sunbleachedghost

[sunbleachedghost]

[sunbleachedghost]

HELP i’m sitting at an outdoor cafe and this lady was at another table next to me and the barista called my name and I stood up to walk ten feet to grab my drink and the lady JUMPED up and LUNGED over to my table and took my seat????? i’m not even gonna say anything bc I’m so confused. they’re virtually the same tables with the same views and amount of sunlight etc.

[sunbleachedghost]

can i come over and do this

[sunbleachedghost]

musk is going to die in a Tesla explosion in 6 months after sticking his nose where it doesn't belong and we will never get a conclusive answer on whether it was a CIA car bomb or just a normal Tesla malfunction

[sunbleachedghost]

what was that, gooner? you're "done" grating parmesan?

I don't know, that's a pretty big chunk youre pinching, there.

I don't care if you slice your thumb on the grater, gooner.

Keep grating for your Alfredo Mommy.

[sunbleachedghost]

pls dont sleep on modern wtnv, this is from episode 259 and it made me actually laugh out loud at work

[sunbleachedghost]

first night as a vampire warlord i turn my five most loyal men into vampires as well but they dont know what that means and they go out during the day so now i have none of my five most loyal men

[sunbleachedghost]

petition to change LGBT to DFTQ (Dykes Faggots Trannies and Queers, naturally)

[sunbleachedghost]

What if you poked me in the chest and your finger broke through like you were cracking into a rotted plank of wood and dust came out and I just crumpled into nothing and my spores got into your nose

[sunbleachedghost]

US Forest Service guide to partially or totally obliterating a horse carcass with explosives

[sunbleachedghost]

clammy ganon will become a fixture to my vocabulary now. excellent

[sunbleachedghost]

[sunbleachedghost]

I couldn't resist

[sunbleachedghost]

compilation

[sunbleachedghost]

getting teary eyed thinking about gerda gottlieb's paintings of her wife after she transitioned

[sunbleachedghost]

I'm one of the freaks

Cold weather enjoyer FREAKS when they’re shivering and tensed up and can’t feel their toes and their face hurts and

[sunbleachedghost]

what was that, gooner? you're "done" grating parmesan?

I don't know, that's a pretty big chunk youre pinching, there.

I don't care if you slice your thumb on the grater, gooner.

Keep grating for your Alfredo Mommy.