syahi-less

[syahi-less]

Send me quotes or phrases I'll try to write something

[syahi-less]

the art of using kajal and sadness

steady your hands, hold the stick and steady your hands, deep breaths help, not much, but helps, hold it close to your eye, meet your eyes in the mirror, look closely, are the dark circles too noticeable, you probable need something to cover those up if you want to look good with kajal, ignore your advice, stare at the tip of kajal and start applying it, take a break, your eyes have teared up, hold your breath and wipe off you tears carefully don't smudge the kajal, continue applying more, then the other eye and you've cried three times and you feel so worthless looking at yourself, you promised that you won't feel that way today, you promised that you'd apply kajal and keep your hair open and wear the cute gown and feel good about being yourself, you promised that you won't cry even if your hair looked like a mess or if your hands keep getting sweaty trying to make your hair look better, you promised that you'd smile even if your eyes look swollen and small when you do, you promised and you close the lid of kajal and tears threaten to smudge it all, it'll be easier if someone held out a paper tissue or a napkin to wipe your tears right about now, it'll be nice if no one said anything today, it'd be nice but all the nice things are 5 years away, right now you have this kajal and this sadness and the art of using both incorrectly

[syahi-less]

The easier things to write- a list because poetry lies and lies and lies:

the lies,

how easy it is to give up on getting better

like staring at the moon

sitting on the roof

have you seen the moon?

have you wanted to close the distance between you and

the moon?

don't it's not really worth it

the sunrises have hidden

the clouds cover the stars and

moon fades and flickers

and you are asleep

wind blows by

singing a sweet lullaby

and there you are

the sunset inside you wild and rampant

i'm becoming a sunset

the purples and pinks

melting

into the endless gray

black

broken by the quite peeks

of the moon

The difficult things to write- an incomplete and unnecessary list:

The truth

They way it does get better

Like the sunrise

Have you ever seen a sunrise?

Do you know the irony behind sunrises?

How was the sunrise you saw?

Was it pretty enough to wake up that early?

Oh-

My bad-

How was the sunrise?

Was it worth staying up all night?

Was it colourful?

It was too bright certainly..

But was it colourful?

Was it worth?

Wasn't the sunset better?

Wasn't light falling into darkness prettier?

Was light rising up worth?

Was getting better worth?

Yes maybe.. yeah

But the sunset, oh how romantic!

Sunrises are tiring

Sunsets are bound to come

And comes the night

And it's so difficult being a sunrise

Even more tricky is writing a sunrise

The pink and orange don't melt into purples

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

...

...

...

.... I'm becoming a sunrise

The sunset melted into a sunrise

I'm not sure about being a sunrise

But no worries

The day will slip away

Sunsets will find me

(i hope they don't bring the pain with them)

[syahi-less]

I sold my soul thrice,

The devil doesn't care.

I'm making myself a new,

Souls don't die,

Soul's just keep living,

Three solus in darkness,

One too young to be human,

Oscillating, real, dream, real, dream,

The devil is standing in front of me,

Smiling and expecting another soul.

It's too young,

Perfect!!!

I sold my soul thrice,

I made a new thrice,

In the middle of another deal,

In the middle of 2 worlds,

It's perfect how imperfect you are kid,

It's perfect you are broken,

Not everyone can sell so many souls,

And make new ones,

They all had one and they all sold it,

Come on child what are you waiting for?

[syahi-less]

ए वक्त तू क्यों भागता है?

जब वो हंसे तो रुक जाना ना,

जब वो हंसे तो रुक जाना ना,

ज़रा जी भर तो लु यहां,

मुस्कान उसकी में घर कर लु मैं..

अगर तू दो पल रुक जाना

ए वक्त तू क्यों भागता है??

तुझे आखिर कहा जान है?

कोन सी Train छूट��� जा रही है तेरी??

मुझे दो पल और दे दे उसके संग..

फिर भले ले चल अपने संग,

क्यों, अच्छा लगता है?

शाम हो और वो कहे, जाने का वक्त हो गया..

शाम ही तो सबसे Romantic वक्त होता है दिन का,

क्यों, अच्छा लगता है?

बातें खत्म होना शुरू हो और में कहूं, जाने का वक्त हो गया..

बातें खत्म होना मतलब बेमतलब की बातें शुरू होना,

बस, फिर क्या,

में कुछ भी अनर्गल एंड-बंड कहूंगा,

वो हसेगी,

और फिर में पूछूंगा,

ए वक्त तू क्यों भागता है????

~'तुम्हारा' राघव

[syahi-less]

i'm just a girl, bloodshot eyes, i'm just a girl, tired smiles.

headlights, stuck starving, daylights, stuck surviving.

i'm just a girl, sleepless nights, i'm just a girl, lost in the haze.

[syahi-less]

black and white tiles, the world turning gray, learnt to walk here, and now i can't see clear.

