studying-inwonderland

[studying-inwonderland]

happy Thursday the 20th

[studying-inwonderland]

Things I wish I knew before I was an adult. For me and for others.

good parents dont hit their children. good parents dont touch their children inappropriately. good parents dont scream at their children. good parents dont manipulate their children. good parents dont imprison their children at home. good parents dont threaten their children. good parents dont starve their children. good parents dont harass their children.

good parents do not abuse their children.

[studying-inwonderland]

Are you talking about me? Lmao. Citronella candles are your friend. Also topical bug sticks. Benadryl has a branded one but i'm sure they make off brands. Also light at the end of the tunnel I got better as I got older with the allergy. (Still swell up a lot but not nearly as bad) Benadryl makes me loopy still.

Have I mentioned how much fun it is to have a kid who is super allergic to bug bites (swells up dramatically, eyes swollen shut, etc) who ALSO is in the tiny percentage of people who get hyper when given benedryl?

Super fun.

[studying-inwonderland]

“they” (1 word) is shorter than “he or she” (3 words)

“they” is more inclusive than “he/she”

“themself” flows more naturally than “him or herself”

“they” is less clunky than “(s)he”

it’s time to replace the awkward “she or he”

[studying-inwonderland]

I'm about to sound like such a bitch. I hate when people try to sound "smart". What I mean is using multiple words like "whereby", "whilst", "meanwhile", "therefore" way to often and wrong. I just read a sentence that said "whereby whilst he acknowledges that whilst...".

To me that just screams "I want to sound like I know what I'm talking about but am not confident enough in my facts to prove that."

When you're writing take a step back and consider your audience (this was a YouTube comment). But even if you think your audience will be capable of wading through that pseudo-intelligent stylized writing, think about if every word actually adds to the story.

That could be rewritten "whereby he acknowledges that although x is true so is y."

Or

"In /a, by b/ the author states that while x... Y"

There are so many ways to state facts in plain language and it's an important skill. I've been out of school for a couple years, but that is something that stuck with me. Write for it to be read.

My ex actually took a class on technical writing and one of the key things was to dumb down the language dramatically. In my writing classes, which prepared us more for writing academically, my professors would make the same notes.

[studying-inwonderland]

I am huge. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think I need to get even huger. Sometimes I’m walking around town and a fat ass beefcake of a huge-ass bastard confidently walks, taking up 3/4ths of the entire street and sidewalk and I think “why aren’t I him??” Muscle. Beef. Beef

[studying-inwonderland]

[studying-inwonderland]

It's coronavirus and your considering using a public bathroom?

ok listen

[studying-inwonderland]

Im sorry but my old job is in mental health and restraints were about 7% of it. (For me because I avoid it at all costs. For other staff its closer to 15%) my kids (teen girls) are suicidal, homicidal, and at risk for trafficking if they leave our facility. We literally have women and girls disappearing almost daily in our neighboring town. (And it's one of those weird places where you can't tell where each town ends and the other begins).

I hate restraining. I agree that it's traumatic for everyone involved. But there are times when you need to hold someone down long enough to dose a sedative. Or just pull them away from a ledge and let them know there is absolutely no way they are hurting themselves tonight because you do care. You care enough to potentially harm yourself, to hold a piss covered grown adult to keep them safe. And most importantly. During this time you are reassuring the patient. Letting them know that you are on their side. And giving them clear and simple directions on what they need to do in order to be let go.

And what are you going to do when the paranoid schizophrenic your speaking to softly and rationalizing with hears a voice telling him that your with them. That you'll kill him if he gets too close? I've seen people with these disorders go from genuinely believing your trying to help them to knowing that you are a demon and your going to drag them to hell and burn them. (Got attacked while bringing a kid back from AWOL, everything had been great up until then)

I'm all for social workers removing the burden on police. But if you really think that just talking to someone is going to fix the problem 100% of the time, you're extremely naive. Yes start a conversation. Put in place buffers, make treatment accessible and ease the stigma. That's all great. Teach children (and adults) not to stare when they see someone acting strangely. But all of those things? They take a generation.

That is potentially 31240 deaths. Assuming a generation is 20 years and using the figure of 142 deaths in 2019. (X) and those are just the ones that were reported as having a diagnosed mental illness. I guarantee that more of the 800 killed by police last year had untreated mental health conditions complicating their engagement with law enforcement.

