supertalentedghostbassist

[supertalentedghostbassist]

I lied. Eccles is my favorite to play, but no longer my favorite to listen to because I have strong opinions on how it should sound and the only recordings that agree are @boopboopboopbadoop‘s and the professor’s

In case anyone was wondering, my favorite bass solo to listen to is the Eccles Sonata, but my favorite bass solo to play is Vivaldi’s Sonata 2.

[supertalentedghostbassist]

Ok never mind, just say my name three times, don’t hurt yourself

If you want to summon me, just summon me like any other ghost.

Say “Jeremy McGordon” in a mirror three times and will announce my presence with the 16th note section of the Koussevitsky bass concerto

[supertalentedghostbassist]

This post did not age well.

I think my biggest flaw as a supernatural being is that I’m that voice in every bassist’s ear when they’re sick like “you can stand up for 3 minutes without feeling like you’re actually gonna die, you should practice…”

I’m very persuasive.

[supertalentedghostbassist]

There are two types of bassist hands (and I think you’ll find you agree with me, @anywaystheworld)

• Blister Risk 100%, they’re big, they’re deep, and you Just Can’t Stop Them. The blisters are the only constant thing in your life. 

• Blister? Now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time... 

[supertalentedghostbassist]

I think my biggest flaw as a supernatural being is that I’m that voice in every bassist’s ear when they’re sick like “you can stand up for 3 minutes without feeling like you’re actually gonna die, you should practice...”

I’m very persuasive.

[supertalentedghostbassist]

So I hear @anywaystheworld is trying to find me? Girl, you only gotta say my name in the mirror three times! ... or just once... anywhere. I’m not picky, ok? I mean we’ve met before, so what if you didn’t technically know I was there?

I’m a figment of collective imagination from BG’s high school orchestra class, often used as a scapegoat for shenanigans in the bass section. The honorary sixth sectionmate (and arguably the most important THANK YOU VERY MUCH).

Now that high school is over, I stick around BG. I could have gone with anyone else, since they all believed in me, but I was a figment of her imagination first, and hey, a ghost has got to be loyal.

I’m sure BG has told you a bit about me and how I came to be though, I’m kind of a big deal. I am Jeremy McGordon, the Super Talented Ghost Bassist, after all!

[supertalentedghostbassist]

I am livid.

@boopboopboopbadoop ‘s boyfriend, my second favorite former sectionmate, pokes her in the ribs and then had the AUDACITY to blame ME!

I would NEVER!

[supertalentedghostbassist]

Just to be clear, I keep posting @boopboopboopbadoop ‘s weird little jingle because I’m glad she’s done with it.

I mean imagine having to listen to the same stupid little cello run for like an hour straight because she just HAS to have a perfect take!!!

Also, do you like my new profile pic? I am a ghost and therefore can’t be in pictures, so the talented @deathsmallcaps drew me.

It looks exactly like me!

[supertalentedghostbassist]

You captured my likeness perfectly and gave me an impeccable bow grip

Since the wonderful Don Boop (@boopboopboopbadoop) won my February contest, here’s her commission! There’s a ghost named Jeremy McGordon @supertalentedghostbassist in the band room, and he likes to play the bass.

[supertalentedghostbassist]

I was once packing up at the prof’s house and his wife was vacuuming and she handed me an absolutely filthy microfiber cloth and it was the most awkward thing to be like uhhhh this isn’t mine

[supertalentedghostbassist]

(Overheard in bass studio)

“Yeah, my mom made everyone gift bags for Valentine’s Day”

“Ah, yes, that explains The Cronch”

[supertalentedghostbassist]

Say no thanks

I have to sit on my duct tape to stop dogs from taking it. I have only one roll left.

[supertalentedghostbassist]

Hey @boopboopboopbadoop why the fuck are you making me do that jazz thing again? Miss me with your weird atonal shit I don’t care if it’s “Art” or “fun” we got BLISTERS!

[supertalentedghostbassist]

Has anyone seen my microfiber? It’s green and filthy.

[supertalentedghostbassist]

Update: His aunt somehow remembers @boopboopboopbadoop in the same exact context

A former sectionmate came over for thanksgiving and @boopboopboopbadoop‘s mom’s MIL kept asking him about bass.

He quit years ago. And hasn’t touched one since.

Awkward…

[supertalentedghostbassist]

Bonus points if you can guess which one was the prof

Out of context bass studio quotes

“Shens are not my kink. Plain and simple.”

“Hello I swear I’m not stealing”

“I mean how do I tell him my hand hurts”

“I feel like I have the bottom half and you have the top half” “No, I really feel like I’ve got the bottom and you’ve got the top”

“You can poke holes in my shoe”

“I am going to demand they give me a new nub and one of the giant shiny gift bows. I want a fucking gift bow.”

“What an extravagant amount of space”

“Can somebody watch my bass I need to go microwave a tamale”

(throwing a scarf in the air repeatedly) “I’m creating an environment”

[supertalentedghostbassist]

I met F on Monday. She seems nice. Maybe I can possess her one day if she’s feeling tired.