like GEEZ, the toaster is so hard on himself. :’) But, Saitama there telling him not to go that far. :’D And how casually/fondly Saitama speaks with him now (‘What am I supposed to do with you? Way ta go, man.’) Such good interactions!

Bang, to himself: “Up close he appears to be nothing more than an ordinary guy. Genos looks superior in every way, yet Saitama is guiding him. In terms of Association ranking, Genos is placed much higher, but if Saitama’s mastered a fighting style that surpasses rankings, it’s a different story.” (hohoho, how this summarizes so much! That classic ONE disconnect between appearance, rank and expectations there too) S: “What’s with the weird old guy? He’s gone all quiet.” G: “He is eccentric. Many are like that in Class S.” (Pfft, like…yourself, Genos? ;D And goddammit! Indirectly rude to his face too! XD Well actually, BOTH these dorks are rude to him, hah. They just fukkin get up and leave him – after Saitama asks Genos if he’s ready to go, together.) Bang: “That must mean this Saitama is an all-around outstanding teacher.” (huehue)

Bang: “How ‘bout this, why not stop by my dojo sometime? Might be interesting, what do ya say?” S: “Uh…nah I-I’m good.” G: “Master Saitama is a very busy man.” Bang: “C’mon, don’t be like that. Here, this is the address for my dojo. I’ll be there all day tomorrow.” G: “Did you not hear what I said?! Master is–” S: “Allllright, old man. See ya tomorrow.” G: “Uh! MASTER!” (Heh, Genos trying to defend Saitama, and YET! The ‘yoink’ from Saitama totally surprising him. XD Overprotective toaster, man.)

*later* G: “I thought for certain you were going to stop by the dojo.” S: “Well uh, I’ve learned old dudes like that can be persistent. Humoring them then blowing ‘em off is the only way to avoid big headaches.” Bang: “...He’s so very vulnerable and inexperienced.” *Saitama immediately dives in front of a truck* G: *gawking shock* “!!!! MASTER!!” S: “Thought it was a cat, but it was just a stupid plastic bag. And now all that delicious meat we bought has been run over by a truck and ruined.” OH MANNN!! Although I do prefer the prolonged yell of ‘SENSEIIIII~!!’ in Japanese, Genos is STILL stunned into overprotective shock for Saitama’s safety here. PLS, he JUST witnessed Saitama punch out a meteor! And YET he cannot help this protective instinct when the person he cares about appears *in danger*! XD Does Saitama’s normally ‘soft’ egg face make him appear ‘vulnerable’ to him too, as it does for Bang?!

Bang: (internally: “This changes all of my mental simulations.”) “You two look like you’re in need of some nourishment!” (OMG, this word choice! XD) S: *audibly scoffs* Bang: “Back at my dojo, I have some premium meat that the Martial Arts Association sent over.” (ooh they mentioned this detail here) S: “Ah! What a coincidence! I happen to have a bottle of yakiniku sauce! Where is your dojo?” (ahaha his projected heroic voice!)

Saitama, behind Bang’s introductions: “Ughh, this is such a pain in the ass…” Omg, him audibly complaining and annoyed already, he just wants the meat and to go home!

G: *finished clattering on phone* “Master, I will do it.” S: “You understand all the rules?” G: “I do. The explanation took too long, so I just looked them up.” Genos pls, you’re one to talk!! YOUR explanations take forever too! XD GAWD, these dorks I swear.

S: “All right then! The next hit wins, come get some!!” Omg, Saitama’s so into the game. XD Spirited, competitive and totally a sore loser about it too, buahaha!

Bang: “Maybe now you understand that you’ve had a match. Especially you, Saitama. Before you knew it, you enjoyed taking part in the competition. Otherwise you wouldn’t have gotten so serious. … Martial arts are appealing in this way, a way that you can never get from fighting and physical combat.” G: *with arms raised in the same attentive position as Charanko’s* “He has a point; Master was getting serious.” Ohoho, Genos is super interested the moment Bang says the game enticed Saitama to get serious. Interested in whatever can do THAT to his sensei!

Charanko calls him Bang-sensei! 8D (and not ‘Master’ like Genos)

S: “Whatever, let’s go one more round and finish this! I’m STARVING!” (HAH, Saitama pls!) G: “Master, shall I play you next?” (whoa, there!) S: “Uh-what? Why?” OMG Genos pls. X’D Heh, probably because he wants to challenge and see Saitama get serious against him this time. Like a sparring match of a different kind! ;D

Summary: AHHHHH, gosh!! Pretty much the whole ova was absolute gold, with plenty of prime interactions! (I had to refrain from transcribing every conversation XD) What a riot and so much fun!

