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flirting: omggg haha that amulet is so neat! Do you mind if I hold it?

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endless, tiresome pursuit

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i dont owe you an explanation

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being john tavares is like. i’m a middle-aged man with a wife and three kids. i was once the captain of the toronto maple leafs. i got sued for tax evasion. i was drafted first overall. i’m the most hated man on long island. i’m the reason the OHL 15-year-old exception exists. i was once canada’s golden boy. montreal almost killed me. i’m a lululemon girl. i’m the reason the NHL doesn’t participate in the olympics. i’m running a multi-level marketing scheme for a cursed amulet that repels 5G. i led toronto to its first playoff win in twenty years. the most important tournament i’ve ever played almost ruined my career. i have a kombucha tap in my house. i’m an ambassador for red light therapy. i’m a mother to matthew knies. i slayed the dragon. i’m a hockey superstar. i’m the most important leaf. i’m never going to get what i want. i’m clinically insane. i’m just Some Guy.

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oh 1634 the way you continue to haunt me

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rooting for the underdog in sport only you realise the reason that they're the underdog is because they're fucking terrible

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do i actually like sport or do i just want to watch a grown man have a worse day than me

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THE devotionshipping trope is "are they loyal to me or to my title" and the answer HAS to be that they genuinely don't differentiate between the two and are confused and slightly alarmed by the question

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humming sweet caroline to myself

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juuse between two mountains 😭

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the edmonton polycule is so entertaining because whether you’re a truther or not, the way they just Keep Doing these things is so funny 😭 because what do you MEAN connor/leon/celeste/lauren are all on a honeymoon together right now

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"they should shrink him down and post him on petfinder" <- normal thought to have about a hockey player

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no arty next season guys should i kms

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Made this weird drawing—thanks to all the goalies for their hard work in the 24–25 season, and thanks to my friend Chen for the help.

*No goalies or animals were harmed

**Fixed the number error

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I made this last night

Taglist @bepbops @lewispitlane

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can u imagine being captain of the team that drafted you, living in the city that you’ve spent your entire adult life in, and preparing to head into your 7th season alongside players you have spent your entire NHL career playing with. having been a norris-winner and runner-up in the previous two years, respectively. and people keep trying to push a “he’s leaving in 2 years to play with his brothers” rhetoric. like genuinely i’d be so pissed 😭

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who needs common interests when you’ve got common hatred