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Progression

On Saturday, it began. It began out of nowhere and I mistook it for laziness. At one hour in particular on that day, it got really bad. I prayed to the great Bodhisattva GuanYin to take my life away. I did not care where I was to go, I just wanted to end my life. I wanted the Goddess of Compassion to take my life away and allow my body to be without a soul. I prayed so hard for my death. After the hour, I seemed to be back to normal.

On Sunday, the feeling was revived, but stronger. I felt so empty, heavy, hurt, worthless, and hopeless. I felt like an abyss - I was the abyss and I kept falling. I could not pinpoint what had happened. All I know is that I was in the worst state I have ever been in and death slithered into my mind again. This time, I did not pray. I wanted to take my own life. I cried all day and nothing could help me. Family, boyfriend, friends - they were all mute to me. They spoke and I listened, but I didn’t hear anything. I wanted to die so badly and I didn’t even know what triggered such a dark feeling. I knew it would hurt those whom I love if I took my own life, but that was the only thought going into my head.

On Monday (today), I spoke with someone who I never thought I would open up to. This person was very kind and listened and talked to me very seriously. She understood me and suggested I talk to a professional (which later on I did, but did not seem to help very much). She talked me through what I was feeling and allowed me to cry my eyes out. On this day, I prayed to Lord Shiva to save me from this misery and bring me peace. I begged Buddha for this peace, too. 

I��m not sure where to continue from here. 

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GRE Exam Day (1)

On March 17th, 2018, I took my first GRE. I should note that I had not had the time to study for it other than during December and January. I had taken my first practice exam the day before the 17th and got a score that was not good but not as terrible as it may get. It was grueling but I had some confidence that I would do better on test day if the questions were any bit similar.

Keep reading

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Introduction

Welcome to my blog. For now, I am Bluberry Yogurt and this blog will focus on what I have in mind and what I want to get out. I will be focusing on daily activities (rather, ones that merit a blog post), struggles or mishaps that have happened that are worthy or sharing, motivational thoughts, and other miscellaneous thoughts that I think would be healthy to either make into a blog post so that I don’t have a mind full of clutter or thoughts that I believe may somehow help other individuals. 

A little bit about me is that I am a university student. I would prefer to not publish my university as of right now. I am a third year student majoring in Psychology and minoring in Statistics. I am also an undergraduate research assistant. My academic passions include statistical modeling of human behaviors and workplace efficiency. I hope to one day understand a better way of measuring human behaviors and how to increase productivity in the workplace in those who suffer from mental illnesses. But for now, I’m just a student learning about the basics.

My hobbies outside of school include watching TV shows, eating, sleeping, painting my nails, shopping, making puns, and the ever shameful drinking of vodka. Currently, my favorite TV show is Jane the Virgin. I’m also working my way through the second season of Stranger Things and awaiting ever so patiently for a new season of Orange is the New Black.

I guess that’s about it for now. Thank you for taking your time to read over this post (if you’ve made it this far) and welcome to my blog (if you’ve decided to follow). See you in my next post!

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My spread from a couple weeks ago! I think I’m finally starting to settle into a format that works for me and my schedule. Ft. pink hair Jimin who is the softest ever 🌸

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2.23.16 | trying something new for my desk space, this is how it looked like before … thoughts? hope everyone had a great beginning to their week! stay productive!! 

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New username! Because we all need a change.

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Galaxy-themed spread

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Two exams last week, two more this coming week. At least these are my last before finals. I came across this photo from senior year pt. 1 before I had a study blog- I had to post, my bebe turns one year old today ! 🌱

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as scary as change is, sometimes it’s for the better. remember this planner I bought a while back that I had no use for? well, for my first year of college, I’ve decided that using this planner as my bullet journal instead of my usual bullet journal set-up would be a little easier on my heart. don’t worry; I’m never giving up using my old bullet journal! I love it way too much. I’ll probably still use it for special spreads and journaling that I don’t want to put in my school planner. but I’ve realized that planning in my old bullet journal has become way too time-consuming as I really just want to focus on my studies at the moment. I hope you understand xxx

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bullet journalling is something extremely trendy atm and it’s an amazing way to keep your life in check while also being super aesthetic and impressing all your family and friends looking at the journal. it doesn’t always have to be the most extravagant thing in the world or even that neat. all that matters is that it’s able to function for you and what you want to do with it.

let’s start with the basics of starting a journal, shall we?