OVA5: The sisters with too much going on

LILY!!! And FUBUKI!!! 8D Their voices! Ahhhh <3 ‘Gentle tomboyish’ is how I can best describe Lily’s voice. :P Also notably, the group calls Fubuki, ‘Miss Blizzard.’

Genos, internally: *introduces all the formal info for Fubuki* “But why is she…? Allergies, maybe?” (GENOS PLS, she is crying you fool!) THE LINE: “They are crabs. Crabs for my Master!” (EXACTLY LIKE IN THE SUBS I’M CRYING) Fubuki, internally: ??? “Uuhh, Isn’t this guy from Class S?” (She is horribly confused for their first ever line spoken together! XD Doesn’t even KNOW who his ‘Master’ is too!)

Genos, immediately with no chill or indoor voice: “EVERYONE, EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY! I have been informed there is a bomb on this train! PLEASE HEAD TOWARDS THE EXITS, TIME IS- *suddenly realizes* DAMMIT, they cannot! There is no way for them to escape!” (THIS FOOOOL I CAN’T HANDLE HIM HOLY SHIT X’D)

Genos, to Fubuki: “What is it? You cannot handle it without your underlings?” (HOLY SHIT THIS ASSHOLE xD He doesn’t approve of her style of heroics with rookie crushing, and doesn’t hide the disdain in his voice at all!) Fubuki: “No, I just don’t appreciate being ordered around, ok!?” (Heh, their interactions are off to a great start. :P)

The little Class C hero girl! Swim-chan, ahhh! Blushing in Fubkui’s presence. ;D Fubuki: “Shut up and get it together! All that whining’s not gonna change anything! Calm down and prepare yourself.” :’)))) Fubuki, doubly hard on herself while she lectures the girl (girl still blushing getting ordered around, heh). Speaking from experience and her OWN issues with inadequacy compared to her sister. Ahhh, my girl. <3

Genos, with extreme strained grunting holding the front of the ramming train: “YES!” (LOL, does this remind you of anything? ;D) Tatsumaki: “Outta the way~!”

Waaah, Fubuki responds to her sister’s quip, ‘why didn’t you just get off of that thing?’ with a ‘none of your business, is it?’ :’)))) Fubuki still has her PRIDE and sense of duty, man!! Aughh! She’s so upset her sister smothered her attempt to shine all over again! Can really feel sentimental for her. <3

Swim-chan comes to personally thank and express her gratitude to Fubuki for saving her. :’) Expressing her ongoing doubts of even continuing to be a hero (Fubuki can totally relate, always being in her sister’s shadow), but has gained renewed inspiration and strength from Fubuki today! :’DD Ahhh, so good! Both of them, uplifting each other to never give up!

*Naked, at the LAB* Genos: “Dr. Kuseno. Beyond strength, speed, range. I now know there is another type of power I lack.” Kuseno: “Well this is quite sudden. What is it?” Genos: *intense close up* “SUPERNATURAL.” Kuseno: *turns away* “I’m sorry to say my technology can’t help you with something like that.” Genos: *visibly distraught and pouting* Kuseno: “Must’ve been quite the formidable enemy you were fighting. Tell me, what happened?” Genos: *sulking* “…I utterly failed at shopping! *walks away* If only I possessed supernatural powers, the crabs would not have exploded as they did!” Kuseno: “The poor boy must be tired~” - Saitama, waiting for Genos to come home for dinner: “Sure taking his time, what gives?”

UAHHH!!! This boy I swear!! X’D And poor Kuseno too, totally used to this ‘poor boy’ always running with no chill (and his ridiculous requests). :’D Genos pls….Saitama has all the chill, patiently waiting for you to just come home!

OVA 6: The murder case that was too impossible (The far too impossible case of murder)

Immediately, Child Emperor’s voice, and soon enough, Lightspeed Flash’s voice too! “The answer to that is none of your business.” He sounds…posh and manly, heh. Meanwhile, Saitama and Genos are sitting side by side together in the water, minding their own business. :P

Zombieman’s voice?! It’s kinda…higher than expected. :O Like a young, nasally goody guy? Tank Top Master’s voice too…pretty deep.