So no you should not go into an encounter with a patient planning to restrain. You should always align yourself with the patient and have the goal to provide them resources. But sometimes one of those resources is a 5 minute break from being responsible for their own safety.

It is an act of dehumanization to presume that a person experiencing mental health issues needs to be violently restrained, medicated & detained. We treat the addicted, traumatized, incarcerated homeless & Americans with dealing with their mental health as an untouchable class that must be discarded to maintain the sanitized image of the status quo.

It is the epitome of privilege to presume what someone else needs. We are starting with the police but this whole fucking system gotta be dismantled.

[studying-inwonderland]

When husband and I were in our early twenties, we decided we needed to learn how to cook. My go-to has always been to get a book when I need to learn how to do something; I even learned to parallel park from the manual.

We headed to the bookstore for a seemingly simple task. Buy a cookbook. Neither of us were prepared for the rows upon rows of cookbooks available to choose from.

And I guess we sounded as lost as we felt because a random woman took pity on us and offered us some help. She told us that she was there to buy a baby food cookbook which blew our minds because neither of us knew that you could make your own baby food.

She suggested we buy the Better Homes and Gardens cookbooks. She told us it would be a good beginners book with lots of choices to pick from. And it worked! So every time we had a good meal at home from that book, we would always say, “Thank you, super homemaker lady!”

Fast forward fifteen years. I’m a homemaker with five kids and three shelves of cookbooks. My eleven year old is interested in cooking and asked which book to start with. So I fondly pointed him in the direction of that well-worn, now neglected, book.

Perhaps predictably, he bee lined for a section I never used: candies. So today we made butter crunch toffee. And as we cracked it into pieces and merrily filled a container and munched on the scraps, I thought of the woman whose baby is now nearly an adult, and once more said, “Thank you, super homemaker lady.”

[studying-inwonderland]

She's his little sister. It's pretty standard to think your brothers got a big head. I'm sure Ginny is aware of all his strengths and faults. Logically and from experience I know my brother struggles with confidence, but I still tell people not to "stroke his ego to hard, it might burst." Or whatever.

your last fic was nice... can you do a drunk! Hermione being horny for Ron please :( I like how you do it from Harry's POV

Omg okay I will try

It was a Hogsmeade weekend. Harry was excited because he had not seen Ginny in one month, he was also eager to see Hermione. He had grown used to her consistent voice of concerns that it felt oddly quiet without them. Ron, who was accompanying him was also ecstatic. When the two of them had decided to go onto Auror training, they had known that this would mean that they would spend the year separated from Ginny and Hermione, who had decided to return to Hogwarts.

Harry, although sad that he had to leave Ginny and Hermione aside, was happy he had Ron by his side. Doing Auror training with Ron reminded him of his Hogwarts days, when they would sit in the back of their classes and play around. However, Ron and Harry did not even remotely goof around during Auror training, the sense of having his best friend there gave training a more positive feel. Harry and Ron, who were no strangers to dark magic, did not struggle much in training. Harry had seen a great change in Ron in the last few years, he was talented, confident and determined, he also figured that having Hermione by his side was a factor at his new found confidence. Because Ron and Harry were excelling quite well in their training, they had been granted permission for a weekend off, which both of them had requested, in the hopes that they would be able to visit Ginny and Hermione. 

‘Are we apparating?’ Ron asked Harry, indicating towards his bags. 

‘I dunno, maybe we should floo’ Harry suggested, ‘you packed light’ he added, indicating towards Ron’s backpack, they had established that they would be staying in Hogsmeade for the weekend, both of them had gotten rooms in Hogsmeade, and although Hermione and Ginny weren’t technically allowed to sleep outside of Hogwarts, Harry was hoping she’d break the rules for him, he knew Ron was hoping the same thing about Hermione, and they both had a silent agreement  to not make it a topic of conversation. 

‘Well yeah, it’s just the weekend after-all, besides there’s a chance that Hermione won’t-’ he trailed off, his ears turning red,  ‘and I used the extendable curse Hermione taught me so I wouldn’t have too much to carry’ Ron responded, Harry hit his hand on his head, why hadn’t he thought of that? 

