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The Tale of Parnabas Eshirakita

The Tale of Parnabas Eshirakita

There is a select faction of humanity visiting Khushianda who are tempted to claim that it is a place with a history written in grey letters. Such a prejudgement is a risky affair, though, as it threatens concealing all that is good and beautiful, black and holy, deep and tight, in short, goodness, in that sorry statement of a reckless impatience. Its serene airs, not the least ruffled by the…

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Dear Sara

Dear Sara,

I also want to be a good man. Good men attend the wedding of their granddaughters and threaten the boys for fun. I want to grow old in happiness. Tell stories to the little rascals and let them marvel at the legendary life I exploited when I still had a name. Won’t they buy that I was the biggest legend in town?

I have spent the last six years crossing town in the morning, and when…

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Monday Morning We wake up to go back to the work we don't like anymore. We wish we don't do the job.

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When Papa Falls

One day Papa will die.

Women will cry and tear themselves to pieces and drown in their tears. Men, forlorn and sad, will assemble in small gatherings and shake heads in hushed lamentations. A cloud of grief will descend upon the village. It will be quiet. It will be chaos. It will be sad. Papa will be dead.

When Papa Falls

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In the Cave of Man

In the Cave of Man

It’s Sunday. Clap. The only piece of my week when I get to rest ever since she moved back in. Monday to Saturday is always about why I didn’t fold the socks or why one shoe is not in the rack or why I’m not responding to her nagging or why I didn’t eat my food. Imagine. The food I bought with my own money in my own house after working at Patel’s with my own two hands. So on Sunday this miracle…

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Return To Sender

Return To Sender

In strict terms, our story begins at Kayole. In the depths of truth and nature. Have you ever asked what laws dictate nature? Nobody knows. My landlord recently repainted his house and renamed it from Hard Work House to Leafy Runda Villa. He said nature is change. Now I no longer live in the old brown apartments even though I still live there. If you get lost you just need to say…

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Matilda Okwimbikiti

Matilda Okwimbikiti

Your wife is a serial sadist. Common chaps could have their version but this is the sad truth. The jovial woman who moves with long dresses and who laughs even at flies is a first-rate witch. A devil. 

When she meets people she smiles and shows them her white teeth. She hugs strangers and gives a lot to charity. She talks about God so much and says good words to everyone.…

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Out There

Any person who climbs and stands at the Haile Selassie footbridge near our Landhies-Ring Road roundabout must be both courageous and strong. Strong because otherwise an unknown friend will smoke you out. And when you reach out there you will discover that the only thing you have left on you is you. Of course people will watch the whole movie in awe. But stand guided that nobody will rescue you…

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Birthday Queen

birthday

Keeping quiet is a powerful exercise to the mind. But the girls sitting next to me don’t know anything about this. Over the last one hour they’ve howled, cried, shrieked, mooed and I don’t know what else is in store for the remaining distance. I’m traumatised already. Next time I’ll think hard before accepting to sit in a bus next to girls with small painted lips. Instead of planning how…

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Amani Mwimali, Duke of Eshiakhulo

Amani Mwimali, Duke of Eshiakhulo

On evenings when I leave Patel’s early enough, I spend my time on the mattress basking in the dark and musing over the sins I’ve committed under the sun. Some of them amuse me, others make me feel stupid. I am that sentimental that something I did in 1927 still haunts me and makes me ashamed even when alone and in the confines of this thing whose rent I pay myself.

Maybe that is how I should…

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Going Home

When you’ve been hunting money in Nairobi for long enough and now a burnout has accumulated in your small head, time usually comes for you to lay down your tools and go back home.

You will feel it. Home beckoning. Through dreams. Psychiatric fits. Ancestors calling. Your neighbour will start to annoy you. The weather will get ugly. You will contract a funny tooth ache. Tidings of spirits buried…

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The Colony

The Colony

You look at the wall. Photos of your wife. One with her parents, several on her graduation day, another two of the wedding day. It’s funny she doesn’t bother to pitch yours there. Not that it matters, but this is still Africa, and the king of the jungle must be made omnipresent in all subtle manifestations of life. It is called protocol and protocol is not subordinate. 

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Bachelor's Degree

Bachelor’s Degree

When finally the tribulations of a 21st century bachelor are brought to the classroom for study, the world will be shocked.

The plight of an African child is huge. Research has evidence. But when you add this to the fact that the child is a bachelor living in an era where fathers have become capitalists with little yam to bequeath their sons, you start having an idea the turbulence tides the boy…

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Bound

There are nights when, for lack of better things to do, I find myself dreaming of peaceful and welcoming streets in this damnation of ours. I dream of spectacular sunsets and warm night breezes and nights where I can see the beauty of the moon and stars in the sky. Sometimes in those dreams I am a towering creature with giant rolls of eyes that rotate over my head and see everything, and an…

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Fathers in the dark

Fathers in the dark

When do you think the lights are coming back? I don’t know. Guess. How? This is supposed to be your house. My house right, but now my mind is busy. Can’t think about a company rationing electricity. See you too busy. What’s cooking on your phone? I’m writing a story. You? Writing a story?

You and I

Yes, unfortunately. And a masterpiece for that. (more…)

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Hessy wa Kayole

hessy-wa-kayole

We are in the house for the evening. She is helping with the dishes while I burn something to eat. Today is unusually cold and quiet. The outsider would say it is because today is Sunday and people have retired this early to rest their bodies so they can report to their masters tomorrow in good time. It is the wrong side of the year to be fired because of arriving at work late.…

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You and I

You and I

Three years ago I had a decent job and a rotating chair. My office was at the furthest end of the block on the top floor and so, yes, privacy and majesty were my portion too. I was fresh from two places, college, and the village. This must be the reason I used the lift up and down the office, took photos taking tea and kept a small secret in the staff kitchen because I had a phobia for…