PPP: “What a waste of a beautiful boy!!” (omg lol, plus the actor does his lines well btw)

Genos, literally fighting with a child to defend Saitama’s honor: “Hold on. Are you implying that Master Saitama is a suspect?” Child Emperor: *to Saitama* “Well, maybe not with that face.” (OMG no!!! X’D) Genos: “Listen to me! Even if My Master wanted to destroy Zombieman, he would not need weapons, a single punch would– *realizes, internally* Wait a second, if Master wanted to test the validity of Zombieman’s immortality, he might have used a weapon to go easy on him. Unfortunately, that would make sense.” Saitama: *notices Genos staring at him* “Hm?” Genos: *secretly to him* “Easy, Master. Do not worry. I will defend you at your trial.” Saitama: “I! DID NOT! DO IT!” (HOOOOO, it’s the ‘perjury for my sensei’ line! Classic. X’D)

King’s voice!! It’s like, deep and oily? Very ahh, distinct. Totally would not expect considering how his real character is like. Also his ‘King Engine’ here is a literal drum beat! (and not a heartbeat like how it is in the main anime eps)

Tatsumaki: “I know Zombieman doesn’t die when he gets killed!” (HAAAH referencing the ‘people die when they are killed’ meme, I can’t believe this XD) Zombieman: “Honestly it doesn’t bother me. This stuff happens all the time when you drink.” (HE’S SO CHILL OMG WTF. Treating getting stabbed like casual everyday shenanigans. :P) Everyone: “WHAT?!” Saitama: “Nuh-uh. Not at all.” (dude, exactly XD)

*Saitama and Genos, walking home in the sunset together* Saitama: “It was her, huh? The little brat caused all that trouble. You know, you gotta wonder why she’d do something so crazy.” Genos, internally: “…Unfortunately, that is likely your fault, Master.” *flashback* Tatsumaki: *offering Genos her drink* “I’m done~ Here. I just don’t like drinking, it tastes gross.” Saitama: *takes it away from Genos, scolding* “Of course you don’t like doing that! You’re still just a little kid! Stop trying to act so much like an adult, alright? You shouldn’t be drinking to begin with. Little kids should just have orange juice or something!” Tatsumaki: “WHAT!? Listen you–” Saitama: “I’ll go order one for you right now.” Genos, current time, internally: “Tornado’s pride got hurt, so in an act of retaliation, she forced herself to drink more, despite its flavor.” Saitama, beaming: “I gotta say, Genos! That hot spring sure felt great, didn’t it?!” Genos: “YES, MASTER!”

Ahaha! X’D Saitama can only view Tatsumaki as a child! And Genos, withholding such details from Saitama, while making sense of the whole fiasco for the audience. In any case, it’s great to see both our dorks HAPPY, side by side together. :’D

Overall, VERY enjoyable and especially so to see how faithful the dub team kept to their characters, never holding back on the gay at all, either! ;D (what a blessing!) Recommended for anyone to see the ovas again, in this fresh, alternative perspective! (special thanks to @dolltrash-etc for providing me with the links to study these, and showing me bits of her limited dvd release booklet! <333)

#opm #saigenos #english dub #commentary #I HAVE FINISHED AND PROVIDED LINKS WITHIN! 8D #this got way in depth omfg but i have no chill ESPECIALLY with content of our beloved dorks X3

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jaxonkreide · 6 years ago

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no fanfare?? OH MY GOSH SORA SOUNDED SO CUTE LADHJFSHKJFHAS

“well the coliseum is up”

sora when did you get that sass?? I’m loving it

ohh could finally invert those controls

i like it when you walk in the wrong direction and sora is like “huh? why am I going here?”

ohhhhh i like the new world name animation!!

IF IT ISN’T HADES HIMSELF

he came when we called hercules LOL

“Really? Hades?”

“Oh it’s just you”

I’M GONNA CRY HADES IS THE BEST

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh the good old kh2 olympus music!!!!!!!!!! this is so good man

and hades just fucking blew us away “ah yes. I did good.”

“nice work boys! back to the whole cosmic coup thing?”

JGDLHFKLAJS HE’S SO HILARIOUS

ohhhhh maleficent and pete!! And the stupid black box search......

maleficent if like all the kh theorists trying to figure out what’s in the black box

“See? Found him!” omg good way to find Herc

“You literally dropped in!” GLIEUGADHSGLKEHASDJKASKFJHEASK

“H-ster”?!?!?!?! OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT’S SO GOOD MAN

moogle shop!!!

also the save points look really beautiful...

it’s funny that it took 3 main games to get to this part of the movie story lol

OHH MEG CALLED US HEROES!!!

NPC GIRL NEEDS HELPPPPPPP

the first time we see npcs and they need our help of course.....

“is it safe to be thrown around a huge statue?”