[1] GET A NOTEBOOK

this doesn’t have to be the big, nice expensive notebooks all the studyblrs use. if you want to splurge go ahead and get them, but you don’t necessarily need them. all you need is a simple notebook, whether it’s lined, unlined, gridded, or dotted.

here’s the common notebooks people use:

moleskine notebooks (usually the classic notebook, size large, and dotted pages)

leuchtturm 1917 notebook

essentials grid-lined notebook, large, a5

muji spirals

any dotted/grid lined notebook

of course, you obviously don’t need to use any of these, but these are the common ones people use. personally, i use a soft cover, large, gridded moleskine notebook, but i think any of these options would be great for anyone.

[2] FIND INSPIRATION

personally, i think this is one of the most important steps of starting a bullet journal. one, it allows you to figure out what you personally want to do with your bullet journal, and two, you can get a feel for the decorations. here’s where i find most of my inspirations:

°˖✧ instagram ✧˖° my favorite thing to do is scroll through instagram with different studygrams and their journals. here are some of my favorite accounts:

@boystudy

@journalsanctuary

@studyrose

@tbhstudying

@peachystudy

@studyng​

@smoinerd​

there’s a ton more than that, but that’s the first few that i saw in the collection i saved on instagram.

also that’s another tip i have for instagram. make sure to save them in collections so you can refer back to the images!! basically, to save in a collection there’s a little flag thing in the right hand side of the banner at the bottom of the picture that holds the like, comment, and dm buttons. press and hold on that and you’re asked to add to a collection. if you didn’t make one already, press the plus button and create a bullet journal inspiration collection and it’s exteeemely helpful. trust me on this.

°˖✧ tumblr ✧˖° personally, i don’t check bullet journal stuff on here as much so i don’t have any blog recommendations, but occasionally i would search up “bullet journal” and there’s a ton of images and masterposts that come up. i definitely suggest to check there!

if you want a basis of which blogs to check, the studygrams i mentioned above usually have a tumblr blog where they blog and repost other blogs’ bullet journal spreads so definitely check there.

the community is extremely interconnected so you can definitely find amazing inspiration for spreads and where to start on there!!

°˖✧ youtube ✧˖° a ha, this is where i always end up procrastinating my own homework and watch a ton of bullet journal videos.

these are really helpful if you want flip-throughs with explanations and the step -by-step process people take to make all of their spreads. most people upload their monthly spreads which is super helpful when you’re first setting up your bullet journal.

there’s a lot of setting up bujo videos as well, so you probably won’t get too lost.

these are the channels i like to watch (some are redundant to the studygrams whOOPS):

tbhstudying

smoinerd

studyquill

studywithinspo

journalsanctuary

amandarachlee

ememworld

Hannah Song

cheyenne barton

there’s a ton more bujo channels out there, these are just the ones i remember from seeing on my suggested page and to which i’m subscribed.

[3] KNOW FOR WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO USE YOUR JOURNAL

the whole point of your bullet journal is that you’re going to come back to it and use it again. many of my friends had tried to start a bullet journal and quit because they couldn’t keep up with it.

you’re going to want to make sure your bullet journal is functional for you and what you want to do with it. originally, the bullet journal was made as a personalized planner that you can use whenever you feel like it. personally, that’s for what i use it. i also like to make random color inspiration spreads and quote spreads. this is all up to you, though.

here’s some ideas for what you can use your bullet journal:

planner/agenda

journalling your feelings daily

doodles

song lyrics

mood boards

to-do lists

story boards

[4] GET YOUR WRITING UTENSILS AND START WRITING

this is the second most important step after you get your notebook. you want to have things with which you like to write so you’re motivated to go back to your notebook and start journalling.