‘I should’ve thought of that’ Harry sighed, ‘sorry mate, apparition would be easier, I hate flooing’ 

‘It’s fine’ said Ron, ‘we can put the extendable charm on one of your bags and just put the other two in there’ Ron suggested, and he casually placed the charm on his smallest bag, Harry opened the bag to see that it was much larger on the inside. 

‘of course, brilliant,’ Harry said, ‘Hermione is really starting to influence you eh Ron, before you know it you’ll be quoting Hogwarts: a history’ 

Ron’s ears turned red, ‘doubtful- as much as I love her-’ he paused, blushing at what he had revealed to Harry ‘you could never catch me reading that, pretty sure she’s the only person in the world to read it, bet you the Bathilda Bagshot didn’t even read it.’ Harry laughed, choosing to ignore Ron’s confession on his love for Hermione. 

Harry put the other two bags into the charmed one. 

‘Alright so that’s it, we’re settled then? They said they’d meet us outside the Three Broomsticks’ Ron told Harry, ‘wish they would’ve been able to go last week, y’know, for Hermione’s birthday’ Ron added 

‘S’all right, we’ll celebrate today’ Harry added, ‘ready?’ 

‘Ready, see you in a second mate’ Ron said, both of them pulled out their wands, Harry closed his eyes and thought of the Hogsmeade and the Three broomsticks, and sure enough Harry felt a sensation throughout his whole body that confirmed he was apparating, when he opened his eyes he saw the Three broomsticks and Ron standing by his side, who was now twisting his head, to look around for Hermione and Ginny. 

‘Where are they?’ Ron asked, stretching his neck, looking for any signs of Hermione or Ginny. 

Harry looked around too, and sure enough he saw a girl with bushy brown hair and smooth ginger locks making their way to them. Ron spotted them too, beaming at Hermione. 

‘Harry’ Ginny yelled, running at him.  Harry embraced her in a tight hug and placed his lips on her. Ron, who was too fixtated on Hermione, did not seem to mind this.  

‘Ron!’ Hermione yelled, beaming at him. He embraced Hermione, lifting her up off the ground and spinning her around, also going in for a kiss. Hermione put her arms around his shoulders and deepened it. After the excitement of seeing their significant others subsided, Harry gave Hermione a hug and Ron gave Ginny a hug. 

‘Nice to see you Harry!’ Hermione grinned, 

‘You too Hermione, happy belated birthday,’ he added, reaching in for his bag, when he felt his hand find a wrapped gift he took it out and gave it to her. 

‘Oh Harry, you didn’t have to! Thank you!’ Hermione said, taking it and giving him another hug. 

‘No problem, not as good as what Ron got you, but then again, he was worrying about it for a month, so I reckon I couldn’t have beat him anyway’ Harry added and Ron’s ears turned red. Harry and Ron were being paid for Auror training, and Ron, who had been worried about what to get Hermione a month prior to her birthday had been saving up just for her gift. Harry had gotten her a book, but Ron, who knew Hermione loved books, wanted to get her something that showed more significance in their relationship. They had been shopping around, and Ron had asked and looked around the whole day for a suitable gift for Hermione. In the end, Ron had bought a golden bracelet, that had sapphires, which was Hermione’s birthstone. encrusted in it. Ron had then spent money to get it magically customized so that, when it was placed on a book, it would be able to scan the whole book, and have it be able to recite the contents of the book either vocally, or could present the contents in a projection in front of the reader. Harry thought it was brilliant, it was like a magical audio book and projector all at once, when Harry had told Ron this he had looked at Harry confused, not realizing what an audio book or projector was. But it was perfect for Hermione, as she always had her back hunched reading, this way she’d be able to read at ease, and also have a pretty bracelet to wear. Ron had put all his savings and a lot of thought into the gift, and the idea of Ginny seeing that scared Harry for the expectations he’d have for her birthday. 

Hermione looked at him with a sparkle in his eye, ‘oh Ron you didn’t have to stress about my birthday gift- you just started training!’ 

‘I wanted to’ Ron said Hermione beamed at him ‘I er…want to give it to you in private, if that’s okay’ Ron said shyly to Hermione.

‘Harry and I are going to go for a stroll’ Ginny said, taking the hint, ‘we’ll meet you in the three broomsticks for drinks later’ 

Harry followed Ginny and they enjoyed their private time together. The only other date he’d ever gone on in Hogsmeade was the one with Cho in his fifth year, and he had to admit, this experience was much more enjoyable. As the evening approached, he and Ginny went to the three broomsticks, meeting up with Ron and Hermione, and the four of them settled at a booth. 