TEAM ROCKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!

u better say thank u, you cute little npc girl and hello maleficent!!

PUNY? SORA ISN’T PUNY, PETE!! Yes, just go searching for you black box I’d have kicked your ass otherwise

“pete sayin’ mean things” Oh my gosh. Goofy is in dad mode.

“so how do we get through the blazing fire?” “let’s drive around on my shield!”

also what’s with all these tiny herc statues you can kick around?

i can’t believe they only gave me one item for saving two people........

did I mention that the music is amazing yet???

KID??? I’M NOT A KID!!

omg the water looks so damn nice holy heck

i also like that keyblades disappear again now if you idle for too long. It’s such a nice good detail!

BITCH BE GRATEFUL WE’RE HELPING YOU

anyways I suddenly love using magic

AND BITCH NOW YOU’RE THANKING US??? WE ALREADY SAVED THE WORLD A BUNCHA TIME BITCH!!

hehe destroying statues is fun hehehhee

DESTROYING WHOLE BUILDINGS NOT SO MUCH

THERE’S A LITTLE PHIL STATUE IN T POSE!!!

hmmm herc seems to be a bit stuck there...

OHHHHHHHHH MORE KH2 MUSIC!!!!!!!!!

awww everyone doing as close to the ground as possible and goofy summoning his shield is so cute!!

oh!!! It’s Xigbar!!!

also you get hp fastttt

let’s go beat up hades!!!

oh wow this is the first screen transition damn son! That are some big maps!!

oh my god it’s so nice and green here on the way to olympus

SORA WADING THROUGH THE WATER OH MY GOSH IS THAT ADORABLE!!!

fuck this area is TOO BIG WHAT IS THE WRONG WAY?!?!

TEA TIME!

oh my gosh. There’s apples right next to a cliff and it was so hard to get them!!

and looking down the cliff is a mickey mouse symbol!! Sadly I don’t have the camera yet :(

GELSDHGKIWUSDT THEY ONLY NOW LEARNED THAT HERCS DAD IS ZEUS OMG THREE MAIN GAMES!!!!!!!!!!

sora this only happened like a few hours ago, you don’t need to flashback to that

OH HEY IT’S ROCK TITAN THE MOMENT WE’VE ALL SEEN IN THE TRAILERS

game be like dramatic as fuck. And I’m just sitting here like. Wait. I gotta destroy all the barrels lying around first.

game be like fucking cinematic and put me very close to the enemy

and I just jump down the cliff again, cause I saw a treasure chest LOL

also damn are there many herc and phil figurines here!

ohhhhhhhhh

the rock titan fight is funnnnn

much better than in kh1

tho in kh1 I would always get a ton of tech points................

also i fucking love these rain effects????????

and the occasional fire that lights everything in orange light???? FUcking gorgeous I tell ya’ll

damn you won’t believe how many screenshots I’m taking rn

OH MY GOSH KH1 COLISEUM MUSIC FUCK YESSS

ahhhh so nostalgic

it's nice to see that everything is still the same and I accidentally attack chests instead of opening them with triangle lol

so i just entered a forge

donald “what do you think they make here?” goofy “stuff you make with a forge I suppose”

IUGHELIUGHEAILRFJEA YES THAT’S CORRECT GOOFY

OHHHH I GOT A NEW SHIELD FOR GOOFY IN THE FORGE NICEEEEEE

Ability Unison Fire. “Team up with Donald and roast your foes.”

what are we gonna do insult their fashion sense??

ok that new climbing thing with the shotlock is.... not as intuitive as the rest....

OHHHH AN ELIXIR!!!

TIME TO STORE IT AWAY FOR LATER AND NEVER USE IT!!!

ohhh this looks like boss time!

HELLO HADES!!!!

oh no i never managed to defeat the ice giant in kh1......

oh no the wind titan looks so sad ;n;

i don’t even WANT to defeat him

I just wanna give him hot cocoa and hope he’ll be less sad......

herc just ripping apart the lava stone lol

zeus didn’t do shit... we did all the work with the titans......

bye bye titans!!

bye bye hades!! 18 YEARS INTO THAT PLAN DHGLQKGHALKSHGAKDJS YEAH THAT’S HOW LONG IT’S BEEN SINCE THE FIRST GAME ALMOST

i love hades noises

“the exit is that way”

oh my god I feel so bad for hades. My favorite damn villain :’D

awww sora is so cute :’333

he already has something to fight for with all his heart tho!! Or did he forget about all his friends!!

oh hey!! I finished olympus!!

