sweaterplant

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The vanilla orchid (Vanilla planifolia). Specifically, my vanilla BEAST.

Note, I do say beast intentionally. Orchids as a whole remind me of animals more than other plants. I’m not the only one it appears... Luigi Berliocchi gives some grating laudatory passages about orchid hunters of the colonial 19th century in his book The Orchid in Lore and Legend. But he also talks about people like Hieronymus Tragus (1498-1554). Despite the awesome name, Tragus is NOT the Hieronymus Bosch Garden of Earthly Delights fame. While the latter was painting people humping giant strawberries, Tragus was only just germinating. Tragus went on to make a scientifically fanciful yet aesthetically appealing observation: orchid flowers look incredibly similar to animals. People have gone on to speculate an evolutionary mechanism for this (e.g., flowers that resemble pollinators are more likely to attract them and successfully reproduce the plant). (pp. 35-36) But long before Darwin set sail on the Beagle, Athanasius Kircher (1610-1680) speculated that orchids sprouted from animal sperm that dripped out onto the ground because --- get this --- animals liked to copulate in fields where orchids grew plentiful (pp. 36-37). We can’t blame Kircher for overlooking the fact that making love in a field of flowers is particularly romantic and inspirational; he was a Jesuit. Clerical celibacy has been enforced in the Catholic Church since the 11th or 12th century. Berliocchi expounds upon the uses and applications of vanilla elsewhere in his book. Guess what? One of the reported uses was as an aphrodisiac (pp. 110-111). The Aztec emperor Montezuma II (c.1466-1520) was reported to have used this liberally (p. 111). It must have worked because the emperor had 19 children according to Fernando Alvarado Tezozomoc, possibly a descendant of Montezuma himself and a renowned chronicler of mestizo history and language.

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Changed my profile pic

It now says, “People are selfish twats who couldn’t handle being told to wear a sweater to avert an energy crisis by certified nuclear engineer Mr. Rogers.”

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Drawing by @lord-of-wolves (tumblr), poem by @bestinsio (twitter|instagram)

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subway rat made eye contact with me and said “join us. when the train comes we slide under the tracks and feel it rumble over us like a warm thunderstorm. we live forever and we love to live” I said no thank you I am too large he turned away from me I cried -- @bestinsio (twitter|instagram)

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Zombie teeth? Adulthood is death?

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The epitome of civil discourse #owwww

Very Polite