sylovea

[sylovea]

[sylovea]

♡ A pink car 🫠🩷

[sylovea]

I looked back years when I couldn’t even defend myself from anything that attacked me. Somehow, I am glad that I could just avoid it. 

[sylovea]

Allah, jika aku belum baik, izinkan aku dikelilingi oleh orang baik agar aku dapat menjadi baik. Jika aku belum sholehah, izinkan aku berada ditengah-tengah orang yang tunduk kepadamu.  Allah, maafkan atas banyak hal yang belum bisa aku lakukan. Allah, sesungguhnya engkau yang berkehendak membolak balikan hati.

[sylovea]

Friendship

For once in a lifetime, I was trap in friendship that I never choose. I never ever really into it. I never really enjoy a cup of coffee, a long pointless conversation, and midnight wind.

[sylovea]

Adult

I felt the same feel that I felt when I was a kid. The one who always take the blame and responsibility.  I guess, not now. Not anymore

[sylovea]

stop arguing, save your breath and take a look at this.

[sylovea]

"Nothing is impossible," they said. The truth is you know that oil can't dissolve in water, that day and night can't ever meet, that wind and air are two different things.

[sylovea]

i just planned to go to bookstore then it started to rain and last for 8 hours. i looked away to the sky and found myself admiring the rain. that each drops never crash to the others until it touches the ground. do you ever hear that each drop of the rain was guarded by angel so that it won’t crash? once again i see water i always wanna be just like it. like you know, the water that could break the stone.

i always pray that i want to be strong. but never to win the fight. rather than to accept that things just can't be solved as i wanted. i always pray that i want to be strong. never to stand by myself but to help others even just to say that im glad to meet them.

plz, pray for me to get through whatever i may face. i’ll pray for you too. ♡

[sylovea]

everything will be much better after this, i promise.

[sylovea]

Hi, how’s everything? Hope you’re okay and doing good and save and having lots of spirit cause that’s all we need right now. Let’s pray that this pandemi bring us nothing but good. Amen.

So, I‘m trying to share my story as I guessed that I just realized something I didn’t. But by this I didn’t try to explain who I was or who I am right now cause nothing was so sure and my life is so clueless like all-the-time but I always believe on miracle. This might be a reminder for myself that I should feel blessed for every single things. :’)

So this journey was started when I was born. No, of course not. That’s gonna be a long story. This journey was started when I was graduated from collage. So I was a jobseeker. The hopeless one. I applied almost every job opportunities that came on advertisment. I had no idea of what I did or what should I became, at all.

I went to Semarang for some interview but thanked God I didn’t pass cause there would be a lot of strugle if I did even I hope that I will. Actually it’s a good and famous company but you won’t believe me if the environment is not so healthy like midnight shifts and work competition but I had no choice cause I needed job, atleast I needed experience.

I was sad but happy but sad but happy. I wasn’t even sure of what I felt. But I remembered that the HRD staff was soooo good (and handsome) and he said nice things that I could try again. Maybe this is what also called as “you can plan it but God decide it”

So that’s the first lesson. I failed but I tried to be happy even I didn’t know when will I get the next interview. :( FYI, I was graduated earlier so I guessed that I got free trial to seek any opportunities without feel bad (even I still did) Huft. Before this going too far and your mind judging me please read again the second paragraph. :(

Until I was tired to seek one by one job opportunities on the internet then I decided to subscribe some websites and blogs that like to share available jobs to our email. That was the best choice I ever made, fyuh. Until one day I receive an email that there’s an opportunity for secretary in Jakarta on the last day of recruitment I sent my application directly. After few days or weeks, I got invitation to have writing test. So I prepare myself to go to Jakarta.

I was telling my family don’t tell anyone if I was going to Jakarta. But my aunt did. And guess what happened? There was sooooooo manyyyyy speculatioooonnnns even I haven’t gone to Jakarta yet!!!!!!!

It’s only from one person, actually. There was someone saying “What’s an diploma could do in Jakarta”, “Are you really could live in Jakarta?” “My husband was laughing hearing that.” She said it to my aunt and my aunt told me in the morning when I just woke up and I cried said “I’VE TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONEEE!!!”

So my aunt was trying to seek some help for me in Jakarta, so she said to that person. She hope that I could stay in her place until I got job but this person is clearly a monster.

I already told my aunt that I would be okay but she didn’t listen.

Until the day came and I did the writing test. Everyone in the room seemed so professional while I was just blinking to the floor. :(

[sylovea]

Hug your cat today. Or don’t, if your cat hates hugs. But anyway. Happy National Cat Day from me, Olivia, Meredith, and Benjamin. 😸😸😸👱🏻‍♀️

[sylovea]

"Nak, dulu ibu mu pernah kerja disini. " 😊

[sylovea]

♥♥

[sylovea]

December. It’s the time for lovers and lonely hearts. It’s a month that can go both ways..when the snow on the ground can remind you of the cold that wells in your heart or the warmth that will soon embrace you in your lovers arms. It’s an ending, when you finally pick up the pieces of your broken heart and close the chapter to start a new one.

j0ethejellybean, writing prompt #72, write about December  (via wnq-writers)

[sylovea]

Dear my future Adam

Teach me how to drive, so I'll take the steering wheel for you while you wanna enjoy the journey and I'll let you take me anywhere in return. There's a long way to go and we wont ever stop. Ever. We have this all the way we are.

Teach me how to read a map, so I'll know where's my way back. I'll always know how to find you. I'll always know how everything is.

Dear you, this fight is ours. I won't ever let you get tired. I won't ever let you get sad. I won't ever let you fight alone. I promise. Ever.

Sincerely Me,

Your Missing Rib Bone

[sylovea]

unsure

It’s been a while to write again and here I am as you ever wonder, unsure. I thought after I graduated, I will be free from everything that stress me out but reality looks even scary than I ever imagine. 

First of all I want tell you that I’ve removed some blogs that I ever reblog in my tumblr as I realize there are too much pictures in my dashboard but if I don’t post anything you may see on my ‘likes’ page for pictures that I love. 

Talking about ‘unsure’, this used to be a way to tell you about my feelings or what just happened but I don’t know how to start it. I might have been crazy.