sdjghsdk and pete is just digging LOL

ALIDVJHAKJHV THEY FOUND A BOX BUT IT’S THE WRONG ONE LDJHGLAKSJHF

what

xigbar?

he was about to say “may your heart be your guiding key” but it cut off beforehand

how does HE KNOW THAT SENTENCE?????????? XIGBAR??????????

anyways here’s where I end this post for now

#rambles of te jaxon #jaxon plays kh3 #long post #it's a bit toooo long so like I'll tag it lol

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daddycalicoo · 7 years ago

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The feeling of you digging deep inside of me. Making my body shake and quiver. The way you continue to go deeper and deeper. You gripping on my thighs and I now know you finna let loose. I scream don't stop and you try to hold it. I instantly get onto my knees waiting to taste you. *Beep Beep Beep Beep* "damn I can't even get off in my dreams" I yelled I got dressed and headed to work. As I walked into my job I noticed the finest human being I've ever laid my eyes on. All I could think was DAMN this MAN is FINNNNNE " Thanks you aren't too bad yourself" He replied. "Excuse Me? Did I say that out loud?? " I asked confused "Yes" He laughs I quickly walked off very embarresed of what happened. As I got to my seat at the front desk. I took my jacket off and started working. My annoying coworker walks up to me and tries to start a conversation with me. "Destiny, Have you met the new Team Manager? He's quite the looker." She asked. "Girl No, I never cared about our old one, why would I with the new one? I said. As soon as it came out my mouth. I heard a slight chuckle.... "Is that right Ms.Destiny? Could I meet you in my office real quick." He firmly stated I quickly got up and followed him into his office. Even tho I know I'm supposed to be just focusing on my why I'm in this office. I couldn't keep my eyes off his perfect shaped body, His dark brown eyes or his freshly tapered fade. Everything about this man was just calling me to sit on his face. I couldn't even deny it if I wanted to. " Is that so, well come sit on it" He said My eyes widened "Excuse me" I got the courage to finally speak. "You said everything about me was calling you to sit on my face. Why don't you come sit on it. Don't be scared. I don't bite unless thats what you like". I felt as if i was dreaming. He locked his door and started walking towards me. He picked me up and placed me on his desk. He gently started to rub agasint my vagina. I felt the heat rise. I started moaning and grinding slowly onto him. " Don't, lemme taste her first" was all he said before he started to devour my golden spot. He started to lick and nibble on my clit. I felt so much heat and yet so powerful. I tried to stop him but he grabbed my hands and held them down as he kept devouring me. "Let me taste you too" was all I could force outta my mouth. "No" He sternly said before going back down on me. After 20 mins of me cumming all over his face he finally decided to stop. " I want you, please don't leave me like this. I need to you inside of me" I begged. "Oh word, how bad baby?? He questioned. " This bad" as I finished my sentence I decided to go down on him. When I finally got his package out it was still growing in my hand. It looked so delicious I couldn't wait to taste him. I started off slow simply just licking his shaft and sucking on his head. I felt his veins popping out as If he was going to bust. At that moment I decided to take it all in my mouth. Gagging and spitting all over his dick. "Fuck" he moaned. His moans gave me motivation that I was doing something right. I started jerking him off while licking on his balls. "GET UP and get that ass in the air" He said I did exactly what he told me to do. He slowly slid himself inside of me. I felt as if I was going to tear in half but I didn't care. He started to stroke real slow so that I could feel it all. It got to the point I wanted him to fuck the living shit out of me. " Fuck me daddy! Punish me!!!!" I yelled As i spoke those words he started to drill inside of me. I couldn't feel him in my stomach. " Nut on this big dick baby, show daddy this pussy his" he moaned out. He started to grind and dig deeper in me. I started to feel like I had to piss. "Wait, wait baby. I got to pee. I gotta pee!" I said "No you don't just push it out" He replied I felt so much pressure but the pressure started to turn into pleasure. I felt as if I was close to heaven gates. Then i felt hot liquid gushing out of me. " Oh FUCK I'm cummmmmmmming dadddy" I started to yell.... I started shaking uncontrolably. "Here I Cum, where Can i nut baby?? He asked " In my mouth" I got on my knees and started to suck his dick while his semen was being swallowed. It took us a couple of minutes to get ourselves together. Once we were dressed he looked at me and winked "This will be very fun working with you Ms.Destiny. You are good to go now" He simply said then begin to type on his computer. Guys I know I have some grammatical errors. Sorry for that but I hope you guys are enjoying this as much as I am writing it. I would really appreciate if I could get some feedback from some of you guys.

