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Positive affirmations:

I deserve a halberd

I should be given a halberd

People want me to have a halberd

I can be trusted to own a halberd

I will be given a halberd one day

People will think my halberd is incredibly hot

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Before hooking up with someone tell them “i’m… kinda weird down there. Like… you know in a lord of the rings type of way” and then refuse to elaborate

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it is deeply important to me that anders is an unpleasant hypocrite who has terrible vibes and sucks to be around. however it's also important to me that everyone is nice to him forever and be gets everything he wants on account of him being my beautiful princess with disorders

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I am obsessed with the fact that the Veilguard all gathers round to watch Solas's saddest memories and then dissects them like it's an episode of Desperate Housewives. 10/10 no notes, exactly what he deserves.

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so true

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And now, a brief look at the human fucker community on a monster version of tumblr

🐙 WetterThanYou Follow

It's so sad that humans can't breathe underwater, makes bringing them to my lair so much harder

👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow

Was anyone going to tell me humans can't breathe underwater or was I supposed to just learn that from a text post?

🐙WetterThanYou Follow

Please tell me you didn't seriously look at humans and go 'they look like they can breathe underwater'

👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow

I thought they were like lions and how some live in the sea :(

🦁BEaST-MAN Follow

DID YOU THINK SEA LIONS WERE LITERAL LIONS?!

👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow

They're not? 😭😭😭

(10,053 Notes)

🐺HereWolf Follow

Vampires will be like 'I love humans' and then transform every human they know into another vampire. Weak. You are like someone who only watches Marvel movies and calls themselves a filmbuff.

🏏Batass Follow

Hey OP this is an important part of many vampire cultures so you should tone it down because this is really offensive.

🐺HereWolf Follow

You should get a culture that isn't fucking lame.

🦁BEaST-MAN Follow

OP you are literally a werewolf. And into throwing stones in glass houses I guess.

🐺HereWolf Follow

Gurl you don't know the amount of effort I put into keeping my human girlfriend a human girlfriend because I love her for being a human.

(8,000 Notes)

💚CraftedLove Follow

In the club on a date with a human straight up breaking it. And by 'it,' haha, well. Let's just say. His sanity.

(42,069 Notes)

🧙‍♂️ Crystal-Rooster-and-Orbs Follow

Sick of getting added to group chats like 'plots to overthrow our lieges.' Yes, I am both an evil wizard and an evil vizier. But I'm not plotting any treachery because my king is also evil, and so is my queen. We are in an evil polycule and give each other evil night kisses.

🧙‍♂️ Crystal-Rooster-and-Orbs Follow

Also stop telling me about the evil queen's OnlyFans like the king and I aren't helping her run it. Who do you think is taking the pictures? You have no idea how many evil yet deeply impractical schemes it's given us the economic cushion to do.

(48,835 Notes)

🤼‍♂️Bitch-of-Heracles Follow

Need me a human who will hold me like this and just destroy me 😍

♣️HeraclesOfficial✅ Follow

Hey.

🤼‍♂️Bitch-of-Heracles Follow

WHY DID NOBODY THINK TO WARN ME HERACLES WAS ON THIS WEBSITE?!

(33,333 Notes)

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bro i LOVE indigenous fusion music i love it when indigenous people take traditional practices and language and apply them in new cool ways i love the slow decay and decolonisation of the modern music industry

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Scarlet-rumped Trogon (Harpactes duvaucelii), male, family Trogonidae, found in SE Asia

photograph by ardpixtures

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the thing i have discovered about being an adult is that every week you will have to spend 100 dollars.

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ever since i was a little girl i knew i don't want to drive

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dramatically and violently turns into a werewolf and then continues doing the same thing I was doing before

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Solas in Hades style 😊 I love making these!

A speedpaint video of this will be available at my Patreon soon!

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born a girl, grew up in the great swag boom of 2012, now i'm a boy. that's the power of #swag

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evil wizard voice: i too have a "doom scroll"