survivingthedarkdays

[survivingthedarkdays]

03.28.24

[survivingthedarkdays]

the truth is, nobody will think you’re pretty unless you’re skinny.

[survivingthedarkdays]

I don’t know where to rant , so here it is I guess .

I feel disgusting. My partner practically won’t touch me unless it’s for his own pleasure ( even though he claims he loves making a women feel good alone ), and started watching porn .

Tonight ( tmi) was a whole “ I’m going to give you head night “ , which honestly, I won’t lie, I got excited for -

Went inside , washed up and shaved quick - and he’s asleep with no words to be said .

I guess that’s the start of my 36 hour fast ( starting now ) .

I hate feeling so gross and untouchable .

I was what he wanted months ago -

What changed ?

[survivingthedarkdays]

everything was going so good too :<

[survivingthedarkdays]

[survivingthedarkdays]

Hi 🩷 Im starting all over again I have Been doing so well with my 20-4 fast and cutting off any drinks other than water but Sadly I stopped and started binging.

Starting today 9pm and will be fasting until 5pm tomorrow and start again 8pm so I'll be fasting 8pm-4pm and having small meals between 4pm-8pm (also exercising and drinking only water)

Crossed fingers 🤞

[survivingthedarkdays]

Oh -

I think I found an ana tip that nobody every came up with before <33 ( I mean I think so, I've never seen anyone mention it)

If you vape then you know swallowing the vape can make you nic sick, and cause you to lose appetite and even throw up

It's painful but if you go to bed right after the pain will go away and you still won't have appetite when you wake up for a while

Also, it tastes good and makes you feel full

[survivingthedarkdays]

are you ok?

no the fuck not, I eated

[survivingthedarkdays]

how do I skip dinner?

it’s the only meal I have with my family and they really look into what I eat a that point

pls I need tips

[survivingthedarkdays]

[survivingthedarkdays]

[survivingthedarkdays]

the realization this brought me made me cry actual tears.. [not mine]

[survivingthedarkdays]

i’m starting to absolutely hate being on my phone but i don’t know how else to distract myself from the horrors

[survivingthedarkdays]

i love receiving sweet messages

[survivingthedarkdays]

could be us

[survivingthedarkdays]

maybe in another universe i’m not hurting the people i love

[survivingthedarkdays]