sunflowervinyls - Tumblr blog

sunflowervinyls · 3 years ago

Text

The Gap Where You Should Be

Description: You weren’t one for going out and meeting people but you have a new neighbor who seems just as alone as you are.

A/n: Ok I love Andrew Garfield Spiderman but bro why is the Peter Parker x Reader tab ONLY him when that movie ended in the most fanfic worthy setup

———————-—

And in the snap of a finger- perhaps not even that- the world forgot his name.

You never knew him in the first place, not that you would remember if you did.

Its hard to explain- just know that you had no recollection of such a person as to who you forgot.

You felt it though. There was a gap in your mind- in everyones minds where that knowledge would lie. When the world thinks of Spiderman theres a pinhole of a gap where the name should be next to it. In their minds thats how its always been.

In your mind thats how its always been. I mean… you cant remember a time that gap hadn’t been there.

When you tried to think about what belonged there too hard you got dizzy. One time it ended up with a banged head on the floor. Apparently sitting on the edge of your bed is not such a place to think about these things.

The floor apparently dented when that happened because here you were moving your bed so you could clean under it without stooping but now it was in that little dent in the rotting wood of your shitty apartment. And it was stuck. Despite all your attempts to move it either which way, the bed would not give an inch.

Damn this shitty old building.

With a huff, and a glare at the stuck bed, you slumped on the chair by your desk. You sat there in the silence of the city listening and contemplating.

You heard cars zip past on the road below. You heard a child wailing on the sidewalk. You heard your landlord showing someone to the room next to yours. You heard the shitty heating system whirring.

Wait- A new neighbor?

I mean, over your dead body would you ask you shitty landlord. But a new neighbor…

Nah no of course not. Its probably a grumpy old man or something. You don’t want to risk that, you got this you can totally move that bed. If Captain America can jump out of planes without a parachute and if Tony Stark can survive multiple terrorist attacks against him, you therefore should be able to move the bed.

You ignored the part where your examples were both superheros and you were not.

Rising from your chair, you stubbornly went back to trying to move the bed. It creaked and you pushed and nothing happened. And you tried again and it creaked and it groaned and you strained and your hands slipped and your head slammed against the edge of the bed.

If the divot was really so low then maybe you should get checked out for a concussion. If you hit your head so hard maybe you should get checked out for a concussion.

Nah you’re too broke for that. What is this, a nation with free healthcare?

A small knock went through the room. Rubbing your head, you looked over at the door. Whoever was outside knocked again.

You resigned your assumptions to believe it was gonna be a noise complaint. You started making your way over to your door. It couldnt be anything but a noise complaint because even if you hadnt been that loud, you shitty old landlord apparently still had good enough ears to be bothered by it.

You swung open your door with a “In my defense…” ready to give a whole powerpoint presentation on why you werent being that loud. But it wasnt your landlord.

In fact, you didnt quite know who was standing before you. That pinprick in your brain felt like the grand canyon staring at the boy outside your door.

He was average height, not very tall or short, and he had neat brown hair. His face was clear so his skincare routine must be immaculate.

You let out an awkward laugh, “Sorry I thought youd be someone else.”

The boy smiled in a friendly manner. “I just heard some things moving around and wanted to know if you needed help.”

Oh. Was this your new neighbor?

“Ah well my bad, I didnt realize i made such a ruckus. You dont have to help if you dont want to.” Its not that you didnt want help its just since he was new, he probably had to take his time moving in. “But if you want to help we could make a deal and I could in turn help you move in and all.”

“That sounds like a reasonable deal, but you dont have to help if you dont want to.” He mirrored your own words back at you. His voice was soft and he waited for your response.

You turned your head towards your apartment. “Its just my bed is stuck. I was moving it to clean under it and it got caught.”

You motion the neighbor inside. You didnt have to point out the problem because with how small the apartment is and with how crooked the bed was the problem was apparent.

And the neighbor said so. “This doesnt look too bad.” He lifted it slightly out of the divot and placed it down a few inches to the side so the bed wouldnt slide in there again..

You stood there trying to supress the little bit of awe you felt because those old bed frames were heavy. But then again maybe he just worked out more than you did. You didnt have much working out with your job and your education taking up most of your time.

Nonetheless you sighed, “Was it that easy?”

“Even if it was hard, I didnt really mind.” He started making his way back for the door.

You followed him back and you two stood back at your doorway “So do you need help moving in now or… do you want me to come over later..?”

The neighbor smiled, “its no problem really. If i need help i’ll make sure to come and ask you.”

You nodded, unsure of what else to say.

“My names Peter by the way. Peter Parker.”

You looked at him, your eyebrows going up, “Oh how rude of me, my name is y/n.”

Peter held out his hand and you shook it.

