#+ references to the growth of my blog over these past years xD

[jessamine-rose]

Profile # ██ : Jessamine Rose

“Perhaps someday, I will finally remember how to cry.” -Jessamine Rose, **/**/**

Name: Jessamine Rose

Species: Fallen Angel/ Demon

Gender: Female

Age: Unknown

World: Jessamine’s Blog (current), ███ (former/ original)

Status: Alive, active since 2020

✿ BACKGROUND ✿

Note: The following information has been gathered from the ****’s observations and interactions with Jessamine. Few records of her existence can be found in ███, and the angels and demons from her world refuse to disclose any additional information.

Jessamine Rose is a former angel created by the God of ███. Once a nameless deity, she served her God for an undisclosed amount of time, but was never allowed to venture out of Heaven or interact with God’s other creations.

The earliest record of “Jessamine Rose” dates back to **/**/**, in which she is described as a demon whom God had recently cast out of Heaven. Jessamine claims that it was a punishment for exploring Earth and attempting to learn the Gift of Creation. Her name is derived from the flower garden which enticed her to leave Heaven for the first time.

Following her banishment, Jessamine spent years roaming the Earth and Hell of her world. In addition to developing her individuality, she discovered the existence of multiple worlds and universes beyond ███. In 2020, she found a way to leave her world and travel within the multiverse. Since then, she has been spotted in numerous worlds.

Jessamine exhibits the physical traits commonly associated with her species, namely a small pair of wings and horns. She is capable of hiding either or both features to disguise herself as a human, angel, or demon. During her first **** checkup, Jessamine stated that her species remains a source of inner conflict for her, as she never “fit in” with her fellow angels nor demons. She is still trying to make peace with her identity as a fallen angel/ demon.

Jessamine’s powers are relatively unknown. As of now, she poses little threat to the multiverse.

✿ JESSAMINE’S BLOG + OTHER WORLDS ✿

Since 2020, Jessamine has traveled to the following worlds: Obey Me!, Twisted Wonderland, Genshin Impact, What in Hell is Bad? and the “Blogs”/ worlds of her fellow writers. She prefers to act as a spectator, watching the lives of each world’s inhabitants from a distance. At most, she has indirectly used her demonic influence to aid “MCs” in their choices.

Since late 2023, Jessamine has been frequently spotted in What in Hell is Bad? She explains that this particular world, similar to Obey Me!, provided her with helpful insight into the different cultures of the angels and demons beyond ███.

Since leaving her original world, Jessamine has resided in her own world known as Jessamine’s Blog. Initially a flower garden, it was later “revamped” into an endless realm of colorful skies. It is easy to find the house where she lives. Visitors are permitted so long as they follow her rules and treat her with basic decency.

✿ STORIES AND GIFT OF CREATION ✿

Jessamine’s hobby is to write fictional stories inspired by the people and events of other worlds. Her stories mainly include themes of romance, yandere, dark content, and psychology. While/ After a story is written, she brings it to “life” via the Gift of Creation, albeit an incomplete version of the divine process. This is manifested in her physical use of handcrafted dolls and dollhouses.

Dolls are the characters of her stories. Once its story ends, time “freezes” for the doll and only continues once Jessamine resumes playing with it for a new story. They are classified into three categories: Canon Characters, MCs, and Darlings.

Dollhouses are miniature replicas of the worlds Jessamine has visited. Each dollhouse serves the setting for Jessamine’s stories—outside of it, a doll cannot come to life. Dollhouses can range from houses to interconnected structures. Examples include the House of Lamentation, Night Raven College, the regions of Teyvat¹, and the offices of Celestia Inc.² Original dollhouses are created for the purpose of AUs. 

Jessamine finds entertainment in subjecting her dolls, especially the Darlings, to twisted stories and emotions. Because of her limited grasp of the Gift of Creation, her dolls cannot think or act independently from their stories. One may interpret this hobby as her way of “playing god” and expressing her creativity.

¹ Four of the Genshin Impact dollhouses are connected to form a shared universe.

² The Celestia Inc. offices are from Navina/ @throw-letter-away’s One Last Call AU.

✿ CANON CHARACTERS ✿

Canon Characters are Jessamine’s depictions of people from other worlds. Jessamine creates them by observing real individuals, taking note of their personal characteristics, and making dolls in their likeness. Another trait which distinguishes Canon Characters from other dolls is the presence of ███ Dust in their stuffing.

Because they are separate beings from their real-life counterparts, Canon Characters may act in an “out-of-character” manner.³ This is especially true for those written as yanderes. Jessamine is very selective about the Canon Characters she writes about.

A special case is Navina’s OC “Boss”/ Alexander ████████. Jessamine usually consults with Boss’s creator to confirm that her portrayal of him is in-character. She and Navina are currently co-writing Boss x Friend! Darling’s story.

