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there was a well-meaning international student (learning english) in my workspace who came up to me and asked "how is your handsome white boy?" and it took me a few seconds to realize she was not in fact asking about my twink spouse but my white dog

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EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP SCIENTISTS AT THE SCHMIDT OCEAN INSTITUTE HAVE FOOTAGE OF A LIVE COLOSSAL SQUID FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑

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hero/villain showdown but one of them has a spontaneous medical emergency and the battle gets put on hold while their archnemesis drives them to Urgent Care

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To: professor@schoolname.edu Subject: CLASS3290 Question

are you mad at me

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saying I miss a character is so funny I don't even know what I mean. I could engage with the media anytime. i could even read or even WRITE fanfic. but man. i miss the character

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beach souvenirs

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moment of unspeakable beauty today when one of my coworkers called another coworker "judas" for not splitting a can of white monster with her, and i got to watch the guy who sits next to me open a new google tab, type in "jeudis," and say quietly to himself "french thursday...?"

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hello aftg tumblr will you accept my humble offering

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My contribution this year

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It's his day!!!

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everyone make sure to set out cheese & crackers for neil tonight <3

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everyone make sure to set out cheese & crackers for neil tonight <3

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HAPPY NEIL BANGING OUT THE TUNES DAY!!! 🎶 🎹 🐀 🌈

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I made my light switch an apple!!

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Favorite adderall review