superdemilockwizard

[superdemilockwizard]

[superdemilockwizard]

saw it before it went to buzzfeed

[superdemilockwizard]

[superdemilockwizard]

if i was planning a big crime i’d spend the years leading up to it innocuously getting restraining orders on every cop in the city. then when they try and stop me i’d be like BOOM whos the criminal now? bitch. 

[superdemilockwizard]

The Hunger Games, Actual Teen style!

On the left, 15-year-old Josh Hutcherson.

On the right, 16-year-old Jennifer Lawrence.

Think how much creepier it would be to see them killing other kids when they look so squishy-cheeked and little.

[superdemilockwizard]

human beings are the funniest, if you gave a person a pile of alphabet magnets and two boxes labeled “even” and “odd” they’d start trying to sort the letters into the boxes immediately

[superdemilockwizard]

Heroes

I grew up in a world full of heroes. Their faces were graffitied on every wall, plastered on posters _ their names screamed at government buildings by people who had never met them. They were not humans, they were something other, something to stoke emotions and outrage and to inspire more people to join them on the walls and on the posters _ to inspire more heroes.  

The new heroes joined the faces on the walls but they never knew it. We called them martyrs and praised their sacrifice but sacrifice requires a choice. Those faces on the walls were children and we called them heroes because heroes make choices, heroes make sacrifices, heroes don’t fear death, heroes don’t feel pain, heroes are not terrified children, who get shot in the back running from protests, who die from infected torture wounds in overcrowded cells. 

We call them heroes because we can’t stand the fact that they’re human. When we say “I could never do what they did” we’re implying that they had a choice _ that what happens to them is different from what happens to us because they’re heroes. And now more and more people are being forced to risk their lives so that we can live and instead of asking why they’re forced to do so, we call them heroes.

[superdemilockwizard]

even the wimpiest turkey is fuckin ripped to a chicken

[superdemilockwizard]

[superdemilockwizard]

I can feel…the serotonin and dopamine dropping…i need to make…Crafts

i must make…

b e a d l i z a r d

[superdemilockwizard]

vampires who constantly lie poorly about their age

“i did not survive the rise and fall of mesopotamia for this” “um, you grew up in vermont”

“i don’t count as a senior citizen i’m only 52″ “last week you told me you were born in the 18th century″

[from an obviously middle-aged vampire, delivered deadpan] “of course i’m moody i’m a teenager”

[superdemilockwizard]

The TARDIS as seen on the first episode of Doctor Who, 1963.

[superdemilockwizard]

Harley & Ivy

[superdemilockwizard]

[superdemilockwizard]

i kinda feel bad for oedipus b/c everyone assumes he chose to fuck his mom when in fact he went out of his way to avoid it. he left his hometown and distanced himself from his parents because he was afraid he would somehow get tricked into fucking his mom. everything could have been avoided if his adopted parents told him he was adopted.