sunshinefordayz

[sunshinefordayz]

this should be the happiest year of my life, but I still struggle to find the joy at times.

[sunshinefordayz]

seeing old nudes of yourself as you look in the mirror like

[sunshinefordayz]

when the guy you've been trying to warn your mom about finally snaps

[sunshinefordayz]

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

— Maya Angelou

[sunshinefordayz]

“When it hurts to move on, just remember the pain you felt hanging on.”

— Unknown

[sunshinefordayz]

“People may not always tell you how they feel about you, but they will always show you. Pay attention.”

— Unknown (via meineluft)

[sunshinefordayz]

“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.”

— Herbert Kretzmer (via resqectable)

[sunshinefordayz]

“Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don’t expect it from cheap people.”

— Unknown (via wortklang)

[sunshinefordayz]

I get it, I'm a hot mess.

Im not the pretty girl with the nice bikini bod and bubbly personality. I'm not completely confident in myself. I'm not going to be everybody's favorite person, or anybody's really. I'm not going to have perfect skin and pearly whites. I'm the farthest thing from perfect, but do I really need to be reminded every day?

Do you need to mention how I gained 15 pounds every time I come around? Do you need to say I'm controlling and crazy when I ask you not to post something? Do you need to make me feel any more worthless than I already do? No.

I just want to feel loved. Appreciated. Worthwhile.

It feels like each day I fall deeper and deeper into my own head and can't shake the feeling that nobody in my life really needs, even wants, me around. It's not just the physical flaws that give me this hopeless feeling, it's the mentality of it all. The thought that right when someone looks at me they just want to pull me apart. My whole life it's just been picking at the flaws inside and out until I really just feel empty inside.

I have good days. Really good days. But why do the bad ones always come out on top. Like it all comes crashing down from every angle all at once and I can't stop it. Like the only solution I have is to pack up and run until I run out of steam. Just to give everyone else a break. To make it easier on them to see me. To love me.

My whole life I felt like a burden. On my parents, relatives, friends. Like it takes too much time and energy to have relationships with me. Like it's just easier to gossip about my flaws or call me out for them instead of giving me the reasons they stay.

I just want to hear the good things instead of the bad. Maybe that I'm funny, or kind, or bright, or important. Why is it so hard for people to tell you how much you matter to them?

For anyone who actually read through this venting garbage, you matter. You matter to me. To anyone who understands and relates to feeling like a burden, you aren't one to me. I'll tell you how important you are. I'll make you feel less of a hot mess. Less worthless.

I'm here for you.