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oceans-of-stories · 8 years ago

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100 questions with Felix

//bc sleep is for the weak when there’s questionnaires to answer incharacter

1. What is your full name? Do you have a nickname? Felix Bartholomew Bendixen! M’sis calls me Filly.

2. How old are you? When is your birthday? 25 summers, m’fraid! M’birthday? Uhm... 12th Sun of the 3rd Umbral Moon. W’ew.

3. Where were you born? Where do you live now? Are you patriotic? Gridania...n’gridania. I don’t know ‘xactly, ta be honest. As for patriotic? Eh.

4. Who are/were your parents? (Names, occupations, personalities, etc.) M’blood mum and pop ain’t ‘round. M’not entirely sure what ‘appened t’ere, but that ain’t no biggie. We were adopted b’a fella named Oswald. He...ain’t too great’o’a guy. I’d say his job is wastin’ gil.

5. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like? Polly! She’s my sis. She is sick, but she deal wit it pretty well. She’s real nice.

6. What is your occupation? M’a crafter. I make stuff. Ya need somethin’?

7. How tall are you? How much do you weigh? Eh...tall ‘nough. N’I weigh ‘nough too. (5′0″ and 140 lbs)

8. What color is your hair? What color are your eyes? Yella! Like a sunflower. N’my eyes? Green. I like ‘em.

9. What is your race? Miqo'te, Keeper, I guess.

10. To which social class do you belong? Eh? I mean I ain’t got much money if t’ats what ya’re askin’. M’a merchant?

11. Do you consider yourself to be attractive? Do others? Haha...eh, maybe? M’pretty handsome, yeh? Tho’ for others...I unno, I ain’t got time for t’at.

12. What is your style of dress? Whateva’ won’t catch on fire while workin’.

13. Do you have any scars? Tattoos? Birthmarks? Other unique physical features? Eh...I got a few scars on m’back from when I was a kid, it ain’t nothin’ too special. M’parents weren’t t’nicest people, if t’ats what ya’re wonderin’.

Other t’en t’at, eh, just m’marks on me face and a few freckles!

14. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? Polly says m’t’ strongest man she knows! Nothin’ ‘ere!

15. Are you right- or left-handed? Both hands work well, yeah!

16. What does your voice sound like? Japanese: Koji Tsujitani English: Crispin Freeman

17. What kind of vocabulary do you use? EH? Wat is t’at suppose ta mean? Ya mean big words? I ain’t no good wit big words.

18. List three quirks or other defining characteristics. I wiggle me ears a lot! N’my tail. Other t’en t’at.... (his accent)

19. How often do you bathe? Do you wear perfumes? I try every day but t’at is sometimes hard. Really depends on how much Polly says I stink!

20. What kind of facial expression do you commonly wear (dour glare, wry smile, etc)? Big ol’ grin! Yepper! No use in livin if ya can’t smile!

21. Do you use body language? How? Me ears’n’ tail! Yeppers! And a whole lot of hand wiggly, yeppers.

22. Do you have a commonly used saying? Eh....

Childhood

23. What is your earliest memory? I ain’t rememberin’ faces well, but when I was young I ‘member gettin’ beat ta shreads’n’back in place of Polly. I tink she dropped somethin’, broke it, and eh...yeah, t’ats why we ain’t real tight wit’ our real parents.

24. How much schooling have you had? Did you enjoy it? Some trade schoolin’, ta learn how ta write’n’sew’n’all t’at other junk I need ta know.

25. Where did you learn most of your knowledge and skill? M’pops, Ozzy, and uh...some other’ folks who were kind ‘nough ta let me apprentice under ‘em.

26. How would you describe your childhood in general? ...Rough.

27. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted ta be a pilot. Ya know, of t’ose fancy air ships.

28. When and with whom was your first kiss? Eh...heh, well, t’ats kinda silly ting ta ask. When I was lil’ t’ere was a gal I liked t’at kissed m’cheek. Does t’at count?

29. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity? Sure forward, aren’t ya? (Gotta make money somehow...and you don’t particularly learn those people’s names, huh)

30. Do you have a notorious or celebrated ancestor? Does that affect you? ...Ozzy uh...he owes a lot’o’money everywhere it seems.

Influences

31. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? Gettin’ adopted. Yeah! Was nice at first.

32. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Gettin’ ta stay with Polly for as long as we have...

