sunshinemorningstar

[sunshinemorningstar]

SPOILERS for season 1 of Squid Game

I noticed something interesting about 001’s supposed reason to return to the game.

I'm quite late to the party, but I was watching episode two, where we explore the reasons each character returns to the game, and something I noticed was that 001's reason was very different to everyone else's. All the other characters were pushed to desperation due to their financial situations, leaving them functionally out of options, while 001 cites his terminal disease. The thing is, it's easy to cite a lack of finances for hospice care, or even just healthcare in general, but he doesn't, and it's representative of his wealth and privilige, his disconnect with the people he is playing the game with, that he doesn't think to do so, as well as a subtle clue in that he is not truly one of them.

[sunshinemorningstar]

Trials of Apollo animatic wip

Edit: Just realized that things would probably make a lot more sense with the script, so here it is :)

(Keep in mind, this is something I made for a drama project, so a lot of this is whittled down to be comprehensible to people who haven't read ToA- also the reason for the stage directions in the script)

(Music passage 1)

Meg: So, a god again, huh?

Apollo: Indeed, but I will not continue like before. I've learnt from my mortality, and Olympus is… 

Meg: Messed up?

Apollo: Yes, that. 

Meg: Hah, no surprises there. So, what'll you do about, y'know, your dad?

Apollo: I… don't know yet, but what he did… does to me, it isn't right, and neither is what he does to demigods, or… the rest of Olympus, and he cannot be allowed to continue

I broke free on a Saturday morning

I put the pedal to the floor

Headed north on Mills Avenue

And listened to the engine roar

(Music Passage 2)

Meg: So, you've been hanging out with your relatives, huh?

Apollo: My godly siblings, yes. We've not always been kind to one another, but I hope we can be, in the future. You understand.

Meg: Yeah, it's nice to get to know some of my siblings without Nero breathing down our necks

My broken house behind me and good things ahead

A girl named Cathy wants a little of my time

Six cylinders underneath the hood crashing and kicking

Aha! Listen to the engine whine

I am gonna make it through this year if it kills me

I am gonna make it through this year if it kills me

(Music Passage 3)

Meg: So, a revolution?

Apollo: He cannot be allowed to act without recompense, I cannot chance that he will hurt my family again, not you, or my children, or Artemis or any of my divine siblings

Meg: (sits down) …Or you

Apollo: Or me. 

I played video games in a drunken haze

I was 17 years young

Hurt my knuckles punching the machines

The taste of Scotch rich on my tongue

(Music Passage 4)

Meg: (getting up, begin slowly walking off) So, what's it you wanted to talk about?

Apollo: …I got Athena on board

Meg: (stops) Oh

Apollo: We're confronting him tomorrow

Meg: Okay… Don't die, dummy

And then Cathy showed up and we hung out

Trading swigs from a bottle all bitter and clean

Locking eyes, holding hands

Twin high maintenance machines

I am gonna make it through this year if it kills me

I am gonna make it through this year if it kills me

I drove home in the California dusk (Come on stage; take quiver)

I could feel the alcohol inside of me hum (Pause and emotionally prepare)

Pictured the look on my stepfather's face (Open door)

Ready for the bad things to come (Draw arrow; Zeus turns; Fire)

I downshifted as I pulled into the driveway (Lightning thrown; Dodge + Explosion; Another shot)

The motor screaming out stuck in second gear (Shot lands; Lighting thrown; Lightning blocked with arms)

The scene ends badly as you might imagine (Lightning; Lightning)

In a cavalcade of anger and fear (Reach for arrow; Realize the strike is coming, and fall to the ground at “fear”)

There will be feasting (sparks in the corner) and dancing (sparks in the corner) in Jerusalem next year (Tableau as Apollo has his anime power of friendship flashback)

I am gonna make it through this year if it kills me (Get up with great difficulty; Stumble)

I am gonna make it through this year if it kills me (Take arrow, step to strong beat— make + through, stab at “kills me”)

(Music Passage 5)

The aftermath; reeling from his bittersweet victory in the first half

Apollo: I… I did it… We won… (relieved, scared, tired smile)

Olympian throne room bg swirls and fades as if teleportation; Aeisthales

Apollo: (~Eye contact of understanding~) …hey Meg…

Meg: (~Pause of processing~) …You did it, you killed him

Apollo: Yeah…

Meg: So, what's next?

Apollo: I… don't know, but… there's time to find out 

[sunshinemorningstar]

You know what would be so cool? If the final episode of helluva boss is released around Christmas, and references that scene in Sinsmas. You know the scene, this one:

Or really any episode after Octavia and Stolas talk things out and make up, I’m not picky.

