supernaturalgrounds

[supernaturalgrounds]

Creating your future self

She stands on the edge of creation calling into the wild, "I am strong, I am healthy, I am vibrant, I am brave, I am enough, I am"

She masterfully speaks the secrets of her heart into existence. Creating real solid matter from passion, desire and longing for something bigger. She has blind faith. A true sense of knowing that if you ask, it shall be given. So she asks, and the hosts of angels respond answering her with a resounding, Yes.

If I look back 10 years or 20 years I hardly recognize myself from that lost and broken girl. Sometimes I read something I wrote or see a video of myself and cringe. I can see the pain and shame on her like a brightly colored oversized coat. I see her trying too hard.

She's hard to miss. Too loud, too much.

Lately though, I have been working towards having grace and admiration for that spirited little thing. Look at what she did to get us here!

Too loud, too much made waves. She was BIG and sometimes obnoxious. She loved to skate and played roller derby for 8 years! She wrote songs about love and songs about heartbreak and she sang them out loud to anyone who would listen. She went to school and got a nursing degree. She worked in end of life care and graciously held space for families as their loved ones passed from this life to the next. She loved big and she made big mistakes. She tried almost everything (good and bad) looking for purpose and a place to belong. She lost as well. Hurt some, healed some. She kept going. She Graduated with a 4.0 and a graduate degree in family medicine. She built a series of very successful businesses. Raised a child. Started a podcast. Learned to forgive.

And I am so glad she did. Because here I am now.

I know a sense of peace. I have a beautiful home. I am blessed to have good friends and I have a kind husband. We have 13 chickens, 4 sheep, 2 pigs, 2 badly behaved dogs and 1 old crotchety cat. Life is pretty good.

When I try to imagine my future self, the woman I am creating, the woman I am still meant to become she is like trying to define details through warbled glass. I can see her outline, her shape and get a taste of her essence but she is still a mystery.

I am making small deposits everyday for that future me. I am working towards balance and discipline. Working towards fulfilling my calling, my true purpose.

I once heard it said that it can hard now or hard later, you pick the hard. I think that means that the work up front is just that...work. Building this life can feel really hard. But the work now is worth it for that future self.

I remember being 13 years old in my bed in a state run children's home and feeling so alone.

I prayed for someone to save me. Looking back across time and space, I hold space for that girl. I whisper to her that I am here and we have done the work. It get's better.

I imagine my future self sending me love and encouragement through the ethers of time and can't wait to see what else we can do.

[supernaturalgrounds]

The boar can be found as a powerful symbol throughout many cultures. Celtic cultures hold it as a symbol of strength, abundance and fertility. They are magical, strong, and when provoked sometimes very destructive. Defining characteristics include fertility, abundance, courage, ferocity and destruction. They are shy and independent unless cornered.

The boar is a powerful spirit animal appearing through many cultures. Many gods and goddesses are said to have kept the company of the boar. Freya the goddess of land and fertility claimed that Hildisvini "battle swine" was a good friend. The Roman goddess Diana sent the calydonian boar to destroy the land and Heracles was tasked with capturing a boar.

To dream of the boar or receive it in a message is an invitation to move forward, to stop procrastinating and to address things head on. We often try to stay to ourselves and avoid confrontation. We ignore our intuition in hopes that we are wrong or that those involved will slip into alignment with what we want. This rarely is the case. We all have our own path to follow.

That quiet knowing, that feeling in our gut that something isn't quite right is a reminder to stop and listen and to trust in that knowing. The rational mind cannot grasp the tethers of the soul or the powerful energetic forces that guide our souls journey. You can listen and learn the lesson now or it is promised to return again and again until you do. The boar invites us to meet these uncomfortable situations head on and to simply resolve them.

It is a reminder that if you do these things then with that personal growth comes confidence and healing. This healing will bring in the creation of a magnetic energy that will draw in abundance, prosperity, and wealth.

What is it you are being called to face?

[supernaturalgrounds]

Image of an Angel

My first job out of nursing school was working in medical oncology. In school I had hoped to become an ER nurse and applied for one of the two coveted positions. I was certain I would be selected for the position. I had worked in the ER prior to school and set out to become an ER nurse from the beginning. I also was top of my class, was in student government, was a founding member of nursing students without borders, was in the honor society, as well as held the position of VP of the student nurses association. I worked directly with the selection committee and could not imagine a world where i would not get any position I sought.

I was surprised to find that when the selections were made, I was placed in a 6 month integrative practicum in Oncology. I was working with people that were receiving new cancer diagnosis, receiving long courses of in patient chemotherapy or other transfusions, as well as those transitioning through end of life.