you don’t need any of the fancy pens everyone has. in fact, you just need one pen and you’re good. some people like to use a lot of different colors, markers, and watercolors (i’m guilty of this) but it’s not necessary. i personally think the minimalistic bullet journals but i’m not very good at doodling, so i go kinda extravagant.

anyways, here are pens a lot of people like to use:

zebra sarasa

pilot juice

muji pens (0.38 when capped, 0.5 retractable)

uniball signo dx

pentel energel

pilot frixion

here’s some highlighters/markers (some are for calligraphy but if you want an article on how to learn calligraphy, please send me a message and i’ll definitely write one!!):

crayola supertips

kuretake zig brushables

kuretake zig true brush

zebra mildliners

tombow abt dual brush pens

tombow fudenosuke

pilot frixion pastel erasable highlighters

pentel sign brush pen

uni propus window highlighters

reminder: you don’t need any of these things!! these are just suggestions about which are often talked in the studyblr community.

[5] GO GET WRITING!!

this is where you have the most fun! go and start your bujo!

go put your pens to use!!

take that inspiration and make your own spreads!!

take your time and think about what you actually want to write. i have a ton of unused spreads because i didn’t like them/didn’t use them. the good thing about this system is that it’s adaptable; you can figure out what worked for you one month, what didn’t, and use that to work on the next month!

there’s multiple ways you can make your spreads. they can be kinda extravagant, or minimalistic. what i mean by extravagant is using the whole shebang: pictures, washi tape, calligraphy, watercolor, etc. it doesn’t have to be that way!! you can be minimalistic with just a pen and paper. they both look gorgeous.

for me, i like to do extravagant spreads. thus, i find a lot of my pictures here on whi and on pinterest. (my pinterest is ladyofthemidnights [plug, plug]) i usually pick one main color (besides black) to use every month and thus, i go to my collections to pick pictures within that specific color criteria.

after i find the pictures i want to use, i go ahead and put that in a document and print that off. i cut them out and lay them aside and start working on my monthly spreads.

for the monthly overview i used to use the traditional calendar layout but then i ended up switching to the list calendars like shown in the original bullet journal video. i like to make a mood board page with some of the pictures i pick out, washi tape that coordinates with the color of the month, and a song lyric/quote of some kind.

i’ve been trying to use a habit tracker but i always forget to fill it in.

[6] STAY MOTIVATED

now that you pulled all the stops to starting a bullet journal, it’s important that you keep up with it and you actually want to write in your journal.

staying motivated is important, whether it’d be by looking at a ton of pictures on social media or videos on youtube. nonetheless, you’d want to find a way to make you feel excited for writing in your notebook.

PSA: it doesn’t matter if your bujo is the most aesthetic thing on the planet. as long as you love it, it’s great and especially pretty.

the bujo is meant for functionality above all, as well. this system was created for people to be able to have a functional notebook to write down the things they need to write down that’s easily malleable. as long as you can write down what you need to write down, it’s a win.

…

fin.

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→ gigi’s bujo - weekly spread || october 16th - 22nd

finally deep cleaned by room and it feels so nice to have my things in their place. october feels like its flown by so fast, halloween is next week ! i’m so excited !!

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5:11 [favourite stationery] anything from muji, mildliners and tombow brush pens…a bit of mt washi tape doesn’t hurt either💦

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( 0 4 . 1 0 . 2 0 1 7 ) back home for a surprise visit until saturday, it feels so good to take a breather but i’m trying to stay up to date with my work. the plus side of that is that i get to visit the town’s new library for the first time!

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106:100 Good afternoon! Today, I will post two pictures. I didnt have time to post it yesterday. I was busy because I needed to finish to watch my law class and go to the football game. I know the football game is not related of being productive, but it was something I was looking forward. If you have any question about anything just ask . I will be happy to answer! 😘

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It reads very much like a journal. “Dear Diary, today I stole Rosalind Franklin’s data.”

Molecular biology prof, on James Watson’s book “The Double Helix” (via scienceprofessorquotes)

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I got my JLPT N3 results!!! I still can’t believe I got full marks for the listening section like what?!?! But I’m so happy with my results ahah hard work pays off!