[syahi-less]

The difficult things to write- an incomplete and unnecessary list:

The truth

They way it does get better

Like the sunrise

Have you ever seen a sunrise?

Do you know the irony behind sunrises?

How was the sunrise you saw?

Was it pretty enough to wake up that early?

Oh-

My bad-

How was the sunrise?

Was it worth staying up all night?

Was it colourful?

It was too bright certainly..

But was it colourful?

Was it worth?

Wasn't the sunset better?

Wasn't light falling into darkness prettier?

Was light rising up worth?

Was getting better worth?

Yes maybe.. yeah

But the sunset, oh how romantic!

Sunrises are tiring

Sunsets are bound to come

And comes the night

And it's so difficult being a sunrise

Even more tricky is writing a sunrise

The pink and orange don't melt into purples

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

...

...

...

.... I'm becoming a sunrise

The sunset melted into a sunrise

I'm not sure about being a sunrise

But no worries

The day will slip away

Sunsets will find me

(i hope they don't bring the pain with them)

[syahi-less]

everyone burns out different, too direct, let me just, there were 2 candles in the same room, burning and melting as candles do, working their way into the sweet doom, one melted drop by drop as most do, one crashed down, sparks flew, the room burns down, in a fiery hue, the other candle is gone, leaving the room askew, one crashed down, other melted like candles do.

[syahi-less]

When you are let down by a God,

You pray and beg.

.

When you kill a God,

You try to become one.

.

Fingers stained with the purest blood,

Smiles and sins mean the same.

[syahi-less]

an apology,

to whoever cares.

the same song has been repeating over and over again for 3 days now. the words no longer make sense. my headphones died twice in 3 days. i'm sorry if it's getting obvious again, i'm starved and i'd die before doing something about it.

[syahi-less]

No but like fr mereko kaun hi sane smjhega 😔👍

us bro us

[syahi-less]

sitting beside a lake or something???? (prompts hehe)

sitting by a lake, re-contemplating every breath, sitting by a lake or something, when did i even end up here, how even, sitting beside lake or something, it was a lake once, i'm not sure what it's anymore, re-contemplating lakes, it looks like the pile of trash, at the corner of my room, it smells like something better, sitting beside something, it's semblance to a lake, went away a long while ago, it's more like that one line of that one song, it's less a place, more a dream, trapping from all sides, sitting beside something, it's a long way home, i am too tired, the sun drowns in it, will i too?

[syahi-less]

I've written this before,

I'm tired,

And there's nothing deep about it,

It's simple I'm tired,

Tired of saying I want to die,

When I know I won't do anything,

Tired of saying I'm crying,

When I know there is nothing to be done about it,

Tired of staring at my feet,

When I know that it paints me as anxious,

Tired of telling people that I exist,

When I know they'll forget again,

Tired of taking deep breaths,

When I know that it's gonna happen again,

Tired of trying,

When I know I'll fall again,

Tired of not being able to change anything,

I'm tired and it's tiring,

Being so tired all the time,

And I'm angry,

And I'm tired.

[syahi-less]

I'm not an artist.

I'm not a poet.

I'm just a dreamer.

A dreamer without a dream.

A void.

Avoid.

Avoid me.

I'm a dreamer with no hope.

I'm no one.

Nobody.

And just as nobody loves.

If you think nobody cares,

I do.

But don't depend on me.

I'll be gone.

[syahi-less]

i want to write something deep about my life. but that's the problem. there's nothing deep to write. there is so much but it's all so mundane. but that' exactly how it is. life. boring. a lot of trying to live. a lot of waking up. a lot of data. a lot of breathing. a lot of cursing. a lot of laughing till you can't breathe. a lot of crying till you can't breathe. a lot of breathing. a lot of repeating the same things. a lot of trying not to repeat the same things. a lot of screaming. a lot of silence. a lot of leaving. a lot of being left. a lot of falling asleep. a lot of trying to die. a lot of trying not to die. boring. death. that's how it is. exactly. so mundane. nothing deep to write. that's all there is to life. a mundane way to death.

[syahi-less]

I was talking to the god in my ceiling. We're not on good terms. I don't believe in him. He doesn't trust me. Not the ideal god-person relationship. But I talk to him sometimes. He never answers. I scream mostly. Cry and curse. Why? All this agony for what?

I was talking to the god I don't believe in and I asked him why and there was no answer. Then I asked why I remember? There was no answer. Then I asked why can't I remember? There was no answer. Then I asked why do I want it back then? There was no answer.

Maybe God is tired like me. Too tired to reply. Too in guilt to hear me. Too busy with whatever his life.

And maybe he doesn't care. Maybe he is entertained by my screaming and crying.

Maybe there is no God.

Maybe there is one.

Maybe...

I don't believe in one anyway, not anymore. My god died. I grieved him for a while. And then all you can wonder is why as life goes on.