#+ we need the entire team to go over ur 2 apps <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[westeroslive]

@crvwncd

as  night  comes  and  the  castle  doors  open  wide  we  ask  you  welcome  and  offer  greetings  to  our  newest  noble  and  pray  the  gods  watch  over  them  as  they  enter  into  the  keep,   for  hell  is  empty  and  all  the  devils  are  here.

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 10

‘less weird hairs,’ pics of me, real life questions, seasons thoughts, kpop stuff, ‘are you a boy’ erhdfnv, tutorial questions, edits, ‘safe’ cc, and umm yeah never go camping in the actual woods ok

Anonymous said: Can you do Less weird hair? I Like how good Mesh You make but all styles look Really Weird I never Would use them. I just want Usual hair? Thanks you            

Firstly, thank you for the meshing compliment, but tbh I think I make pretty simple hair styles? Like I don’t do many crazy things especially recently? Idk, I hope you like some of my hairs and can find something that fits in your liking :/

Anonymous said: Hi I really love you content and I was wondering if you’d ever do a “goddess locs” hairstyle?            

Ok I am gonna be super straight forward about this, making hairstyles like this is really challenging for me. I have tried a ton of times and I just can’t get the meshes to work out the way I like. UV mapping is a pain in the ass, making the hairline match well, and making sure none of the mesh strands are broken is next to impossible for me. Most creators that make hairstyles like this do them from scratch or spend a long time working on them for them to look right. I’m not saying ‘no’ because I am going to try to play around with some seasons meshes (I have hair ideas) but no promises :(

Anonymous said: BLACKPINK COMEBACK

i know omg jennie snapped, I wasn’t planning on buying the physical album but I ended up caving in and getting the pink versions ;-; I hope I get Jennie or Lisa photocards

Anonymous said: i know your theme is by gukthemes, but what is it called?            

PAPILLON by GUKTHEMES

Anonymous said: Are you ever gonna do a face reveal?

I have posted a pic of myself before in one of these ask posts, here are three more from the past few months :P

Anonymous said: Fav kpop group(s)???            

1). LOONA (bias Kim Lip) 2). BLACKPINK (bias Jennie) 3). RED VELVET (bias Joy) 4). CLC (bias Yeeun) 5). DREAMCATCHER (idk their names but the rapper)

Anonymous said: You play pokemon go still?

Yes! I collected cards/figures growing up and watched the show before school every morning. I’m not a ‘game’ fan but the mobile app is fun. Actually I played the Wii U Pokemon tournament game but it was boring so :/

Anonymous said: are you going to buy seasons? do you think it is worth it?

I got it from CDkeys for $25 lmao, so yes :P I can’t run the live mode so I kind of am just getting it for the new CAS assets :/ but I think the pack looks really good. Everyone always says ‘it looks like the best EP so far’ every time something new comes out so I’m not gonna say that but we will see :D

Anonymous said: whats ur skin blend called?            

Fruitpunch! You can get it here

Anonymous said: when are you going to be done camping?

I am back home now lmao I assume you sent this when I posted about not having service there :P but I was camping for 3 days? I know it was 2 nights at least refdbv also omg some camping stories:

► I didn’t have my voice for the entire trip bc I got sick with laryngitis, and now koby (the guy i shared a tent with) has it too erfdbvc

► It was blazing hot like omg I was dying, there werent showers, bathrooms, anything with AC. The tents were boiling hot, the ground fucking hurt, and it was just hell ok this isnt even a story I just need to complain.

► There was a racoon family outside the tents the first night, and we thought it was a bear bc we were literally in the middle of the woods, like it wasn’t a campsite with other people, it was the forest ;-; anyways we were legit so freaked out and up for 2 hours just listening to them walk around the tents and god it was so scary rfbdv

► As I said, I had no service so I missed the larvitar community day in pokemon go -_-

► I suck at cornhole so I was the cheer leader for a team UwU

► A deer jumped out right in front of the fucking car like RIGHT IN FRONT OF IT omg we were so close to hitting it like... it was fucking scary

► We went walking on a trail that was down a mountain and once we got down we discovered that the chairlift up was CLOSED so we had to walk back up and it was a nightmare bc we had all just drove like 30 minutes to shower in crappy no pressure no heat showers and we were all sweaty again by the time we got back to the top ;-;

dont go camping

Anonymous said: Your last edit creeps me out.

LMAO why? It isnt meant to be sexual or scary?  

@achinghearts88 said: I really love Sims 4 cc but I constantly struggle with finding safe sites and have accidentally downloaded a virus trying to get cc before so I'm kinda frightened now. What advice do you have for getting safe cc? Thanks!

Hello! I use an adfly skipper + adblock, and if both of those don’t work then I just don’t download the cc. For some creators (nolan-sims, simduction, isjao, ivo-sims, and others) I will turn them off because I know these creators aren’t ones that use the sketchy adfly stuff, but for others that I don’t know well I leave it on. I use: U Block origin and adfly skipper (both on firefox)

Anonymous said: I couldn't find a "contact me" thing but your AHarris00Britney has a broken mesh I think.            

??? idk what this means im sorry ;-; what hair are you referring to?

Anonymous said: an amazing creator and a loona fan???? i stan            

My mind... your mind... our mind..

@chocooosims said: hey, I love your cc, you are such a good creator! :) I'm not sure if someone already ask you that, but have you ever considered making a tutorial where you show us how you create maxis match hair? I mean, I know that I can already find on Internet  tutorials about frankenmeshing hair. But the thing is that you are one of the only creator who do more than simply merge 2 EA's hair together. So, I would really love to see a tutorial of how you are creating your cc! :) Thx for your time!! 

I am making a BIG tutorial right now of me making a hair from start-finish and it is around 3 hours not speed up. My guardian angel is going to edit it for me tonight and then I will try to have it posted next week sometime

Anonymous said: what university are you going to?

