tackytumbler

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(and all the bisexuals go wild)

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Perspective. 

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yk I haven’t met anyone with adhd who isn’t just a fucking comedian like I think everyone with adhd just has the best sense of humor

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Who I think I am vs. who I actually am

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this is a strong contender for the funniest post i have ever seen in my life

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To be perfectly clear, the scare tactic article titles that are all like “SONY IS PATENTING THE ANIMATION STYLE USED IN SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDERVERSE” are… all completely untrue.

The pending patent is for the software they used to make the movie, a software their company created and which they have complete right to patent in the same way videogame companies patent game engines and computer companies patent operating systems.

Article titles like this are either incompetent journalism, clickbait, or blatant attempts to get people to blacklist the film in a blind rage, and they are absolutely not representative of the actual circumstances.

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how to compliment someone without seeming like a fucking creep. an easy how to guide:

a) compliment them on something that they can change. don’t say ‘nice tits janice’, say something like ‘your shoes are rad’ or ‘your hair looks great’.

b) don’t be a fucking creep. if it’d weird you out if it was said to you, then it’s likely too creepy to say to someone else.

EASY.

also this pic is super strawmanny and gross. it is not hard to not be a creep.

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fewer bisexuals who are suave and seductive

more bisexuals who are incredibly awkward around their same-sex crushes b/c they were never taught how to flirt in gay

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this will forever be my favorite joke in this entire fucking game

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Doc, what are the top five items food banks LOVE to receive? I'm doing a collection soon and want to ask for specifics.

MONEY. WE WANT MONEY. MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY. WE CAN DO SO MUCH WITH IT. WE HAVE ACCESS TO DEALS YOU COULD NEVER. MONEY

That aside.

 I’m only going to talk about food items but if your food bank takes personal items, a lot of times diapers, feminine hygiene products, etc, are very very welcome. 

1) Canned chicken and beef 

looooooove this stuff. It’s expensive, it lasts forever, it tastes good and it can be used a variety of ways. This stuff is fucking catnip to food banks, it’s so hard for us to provide proteins. 

2) Fancy nut butters

Peanut butter is a standby for food banks as a shelf-stable inexpensive protein, but if we have a family with a kid with a peanut allergy that’s not going to work. Non-peanut butters are expensive and it’s something we hardly ever see donated. (we also like peanut butter, but that’s easier for us to buy ourselves than non-peanut butters)

3) Canned or packaged tuna

You may notice a trend here in shelf-stable proteins. And yeah. That’s basically it, so I’m not going to keep harping on it. But this stuff is a godsend. 

4) Easy breakfast things for kids (Granola bars, instant oatmeal, and the like) 

Whatever Donald Trump tells you, most people who get food from food banks are actually working their asses off and so they have to leave Obama to raise their baby or whatever, and they don’t have a lot of time in the morning. Things like this that kids can make for themselves are expensive. (Another trend you may be noticing–donate shit that costs a lot of money. That helps us more than all the shitty green bean cans in the world) But they are so helpful for busy working families where the parents may not have a set schedule and sometimes little Amanda is making her own breakfast before she runs off to school. Don’t let kids go to school hungry. 

5) Shelf-stable juice

This is one people never think of! But if you show up with a bunch of (preferably reduced sugar stuff) bottles of juice at my door, oh man, you are gonna get so many check mark and okay hand emoticons. This stuff is great for kids, and it doesn’t require refrigeration until it’s opened, so it works great for food drives. 

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when Ellen came out, the backlash was so harsh that she didn’t work for three years. lesbians were man-hating dyke perverts, to be kept away from children and from the public eye, and she was treated like it. when she did get back into the industry, she struggled to come back as anything more than The Lesbian who had caused all that controversy. people hated her, and by proxy hated Oprah (and sent her racist threats and insults) for her role in Ellen’s coming out.

so it’s no wonder that when she got the chance Ellen took up a talk show that allowed her to build a reputation as a friendly, happy, and utterly harmless character. since coming out, she has steered almost explicitly away from politics, especially from focusing too much on being a lesbian. she is just a friendly, smiling, liberal-leaning and generous talk show host, almost apolitical and tiptoeing around controversy where her peers (Stephen Colbert, James Corden, Conan O’Brien, John Oliver, Trevor Noah, etc.) have been able to be explicitly political.

when the Ellen netflix special comes out, I think we’re gonna see Ellen be political, be controversial, be crass or snarky or daring in ways that break severely with what we think Ellen’s personality is. And frankly, I want us all to be so ready for it, because the woman has waited so long–has seen an entire generation come and go–just to be able to be an open, successful, controversial lesbian, and i want her to be loved for it

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So, if you’re like me and work in a place with public bathrooms, you most likely have seen this shit before. Some racist fuck graffiti’d up your bathroom with nazi bullshit with a permanent marker.

Tired of this bullshit? Me too, so I’m gonna show you how to get rid of it nice and quick! 

The tools you need: A cleaner appropriate for the surface, the appropriate tool to to wipe said surfaces, and the crucial piece: A dry erase marker.

It’s embarrassingly easy to get rid of and is gonna make those nazi fucks upset that we don’t tolerate their bullshit. 

Just grab your marker…

…and draw over it

then you spray it with your cleaner and then… wipe

ta-fucking-da

now you too can use your new-found hack to get rid of sharpie graffiti

remember kids: fuck fascists, fuck nazis and racists, and fuck white supremacy 

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