tadvisharvari

[tadvisharvari]

stuck between ‘if it was love, it would come back’ and ‘if it was love, it would have never left’.

©️ sharvari tadvi, 06:57 pm IST, 04/02/25

[tadvisharvari]

i don’t need anyone — a cry for help.

how many times have you said ‘i don’t need anyone’ when you clearly did; with tears rolling down your face; with bleeding hands; with palpitating chests; with crossed fingers and a nauseating and growling stomach. in your head, yes you did ask for help, but until that help reached your mouth, your brain ran thoughts of judgement over and over again until you were convinced — asking for help is a sign of weakness.

in your head you live a thousand lifetimes, i hope in atleast one of it, you make it out and truly live and breathe. in atleast one, you realise you are allowed asking for help, for being needy sometimes, for being dependent and having someone to lay your head on; that you’re not a burden if you feel pain, or if you fail, or you’re unmotivated sometimes, or if you’re falling behind when it comes to the human race, or this mass of goals you carry on your shoulders. no wonder you feel exhausted when you’re carrying so much dead weight; the weight that you can easily put down; the weight that isn’t yours to carry — guilts of broken bonds and forgiven apologies, of not being enough to someone who never gave you enough too!

i hope in one lifetime, you look at yourself in the mirror, you do not find a stranger in your body, but someone you recognise and want to resonate with, someone you wanna live with and grow with. someone you wanna spend your whole lifetime with.

©️ sharvari tadvi, 06:21 pm IST, 03/02/25

[tadvisharvari]

“ and if wait isn’t another word for love, idk what is.”

when in love, you learn to wait. even if there’s no hope, you’re still there where they left you. standing, carrying a bouquet, in case if the do come back, you’re not empty handed. cannot sit, because you’re too anxious, cannot leave because you’re anxious but still patient. cannot doubt because it’s you who’s in love and what they do to you and how they shatter your heart really doesn’t matter here. anything they do, you colour it red with your hands full of blood and call it love. they do nothing, and you label it as them protecting your feelings. i’m telling you, love makes you believe in the most stupid things, and it makes you delusional more than hospital has ever seen. but then again, if love didn’t get you a little crazy, if love didn’t make you feel like ‘either this or nothing’, then my darling, was it even love in the first place?

©️ sharvari tadvi, 07:07 pm IST, 02/01/25

[tadvisharvari]

he was plain ice. cold! but for her, he learnt to carry warmth inside him, even if it killed him in the end. — a love that consumes you.

guys think we girls want a guy who everybody likes. someone who is outgoing, fun to be with. has a smile that makes someone’s day. has a gaze that can make people stop and stare. dresses as if he’s about to go shoot for a movie, and has an aura that would melt the hardest ice that exists. but no!!! it’s not like that.

they think we fall for guys that are pretty, but it’s more to it that actually makes us stay. the kind that’s pretty kind, pretty caring. when you’d go against the world for your people and not make them feel embarrassed for their mistakes publicly. when they do not hamper your self-worth while explaining you about something you don’t know about. when they are calm, and know how to maintain it even when angry. when they are known as a short tempered person, but they apologise when it comes to their girl. the kind who have a very bold personality but have a soft spot just for her. someone who’s gaze softens when he sees her.

we do not go for guys that anybody can have, but for the ones that are reserved. the ones who we find studying alone in a library, so into their own sh*t, they hardly have time to look around. someone who knows how important family is, and values people who are close and have been there. the kind we find enjoying with their friends and treating their female friends with the respect they deserve. the ones who party hard but sleep harder. the ones who live life to the fullest but also have a dream for which they work hard.

we do not go for someone who’s emotionally unavailable. someone who everyone knows about. someone who’s the talk of the town. or someone who is different around their friends (hate it). we want someone who doesn’t give up easy. someone who knows how to hold on when it hurts. someone who’d not walk away when it gets tough, and would know when to put more efforts. someone who loves and hates with intensity — ‘the warmth burns and the coldness kills’ kind.

we go for guys who are cold. the cold we are talking about here is comes with an exception, and that is, his girl. the kind who has a cold, cold heart, but would burn himself and the world down with him, if it meant providing her warmth. when he has eyes only on her, for her kind. when everybody loves the way he smiles, but his face glows and that very smile flows on his face and through that reaches his eyes only when he sees her. the kind everybody likes but knows doesn’t have a chance with. the kind who’d start wars for you, but would not let nobody cut you. the kind that doesn’t exist in the real world. the kind that exists in books. (ok bye) -_-

©️ sharvari tadvi, 05:18 pm IST, 01/02/25

[tadvisharvari]

“ she was a book, but he wasn’t a reader.”

she wished she was the one, the one he had his eyes on. she wished she'd be the reason he'd smile, but he already blushed seeing someone.

she wished she was a flower but then he would only admire stars— even when both were beautiful

he preferred the other, as she was a rose with thorns.

she was sweet, simple and silent but he still never noticed her— she was art, she was a poetry, but sadly he wasn't a reader.