Harry sat beside Ginny and Ron sat beside Hermione, who was now wearing the golden bracelet Ron had bought him. They each ordered a couple of butterbeers, Ginny suggested a couple of firewhiskey’s as well to celebrate being together as well as Hermione’s birthday. Harry took one shot, and decided that was enough for him. Ginny had two shots and one butter beer, and seemed to able to handle it quite well for her size. Ron, much to Harry’s surprise, only had one firewhiskey and two butterbeers. Hermione, however, was already on her fourth shot of firewhiskey, and her face was looking flushed. She was about to order a fifth shot, and Ron shot her a look of concern. 

‘You don’t think that’s enough for the night Hermione?’ Ron hesitantly asked 

Hermione’s cheeks were now a deep pink due to the effects of the alcohol, she smiled at Ron and hugged him. ‘You’re always so concerned about me you handsome man’ she said as she kissed him on the cheek 

‘Did you two see what he got me?’ she sighed at Harry and Hermione, and she drunkenly lifted her arm to show the bracelet on her hand. Ron’s ears turned red and Ginny giggled. 

‘Yes Hermione I know, you’ve told us two times’ Ginny said, smiling. 

‘He didn’t even have to! I just wanted to see him! Even if it was just a bracelet….but no he had to go get it all charmed too…..isn’t he amazing?’ Hermione sighed, looking at Ron adoringly. 

Ginny sighed, half amused, half annoyed at the adoration Hermione was showing for her brother.

‘Yeah, until you hear him singing in the shower’ Ginny teased

‘Oi!’ Ron said, his arm around Hermione, as he was supporting her to say up.

Hermione seemed to pay no mind to the joke, she put her head on Ron’s shoulder and sighed…. ‘Ou, you’re right, I love Ron in the shower……Especially when I’m there with him’ she said, now closing her eyes and embracing him. 

Ron coughed embarrassingly and Ginny looked disgusted. Harry also thought he could have done without that bit of information.  Hermione seemed to pay no mind to what she had said, she had drunkenly made her way onto Ron’s lap and Ron was supporting her back, making sure she would not tip over. 

‘You sick prat, you’re loving this’ Ginny said to Ron, 

But Ron also was paying no mind to Ginny. He had been keeping his composure in front of Harry and Ginny but it looked as though that had been eliminated the moment she had gone on his lap. Ron and Hermione were now sharing a heated kiss and Harry and Ginny looked at each-other awkwardly. 

‘Right- yeah, well….we’ll be off’ Ginny added, grabbing Harry’s hand and getting up, but the only response Ginny got was Ron moving his hands to put through Hermione’s hair. 

Harry retreated with Ginny, leaving money on the table for their drinks.

‘TAKE CARE OF HER RON….’ Ginny yelled back before exiting with Harry 

‘Right- well…’ Ginny said as they were now outside ‘now we know not to mix alcohol and Hermione’ 

‘Didn’t know she had it in her’ Harry added, looking at Ginny amused. 

‘All what Ron needs right? His head to get bigger?’ Ginny joked. 

‘They’re good for each-other,’ Harry said, ‘I doubt he see’s Hermione that way- he….he really loves her.’ 

Ginny looked at him, with a now serious face, ‘I know…she loves him too.’ 

‘And I love you’ Harry said simply, Ginny kissed him.

‘I love you too Harry’ Ginny responded.

‘I er, I was wondering , I got a room, and I know you’re not supposed to sleep outside of Hogwarts, but seeing as it’s the weekend and-’ he was interrupted with another kiss, 

‘Since when did you think I’d follow the rules?’ Ginny joked, ‘I’m not going to see you for another two months, of course I’ll spend the night here….Hermione will with Ron too obviously, reckon she’ll get in less trouble doing that than showing up at Hogwarts all pissed.’

Harry grinned, he and Ginny started to retreat and saw a Ron and Hermione also leaving the restaurant. Ron was carrying Hermione on his back, and she had her head buried in his shoulder, he saw Ron turn his head back to place a light kiss on Hermione’s forehead. 

‘At least I can say my brother’s a gentleman’ Ginny sighed, looking at the two of them. 