Radford :D it is in Virginia

Anonymous said: Just wanted to let you know you're a king           

thank you lmao I wish it were true, stan loona or be beheaded

Anonymous said: r u a guy or girl or non binary etc. also are you lgbtq+ at all? not to judge, just wondering :)

uuh, I’m a gay guy lmao idk about all the other terms like cis/bianary ;-; i like the anatomy exclusive to the male body

edit: rip so someone messaged me asking what I meant by “anatomy exclusive to the male body” and I was like ?? bc I meant i like d**k, and i explained that i didn't like using cuss words on my blog bc my account got shut down/deleted/reported last year and was completely gone for two days while I emailed my butt off to get it back. Also, I was trying to be funny by sounding proper and using big terms like anatomy/exclusive instead of just saying “i like penis” bc that just isnt as fun to say imo. My anatomy teacher never used words like v*gina/p*nis and would say stuff like that, and I always found it funny and I guess that was another reason I worded it that way. Anyways if you think I was being transphobic, I apologize. I hope you don’t think that I am transphobic bc of that? If you want to message me and talk to me about how I can word stuff better then I am around 24/7 mostly, but I’m not going to fight with anyone who is just looking to argue because that is childish. I am sorry to those that got offended but I got one message about this so if something like this happens, message me like this person and ask what I meant so that it isn’t blown out of proportion. Again, I did not think that it would be taken that way and I am sorry if you felt that I was making fun of a trans person. <3

Anonymous said: What do you see in the corner of your room when you get sleep paralysis  (;            

James Charles with breasts on the beach and im not sharing this photo anymore it is demonic OK

Anonymous said: hi! i installed your non-default eye recolors but i'm having a glitch with them. my female sims lose their face in cas and it's just like an empty spot where the face should be. i have the default eyes installed too so i know it's not an issue with a missing mesh but i'm not sure how to fix it.            

Hello!! I don’t think this is my eyes because I’m not experiencing this glitch? Did you run a S4S batch fix over everything? I think that causes this glitch sometimes but I am unsure. Try repairing your game and if you have the “no EA eyelash” mod then redownload that and replace the old file.

@sephirajo said: I found your sims 4 mods and I love the hairs! They're so amazing and pretty.            

thank you so much!

Anonymous said: In your collab with wildpixel, I F**KING love the Ivy hair; do you have any recolours of it or any of the other hairs in the collab?

all the hairs in that pack are recolored in the anathema and sacharinne palette :) and I reblog all recolors of my cc over on @aharris00britneyrecolors

[survivorkochang]

Rites of Passage

Here are Anna Janes and Tobis’ Rites of Passages!

Anna: Cullan! Aka Mercury! Man you were a trip, ok I just opened our messages because a lot has happened this game and I’m having a hard time remembering everything. AH, so I really liked Goodman and you wanted him out over Jayden and I hadn’t talked to Jayden a lot so I wasn’t down for it. Then I think you went for Mitch who was my ride or die and I wasn’t gonna have that. Then there was controversy of “who said Goodmans name!” but regardless, I think if you got further you would have been sooooo entertaining! I wish you nothing but the best and hope you continue to play orgs!

Tobi: Different tribes and we never talked but sorry for your early boot

Anna: Hi! I didn’t get to meet you this game :( 

Tobi: Hihi so actually louise and I both knew you were leaving no matter what and we just voted with you so that our relationship in BAR wasn’t affected and it didn’t really matter in the end bc I flipped anyway LOL

Anna: Hi! I didn’t get to meet you this game :( JK but wow were you inactive lol, i mean you were in like 5 games and I’m sure Seamus forced you to play/wouldn’t let you withdraw your app so thats probably why LMAO uhh yeah i’m glad you were inactive because you scare me and i think we totally would have butt heads. Your vote out was pretty simple because tobi had got screwed over by his OG tribe and was looking to come over to my side, and you weren’t there so it was really easy. You’re an icon and i’m sure if you were active you would have easily made merge

Tobi: Hey sistur yes I did throw you under the bus and I apologize because it was either you or me and I didn’t want to leave so ya hope ur doing okay tho <3 icon

Anna: oh goodman, how i adored you. It was so obvious this was your first game and i really wanted to just tuck you under my wing and bring you to the end with me LOL but i think you had a hard time keeping secrets…. Like you told Frankie about the plan to blindside him and leave him out of the 2 tribal fiasco and i was like GOODMAN WTPPP but you were so sweet and genuine with me. I think once you get a hand on these orgs you’ll totally be able to rock them out! 

Tobi: Different tribes and we never talked but sorry for your early boot

Anna: a LEGENDARY MESS wow, so like i don't know where to start, it was so funny because we hadn’t even had a conversation yet and you created an alliance with me nicole and mitch. I would like to THANK YOU for starting that alliance because with that, came the me/mitch and nicole alliance that lasted LITERALLY all the way to like f7. But the way you talked to me in the alliances was just very demanding and made me feel icky. I don't rly love being told what to do and in these games i will pretend like i’m following the orders of the people who are doing the demanding just to like boost their ego but in reality im just gonna do my own thing and do whats best for me. The minute u were like really demanding towards me was when i was like ok yeah this isnt gonna work. I like alliances to be a team effort and everyone can speak their mind and do what they want and idkkk it just wasn’t that in ours which is why i flipped on you. You’re truly an icon though!!