©️ sharvari tadvi, repost from 08/10/2019

[tadvisharvari]

how to break your own heart? by believing that they can change when they continuously show you they can’t.

©️ sharvari tadvi, 09:52 pm IST, 26/01/25

[tadvisharvari]

“ when you think of going back, remember why you left in the first place.”

©️ sharvari tadvi, 07:08 pm IST, 25/01/25

[tadvisharvari]

“ what you call love, it becomes.”

whatever you call love, it becomes. be it the way their eyes smile when they see you, or how your eyes cry for them when you don’t see them around you anymore. be it the way their breath calms when you hold them, or the way you go out of breath to the thought of losing them. be it the way they click random pictures of you just to create a memory and cherish it later or you seeing that photograph after years knowing you had them once and will have them the same way ever again. be it the way they took you star gazing and you gazed at the stars while they looked at you or it’s the way you look outside your window, waiting for a shooting star to fall, so you can wish for them to fall for you once again. so yeah. there’s no definition to what love is. it becomes what you want it to be. what you need it to be.

©️ sharvari tadvi, 10:24 IST, 22/01/25

[tadvisharvari]

“ how do you heal from a heartbreak you can talk to no one about?”

©️ sharvari tadvi, repost from 7:13 pm IST, 16/09/24

[tadvisharvari]

and when the person you love leaves, you feel heavy, because now you don’t know where to pour this love that you hoard inside of you.

“ when you have so much love to give but there’s no one on the receiving end, you have to gulp those loving words that feel no more loving to you. no wonder you feel sick to the stomach, because how can you swallow the love that’s not meant for you. and there’s a limit to how much you can take right? because after that, those words feel like a lump around your neck, which presses onto your throat, makes it hard to breathe, so you gasp for air. no wonder you go all breathless and you palpitate when someone you love isn’t there anymore.

your mouth feels salty, and you feel like you’ve lost appetite, because all this time you’ve been tasting your own tears; each drop reminds you of a memory with them that you know you are never gonna re-live again. so you close your eyes in order to replay it in your head.

when the person you thought you’d spend your life with leaves, when forever becomes a distant thing you might never believe in anymore, you feel this emptiness around you. it’s sudden, and it consumes you as a whole. you’ll feel so cold even on the most moist days. like the suns burning right above you but you’re surrounded by cold breezes that’s sending shivers through your spine. and this emptiness is paradoxical, it feels heavy, because now you hoard all this love which you don’t know where to pour into. and the worst part is, you can never accept it for yourself.” ©️ 09:50 pm IST, 27/01/25

©️sharvari tadvi, 12:33 am IST, 30/12/24

[tadvisharvari]

i gave you my heart and you dropped it like it was never meant to be cared for in the first place.

[tadvisharvari]

and who would not fall for his whiskey eyes?

and how do i help myself? how do i not fall every time i see him around? looking at him from a distance, admiring but cautiously, almost always ready to look away so quick he wouldn’t notice my very existence. he’d smirk, and that’s the sunshine to my day. i think of it and something inside me jumps. the kid in me feels joy.

he grooms like he’s about to go for a fashion model audition, but that’s how he exists. perfect. out of a f*cking book. dark hair and whiskey eyes. so perfect. would make anybody’s jaw drop. i mean, how can someone not fall for him?

©️sharvari tadvi, 06:40 pm IST, 19/12/24

[tadvisharvari]

loving you cost me the shine in my eyes. you took the light out of me. and i let you. because i was in love.

(i am still in love)

©️ sharvari tadvi, 07:41 pm IST, 08/12/24

[tadvisharvari]

now we wish we could bury parts of us that failed, but then they grow roots so deep, the damage reaches to the very core.

©️sharvari tadvi, 01:54 pm, 05/12/24

[tadvisharvari]

we were brilliant children but now we are just mediocre adults with no shine in our eyes.

©️ sharvari tadvi, 08:59 pm IST, 29/11/24 in @selfeducorner’s comment section on IG // here: 08:01 pm IST, 03/12/24

[tadvisharvari]

and sometimes, the only way to heal is to let them leave your heart, but again, for that, you’ll have to let them crack your heart open.

(to heal is to walk over the pieces of your heart, only this time, you’re used to the breaking)

©️sharvari tadvi, 09:19 pm IST, 28/11/24

[tadvisharvari]

‘brave to leave when you’re in love?’, well i wouldn’t know ‘cause i’d always choose to get hurt by him than the absence of him.

©️ sharvari tadvi, 7:00 pm, 24/11/24