33. What is your greatest regret? Regret is a waste’o’time, m’fraid.

34. What is the most embarrassing or shameful thing ever to happen to you? Haha...uh... (More than once being made fun of for his ratty clothes as a kid)

35. Do you have any secrets? If so, what are they? I ain’t one to keep secrets. (Selling himself for money to get by)

36. What is the most evil thing you have ever done? Depends on what ya mean ‘evil’. I’ve done pretty bad tings ta keep food in our bellies once or twice.

37. When was the time you were the most frightened? T’last time Polly got real sick. I mean, she’s _always_ sick, but I mean t’time when she was serious sick. I dunno what I’d do witout ‘er.

38. Have you ever traveled outside of your country? If so, to where? I’ve delivered ta different places. M’not too good at names tho.

Beliefs

39. What is your alignment? EH? (lawful neutral)

40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? Haha, optimistic! Ya gotta believe in t’luck!

41. Do you believe in a god? If so, which one and why? Nah, no. No god would let t’tings that have happened happen.

42. Do you believe in an afterlife? M-maybe.

43. What is your greatest fear? Bein’ left alone. (Paula dying)

44. What makes you angry? Sad? Happy? Why? When people take advantage of others. Cuz well, I’ve been on t’bad end of that deal more t’en once.

45. Do you think people are basically good or basically evil? Nah, everyone has good n’tem if they look deep enough.

46. What are your views on politics? Religion? Sex? Politics ain’t somethin’ ta waste my time on. Same wit religion. Sex? Eh...well, its a ting. T’at ‘appens.

47. What are your views on gambling, lying, theft, and killing? Gamblin’ is t’worst t’ing in t’world t’at appened ta me and Polly. Killin’...well, t’ats just as bad, too.

48. How far will you go to defend your beliefs? S’what m’made of, yah? So pretty dang far.

49. How much do you value money? We ain’t got much of it. S...so yeah, its nice ta have. I wish we ‘ad more. A lot more...

50. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? Hurt kids.

51. Do you believe in self-sacrifice for the greater good? Yeah. M’mean...at t’least it’ll hep ya’re karma, yeah? Ya should always do whatcha can for others.

52. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? M-m-maybe.

53. Are you superstitious? M’I afraid of ghosts? Y-yes.

54. How much do you respect the beliefs and opinions of others? So long as it ain’t hurtin’ me, why care?

55. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings? M’honest when it comes ta not hurtin’ anyone else. (He hides a lot from Paula...)

56. Do you have any biases or prejudices? I ain’t a fan of rich folks. Usually t’ey get their cash takin’ advantage of t’lil folks.

Dealing With Others

57. Who is the most important person in your life, and why? Paula. She’s m’north star, my polaris. I unno what I’d do witout ‘er. She’s...t’only family I got.

58. Who is the person you respect the most? Despise the most? Why? M’prolly respect Polly t’most. Strongest gal I know. N’...I ain’t a fan of my pops, nah. He’s...not a swell guy.

59. Do you have a significant other? Who? Nah. Unless ya count Polly.

60. Do you have a lot of friends? Who is your best friend? Ehm...nah. Not really. Ain’t got time for much friends, or t’ey tink m’a downer. Their loss!

61. How do you relate to members of the same race? Class? Sex? I unno, not bein’ raised by my real folks made it kinda hard ta figure out t’ings. N’dudes around ‘ere ain’t knowin’ how ta treat a lady right. It’s a damn shame.

62. How do you relate to members of a different race? Class? Sex? Eh...t’ey ain’t too different from me, so who cares? N’ladies...I ain’t good at talkin’ to ladies...

63. Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened. T’at is embarassin! I mean, yeah! But she ain’t returnin’ t’feelings. So...t’ats tat.

64. What do you look for in a potential lover? Eyes. I know t’at sounds funny but...someone wit eyes. Not just perty eyes, nah, the kind that knows beauty when t’ey see em. I...got a ting for artists, haha...

65. How close are you to your family? Just Polly! She’s t’best.

66. Do you want a marriage, family, and/or children? Maybe someday. I tink I would make a good pop, yeah?

67. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? I ain’t one for conflict. Even t’mean chocobos I give a wide birth ta.

68. Are you a listener or a talker? A bit of both? I mean I can tell a yarn or two if need be but lemme listen.

69. How long does it usually take for you to trust others? Eh...long ‘nough I suppose. T’only person I’d trust wit my life though...Polly.

70. Do you hold grudges? Nah, no. People can change in a drop of a hat. T’ere’s only one person t’at I’d say I gotta grudge for.

71. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? N-no! I’m no leader.

72. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Eh...no. Makes me nervous.

