stuckinjersey

[stuckinjersey]

I used to wonder if it was God's plan that I should be alone for so much of my life. But I found peace. I found happiness within people and the world.

-Lana Del Rey

[stuckinjersey]

“i have a girlfriend” “i have a boyfriend” ok well i have this dream that im hitting my dad with a baseball bat and he is screaming and crying for help

[stuckinjersey]

It's probably been 12 years since my father left

Left me fatherless

And I just used to say I hate him in dishonest jest

When honestly, I miss him like when I was six

And every time I got the chance to say it, I would swallow it

16, I'm hollow, intolerant, skip shots

I storm that whole bottle, I'll show you a role model

[stuckinjersey]

We can chill, and I can act like I don't wanna fuck

You can tell me all your problems like I really give one

But I give two for us 'cause you're the one that I want

Don't wanna seem like a punk pussy, that seems I'm a punk pussy

See when I'm with my friends, I just put on a front

But in the back of my top, I'm writing songs about we

We as including I and yourself, making three

[stuckinjersey]

You were too good, I should have known

You were a prize my hands could never hold

She says you, you should admit it

She knows I, I probably won't

That he is the sound you want now

And I, I'm just the noise you don't

[stuckinjersey]

Not enough midwest emo in the world to get us out of this one buddy

[stuckinjersey]

How low is your self-esteem?

How low could it possibly be?

And I know, I know you're in love with me

And I've been ignoring you

I will stop cutting my pants into shorts

I will address the issues I cannot ignore

And I will do the things I think you might like

And I will be alone, probably the rest of my life

[stuckinjersey]

[stuckinjersey]

The good thing about this cast

Is I can still hold a knife

So if you ever twist my arm again

I'll be sure to put up a fight

You see, I just don't wanna do the things

That you want me to do

But I'm a sucker, so I do them

'Cause I am still in love with you

//

'Cause I was young

I thought I didn't have to care about anything

But I'm older now and know that I should

//

[stuckinjersey]

[stuckinjersey]

[stuckinjersey]

Still I scrub and scrub 'til my body bleeds

Convince myself I am coming clean

Forget and ignore who I used to be

That kid is never coming back

[stuckinjersey]

I found God

On the corner of First and

Amistad

Where the west

Was all but won

But all alone

Smoking his last cigarette

I said, "Where you been?"

He said, "Ask anything"

"Where were you when everything was falling apart?"

//

Lost and insecure

You found me, you found me

Lying on the floor

Surrounded, surrounded

Why'd you have to wait?

Where were you, where were you?

[stuckinjersey]

[stuckinjersey]

Remember when I was so sick and you didn't believe me?

Then you got sick too and guess who took care of you?

You hated that, didn't you, didn't you?

Now when you look at me, you're condemned to see

The monster your mother made you to be

And there you got me, that's how you got free, you got rid of me

But now I ran out of white dove feathers

To soak up the hot piss that comes through your mouth

Every time you address me

Alone

Leave me alone

Leave me alone, leave me alone

Leave me alone, leave me alone

[stuckinjersey]

[stuckinjersey]

You choke my throat with words of wonder

You make it hard to breathe

Your love's so cold, just like an arrow

Pierced through my skin, I bleed

I knew you were no angel

But God, what did I do?

Do you remember what I said that first time we met?

Stay away, why couldn't you stay away?

I never needed anyone, but now that you are gone

Stay away, won't you just stay away?