swantvee
Swantvee
134 posts
Your local* friendly** chaotic queer ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ they/them
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swantvee ยท 28 days ago
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when i was a freshman in college i wanted to dress up for halloween because i thought surely college students would have the spirit. so i elected to put together a whole entire Skull Kid from legend of zelda majoraโ€™s mask cosplay together and wear that fucking ensemble to college on halloween.
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i step on campus and realize immediately that not one other person is dressed up. not so much as a cat ear headband. so imagine this fucking dude sitting in a class of otherwise normally dressed people looking like this. that was me. this was my 9/11
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swantvee ยท 28 days ago
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swantvee ยท 28 days ago
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trick or treat!
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Enjoy your Kink-Free Flapper Chain
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swantvee ยท 28 days ago
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in space, no one can hear you boop.
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swantvee ยท 28 days ago
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swantvee ยท 28 days ago
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โ€œweirdโ€ is just a setting on my dryer
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swantvee ยท 28 days ago
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i thought all weens were hollow in some sense?
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swantvee ยท 28 days ago
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swantvee ยท 28 days ago
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Reblog to open a rail line from your blog to the person you reblogged this from
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swantvee ยท 28 days ago
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swantvee ยท 28 days ago
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BOOBS ARE BACK
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swantvee ยท 1 month ago
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When I was little I had an irrational fear of when you tried to turn off your Windows XP and the screen would gradually turn Grey as you choose which power option to enter
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That shit was SCARY!!!
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swantvee ยท 1 month ago
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YOUNG MAN!
There's no need to feel down,
I MEAN YOUNG THEY!
I forgot your pronoun,
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swantvee ยท 1 month ago
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Gravity Falls doodles.
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swantvee ยท 1 month ago
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okay so i work in the deli of a grocery store, yeah? and today i got this guy who came up with his two twin children, around five years old. he walks up to the counter, carrying one kid in each arm, and loudly goes "oh, no, i forgot what i wanted!" and turns to the boy in his left arm and, in a perfect blues clues style voice, goes "caleb, do you remember what i wanted?" and the boy goes "half pound of yellow cheese!"
i, obviously, say "you've got it little sir!" and slice up half a pound of yellow american cheese, handing it to the little boy, who looks it over, nods, and tucks it in his lap.
then the man goes "well, we can't just have cheese on our sandwiches. but what else can we put on there?" and the little gurl in his other arm goes "half pound of ham!" so i nod and say "yes ma'am! what kind?" and she points at a random cut of turkey, so her father nods and says "like she said, honey ham!" i cut half a pound of honey ham, hand it to the little lady, she looks it over, nods and puts it in her lap.
then the man goes "now, what should we have for the side?" and the kids both simultaneously start cheering "macking cheese!!!" and the man spins on his heel and marches off, presumably to find the macking cheese.
later, the little boy comes wandering back to the counter while his father looks on and loudly and proudly proclaims that he wants to know where the mustard is. i point him to the correct aisle, he nods, says "thank you mister deli woman" and walks away.
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swantvee ยท 2 months ago
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Me finally remembering to post the piece I drew for @tohgrimoire! ^^ This zine was an awesome experiance and I hope everyone who got a copy adores it!
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swantvee ยท 2 months ago
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starting a compilation of my favorite "no thank you" buttons from when they want you to subscribe so bad
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