³ Presently, the biggest instance of OOC/ canon-divergence is the Segments of Il Dottore. When Jessamine wrote his story, the origins of his Segments were not yet disclosed.

✿ MCS ✿

MCs, similar to Canon Characters, are modeled after specific individuals from other worlds. An MC is identified as a “blank slate/ self-insert” with connections to several Canon Characters, hence their roles as the protagonists in Jessamine’s stories.

MCs have plain stuffing and less developed personalities. Jessamine does not play with them often, citing her greater fondness for her Darlings.

♡ Yuki - Master of the Seven Rulers of Hell from Obey Me!

♡ Ÿ̸̧̭́̄̚u̸̡̠̪͕͎̒̉ü̵̡̢̙̹̯͂͑́ - Prefect of Twisted Wonderland

Jessamine used to play with Yuu often. In the past, their doll physically resembled Jessamine and was entirely stuffed with feathers. In 2022, however, Jessamine lost interest in “selfships,” changed Yuu’s appearance, and removed all of her feathers from their stuffing.

♡ Ra-On - Solomon’s descendant from What in Hell is Bad?

♡ ??

Used for Jessamine’s Genshin Impact stories in place of the Traveler. ?? is technically not an MC, but is also too “self-insert-friendly” to be considered a Darling. They have been paired with Neuvillette and La Signora.

✿ DARLINGS ✿

Darlings are Jessamine’s Original Characters created for specific Yandere! Canon Characters. Each Darling has her own unique name, personality, lore, and dynamic with her respective love interest. They are filled with a combination of plain stuffing and feathers.

Feathers are sourced from Jessamine’s wings. Each feather is imbued with one of her personal traits—be it her hobbies, memories, or idiosyncrasies. Jessamine alters the feathers and uses only a small amount, so as to distinguish each Darling from her own self.⁴

♡ Eveline - Damsel - Il Capitano’s darling

Jessamine’s first Darling. She inherited her creator’s affinity for flowers, books, and fairytales to a magnified extent. Jessamine has a soft spot for her and Capitano.

♡ 赖莹霞 Lài Yíngxiá - Kitty - Pantalone’s darling

The only Darling with animal traits. She inherited her creator’s interest in fashion. Jessamine is fond of playing dress-up with her doll, and even redesigned her at one point.

♡ Seira - Assistant - Il Dottore’s darling

The Darling with the most feathers, owing to Jessamine’s academic struggles. Because her story is more plot-driven, she has the least personal lore.

♡ Asteria - Savior - Pierro’s darling

The most powerful Darling in terms of divine abilities. Jessamine regards her story as an “interesting” exploration of grief, given how much Asteria’s grief differs from her own.

♡ Mariko - Doll - Wanderer’s darling

The previous ??, created for Wanderer. After writing their story, Jessamine considered promoting Mariko to a Darling for a prequel. However, she lost interest in that idea.

Mariko would have been the most innocent Darling. Her doll’s outfit combines elements of the Japanese kimono and the Russian court dress.

♡ Lilith Yu/ 楊玫谦 - Friend - Boss’s darling

Jessamine’s newest Darling, created for the sole purpose of toying with Boss. She is the most “difficult” Darling due to her high levels of confidence and disillusionment with love.

Lilith was created under special circumstances, as her story began before her backstory and dollhouse were finalized. She is of Liyue descent, a Fontainian citizen by birth.

♡ Victoire - Devotee - Arlecchino’s darling

Created for Church AU. Her doll wears a nun’s habit and a cross necklace. She was inspired by her creator’s past religious struggles.

♡ ???

Information remains confidential.

⁴ Jessamine is not comfortable with sharing the details of her Darlings’ feathers, so she asks that visitors refrain from speculations and inquiries. Please respect her privacy.

♡ LAST REPORT: 06/04/24 ♡

-focused on her Yandere Church AU

-having lots of fun with her mutuals <3

“Ah, a shooting star! It’s time to make a wish~”

[tobns]

i’ve been doing a lot of retrospection and digging pretty deeply inside myself over the last few days about the last five and a quarter years on here and i just wanted to...i dunno, spill? you don’t have to read this at all, by any means, but this is my blog and i post what i want to at the end of the day so yep

for some reason i’ve just been like...diving back into a lot of my old stuff as of lately? i'm talking like, thg era here (and if you have been around long enough to know what i am referring to, then my god you deserve an award) and i'm just like, realizing how kinda obnoxious i was, lmao??? back in the day i never really "gave out my age" because i liked having that card, i liked having a tiny bit of anonymity since i pretty much shared my WHOLE life on here, and now i just like openly advertise it because really what else do i have to lose at this poin, and i think some of you were incredibly gracious in upping my age when you'd guess - i was fourteen, and i was having such a wonderful life going on in the real world and i still felt kinda empty, so as any wise fourteen year old would, i turned to the internet

genius, em, really

but yeah, i was fourteen and kinda lonely and so when people showed me and what i enjoyed a little attention, i kinda ran off the deep end with it? i look back now at nineteen and i see some of the stuff i said, the way i'd react to things, my mannerisms, my decisions, even my excessive use of the unicode heart and 'xD' and 'hahahahahaha' and i realize i so did not need a lot of what i got on here, attention-wise? like, you wonder why child stars "Go Crazy" and then you look back, at nineteen, and you see what happens when someone gives your fourteen year old self ANY sort of audience and it's just like...nooooo!!!!! 

