sweetsummersemen

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when your friend Mark forgets to return the worms he borrowed from you

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There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

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wanted to share my favorite reddit post ever

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You know what fuck you

*spell of bnuuy vortex*

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he’s the worst man ever invented but of course, his breasts are sublime

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tumblr please stop telling me to wd40 a mouse

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can i come over and look at you like this

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my mom just had a 7cm brain tumor removed and since she's woken up she's been talking nonstop about this dream she had about going to an art gallery full of colourful paintings by a 'homosexual artist' named klimsdorf who was ethereal and wise, both young and old... at first she was convinced he was a real person but after failing to find him online she's accepted he was a figment of her subconscious mind and is now determined to bring him to life via painting his portrait herself. she's 67 and has never drawn in her life. and now this. blorbo from her tumor

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i would have been mutuals with him

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oh so we're doing scooby doo crimes now

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ahehehehe!! Weeeeeeeeee!!! ^w^ *holding your hand and skipping with you as we are hunted for sport*

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