Tobi: Okay like noah fence but like you didn’t save me during that f14 tribal I saved myself by my own efforts and u kinda just tried to use that as leverage LMAO but I appreciate ur somewhat help <3

Anna:  Jayden! So you were an easy vote out at this point because it was 3-3 i believe, so it was me u and nicole. Zach was very controlling and i was doing the thing where i like pretend to listen to demands. I knew you were an easy vote out and you leaving wouldn’t impact my game later on so i allowed zach to pick you off. I knew that voting with zach would give me some trust with him so i figured why not, IM SORRY LOL but ya that's why i let you go. You’re a super cool guy and i had a lot of fun during the endurance challenge

Tobi: We didn’t get to talk much but you seemed really sweet and like I hope you’re doing good!!

Anna: oh BOY. first of all you were ROBBED of jury and that is terrible, the hosts should be shunned for that because that was gross. But zach, i enjoyed every conversation we had and you are SO charming. Unfortunately i could see right through it all because i've played too many of these games. I’ve also played with ppl like you so i know how you function LOL omg that sounds mean but like, you were playing like someone who needed control and needed people in his pockets and the way you did that was charming them and being very on top of it all. Does that make sense? The minute we had one world and i could talk to agus he said “zach is controlling my tribe, he has dylan/bo and jones in his pocket” i was like okay i understand. I had to allow myself to seem like someone who was less than you so that you didn’t see me as like a bigger threat than you. So i did that, i voted jayden out. I pretended to give you idol guesses etc. i couldn’t give you all of my trust because i knew that we could NEVER work out together. You were the leader of your tribe and i could be seen as the leader of mine. So if we had gotten any further together, it would have been an all out WAR like could you imagine??? AND i had an idol and SO DID YOU like we were going to go head to head at some point. So when the move presented itself i knew i had to take it so that i could gain the trust of the people that were in your pocket and remove a huge threat to my game. You leaving was so beneficial to me omg, i got jones as an ally from it! But anyway, my gosh are you a great player and i don't think i got to ask about your org history but there is NO way you havent won a game before. You are strong and well spoken and again SO CHARMING like well done, i’m sorry i had to blindside u lol but jones told me about your idol and she told me that you were catching on to me and like wanting nicole out so i was like it is time!! I hope ur doing well and i wish 1 day i could be as cool as u tbh

Tobi: Oh Zach, sorry for playing you as hard as I did but I was planning it ever since you and dylan lied to me at the double tribal thing and I reveled in getting revenge hehe…  I flipped wayyyy back at f14 and started to plan to take you and dylan out ever since then and it worked hehe but you’re definitely a cool guy and we had some awesome convos it was just a shame that the double tribal went the way it did but alas it was fun!

Anna:  :( i don’t know what to say. I was very transparent and honest about your vote out because you are such an awesome person and i value you very much. I do think if you weren’t taken out at this point, it would have been bad for me. I think u had allies in places i didn’t even know about and you are very strategic and just a smart person. Im gonna be honest though and say the main like nail in your coffin was the way jones was pushing me off of you, so in these games its important to separate relationships and like not be obvious about who you DON’T want out. Which is why i dont think many people knew mitch was my ride or die. Maybe because no one really wanted him out so i didnt have the opportunity to campaign for him? But the way jones was campaigning for you to stay was very very intense and made it very obvious that if you had stayed, i would be second in jones’ mind. So voting you out allowed me to become super close to jones and allow her to rely on me more than she would have if you had stayed. I guess you could credit jones for your vote out LMAO because like at first i was fine with going for bo over you because we are friends and i adored you but then jones was like crying and freaking out over you leaving so i was like yaaaaaaaaa sorry friend

Tobi: Ok hi so like we had like one conversation the entire season and you didn’t bother to message me back so that’s on you…  Anyway like if you read zach’s rop you’d know the reason that I flipped was because both of you lied and expected me to be okay with it (which i obviously wasn’t then yall got merge boots lmao) and on TOP of that you throw me under the bus to louise who was the only person i could have a sense of trust with at the f14 tribal… like you reap what you sow sis idk what else to say bc that combination of actions really set me on a mission to take you and zach out xo

Anna: BO!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW you were honestly one of my favorite people in this game because you were so entertaining holy shit like the definition of a messy player, if they have a messy player season than wow are you ON IT. so your vote out was really funny because i was moving into my apartment so i was NOT online. I actually thought there was a chance that i could get voted out at that point. So the whole time i was like yes we can go for david its fine lets do it no problem. I had the votes and it was going to work out but THAN YOU OPENED YOUR MOUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You literally went and told david that i was gonna vote him YOU SENT A QUOTE! So then ofc i flipped the switch back onto you and it was no problem but oh my gosh if you had just not gone and told david the plan you wouldn’t have gone home! That move 100% was the reason you received my vote, i hope u play more games because you’re such a character and i had a lot of fun playing with you even though you made me want to rip my hair out at some points

Tobi: You’re a sweet kid and you did good for your first org but you also shot yourself in the foot at your vote out… like literally you weren’t the one who was supposed to go… david was but you HAD to tell david about it which made zero sense considering that vote was between you and david lol… but i dont really hold it against you since im sure you were trying your best hehe!! Hope you’re doing good and you play in more orgs!

Anna: i would like to thank u for ruining my potential perfect game (im writing this before FIC so hence potential) r u d e. BUT my love for you extends so far it could reach where you live and come back to where i live and go back and forth 20834324320842 times. You have been a close friend of mine since JPORG but unfortunately this game we just weren’t on the same side of the tracks. And unfortunately, my side had more people lol but yeah your vote out was simple. We went into that challenge knowing that if you lost, you would go home. If you had won, david would go home. I was lowkey really nervous when you started to like pitch against me lol but i really knew that 1 of the people on my side would tell me so i could idol so i wasn’t like waste my idol nervous if you know what i mean. But i adore you, you’re a scary player and the minute i saw your name on the cast reveal i thought “oh no” because you play like i do, you aren’t afraid to be the big dog and you aren’t afraid to make the moves you need to make when you need to make them. I could sing your praises for days Agustin and you know that.

