#& gregory ' greg ' hirsch. * greghirs

[lovehurried]

@greghirs said:    “There's too much light.” apart together  • not accepting.

"Worried you'll burn, baby?"

[restedache-a]

@greghirs​   ‘   i  am  clearly  not  cut  out  for  love.    ‘

the  sharp  knife  of  greg’s  words  cut  through  eddie  ,   leaving  him  breathless for  just  a  moment.  there  was  a  time  eddie  thought  that  for  himself;   college  was  rough  when  a  chunk  of  your  core  memories  were  missing.  (   not  that  he’d  actually  find  out  until  twenty  years  later.   )    a  gaze  that  needed  to  hover  over  the  curve  of  a  woman’s  body  desperately  flickered  to  men  that  glided  past  him  instead.   he  knew  what  he  was;   the  good  memories  may  have  disappeared  ,  but  the  whispered  slurs  stayed  ,   clear  as  can  be.   

then  ,     he  met  MYRA.   it  wasn’t  healthy,  no.   it  was  barely  a  relationship  ,   and  yet  ,   he  married  her.   it  was  EASY.   it  was  FAMILIAR.   it  was  sigmund  freud’s  wet  dream.   years  came  and  went  and  it  was  clear  eddie  was  going  to  die  this  way.   a  DEPRESSED  RISK  ANAYLST  which  intense  trauma  ,   OCD  ,   and  his  mother  for  his  wife.   and  as  much  as  he  FUCKING  HATES  CLOWNS  ,   thank  god  this  one  forced  them  all  back  together  or  else  his  life  would’ve  lasted  another  year  ,  maybe  less.    but  RICHARD  WENTWORTH  TOZIER  changed  his  entire  trajectory.  now  an  openly  gay   ,  divorced  man  who  was  still  a  risk  anaylst   (   working  on  that  one  )    who  was  engaged  to  his  childhood  best  friend  who  grew  up  to  be  a  comedian.     it  only  took  FORTY  FUCKING  YEARS  and  a  shit  ton  of  therapy.  but  god  ,   it  was  worth  every  goddamn  second.

if  EDDIE  KASPBRAK  ,  against  all  odds,  could  take  the  blade  and  cut  himself  an  eddie  -  shaped  hole   ,    gregory  hirsch  sure  as  hell  could  do  the  same  thing.     ‘     NO.     ‘    his  response  was  simple;   short  and  to  the  point.   the  glare  settling  was  not  one  out  of  anger  ,   but  determination.    ‘    sorry  ,   but  NO.    that’s  clearly  wrong.   love  is  HARD  AS  FUCK.    if  there’s  anyone  who  can  brave  some  crazy  love  shit   ,   it’s  you.    you’re   too  good  to  just  give  up.    if  THEY  have  a  problem  with  that  ,  then  it’s  on  them.    YOU  DESERVE  TO  BE  HAPPY.    stop  giving  that  up  for  people.   ‘     it’s  never  eddie’s  intention  to  sound  like  he’s  standing  on  a  soapbox  ,   and  yet  ,   the  loose  lips  he’s  had  sense  he  was  a  kid  continue  on.    he  just  doesn’t  like  seeing  anyone  feel  the  way  he  once  felt.   worthless  ,   unlovable  ,   alone.    greg  was  far  from  that.

[lovehurried]

@greghirs said:    “I don't know what all of this means.” apart together  • not accepting.

"Shit, who does?" There's a hint of a laugh in Siobhan's voice as she looks past her own reflection in the mirror to settle on that of her cousin, who is leaning against the marble countertop on the other side of the room.

It's one of those restrooms that seems to be geared more towards gossiping and fixing your makeup than anything else. She has hazy memories of her mother and the other wives spending huge chunks of parties in rooms just like this one when she was younger. But now this is a sort of sanctuary, a space to breathe away from the posturing and politics which have dominated the night thus far.

Shiv's in that weird limbo right now where she's caught between being trotted out as a distraction her father's friends business partners and their wives can coo over - the precious only daughter in a family that runs on testosterone and dollar signs - and being someone who is old enough to have her own opinions on the conversations she's forced to exist on the outskirts of.

Not that anybody wants to hear them - yet.

She's lost count of the amount of times she's bristled at some comment or another tonight, a rebuttal trapped behind the veneer of placid perfection she's been made to erect. She keeps herself in check with the promise that one day she'll be able to speak up, to counter their half-formed arguments with the kind of authority she knows she could command if she were given even half a chance. But for now she takes a breath, and settles for mocking them in private with the only family member she consistently counts as an ally.

