#+ it's harder for ppl like me who havent been as badly hurt to rly empathize w someone acting selfishly and making big mistakes
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right but like the thing is forgiveness =/= continued association. i can forgive AND 'forget' (not dwell on it) and move on like bye bye ur not for me no more. in fact i think that's almost the only way *to* truly get over someone lol. like u cant flat out leave someone in the dust unless u rly accept what they did, accept their remorse, and put it behind both of u. idk if im in love w the whole attitude of like no some ppl shouldnt be forgiven ever >:C like wat good does it rly do to hold that bitterness within u?
#and that doesnt mean the trust isnt broken or that bad behavior doesnt have consequences it just means#that u rly dont know what the future holds and u cant write off the possibility of someone changing or rebuilding that trust in time#and ultimately i think that showing someone mercy while still acknowledging their wrongs affects more change than like#reinforcing this bizarre ideation that mistakes are permanent and no one can regret what theyve done and grow#idk personally i think.. none of us are perfect? and all of us are hurt.. and hurt others in turn.#+ it's harder for ppl like me who havent been as badly hurt to rly empathize w someone acting selfishly and making big mistakes#bc i cant imagine myself acting in that way and cant rly understand how they can#but i still realize that.. if things had gone differently n i was dealt a worse hand in life.. ofc i would have it in me to do that.#and it's precisely that attitude of bitterness and unforgiveness that CAUSES u to hurt others in reaction so#ur just perpetuating that cycle of hate and evil by not acknowledging both their ability to change and (inherently) ur own#[ok but disclaimer all of this is assuming that they are actually remorseful and regret what they did and acknowledge it and apologize]#[bc forgiveness is only available w apology obviously if they dont think theres anything to forgive u cant forgive them of it]#[and they will never change if they dont think its something that needs to be changed]
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