Tobi: Yoo like i liked talking to you and all and we were on the same page for a lot of the season BUT in my plans to get revenge on zach and dylan i aligned with a group that sadly didn’t include you in it but yeah it was really fun playing with you and omg i LOVED when you called me out in tribal like that was so fun and i really enjoyed it!!

Anna: david, david, david. Your vote out was the craziest and most intense tribal of the game for me. It opened my eyes to so much and allowed me to really dig deep and see what i had to do to get further. So we connected since the beginning and i made sure to watch out for you BUT i saw you as a threat. I saw you as someone who could beat me at challenges and i knew from the beginning of merge that i had to pick off the people that could stop me from winning mandatory immunities. So with that in my head AND the thought that you would be the first to flip on me in the u/me/mitch/tobi/nicole alliance, i knew that you had to go sooner than later. So you found out about nicoles idol and jones and tobi both told me. And then you WOULDN’T tell me who told you about the idol so i went to mitch and was like “hey david told me you told him about my and nicoles idol” even though you didn’t just so i could bait him. It worked, he admitted it. THAT MOMENT WAS CRUCIAL TO EVERYTHING OH MY GOD but yeah i knew that tobi and jones were with me and tobi did NOT benefit at all by voting out nicole. Thats what i dont think a lot of people understood, ya’ll kept trying to pick nicole off to get at me but tobi’s only win con was sitting next to nicole……. So thats how i knew he wasn’t going to do that all the times ya’ll tried it. But yeah, i told you i was voting you out and you know i adore you as a person. I think you’re a bomb ass player and you def gave me a run for my money lol

Tobi: Hey bud so like i know i played you and mitch pretty hard at your vote out and like it was absolutely nothing personal but it was kinda obvious that you and mitch were closer to together than you were to me so like working with you two wasnt super optimal for me and like taking you out helped me achieve a few things like taking out a challenge threat and it threw mitch under the bus which let me last another 2 rounds so like ya that was my thought process behind it and I hope you’re doing well 

Anna: mitch. My GOD did you play me good. You were in my DMs saying how you want me to win and you are so dyingly loyal and blah blah AND THEN YOU FLIPPED ON ME BUT NOT ONLY DID YOU FLIP ON ME BUT YOU FLIPPED ON MY TOOOOOO EARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh, 

i think of all the ppl that were like GET ANNA OUT GET ANNA OUT u were the person who i think could do it. But regardless, you were my person in this game. Like yes nicole was too but nicole wasn’t online enough to rly RLY be my person that i strategize with and talk to all the time. Like i told you all of my plans and we made moves together. I would NEVER say you were in my pocket and i can honestly say sitting at f3 that i don’t think you were. We were a team and we made moves together. We made plans together, we got the idols together. You and me did this together and i will never take that for granted. I had SO MUCH FUN playing with you mitch and becoming FRIENDS with you and really getting to know you. Our friendship is something i will take away from this game and i am so happy about that. You’re a bad ass mitch, thank you for playing this game by my side

Tobi: Lord like honestly our relationship is so rocky KJHLKJ like im gonna be real and say like I lied maybe a lil too much BUT it was for strategic reasons and letting david go and letting you take the hit for it really let me get through a few rounds with one move and like I also apologize about your own vote out like okay honestly i was already pretty leaning towards voting you out already but then when aj told me you wanted to vote me out (a plan which neither you or jones told me about) really sealed the deal and like i also was in a peculiar situation because nicole is the only person I have a real chance of beating in that f5 so it would've been really dumb for me to vote her out so yeah okay like i always feel like i wanna work with you but our plans never seem to work with each other KJHLKJ but i definitely hope we can work together if we meet each other again!!

Anna: jones, im getting exhausted writing all these but i really want to like be genuine and honest in all of them so here we go, I adore u wow, u are such an honest genuine soul that i know is seriously going to do amazing things in orgs and just life in general. Like i told you, you remind me of myself when i first started playing (which is a good and a bad thing LOL) but you are intense, you are confident in your game, and you are powerful. You should be proud of the way you played and excited for the games you play in the future. Your vote out was actually wild because at no point at all was i ever considering voting tobi out. So you were FLOODING me with messages, emotional intense messages that made me want to rip my hair out. Because you were telling me you weren’t gonna vote tobi, and then you were, and then you weren’t again and i was so confused because your ONLY argument with me was voting tobi out because i told you i was never ever going to vote nicole. NO ONE SHOULD EVER HAVE WANTED TO VOTE OUT NICOLE FOR SO MANY REASONS. But thats neither here nor there lol but yeah you were very aggressive and i was sooo taken back by it. It pretty much solidified my vote for you because tobi wasn’t begging for his life lol which like shows me that YOU were going to fuckin woop my ass at FIC and give the same amount of effort that im about to give to it, like girl you did the logic puzzle for 3 HOURS!!! you just dont give up. You would have fought tooth and nail to wipe the floor with me at that FIC and you cant deny that! But yeah, the begging and the emotional messages def helped ensure me voting for you. AND THEN FUCKIN NICOLE WASNT ONLINE. So this is actually wild what i did here and im sorry in advance but she wasn’t on and i knew me and tobi were voting you so i went to you and was like yo…. Tobi doesn’t have any votes against him you should make him join the votes club OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND YOU SAID YES SO MY LITTLE DEVIL BRAIN WAS LIKE YES BITCH 2-1-1, if you voted nicole it would have been fire making and nicole would have possibly lost. It was genius, it was cruel and i am sorry but i had to do it……… tobi knew too!!!! Ok im tired this was dumb i hate ROP, i adore you, you’re gonna kill muxloe but my one little snippet of advice is to NOT invest yourself into these games in an unhealthy way. I know this from experience because when i first got 4th my first game i SOBBED, the second time i got 4th I SOBBED the first time i got 2nd I SOBBED the second time i got 2nd I SOBBED and like when i say sobbed i mean it tore me up and i was mad and sad and just hurt emotionally so i GET IT. i get it, but its not good for your health!!!! Like once i learned to stop playing like that it helped me soooo much (it took me literally until this game sooooooooooooooooooooo im trash but still) I LOVE U JONESY GUACEY POOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Tobi: Ahhh jones you were honestly a joy to talk to and like I really enjoyed working with you!! Especially on that vote where we successfully flushed nicole’s idol which was honestly like 200iq stuff KLJHKJ and I feel like I came into f5/f4 being like the second least likely person to win with you and AJ being the most likely to win so at f4 the pressure was really on me because it was a choice of definitely making final tribal council but probably losing or having to work so much harder to make final tribal council but also having a real chance to win… and in the end i did what was best for my  game and i’m glad you understood that… but highkey i felt so bad that you voted for me bc if you voted for nicole you legit would’ve put firemaking into play KJHSDF but anyways it was really nice getting to meet you and know you hehe

