#&*' thomas buckley / arc; undetermined.

[shotones-archive]

                                   @montanamiracle​   /   cont.

His words almost brought a smirk to her lips.  How many times had she heard that line?  It was preposterous to even entertain the idea that her father’s death had nothing to do with her actions.  She was the one who wanted the extra lesson.  She was the one who wasn’t strong enough to live on her own through the injury.  It was her fault that she didn’t just die.  It was her fault that her father was dead, her fault her father was in Hell.

“Do you really believe that?  Because you don’t have to be a psychic to see that something is behind your eyes too.  I’ve seen that look, I see it every single day when I look in a mirror.  You have it too.  So when you drop your blame, whatever it is, then I’ll drop mine.”

his lips pressed into a thin line      and he looked off to the side for a moment. her observation was hitting the nail on the head. he too carried a lot of blame, it was true, and like her, it was over a parent’s death that had happened when he was a kid. he couldn’t deny the similarities. still... he looked back at her again and shook his head.      ❛❛   ... that’s different,   ❜❜      he insisted, confident in his statement.

after all, she had been in an accident that had been out of her control (as much as she wanted to convince herself otherwise,) and her father had made a decision that any good parent would’ve if there was no other hope of saving their child. meanwhile, thomas’ mother hadn’t had any choice. even before the symptoms had started to appear, thomas had known something was seriously wrong with his mother. if only he had tried putting it into words, maybe it would’ve convinced her to go see a doctor and from there, she could’ve gotten the treatment she needed before it was too late, then she would’ve been alive today. but he hadn’t said anything. even after that fraud had convinced her it was nothing and thomas knew otherwise, he hadn’t said anything. it was his fault, and his alone.      ❛❛   and yes, i really do believe that you shouldn’t blame yourself.   ❜❜