This position was the LAST position I would ever dream of wanting. I was terrified of death. I had certainly never thought about having to work smack in the middle of it. Yet here I was.

When I asked my clinical instructor why I was placed here she told me that ER was a party, and while she knew I would excel wherever I was placed, she did not think it would be good for my soul. So into med Onc I went.

I got hired after school and began my career as a cancer nurse and end of life guide. During the first year, I realized how sensitive I was to the energy of those who were dying. I could often sense when someone was ready to go. I could be wrapped up in juggling 30 things and get the deep impression that I had to go now to a specific patient room and arrive within minutes to stand witness to their passing. Some people might call this gift a second sight or some other psychic ability. I think it is likely more a form of intuition. When we listen, trust and act incredible things can happen.

Most people transition through the active dying process fairly quickly. There is a predictable pattern that is followed and most people just follow it. Sometimes, though, people get stuck. They defy all logic and may linger on the edge of death for weeks. For those people, I would often be visited in my dreams.

I called it bringing them home with me. They would show up in my dreams and tell me what it is they were waiting on or why they were still here. One man was waiting for his son to come. They had been estranged and he was waiting for him to come make peace. I tracked him down, made a call and he declined to come. It felt sad to hear he would not make the trip, but it is not for me to judge. I did not live their relationship. Relationships and impending death are complicated. He told me to tell him he wasn't coming. So I did. I went into the room, placed my hand on his chest, let him know I had spoke with his son and that he could not make it. I told him it was okay to go. He took two deep breaths and left.

Another woman had suffered a massive stroke. She was unable to walk, talk, or control bodily functions. She had no chance of recovering any quality of life. She had stage 4 lung cancer on top of this. She was dying. Her family elected to start comfort measures. She was a prominent professor and was so grief stricken by her disability and impending death that she would weep and cry out. She was no longer eating or drinking but continued to linger for 3.5 weeks. It defied all physical logic. The human body should not be able to sustain but she endured. She finally visited my in my sleep. She told me was afraid to leave her family behind and afraid of what would happen to them. So the next day I came in and shared what I felt they needed to know. They each took some intentional time to let her know they would be okay and that it was okay to let go. Once each one had said their peace she quietly passed within the hour.

I have many similar stories and experiences during that time I worked in medical oncology. It was one of the most fulfilling positions I held. It brought me through my fear of death and to a place of peace and acceptance. It is as natural and beautiful as birth. A sacred space that is an honor to experience and has forever changed me.

I have always been good at manifesting exactly what I want and when not that, certainly exactly what I need. I think we ignore and turn off that gentle yet deep knowing that guides the current of our lives. If we ground down, ask the right questions, trust and listen to what the answer is and then act then there is so much magic that can unfold. I remember these things this morning as I contemplate my current direction in life. I am leaning into reconnecting to my intuition.

This morning my coffee grounds gifted me the image of the angel. She is the gentle reminder to trust my intuition and know that everything in my life is being divinely guided.

[supernaturalgrounds]

Supernatural grounds is born

My coffee sends me messages. It has for the past year or so. Weird, right? At first I kind of ignored them. They were pretty little images left in the bottom of the cup. I would pause take a moment to search the sediment for a recognizable pattern and marvel at the intricate designs then toss the cup into dishwasher.

A few months ago I took a photo and sent it to a friend. We have been friends for about 20 years and often have "coffee" together over Facetime about once a week. She was exited about the photo and felt like it had to have some meaning. Over the past several months I have started to collect the images. I don't get one every day but the days that I do, I snap a quick pic.

After a quick google search, I discovered that there is a practice of divination that is done with coffee grounds and other forms of sediment. According to google, Tasseography (also known as tasseomancy, tassology, or tasseology) is a divination or fortune-telling method that interprets patterns in tea leaves, coffee grounds, or wine sediments. How cool is that?

Now my coffee date friend, Char, is quite enamored with these messages. I was compelled to send the first few to her. In fact a few months ago my coffee cup specifically sent me a word. It said "Boy" with the image of what appeared to me to be 4 heads. Char has 3 daughters and one is pregnant with her first child. After sending her the photo it was a few weeks later we found out that she was in fact carrying a boy. So I think some of them are meant for her.

I do think though that Some of them are for me and sometimes I think they are for someone out there. Maybe they are for you. I don't pretend to know how to read these grounds. I may consider learning more about the art of divination but for now, I thought I would drink, snap, and post for a while.