Wdym? Of course they’re gonna figure it out, I cannot survive without the knowledge that it will all turn out alright, okay!?!!?

(In all seriousness, judging from the story arcs and tone of the show, it’s far more likely than not that they will be fine. The journey might be tough though. *Nervous laughter wondering how the new episodes will destroy me*)

[sunshinemorningstar]

Something pointed out in the comments section of 2 Minutes Notice is that Mammon was clapping along until the end, when Fizz calls him out by name, and I wonder if that’s a reflection of how modern corporations put on an act of caring about social justice while not doing anything substantial, and recoiling at any real change that could genuinely improve oppressed groups’ material conditions. Like, for example, rainbow capitalism and how corporations make money off of slapping rainbows on their logos and products while often simultaneously funding groups actively harming the LGBTQ community (not a perfect parallel since what’s being critiqued is more capitalism than anything, but similar).

It makes sense then that it doesn’t concern Mammon when Fizz talks about a terrible boss, because appealing to the audience’s frustrations and shared experiences is a good way to generate positive attention and therefore profit, but the moment Mammon is specifically called out, it goes from aimless rhetoric meant to appeal to emotions and put up a front of caring about the issues in hell (and irl, not gonna lie) to a specific callout, something that points a spearhead, something that could generate real progress and upheaval, and challenge and maybe even bring down the status quo that allows Mammon his wealth and power.

All this is to say, go hell! VIVE LA REVOLUTION!!!

(And please let the revolution go well, I’m still reeling from reading about the one in Heavenly Tyrant- such a good book, 10/10 recommend, but so visceral and painful and raw- still destroyed from it)

[sunshinemorningstar]

This was written in the middle of the night, and I was too lazy to proofread, so I apologize in advance for all the confusing sentence structures and ridiculous typos you are sure to find from my sleep deprived brain.

Disclaimer, school has been hell so I haven’t had the time to rewatch all the previous Helluva Boss episodes, so it’s possible that I’ll have missed some information that causes me to misread a situation or action, and I might write a better analysis after I get a break from the awful invention that is our current education system. Also, I am not a mental health professional, so please take this with a grain of salt.

So, I’ve seen a lot of people talking about how Stolas was not thinking of Octavia and having their various takes on the matter, and I’m here to add my unsolicited two cents to the conversation. There’s been some astute and observant people who mentioned that Stolas ran out of his antidepressants during full moon, and proposed that he might not have gotten them refilled after, judging from his generally miserable seeming energy in Mastermind (oversimplification, but that is the general gist from what I can tell). Many also propose that the antidepressants suggest that he has depression, which I believe to be a reasonable suggestion (though I acknowledge that other possibilities exist). Thus, I propose to you that Stolas’s depression was the main driving force for how recklessly he acted when he saved Blitz.

Now, I’m not arguing that he saved Blitz because he was depressed, because aside from such a reasoning making very little sense, it’s quite obvious he genuinely loves Blitz and would in fact go to the ends of the earth for his sake, and I think that’s really sweet. However, I think the reason he was so reckless about his safety isn’t so much due to a lack of consideration for Via as it is a manifestation of his poor mental health and subsequent perception of himself, others’ views of him, and his dynamics with others. Putting aside the possibility that there simply wasn’t enough time for him to do anything else— a point I think has some credence, but which doesn’t negate the fact that he would have left his still teenage daughter Via alone to save Blitz, and therefor prioritized Blitz’s life over Via’s wellbeing (a complicated but ultimately irrelevant aspect of the conversation), it is possible that Stolas’s depression damaged his self esteem in ways he may not even have been aware of (though I suspect he, to some extent, was)

Source: Personal experiences :)

Also, the DSM 5

See, one symptom of depression is lowered self esteem, and it can take the form of believing one to be worthless, or even a burden to others. This isn’t really rational, and can persist despite evidence to the contrary. I think it’s entirely possible that Stolas made his sacrifice believing on some level that Octavia would be better off without him— or at least wouldn’t miss him. We hear Stolas sing about not listening to the voice that “says I’m not enough” in When I See Him Tonight, suggesting that this lowered self esteem is both something he experiences and is actively aware of. We also see him watching his hellanovellas surrounded by alcohol bottles during Mastermind, which doesn’t suggest great things for his mental health.