Anna: I love u with my whole heart and I hope ur okay, I had to write this very fast so I can’t write it how I want to but just know I’m so appreciative of you and am glad I got to know you through this game

Tobi: hihi so like i really do appreciate everything we've done here together and like i really enjoyed our talks and stuff but you just went inactive (for personal reasons which i understand) but like you getting removed at f3 completely fucked over my game LKJHDSLFKJHA but like all that's really important is that you take care of your own stuff okay hehe luv u beecole <#

[ionecoffman]

YouTube Stars Are Being Accused of Profiting Off Fans' Depression

Some of YouTube's biggest stars have found themselves embroiled in controversy over videos that critics say allow them to profit off fans struggling with depression.

Over the past year, mental health and burnout have become big topics in the YouTube community. Stars like Philip DeFranco and Shane Dawson have posted heartfelt videos about their struggles with depression, encouraging fans to get help with their own issues. At the end of each video, they promote an online counseling service called BetterHelp, and include a referral link that earns them money every time a fan clicks the link and signs up.

me holding my emotional baggage. 🤗 on a serious note, thank u to @betterhelp for sponsoring today’s video and for making a service for people like me who get anxiety about going to a therapist office. if you want help and want to give it a try go to https://t.co/Px5ZVazt3z ❤️ pic.twitter.com/jFQzJPhFg1

— Shane Dawson (@shanedawson) August 9, 2018

"If you’re currently struggling your mental health, I highly encourage you to reach out to someone," says Elle Mills, a YouTube star with more than 1.5 million subscribers, in a recent video titled "The Aftermath of My YouTube Breakdown." "In light of this video, I’m working with BetterHelp to help provide another resource to you guys." She then explains that the app will connect fans with a licensed therapist within 24 hours. Below the video is a custom referral link.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the third-leading cause of death for young people aged 15 to 24; some studies estimate that up to 20 percent of teens experience depression before they reach adulthood. For a starting fee of $35 per week, BetterHelp will match you with an online counselor who you can then speak to via text, phone, or video, theoretically making it easy for tech-savvy and time-strapped teens to get mental-health care. But some people who downloaded the app after being prompted by their favorite YouTubers have claimed that it has far from helped them.

Eighty-six users have filed complaints about the app with the Better Business Bureau, a nonprofit aimed at holding businesses accountable for bad practices. In a Reddit thread, several users describe being charged excessive fees (likely due to the fact that they didn't realize the plan they purchased charged the full annual fee up front), and claim the counselors on the app were unresponsive, unhelpful, or refused them treatment.

fyi the therapy service “betterhelp” that youtubers like shane & h3h3 are advertising is a scam & theyre paying these youtubers loads&theyre capitalising ur depression. betterhelp will scam u for ur money and their service is known to be awful. have a nice day

— iola (@IolaCoppard) October 1, 2018

As Polygon points out, the BetterHelp's terms of service state that the company can’t guarantee a qualified professional. “We do not control the quality of the Counselor Services and we do not determine whether any Counselor is qualified to provide any specific service as well as whether a Counselor is categorized correctly or matched correctly to you,” the terms of service read. "The Counselor Services are not a complete substitute for a face-to-face examination and/or session by a licensed qualified professional."

YouTubers, sensitive to the growing backlash from their fans, have nearly all put their partnerships with BetterHelp on hold after others on YouTube began calling them out. In one of her videos, the YouTuber Deschroma, who never endorsed the app previously, said she "couldn’t in good conscience" recommend the app to others. The YouTube channel Memeology 101 produced a nine-part series on the scandal, calling it "one of the biggest cons pulled by YouTubers in 2018." PewDiePie, one of the biggest YouTubers on the platform, has denounced the app and the YouTubers promoting it, as well, saying in his own video, "Betterhelp turns out to be ... even worse than what I thought."

On Monday, the YouTuber Boogie2988 posted a 12 minute mea culpa video apologizing to his 4.5 million subscribers. "Here’s where I really screwed up: I didn’t read the terms of service for myself. I trusted the other YouTubers that were advertising it. And maybe that’s not something I should do moving forward," he said. He also announced he'd be donating all the profits he had made through the partnership to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline and St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.

They have also invited me to their office to see and understand their team's full process & procedures in person. And even though I trust and believe them, until I do that and they reword their TOS, which they say they will, I'll be putting BH sponsor spots on a temp hold. (3/2)

— Philip “Not Your Daddy” DeFranco (@PhillyD) October 4, 2018

I will obviously suspend my sponsorship for better help until we know what is going on for sure. But I never had any desire to do anything but help my fans.

