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strong-bunny · 12 hours ago

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fresh <3

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strong-bunny · 12 hours ago

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Why are non-western girls so much better at being good looking and things related to beauty ?

In the nicest way possible our countries aren't really progressive in the social politics part and we aren't 'woke'. There is no need to be 'inclusive' in our countries and hence the high and strict beauty standards have stayed and forced people to keep up :)

At least thats why I think it is anyway. I know there is lot of talk about the impossibility of western standards but in reality they aren't as demanding or detailed at the ones in the East. But not every non-white here in the West participates in their culture's full beauty regime, only the ones who have either lived in their home country or the ones who have very strong ties.

I think there is a respect for beauty where I come from that isn't found here. Standards back home are higher and people don't care about hurting your feelings. People don't spend time there pandering to your conscience and they don't constantly make sure that they're not hurting other people's feelings. But criticism comes with help. If you are fat, you will be told to lose the weight and be given different herbal teas and recipes to take back home, if your hair is greying you will be given a family henna recipe, if your skin is looking dull you will get three different aestheticians numbers to call. If a woman isn't pretty it isn't because she was born ugly, no it was because she isn't taking care of herself.

I've never really heard anybody in my community ever call anyone ugly instead they would say "oh she has potential but she isn't maximising it". My mother is a firm believer that everyone has the potential so it is themselves who let them down if they aren't 'pretty' and not society. My mother called it 'negligence of oneself' if they failed to look after themselves.

When I was growing up there was a strong emphasis on wearing the right clothes and doing your hair the correct way to suit yourself. Yes there are beauty standards but most of the time if you take care of yourself in the way that you need to be taken care of, then you're already halfway there.To us, wanting to look beautiful is not vain and we don't make fun of other people for the things they do to beautify themselves. Where woman are ridiculed here for doing all these things, women back home are praised and asked for their secrets.

I have this auntie of mine who comes from a very wealthy family and who are married into another wealthy family and this auntie is one of those people who's always dressed to the nines, she always has her make up done well, her hair is always shiny and kept long. I thought who better to ask about beauty standards and beauty rituals if not her. Also she has been recently widowed and she doesn't really need her house as much as she used to.So I asked her why does she bother to look this good and put this much effort into her look when she really doesn't have anyone to show it to. I mean a lot of people would say that she would only look good for her husband but her husband is no longer with us and she is has enough respect in society so she really can do whatever she wants so no-one would say anything if she were to ho out sporting a birds nest, so why bother ? She told me that it was a sign of the respect she held for herself. They way you carry yourself and present yourself to society shows how much you respect your being and it sets the tone of how others treat you. She was her own to take care of and it was her responsibility that her health and beauty was in top condition no matter her circumstances. How much effort someone puts in is proportional to how much respect they have for themselves.

Also, for non-western girls with whom I have spoken to, beautifying is not a luxury but a daily habit. We don't see going to the spa and getting treatments as luxury and a one time thing, it is part of life. And of course not everyone can afford to go to spas and salons all the time so they learn the skills themselves. Can't afford a salon, that's okay, learn how to shampoo your head properly, learn how to do shiatsu head massage and learn how to cut your own hair and how to do a Russian blow-out. I come from a culture where a woman's social capital comes from what beauty treatments she can do for others; her worth comes for what she can for other women. I was taught how to give a facial and how to do lymphatic massage at five. When I didn't show any interest in learning how to do make up in my teens, my mother was absolutely distraught because now how was I going to be able to face society if I was of no use to the other women ? In a way it's almost as if all the beauty skills that you learn is not for you but for your community. I was saying of course not everyone is going to be able to afford the luxury of going establishments so either people learn at home or someone takes one for the team and goes to learn how to be a professional beautician. I know many aunties in my community who went to beauty school and those are the very same aunties who are the most popular in the community. Beauty is a bonding experience for us.

There are other many reasons to why the women in the West are not on par to the women from the rest of the world but I think I will leave this here. In honesty I don't think things are going to change anytime soon either.

Daphne x

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strong-bunny · 13 hours ago

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