73. How well do you express yourself? Eh? Well I do show off my skills a lot! So I say pretty dang well?

74. How quickly do you judge others? Eh...not too quickly, I’d hope. T’most grumbly fella can have a heart’o’gold.

75. Do you care what others think of you? Mmm...kinda. I mean, m’name is kinda my business right now. Sooo...gotta keep up ta good work!

76. Do you have any enemies? How or why are they your enemy? Just...one fella. My pops. He’s uh...well, not too many savory people are after ‘em. For good reason. He put t’family in debt after m’mom died. Adoptive, both, yeah, but...m’working as hard as I can ta dig us outta debt and still keep gettin’ Polly ‘er meds. Ain’t easy, nah.

Personal Taste and Opinions

77. What is your favorite pastime? Color? Food? Possession? I like feedin’ chocobos. And uh...mmm...Odd as it is, I like sewin. I ain’t good at t’minitare sorts of stuff, t’hard stuff, but makin’ meself a new hat? Love that. As for possession...m’goggles. Even if t’ere from Ozzy...I’ve had ‘em forever. N’food? Anyting sweet!

78. What are your preferences in arts and/or entertainment? Mmm...Polly likes ta cute stuff, so I suppose I do too!

79. Do you smoke, drink, go whoring, or use drugs? Why or why not?. Uh...nah. Been on the oter side of tings and uh...nah. Nope.

80. How do you spend a typical Saturday night? Makin’ sometin! Or lookin’ for materials.

81. What is your most cherished fantasy? Mmm...Polly gettin’ better.

82. How long is your attention span? Eh? What?

83. Do you laugh a lot? What do you find funny? Yeah! Polly says I laugh too much sometimes, maybe she’s right. But eh...I like watchin’ kids. Not like...the weird way but, just t’way tey act is cute and funny at times.

84. Is there anything that shocks or offends you? If so, what? I ain’t a fan of swearin’ too much. When a lady does...it’s pretty craaazy.

85. How do you deal with stress? I make somethin’. I just...put on me goggles and get ta work.

86. How much athletic ability do you have? Artistic? I’m not much of a fighter, but I would say m’pretty dang artistic in the creative department, yepperooni.

87. Do you like animals? Do you like children? Yep and yep! M’a big fan of both.

88. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan? Aaaa little bit of t’at, a little bit of t’is.

89. What are your pet peeves? People not taken care of t’emselves or t’eir tings properly. I mean...takes a lot of effort ta make tose tings, and a lot of effort ta make you you. Yeah?

Self-Image

90. What is your greatest strength as a person? Weakness? I’d like ta say m’ pretty loyal. Hecka loyal. Ya get me on your side, n I would be a ringer in ya’re fight anytime. Other t’en that...I’m pretty bad at cookin’. Try as I might, haha. Or I guess I wear m’heart on m’sleeve, t’ats what some peeps say. I unno if t’at is true or not.

91. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? M’height. Yeah, m’short. Pretty short. People are kinda rude bout it from time to time. It’d be neat if I could grow like...two feet, yeah. N’tower over everyone else! ...cept for tose giants.

92. Are you generally introverted or extroverted? Extraverted, I tink. I mean, I gotta be as a sales guy.

93. Do you like yourself? Yeah! If I didn’t, I’d change it, yah!

94. Do you have a daily routine? How do you feel if your day is interrupted? Mm...t’only ting I have as a constant is wakin’ up ta Polly cookin’ breakfast. Usually its toast’n’eggs. She makes me lunch too! But other t’en tat its a real toss up what m’doing. Usually workin. When it hits eight or so I head home, take a bath, n’ten get some shut eye.

95. What goal do you most want to accomplish in the next six months? Your lifetime? Gettin’ Polly ta smile for realsies, none of t’at fake smiles she gives me in t’mornin’. And other t’en that...it’d be nice ta get a smile or two from some pretty ladies.

96. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years? M’aybe avin’ one of my own shops. Marriage? Eh. Kiddos would be nice. Its hard ta see that far in ta future, tho, especially when none of t’at stuff is really in motion.

97. If you could choose, how would you want to die? Eh, I ain’t one for melodramatics, but if m’gonna croak, I wanna go out wit a bang. Savin’ someone or doin’ somethin’ brave.

98. What is the one thing you would like to be remembered for after your death? M’work. T’at or goin’ out wit a bang, I hopes.

99. What three words would you use to best describe your personality? Suave, yeah? (no) Gen-you-wine. N’funny.

100. What three words would others probably use to describe you? Faithful, em...Creative! And uhhh...Handsome. Yepperooni.

101. Why are you risking your life to adventure? Polly. She’s all I got.

#about

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