— OogieBoogie2988 👻👻👻 (@Boogie2988) October 4, 2018

BetterHelp CEO Alon Matas responded to the controversy directly this week via a Medium post. In it, he says the allegations against the company are unfounded and claims that quality controls are in place. He outlines the vetting process in detail:

We have a whole team that makes sure every provider we bring to the platform is fully licensed and in good standing. Providers who apply are required to provide proper licensure documentation, proof of identity, and references from other licensed practitioners who have worked with them. We then cross-check their licensure information with their respective state licensing board.

Additionally, our vetting process for each provider, which typically takes 4–5 weeks, goes well beyond checking credentials. Each potential provider needs to complete a case study exam by a licensed clinician and a video interview.

Matas also writes that the "ridiculous allegations" against his company have been entirely "fueled by YouTube drama that took a life of its own."

But YouTubers rely on trust and authenticity to grow their audiences, and even an implication that they might be trying to sell a sub-par product or service can damage the relationship they have with their fans. "I really wish big youtubers would stop pushing BetterHelp, its a scam and the fact they’re (youtubers) making money off of exploiting mental illness makes me sick," one fan tweeted. "fyi the therapy service 'betterhelp' that youtubers like shane & h3h3 are advertising is a scam & they're paying these youtubers loads & they're capitalising ur depression," another said.

"Why do youtubers shove shit in our face like #betterhelp #freeiphones and stuff without trying it first or doing research?" a fan said today. "I've lost respect for some due to this better help crap. We're not dollar signs. We are supporters."

Article source here:The Atlantic

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

The art of the YouTube apology video

When an actor messes up, they typically have a team of managers, agents, and crisis managers to back them up with handcrafted personal statements apologizing for their actions. 

When a beauty guru messes up, they set up their tripods, get the tears going, and hit record. 

SEE ALSO: YouTube breakup videos are basically a requirement now. Here's why.

Much like break up videos, apology videos are almost a rite of passage for YouTubers. Since their content is so personal, their apologies have to be, too. As content creators' offensive internet histories get exposed, apology videos are becoming more and more common. There's almost a formula to them: You sob, you apologize for whatever you did wrong, you sob some more, beg for forgiveness from your fans, and then wrap it up with a teary thank-you. 

The most recent example of this tearsfest is Laura Lee, a beauty vlogger who was once just shy of 5 million subscribers, but lost 200,000 once she was exposed for racist tweets this month. A video she posted, simply titled "My Apology," went viral for all the wrong reasons. 

Content creator Keem mocked Lee in a video that broke down the types of apology videos that YouTubers make, from gamers apologizing for a racist comment to vloggers apologizing for filming a dead body. 

In 2012 Lee tweeted, "tip for all black people if you pull ur pants up you can run from the police faster." 

When fans of another rival beauty guru dug up the vile tweet, Lee went silent. She deactivated her Twitter account, deleted her old tweets, and then came back to Twitter with a lengthy Notes app apology. In the statement, she blamed the fact that she grew up as a "small town girl from Alabama" who lacked the "cultural education" that she has now. 

Five days later, she followed up with this apology video. 

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry to you guys," she whimpers, frequently stopping mid-sentence to sob into her hands. "It hurts me so bad to disappoint you all who have supported me for many years. I know that I'm better than that person." 

The four-minute video was dragged for being (for lack of a better word) total bullshit. One commenter called it "so funny to watch bc it’s so forced." Another joked that it was "proof that youtubers shouldn't be actors."

Someone wrote fake captions over her video, and people turned her into a meme on Twitter. It even inspired parodies. 

whoever wrote the caption for laura lee’s apology is my hero pic.twitter.com/S4406OSgmV

— 𝕙𝕒𝕓𝕚𝕓𝕒 (@denimIester) August 20, 2018

Laura Lee is part of a group of beauty gurus who all apologized for their problematic pasts, but hers is the one getting criticized the most. 

But is there a "right" way to apologize? Crisis manager Eden Gillott Bowe says there may not be a one size fits all way to say "I'm sorry," but there is a basic formula that best gets the point across. Like Olivia Pope in Scandal, Gillott Bowe fixes messy situations. 

"If you know you've done something wrong, you don't want to hide it because the truth always finds a way of coming out," Gillott Bowe said over the phone. "So you just want to deal with it quickly." 

Compare Lee's apology to that of another member of the beauty guru clique that broke apart over this past week, Gabriel Zamora. 

In contrast to Lee's tears, Zamora opens the video by explaining that the version he's posting is the third version he's recorded because he was more levelheaded than in the first two. 

"I'm like, you know what? This isn't just about my emotions," he admits in the video.

Gillott Bowe recommends staying as calm as possible, like Zamora, while doing damage control. 

"Try not to be too reactionary and just take a moment to think about how it's going to be perceived," she said. "If I jump out and say this, how might it be taken the wrong way?"

With that in mind, here's the backstory on all the beauty guru drama.  

Fellow vlogger and Lee and Zomara's former friend Jeffree Star — who has his own history of being horrifically racist and according to the Washington Post, once joked about "throwing battery acid on a black girl's face to lighten her skin so that her foundation matches" — was the subject of a Shane Dawson documentary series on YouTube that examined Star's life and reputation.

The last installation of the five part series discusses the public feud Star had with his ex-friend group. Star says that "people still don't really know what went on" that broke down the group, and that "there's so many versions of things that never happened out there."

In response, Zamora posted a photo of himself, Laura Lee, Manny MUA, and Nikita Dragun captioned "Bitch is bitter because without him we're doing better," referring to Star. Zamora topped it off in a now-deleted tweet that said, "Imagine stanning a racist? I could never."

That kicked off a stan-led scrape through the four YouTubers' Twitter histories, which unearthed hateful tweets from years ago. Manny MUA, Laura Lee, and Gabriel Zamora all made separate videos apologizing for their actions; Nikita Dragun addressed it on Twitter. 

