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I WON AT DOGE 2048!!! THIS IS MY GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT, BRO, I HAVE PEAKED!!

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one thing I’m grateful to my mom for is telling me from a very young age that if a man ever says he’ll kill me if I don’t do what he says, that I should fight and die. that it would be better to die than to be brought to a second location, it would be better to die instantly than live a little longer after god knows how much violation. i know that other people’s moms gave different advice, to be quiet so you can live and get away. little girls all got some kind of advice on what to do, though, huh? like… WHEN a man wants to hurt you. it’s surreal to think about how this shadow affects the landscape of girlhood

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answered a scam call today and had the most bizarre conversation

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Richie: Hey, Ben, how do I get revenge on my enemies?

Ben: The best revenge is letting go, and living life to the fullest!

Richie:

Richie: Stan, how do I-

Stan: Brick.

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accidentally made him too vogue. oof

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what does it mean when you can’t believe a person exists?

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romantics be like am i in love or do i just have a fever

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that awkward moment when you realize your existence

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i’ve hated the meaning of my name for so long bc it’s “princess”. i had always thought it was a weak title, which now i know is stupid. i had always been like “i’m no princess! i’m a warrior!”, but today, in my bta class, our teacher made us look up the meaning of our last names and mine means “warrior”. my name literally means “princess warrior” and if that isn’t the most coolest, badass shit i have ever heard

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this girl in my p.e. class called me “the human embodiment of a corgi” and quite frankly, that’s the best compliment i’ve ever received

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“Do you want to talk about it or be distracted from it” is honestly the best thing you can say to me when I say im sad/in pain etc.

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OTP AU Ideas:

1.~I’m riding a ferry when somebody steals my wallet and shoves me overboard, leaving me stranded five miles from shore; ten minutes later, I’m clinging to a piece of driftwood when you ride up in a sailboat, throw me a lifejacket, and say you’ll give me a ride if I’ll pretend to be your girlfriend at an upcoming family reunion, and seriously dude, I’m about to drown and what the hell, fine, just get me on the damn boat. 

2.~My parents are forcing me to attend a support group and the head psychologist is a gullible idiot, so you and I have a competition to see who can tell the most outlandish sob-story without getting caught.

3.~I’m a regular sleepwalker, and one night I wander into the middle of the street, fast asleep, and almost get hit by a taxi before you push me out of the way. I wake up on the sidewalk with you checking my wallet for an I.D. and I think you’re robbing me, so I start punching and screaming and…wait…you saved my life? In that case, I’m really sorry about your black eye, and you’re super cute, so…can I have your number?

4.~My vet just diagnosed my hamster as ‘depressed and obese’ and said to buy a Tupperware coffin for its inevitable death, but I’m determined to save it, so I start taking it on daily walks at the dog park. Today, your dog ran up and tried to eat my hamster, and I’m about to scream at you for the attempted murder, but wait…aren’t you that rich celebrity I saw on tv? All right, then—fork up a twenty and we’ll call it even. No, that’s not blackmail, I’m trying to—you’re  offering me a date instead? Well, I’ve heard the expensive seafood restaurant downtown is good….

5.~We’re strangers that always sit next to each other on the bus, and I’m trying to get my nerve up to ask you out (I bought movie tickets and everything), but since you suddenly stop showing up, I decide to go on a wild goose chase to find you—the movie tickets are non-refundable, after all.

6.~I’m at the store returning a box of condoms when you come up, hug me, and proceed to tell me everything about your own failed sex life and reassure me that things will be better someday. By the time we’ve reached the story of your seventh failed hookup, I honestly don’t have the heart to tell you that I’m asexual and the condoms were a practical joke from my friend. But you sound really heartbroken, so…wanna get a coffee?

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know your rights

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welcome to my yeet and greet

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going thru phone pics and found this thing that was tacked up next to the toaster at my old job, if anyone needs some light toast eating reading material