"I'm pretty sure every single one of them is making it up as they go along. They just embellish shit so it sounds better than it is." She gestures vaguely with a hand to emphasise her point before turning away from her reflection and mirroring her cousin's position, bracing her hands against the cool countertop as she leans against it.

"I'm still shocked Uncle Ewan let you come - or is this some kind of cautionary tale? 'Stay out of the family business, or you'll end up like these pricks'?." There's an echo of her father's cadence there that she doesn't like, and she quickly moves on with a grin that doesn't make it to her eyes. "So pretty much the opposite of why Dad makes us come to these things, right?"

[lovehurried]

@greghirs said:    “Could I be more of a cliché?” apart together  • not accepting.

"You could be a secretary who doesn't even know how to sharpen a pencil." She offers with a shrug, trying to joke even though her heart isn't in it. "C'mon, we've both had a shitty week. Let's go and get drunk."

[lovehurried]

@greghirs said:    “There's no more to say.” apart together  • not accepting.

"Bullshit, Greg. Your life will be easier if you just come out with it now." Something in her expression shifts then, and she almost sounds pained when she adds: "What the fuck is going on?"

[lovehurried]

@greghirs said:    “I've been going slowly insane.” apart together  • not accepting.

"I've heard corporate shill-dom'll do that to a person." Sometimes, you can really tell she's Abe Weissman's daughter. But then she's sympathetic, setting a mug of coffee down on the low table in front of Greg before taking a seat beside him, and that's all Midge. "Is it work stuff, or family stuff? Not that there's much of a difference, where you're concerned."

[lovehurried]

@greghirs said:    “Some poor fuck will deal with it later.” apart together  • not accepting.

She looks up from her work, a brow arched. "Meaning one of the assistants? Oh, I taught you better than that."

[lovehurried]

‘It’s all very... Predictable.” Sat across from Greg in the biggest apartment she’s ever set foot inside, she pulls her knees up to her chest and rests her chin on them, eyebrows just slightly raised as her friend regales her with another story from the weird and awful world of Waystar. A lot of them seem to follow the same sort of narrative at the moment - a member of the family (his family, she has to remind herself) does or says something awful, and everyone else has to pick up the pieces of the inevitable public fallout. “Do you not think so? The way they behave, I mean.”

@greghirs​ sent a 💬 for a starter and gets one from here

[lovehurried]

“I'm driving home for Christmas.“

@greghirs​​​ gets a festive lyric one-liner Driving Home for Christmas  ( Chris Rea, On the Boat  ( 1986 ) )

[lovehurried]

“I was hoping I’d see you here tonight.” Rita appears at his side, glancing up at him with a smile as she takes her attention away from the scene before them: Kendall Roy, glad-handing the press like a pro. “Not just because all this is good for business, obviously. How’re you holding up?”

@greghirs​ gets a surprise from the CPWJ dinner

[lovehurried]

“Do you wanna grab a cup of coffee or something? Or does that count as fraternising with the enemy for you now?”

@greghirs​​​ better hope ATN doesn’t find out about this

[lovehurried]

“Pray for me. You’d think I’d’ve learned from your example, but... I’m going on a date with a guy from work.”

@greghirs​​​ sent a 💬 for a starter and gets one from here

[lovehurried]

“I’m just telling you what’s right in front of you. You know I’m right.”

@greghirs​ sent a 💬 for a starter and gets one from here

[lovehurried]

“Can I be honest with you? Acting like them isn’t gonna make you any happier. Sure, you get... What, protection from being in with them, or whatever. But it won’t be worth it in the end. They’ll either throw you to the wolves at the first opportunity, or at some point you’re gonna realise that you don’t recognise yourself anymore.”

@greghirs​ gets (unqualified?) advice

[lovehurried]

Her head aches. Memories vie for prominence, and she can’t quite... Place herself anymore. Two lives lived centuries apart merge inside her like an inexpertly shuffled deck of cards, and there’s more than a hint of frantic desperation in her red-rimmed eyes as she meets his gaze.

 Who else could possibly understand this, if not him? 

“I don’t know what all of this means.”

@greghirs​ sent a 💬 for a starter and gets one from here

[lovehurried]

@greghirs​​​ said:    ‘and so today I’m gonna try just getting up, sitting down, going back to work.’ inside starters  •  accepting.

The list of people who get to come and sit in Joan’s office is short. It seems to get shorter by the day, sometimes, depending on how high her levels of antipathy toward Roys and Roy-adjacents happens to be, but Greg manages to keep his place on it.

She’s not sure what it is about him, really. Maybe the fact that he seems to be the exception that proves the rule that all members of this family are self-serving narcissists. Whatever it is, she’s made it plain that he has an ally in her - even if all he needs is somewhere to gather his nerves before getting to work.

“Believe me, I’ve heard worse plans.”