But why does Star get a pass on his past actions, while Lee's getting dropped from all of her brand partnerships? Fans agreed that their apology videos made all the difference. 

The difference is they both acknowledged their mistakes years ago and have actively worked to better themselves and let it show through their actions. Laura barely made an apology, cried fake tears, and tried to blame it on everything else, like "I was raised in a small town"

— Future 👩🏻‍⚕️ (@K_Wolstenholme) August 23, 2018

They felt the same way about Zamora's apology video. Stans thought that compared to Lee's apology, it was significantly more genuine because he walked through how he would improve. Commenters lauded Zamora's apology as "a great example" and "like sitting with a friend." 

if Gabriel Zamora gaining back all the subs he lost and then some isn’t proof that all we want as viewers are real people telling the truth...i don’t know what is pic.twitter.com/Im0NNfCUKr

— spektader (@spektader) August 22, 2018

Makeup fans haven't forgiven Star entirely, though. Some wish he'd face the same consequences as Lee. 

im glad this is happening but i wish the same energy would’ve been kept for Jeffree Star and James Charles https://t.co/8okPymP00H

— deja 🏳️‍🌈 (@dejaistired) August 23, 2018

Gillott Bowe recommends that when crafting an apology, whether to a friend in private or to an entire fanbase through a public statement, you don't want to keep repeating "I'm sorry." 

"You want to be sincere," she said. "You don't want to dwell on it. Once you say you're sorry you don't want to belabor it." 

In Zamora's video, he said, "I don't want to give excuses ... it was ignorant, it was stupid." Instead of jumping to begging his subscribers not to call him racist, he asked them to take time to process his apology. He also linked two videos about the history of the N word and a lecture from author Ta-Nehisi Coates about "words that don't belong to everyone." 

Then, in typical YouTuber fashion, he moved on and exposed Lee and Manny MUA for throwing him under the bus and refusing to take accountability when their tweets were exposed.

Fed up of going on YouTube and all the videos being titled ‘my truth’, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘my apology’. I just want to watch a fucking makeup tutorial

— georgia (@georgievowles) August 23, 2018

Although that's exactly the kind of drama YouTube subscribers want to hear, Gillott Bowe probably wouldn't go for that cutthroat, spilling the tea approach. She'd rather her clients wrap up an apology by looking forward. 

"You talk about the future," she said. "The things you want to change to make sure it doesn't happen again, and then you stay positive." 

So for future YouTubers who need to make an apology — whether it's Tana Mongeau apologizing for calling her black friend a racial slur or Jenna Marbles apologizing for being an unprepared fish owner — here's the formula that Gillott Bowe endorses. 

1. Open with something positive.

Gillott Bowe recommends "easing into it" by thanking people for their support.

2. Say you're sorry and don't drag it on.

"Focus right on the apology," she said. Don't try to skirt responsibility or avoid taking accountability. It's better for all parties if you just own up to what you did wrong. 

3. End on a good note.

Gillott Bowe calls this a "compliment sandwich." You want to close the apology with something "nice and hopeful," like outlining the steps you'll take to improve.

4. Don't do it again.

She brings up a quote often misattributed to Albert Einstein: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

"People have a tremendous capacity to forgive," Gillott Bowe explains, "But you don't want to keep apologizing if you're going to end up doing shitty things again anyway." 

Navigating the public sphere after a major scandal will probably be rocky for a while, but Gillott Bowe is sure that if an apology is genuine, the person at fault will be OK. 

"There are the kinds of people who are going to hate you no matter what you do," she said. "But if the people in the middle could be swayed either way, those are the people you're gearing toward."

Or, you know, you could also just try not to be racist. 

WATCH: An ancient human species went extinct because it was 'lazy'

[ber39james]

Willpower Is a Muscle—Here’s How to Make It Stronger

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), children who demonstrate stronger willpower in the lab end up having better school attendance and stronger academic performance while also being more likely to have “greater physical and mental health, fewer substance-abuse problems and criminal convictions, and better savings behavior and financial security” as adults. Yet, in the APA’s Annual Stress Survey, lack of self-control is the leading reason Americans fail to follow through with healthy lifestyle changes. We’d all like more willpower. Unfortunately, many of us lost whatever lottery would have given us more self-control.

Right?

Wrong. It turns out that willpower is a skill that can be practiced and strengthened.

Your inability to keep your hand out of the cookie jar despite years of New Year’s resolutions might actually come down to a weak or underdeveloped willpower muscle rather than a predestined lack of self-control. But, before you start berating yourself about wimpy willpower muscles. . .

Take your eyes off the cookie jar. Look at me. This is exciting.

. . .new research shows that your willpower may not really be all that weak. In some ways, our modern world sets us up to fail. But in the face of all this, you can get better. So, how do you increase willpower?

What Is Willpower? How Does It Work?

Before we dive into the juicy stuff, it will be helpful to get on the same page about what we mean when we say “willpower.”

Essentially, you use willpower when you forego immediate gratification in order to achieve long-term goals.

According to Roy F. Baumeister, author of Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, understanding self-control comes down to understanding these things:

Willpower is like a mental muscle.

It fatigues like a muscle if it is worked too hard, leading to “ego depletion” or “willpower depletion.”

Exercising restraint isn’t all that can exhaust the mental energy needed for self-control; decision-making of all kinds also depletes willpower.

With that context, it becomes more clear why your willpower might not be the problem: your environment plays a role, too. Dr. Kathleen Vohs explains, “[t]here is research that shows people still have the same self-control as in decades past, but we are bombarded more and more with temptations,” and “[o]ur psychological system is not set up to deal with all the potential immediate gratification.”

Just let that sink in.