“Nice to meet you y/n, I’ll see you around.”

You smiled, “likewise.”

Peter closed the door behind him as he left. He never came to ask you for help.

———————————-

You didn’t talk to Peter for a few weeks after that first experience. From what you knew, he was out every afternoon. You only knew this because you heard him enter his room late every night. He had a creaky door you weren’t a stalker or anything.

You concluded if he was out that often he must me a fairly popular guy. But he never had anyone over so you couldn’t prove this. Again not that you were judging or that you cared, you never had anyone over either.

You were hesitant to break this weeks long silence, especially to ask for another favor.

You were baking a little treat for yourself but found yourself one egg short. Exactly one.

It was a wet and miserable day out. The type where the puddles are deep enough to leak into your shoes and the grime from the sidewalk comes with them. The type of day where cold droplets fall off the trees and hit you in the face. Everything was overcast and grey and dreary.

Over your dead body would you go into that weather for an egg.

You didnt actually know how well Peter’s fridge was stocked, but if he does that fitness stuff on a weekly basis he probably might because eggs are a great source of protein.

Thats a stretch actually you dont even know if he works out on a weekly basis. All of this was a stretch. But who doesnt have at least a few eggs in their house?

You stared at the batter which had everything in it except the missing egg. Maybe you should just try it and see how it goes. Maybe you dont need the egg.

Whipping out your phone you google “what do eggs do in baking”. Right there at the top the article says:

“In addition to their nutritional value, eggs can provide structure, leavening, richness, color, and flavor to baked products. The height and texture of baked goods is determined by the balance between eggs and flour which provide strength, and sugar and fat which add tenderness.”

That seemed like too many things to just not add the right amount of eggs.

…Then your only options were to go outside or pray that Peter was home and had an egg.

Fine, it couldn’t hurt to ask Peter.

And suddenly you found yourself in front of his door, knocking. You stood there for a beat as you heard some rustling coming from inside.

The door swung open to reveal Peter with some extreme bedhead and a black eye. This was quite the sight considering it was one in the afternoon. Despite how bedraggled he looked, he still put on a friendly smile.

Not wanting to pry you just gave a flat smile, “Rough night?” Not waiting for him to respond you gave him a genuine smile, “anyways… i was wondering if you had an egg that I could have? For baking I mean.”

Peter nodded, “Yeah I probably have one… one second.” He moved over to his small apartment kitchen and rummaged through the fridge for a moment. He came back empty handed. He looked sheepish, “I forgot I ran out the other day.”

Great. Now you have to go out in the sludge. “Its fine, I was just hoping I could avoid grocery shopping in this weather.” You gestured to his window. “But if i have to, would you like me to grab some eggs for you to.”

Peter blinked, trying to wake himself up. “I can come with if you want.”

Your face flushed, “Its fine really, I still owe you for helping me awhile back.”

Peter ignored you, “Nono no really, just give me a moment to get ready.”

———————————

From that day on you saw Peter pretty frequently.

Here are some things you learned about Peter Parker.

Number 1: He’s not only a huge nerd but a huge dork as well. He tried to hide it at the beginning but you started talking about Star wars one day and he went off about how one of his best friends loves Star Wars. Peter himself prefers Star Trek through the lego Star Wars figure on his desk makes you think otherwise.

You two then proceeded to marathon both Star Wars and Star Trek but most of the movie runtime was filled with you two comparing the two franchises and debating which one was better.

Number 2: Peter is really good at science. His science knowledge is how he won the Star Wars/Trek debate because he brought in all these science factors and went off about how Star Trek actually inspired multiple scientific innovations. This makes him really good with technology and he talks about it sometimes. You never understand a word he says at these times.

Number 3:

Something bad happened to Peter Parker.

This isn’t something that he told you and its not something you even talk about at all. But even with all of these interactions you have, he’s still withdrawn. When he thinks you aren’t looking sometimes his eyes will zone out as if he’s somewhere else. He constantly has bruises or cuts that he hides and you’re sure since he hides them theres more than you’ve seen. Peter Parker never has any friends over. The few picture frames in his apartment have 3 or 4 people in them and you tried to ask about them once but he just smiled and muttered something about “that was my aunt” or related things like that.

One time you caught him in the hallway on his way to his apartment with red eyes. You were too afraid of upsetting him to ask what was wrong.

Peter Parker is an amazing person to be around but he is also extremely lonely.

You are the only person who you’ve ever known to be in Peters apartment other then himself or the landlord.

Sometimes when you try and think about what could have happened to Peter that gap in your brain feels deeper. You know its probably rude to try and think about these things but you can’t help yourself.

Who is Peter Parker really?

—————————————-

Its been about 4 months since Peter moved in and you two talked on a daily basis now.