Harry, without a doubt, knew that Ron was indeed a gentleman, especially when it came to Hermione. And as Hermione’s close friend, he was very happy that she was with someone like Ron, who clearly cared about her very much. And with that, Harry and Ginny walked off, and Harry decided to forget that he would be separated from Ginny soon, and enjoy the rest of the weekend. 

(I thought this would be smutty but it ended up fluffy idk) 

[studying-inwonderland]

[studying-inwonderland]

[studying-inwonderland]

I want to add. Something I desperately want. And have wanted for a long time. May be coming to fruition in the coming years. Once we get into a bigger place I'm going to apply to be a foster parent. Its something I've wanted to do since childhood and I truly hope we can make it work. My man knows about this and is supportive.

So we're moving in a month! I'm excited. The place is smaller. Its still a 1 bedroom (same as now) but less square footage. Which will be fine we don't have much stuff and our apartment is mostly empty.

Its also literally 500 a month less. Were currently paying 1280 plus gas and electric, and internet, and we have coin operated laundry.

The new place is 800. The laundry is free and utility is included in the rent. (It's in the basement of a family friends home).

Also! I'm starting a new job! I've been out of work for 2 months. The new job is 16.50 base pay, plus a .75 shift differential. I was making 12.50 at my old job! That's a 5 dollar difference. That's big girl money. I'm stoked. I'll also be getting free internet and cable (job is a call center for the local provider) so we may set up our own internet anyway.

This is definitely a step in the right direction. For me as an individual its gonna remove so much of my stress. I'll be able to work on rebuilding my credit and get my feet under me. And for us as a couple? It'll be so good to be able to afford date night and such. It'll be nice to just be able to relax and be a Young couple without so much financial stress.

Once we get our credit fixed, and get some savings under us we want to get a bigger place. The CEO of this company (my man works there too but in a different department) has promised that all his employees will be making 20 and hour by 2022. So thats another 2 dollars for my man and it'll be like 8 from where I was at my old job. (3 from my start rate tho).

They also have a lot of upward mobility here. Which I look forward to. My only downside is I have a 6 week training period of working 8a to 5p and then I'm going to be working 4p to 1 am. But I'm confident that if I show up and do a great job I'll pretty quickly get a better shift. I would love to be on a morning shift. I'm getting old after all.

[studying-inwonderland]

So we're moving in a month! I'm excited. The place is smaller. Its still a 1 bedroom (same as now) but less square footage. Which will be fine we don't have much stuff and our apartment is mostly empty.

Its also literally 500 a month less. Were currently paying 1280 plus gas and electric, and internet, and we have coin operated laundry.

The new place is 800. The laundry is free and utility is included in the rent. (It's in the basement of a family friends home).

Also! I'm starting a new job! I've been out of work for 2 months. The new job is 16.50 base pay, plus a .75 shift differential. I was making 12.50 at my old job! That's a 5 dollar difference. That's big girl money. I'm stoked. I'll also be getting free internet and cable (job is a call center for the local provider) so we may set up our own internet anyway.

This is definitely a step in the right direction. For me as an individual its gonna remove so much of my stress. I'll be able to work on rebuilding my credit and get my feet under me. And for us as a couple? It'll be so good to be able to afford date night and such. It'll be nice to just be able to relax and be a Young couple without so much financial stress.

Once we get our credit fixed, and get some savings under us we want to get a bigger place. The CEO of this company (my man works there too but in a different department) has promised that all his employees will be making 20 and hour by 2022. So thats another 2 dollars for my man and it'll be like 8 from where I was at my old job. (3 from my start rate tho).

They also have a lot of upward mobility here. Which I look forward to. My only downside is I have a 6 week training period of working 8a to 5p and then I'm going to be working 4p to 1 am. But I'm confident that if I show up and do a great job I'll pretty quickly get a better shift. I would love to be on a morning shift. I'm getting old after all.

[studying-inwonderland]

I am neutral to positive on musicals myself but i absolutely adore when people who Hate Musicals try to explain/describe why they hate musicals. It is never not totally hilarious because musicals as a concept are hilarious and its always just... Really frustrated people being like "it just doesnt make SENSE how they all start DANCING" and i just love it.

[studying-inwonderland]

Why can’t people get this through their thick skulls???