All the media we consume, all the advertisements, the fast pace of life, the seemingly unlimited options at the store—even having too many clothes in your closet can be a drain on your willpower! Between all the temptations we encounter and the thousands upon thousands of decisions we make each day, no wonder that willpower is nowhere to be found when we need it most.

So, what’s the good news?

According to loads of research, you absolutely can strengthen and increase willpower so that in the face of everything, you will reach your goals.

How to Increase Willpower

More good news: there are several research-backed strategies to help you manage your willpower resources and strengthen your self-control muscles—even if you think you have none. The simplest strategies for improving self-control include meeting your basic physical needs and removing unnecessary decision-making from your daily life. The more complex strategies will take time and effort but are most effective in helping you fortify your willpower over time.

1Eat regularly.

The severe lack of determination you feel when you’re hungry isn’t just in your head. Research supports the idea that willpower requires a lot of brainpower, and the brain needs food. If you aren’t feeding your brain enough or often enough, your willpower will suffer. For this reason, if you’re trying to lose weight—or even write that term paper—eating small meals often improves your self-control.

2Remove temptations.

In his ground-breaking Marshmallow Experiment (yes, that’s what it was called), Dr. Walter Mischel and his team placed a plate of marshmallows on a table and gave children a choice between eating one marshmallow immediately or waiting for an unspecified time for two. What they found is that children who distracted themselves—closed their eyes, looked around, etc.—were able to resist temptation much longer than those who didn’t take their eyes off the plate of pillowy marshmallows. This “out-of-sight-out-of-mind” tactic has been confirmed to work for adults—in offices, with candy. So, if you want to avoid willpower depletion, remove some temptations.

3Reduce the number of decisions you have to make.

Remember willpower feeds on the same energy as all your decision-making. Try to limit the number of decisions you have to make. Here are some ideas for how to reduce the number of choices you make day-to-day.

Prepare your meals in advance once or twice a week.

Plan your weekday outfits on the weekend or try a capsule wardrobe. While planning an entire week of outfits is great if you live somewhere with reliable weather, a capsule wardrobe can have a similar effect and give you flexibility. Basically, you just pick items that match one another. My closet, for example, is all based on the same pallet. It makes dressing—and shopping—much less stressful.

For projects, create a structured plan to follow or get a professional to help. If you’re doing something like trying to get in shape, doing the same structured exercises might help you stick to it. Also, hiring a professional to handle the details can pay off big time. With my personal trainer, all I do it show up. He worries about the rest—which exercises, how much, and he gets it all set for me. Plus, I made a friend.

Outsource! Somewhat related to hiring a professional, outsourcing decisions is a good way to get things off your plate or just have a little fun. For example, at our office we get lunch deliveries from various places nearby—we just have to order it. Some folks, however, have discovered someone else on the team with similar tastes and told our office manager to always order what so-and-so is having. For larger projects, like publishing a report or planning an event, learn to let go of control. Get everyone on the same page to start, but then let others own some decision-making.

Batch tasks. This won’t really help you limit the number of decisions you have to make, but it will help you remove the distractions that some decisions cause. Check your email at fixed times or, if you use Slack, learn to love the “Remind me about this” function.

4Focus.

According to Baumeister, one of the worst things you can do for your willpower is try to make too many changes at a time (ehrm, New Year’s Resolutions?) You’re much better off picking one.

5Do some emotional TLC.

Unsurprisingly, emotions can have a big impact on your willpower.

Show your emotion. Tom Heatherton and Katherine Vohs measured self-control of people who had just seen a sad movie. One group had been told not to show their emotions and another group had been told to let their emotions out. The group that showed their sadness performed better on the willpower tests, presumably because they didn’t need to use up their self-control supply trying to hide their emotions. So, let it out!

Stop people pleasing. Making others happy and conforming to their standards is a surefire way to zap your willpower. Find ways to motivate your behavior that don’t require external approval.

Check your frame of mind. Baumeister found that just thinking positively about one’s willpower improved self-control outcomes in tests. So, if you’re having trouble resisting temptation, think about a few examples where you exhibited restraint successfully before trying again.

6Increase your motivation.

Inevitably, there will be times when your willpower is waning. In times like these, focus on motivation. Research by Mark Muraven shows that low-willpowered people perform better on self-control tasks when they’re told they will be paid. When you’re feeling temptation taking over, focus instead on how you can better motivate yourself. In the weight-loss game, for example, there apps like Gympact that bill you for not hitting the gym and pay you for living healthfully.

7Use some “Implementation Intention.”

In Willpower, Baumeister and co-author John Teirney outline how to cope in the face of temptation and bolster your self-control using a technique called “implementation intention.” It works this way: before you experience a temptation, you should already plan out your response. Let’s say you are avoiding unhealthy food. If you’re at a party and someone offers you dessert, you can plan to decline and instead ask for some fresh fruit. The key here is to think about situations when your willpower will be tested and prepare a response in advance—basically make your decision in advance.

8Practice self-control.

The most challenging but best way to strengthen your willpower muscles is to actually use them. Baumeister suggests creating simple but challenging tasks that require some effort to adhere to. For example, you can commit to turning the light off in every room you leave, putting away your clothes at the end of each day, or eliminating filler words from your speech. These relatively easy tasks, practiced diligently, will hone your self-control skills—and build your confidence in the face of temptation.

Without a doubt, fortifying willpower isn’t easy, but the benefits that come with reserves of self-determination can give you an edge. Researchers have even shown that strength of willpower is more strongly correlated with academic performance than IQ is. The investment you make in your self-control skills is one of the best you can make in your life.

So, now the question is, what are you going to do with your willpower?

The post Willpower Is a Muscle—Here’s How to Make It Stronger appeared first on Grammarly Blog.

from Grammarly Blog https://www.grammarly.com/blog/strong-willpower/