sweetmourningdoll

[sweetmourningdoll]

the world is ending today

i saw it in the news

i heard it on the radio

but down the streets the kids play in the cul-de-sac as always

my neighbour is watering her roses

and the young lovers carry on

the world is ending today

the beaches will be glassed

the family down the street will be evaporated into mists of blood

but here in my neighbourhood

life carries on

i scratch my cat under her chin and fill up her food bowl

and when i lay myself down to sleep for the last time

she will curl up on my pillow like she does every night

the next morning we will be nothing but dust

blown away like petals in the wind

[sweetmourningdoll]

in the AM light

i see the shadows on your jawline

counted the greys in your hair

and i loved each one of them

the years between us melt away

you pour yourself a coffee as i pour myself into you

pull me close as you whisper “mine”

and for the rest of the day

that will be my name

[sweetmourningdoll]

i will always come back for more

crawling at your feet like an unloved dog

ready to take your abuse

use me, bruise me

kill me

whatever you do

just don’t leave me

i’ll do what you want

as long as you tell me you want me

reach inside me somewhere only you can find

three fingers in me

go deep

moaning your name the way you like

[sweetmourningdoll]

i wait for you to wake up as i watch you sleep

you never looked so beautiful than when you’re next to me

for the first time, i saw you smile

and spring blooms inside of me

i say i let you go

say you mean nothing to me

but two years later

i find myself back in your bed

wearing your t shirt with my head on your chest

[sweetmourningdoll]

i take your abuse with a smile on my face

get down on my knees for you

your steel toed boot on my neck

AK-47 semiautomatic in hand

you’re so handsome when you hit me

i’ll wear the bruises like flowers in my hair

your luftwaffe, your blitzkrieg

schadenfreude

herding the deplorables to their shallow graves

gunpoint to their backs

as i blow kisses and send my love

[sweetmourningdoll]

you ripped open my old wounds

tendons and scars scabbed over from years past

and i bleed the same blood from so long ago

all the wrong choices i made

lead me back to you

i long to be your flesh

clinging so tightly to your bones

that should be me

that should be me

now i find myself crying over you again

just like i did at 18

time and time i make the same mistake

of giving you another chance

a lesson i’ll never learn

my worst sin of all is that i forgave you

but yet i hold on

waiting for a sign from you

any sign

[sweetmourningdoll]

you leave and you leave again

i don’t know how much more i can take

how long till my heart turns to ash

i wait all day for you

but deep in my soul i know you’re not coming back

but what am i to do, baby?

you’re all i had

you’re all i wanted

keep myself chained by my own good hand

come set me free

your steel toed boot on my neck

is as sweet to me as your lips against my own

[sweetmourningdoll]

i let you win

crawl at your feet like a mastiff

i’m honoured to be the one you choose to hurt

the one you felt worthy of your abuse

all these years, yet you think about me

hurt me, please

like a marionette and you’re the master

i want to lick up your pain

bruise me

cut me

just touch me

i want your violence and all your cruelty

hit me with your sweet anger

make me so no one will ever want me again

and i’ll crawl back to you in every lifetime

[sweetmourningdoll]

[sweetmourningdoll]

[sweetmourningdoll]

[sweetmourningdoll]

the weight of this world was never mine

[sweetmourningdoll]

[sweetmourningdoll]

[sweetmourningdoll]

[sweetmourningdoll]

[sweetmourningdoll]