Today you found yourself sitting on the floor by his bed next to him as you two just sat in silence waiting for the pizza to cook. You were doing homework and Peter was scrolling through his phone.

When you had a question you’d turn to him and ask because chances are he knew the answer or he was willing to find out.

You were on a particularly tricky one and you turned to Peter only to see he had a news article open. The title read in bold letters:

Spiderman: The Mystery of the Man Behind the Mask

“Does it actually say who Spiderman is or is it just complaining about how nobody knows?” You asked quietly.

Peter turned his head to look at you suddenly, he blinked a few times, “Oh… its just… its just about how nobody knows who he is. Thats all…”

You lied your head back onto the bed, “Thats dumb. I don’t know why everyone cares about secret identities anyways.”

Peter just watched you.

“Its not like the public knowing these things is going to improve anyones lives greatly. Like who cares who Spiderman is? Theres probably a pretty good person under that mask to save so many people without as much as a thank you.”

Peter looked back at his phone. “Yeah, thats a really good point.” He didn’t say anything else

The oven timer went off and the smell of Pizza filled the room. You got up to go get it out of the oven.

After you two ate in silence Peter did that thing where he went out in the afternoon so you went back to your apartment.

That pinhole next to Spiderman in your brain never felt more like a trench.

——————————————

You sat at the edge of the bed puzzling over Peter Parker again later that night.

Your laptop lay open before you as you scoured the internet for anything about him. You WERE NOT stalking. Or at least thats what you told yourself. You were just curious. And that curiosity led nowhere.

Its like he didn’t exist on the internet. There were no social media accounts with the name, not a single high school roster with the name, there wasn’t a single sign that he existed at all.

It was like he didn’t exist outside of your life.

Finally after months, your resolve broke. Your curiosity won you over. You had to know something. You had to know anything.

It was the late afternoon and you knew Peter wouldn’t be home but you let yourself in to his apartment. The only difference between this and letting yourself in any other day is simply that Peter isn’t home yet. You sat yourself down at the edge of his bed facing away from the window like you two had been sitting at not long ago.

And you waited.

——————————-

The door to Peters apartment opened as he entered the room. He saw you sitting there and he looked at you with confusion.

You rose from the floor as Peter pointed between where you were and the door.

You shrugged, “I let myself in.”

Peter leaned against the doorframe uncertainly, “So- what do you need…?”

You took a deep breath. This situation could go anywhere.

“Peter Parker, who are you?”

Peters eyes widened, “I’m- i’m not-“

“Whatever you’re about to say, i call bullshit. You have pictures on your walls of people who you don’t want to talk about-“

Peter stepped in the room and closed the door.

“-and despite those pictures its like I’m the only person who knows you exist.” You couldn’t help but sound harsh. How could your enthusiastically amazing neighbor be virtually unknown to anyone? You couldn’t see such a person as Peter Parker not having at least a few friends.

“And for someone who’s such a tech whiz you don’t even have a shred of a presence on the internet… i’m sorry for looking into it but I cant see how you don’t exist anywhere but here.” Your shoulders slumped in defeat. “Im sorry that was rude of me. I shouldn’t get so involved in your personal life.”

You two stood in a deafening silence. You moved as to leave.

“… You are the only person who knows i exist.“ He whispered it so quietly you almost didn’t catch it. You raised your eyes from the floor and saw that he had tears in his eyes and he looked so painfully vulnerable.

He didn’t stop there, “I- I wish I could… explain it to you somehow but… you need to understand I cant explain it no matter how much I want to.” His voice broke.

“Are you a ghost?” You couldn’t stop yourself.

Peter let out a teary laugh that was more of breath, he wrapped his arms around himself. “Sometimes I feel like I am. I promise you though, i’m real.”

You walked towards him, slowing and stopping about a foot away from him.

You looked back at the floor. You knew something bad had happened to Peter Parker and now you were just rubbing it in.

“Im sorry I’ve been a real ass.” You felt tears prick at your eyes now as you look back at him. “You don’t need to tell me,” you whispered, “But please if you need a shoulder to cry on, I’m here.”

Peter nodded, “I know, you have been here.” He unwrapped is arms and pulled you into a hug.

You two stayed like that for a long time until all the tears had been shed.

Peter was the first to pull away. “I promise that someday I’ll tell you. Ill tell you everything. Just give me time.”

That gap in your mind shrank back into a pinhole. It wasn’t important to you anymore.

All that was important was that everything was going to be ok. All that mattered was that Peter Parker had someone to be with him when he needed and you had someone to make everything feel a little less empty.

It was ok.

———————————

Taglist: @pogueslandia , @xxxtwilightaxelxxx , @aesthetixhoe

220 notes · View notes