and then it moves back even further to the point where it's like, well, what was i looking at when i was fourteen, maybe even before that and first got on the internet?

and i started reflecting on the fact that internet culture has rapidly, rapidly changed SO much over the last several years alone; forget about me posting hella cringe stories and songs and reacting to “haters” the way i did, i realize that i saw a lot of things i saw other people get away with and i was like "psh, oh yeah, i can do that!" and i couldn't, whether it was acting/reacting a certain way or doing something, etc., and i look back now and i like want to completely burn myself off the face of the earth for doing it but at the time, i don't think i really knew any better, i guess?? no one had told the people i'd been inspired by that what they'd been doing was wrong, and so i was under the impression i could do it too and not come under heavy fire, and once again, it all comes back to the fact that there are impressionable, YOUNG kids on this website who SEE!! WHAT YOU DO!!! AND THEY WILL MIMIC THAT!!! AND WE FORGET THAT THERE ARE YOUNGER PEOPLE WHO FOLLOW US!! AND IT'S JUST A CYCLE!!! 

and with today's internet culture, there is no such thing as making a tiny mistake - if you mess up, no one is going to say, "hey, listen, whether you know this or not, you did something that's not okay and this is WHY it isn't okay", if you mess up or do something wrong, you're shamed off the internet. and yeah, there are some cases where people DO know better! and they probably deserve to be shamed out of a community! but i also think about me at fourteen and fifteen, an IMPRESSIONABLE YOUNG ADULT who was incredibly sheltered as a kid and the internet was a whole new world and what i saw by the people i kept up with, i was like okay!! this is cool and acceptable!!! and when i had people coming for my ass i didn't really understand WHY because i was like....other people do it?? no one told THEM it was wrong??? and over time, i came to put two and two together and was like alright just because someone else does something and people accept it then, little em, doesn't mean it's okay or right

and of course times have changed and internet culture is so so so much different now, but i think it is still important to remember that while a lot of us have grown and learned and are educated BECAUSE we have been here for a long time and we've seen the psa posts and the educational reblogs, there are a lot of young ass people who are signing up on tumblr dot com for the first time, and they doN'T !! KNOW!!! the internet is meant to connect the world, and there are countless corners of the world where people are raised differently and learn different things and when you step into this madness for the VERY first time, it's overwhelming as fuck and i think a large part of internet culture has rapidly turned into, well, fuck the principle of education, if you get something wrong then you're just going to be berated forever and for some people, like myself, that worked, that helped us learn, but for some people, yelling and shaming them isn't how they learn from their mistakes, and i think internet culture can be SO goddamn negative when i look cross-platform because i just rarely ever see us being nice to one another, AND IT ALL COMES BACK TO THAT IS WHAT THESE KIDS WHO ARE USING THE INTERNET FOR THE FIRST TIME SEE AND THEY THINK IT'S ACCEPTABLE EVEN IF IT MAY NOT BE AND THAT’S WHY A LOT OF THIS GENERATION’S YOUNGER KIDS ARE ASSHOLES (cough jake paul)

so yeah: as a young person who was on the internet and for SOME REASON had an audience like she did, i think it's important for me to say as an old(er) person who no longer has a lot of that audience (that i know of) and has grown to see the error in a lot of her ways and is giving a mass apology for all the stuff i did that i left untied here and now - i was an obnoxious kid 89% of the time on here, i said stupid shit, i did stupid shit, and i want to make peace that i fucked up, but everyone does. i rightfully got flack for my mistakes on here, i rightfully got put in my place many of times, and as a nineteen year old, i GET IT. fourteen year old me didn't, but me five years later DOES. because i look at who i am now, and i now know what it is i believe in and stand for, what i speak up and out against, what i let fly in my life and what i don't, what kind of PEOPLE i want in my life and what kind of people i want to stay away from, what kind of impact i’m making on the world and on the people around me, what kind of person i'm on the road to being, and i am proud of her. mistakes are how we learn if we choose to learn from them, and when we live in resentment and beat ourselves up for being morons in the past (like i do), all we do is disservice ourselves. and i'm kinda tired of disservicing me, because tbh i'm proud of who i've become, mistakes and cringy stories and all

and that's why i love growth and turning over new leaves. #learn to let go in life lmao