Knowing what we know of his mental state, it wouldn’t surprise me if he legitimately didn’t think that Octavia would miss him after his death, or even feel his loss at all. And even if she did miss him, his mind argues, it won’t be for long— she’ll get over him easily, even if she claims otherwise, even if she claims she wants him around, because depression influenced thoughts does not a rational assessment of interpersonal relationships make. Maybe he even tells himself that it’s all for the better. Surely it’s best that Via isn’t around him so much, someone who’s so unwanted and fundamentally flawed that neither of his partners wanted him, both reacting with rage and revulsion when he tried to be open with them, someone who needs medications in order to feel happy, someone who hurts her whether he means to or not, as seen in their visit to Loo Loo Land and him forgetting his promise to see the stars. Wouldn’t it be better for them all? Him gone and Blitz safe and Via far from his rotten influence, bound to wither in the toxic soil formed from his poisonous roots. And sure, Via isn’t an adult yet, but it’s just one year— less, even, at this point, and what has he done but hurt her over and over again? He’s not good for her, and isn’t it better he rids himself from her life early, doing one final good deed? So he shows up to Blitz’s trial to take on the blame, at peace because this is the better option, after all.

None of this is rational of course, nor is it true (at least, not without removing a metric ton of context) but his mind is dredging up his worst moments, the most painful, shameful parts of his existence, and applying the least forgiving readings to it all.

I don’t think that all this goes through his head in the moment, there’s not enough time for that, and the circumstances do not lend to this much thought anyway. But, I’d like to direct your attention to what Stolas was doing right before he found out about Blitz’s imminent execution: watching hellanovellas and drinking alcohol. Now, I personally tend to put my full attention on the shows I watch, regardless of their quality or any personal interest I possess (it is mildly annoying how uncontrollable yet intent my attention can be) so I would welcome shows as nice distractions to my thoughts— however, that does not apply to everyone, and it’s possible that watching the show provides a similar effect to Stolas as something like drawing does for me, providing enough stillness for his mind to wander and end up stewing over his numerous personal failings and reasons for shame, each character and plot line feeling like a personal callout and bringing all his negative self talk to the forefront of his mind, further exacerbated by the alcohol we know he was drinking. This is the headspace he’s in when Blitz’s execution is broadcast. As he panics and tries to figure out how to save Blitz, an idea comes to his mind— it would mean leaving Via behind, but… she’s better off without him, isn’t she?

TLDR: Stolas wasn’t really not thinking of Octavia so much as he was too depressed to register that his death might be a net negative for his daughter (because negative self talk be negative self talkin).

[sunshinemorningstar]

Adding Stolas to the list (slowly becoming one of my faves in Helluva Boss alongside Fizzarolli) with the caveat that he’s gay not bi (still a queer disaster though). And I don’t know if he’s headcanoned to be fluid with his gender.

(But he matches Apollo’s babygirl energy so well…)

Oh lord, there is a pattern…

If I had a dime for every time my favourite character was an immortal dad who:

1. Really loves his kid(s)

2. Has an often strained, kinda messy, but overall loving relationship with said kid(s)

3. Is bisexual and a disaster (which may or may not be related)

4. Is headcanoned by the fandom to be fluid with their gender

5. Has a complicated relationship with their own parent

6. Has a metric ton of trauma that causes them to engage in ~ehh~ behaviors and mindsets, and which they must work out as the series progresses

7. Originates from religion/mythology

8. And gives off endearingly loser-y vibes

I’d have two dimes. It’s not a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice.

Ps. It’s Lucifer from Hazbin Hotel and Apollo from Trials of Apollo— I have a type and it shows.

And bonus: they’re both associated with music (though for different reasons) and brightness/celestial bodies/stars (the sun is also a star!!)

[sunshinemorningstar]

If I had a dime for every time my favourite character was an immortal dad who:

1. Really loves his kid(s)

2. Has an often strained, kinda messy, but overall loving relationship with said kid(s)

3. Is bisexual and a disaster (which may or may not be related)

4. Is headcanoned by the fandom to be fluid with their gender

5. Has a complicated relationship with their own parent

6. Has a metric ton of trauma that causes them to engage in ~ehh~ behaviors and mindsets, and which they must work out as the series progresses

7. Originates from religion/mythology

8. And gives off endearingly loser-y vibes

I’d have two dimes. It’s not a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice.

Ps. It’s Lucifer from Hazbin Hotel and Apollo from Trials of Apollo— I have a type and it shows.

And bonus: they’re both associated with music (though for different reasons) and brightness/celestial bodies/stars (the sun is also a star!!)