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it's so funny when 911 and supernatural fans argue on twitter. sorry. they're having an annoying off

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How well do you see color?

I’m cry I scored 60, I feel blind

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i love finding out the meaning of slangs for “attractive woman” in various languages

chick (english) - baby chicken Schnecke (german) - snail/slug sild (danish) - herring fıstık (turkish) - pistachio тёлочка (russian) - heifer ծիտ (armenian) - sparrow

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What’s the most simple thing you’ve ever had to explain to a fully competent adult?

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An embroidery of the Wikipedia page for embroidery.

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i'm terrified of my chemical romance what if they do something

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personally i just think it should be illegal to have more than 2 things going Bad with your body at a time. it's just excessive. i want to speak to a manager. the current hardware was not designed with the user in mind.

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rawing people on couches is so hard yet most of my ideas involve that

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I’d hold out for a third and finally successful assassination attempt, but the idea of a jd Vance pregnancy does not make me feel any better

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The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

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It is okay to mourn the child that you were, or the child that you could have been. It is okay to be sad or angry that no one protected you like you should have been protected. It is okay to grieve.

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Yesterday my little brother told me something very sweet and touching, that when he was a kid and had nightmares about monsters chasing him or whatever he would be able to end the nightmare by finding me in the dream and I would protect him by fighting off the zombies, or carrying him away. This is adorable, and makes me feel like the greatest older sibling in the world, but the hilarious thing is that when I was a kid I had nightmares of needing to save him from zombies and such. so many dreams where he was in trouble and I needed to save him. Like my nightmares began where his ended. Low key I think he mastered the ability to psychically transfer his nightmare to me as a child and I'm kind of annoyed with him.

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Tv shows need 20 episode seasons because you used yo be able to make a whole episode that was just a dream sequences with no consequences and nobody got mad if you played around with no plot because there where 19 other episodes of plot

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New Zealand Gothic.

- Come and see our giant kiwifruit. Come and see our giant carrot. Even come and see our giant Lemon and Paeroa bottle. But don’t think, even for a second, about what left them behind.

- You get stuck in traffic. Your dad blames it on foreign drivers. You don’t bother correcting him. You don’t bother telling him that all of these vehicles are unoccupied.

- They say the Moa went extinct. But then, what’s the explanation for the enormous avian figure looming over your bed each night? You don’t know. You just close your eyes and hope it will be gone by morning.

- “I’m just going down to the dairy, you wanna come?”, your friend asks. You refuse. Too often have people uttered that line and never come back. There’s too many dairies. All of them interconnected, woven with each other. They say that you stay lost forever, but you might as well get a phone top-up while you’re there.

- They say that in this country, you are never more than 40 Kilometers from the beach. Everywhere you go, the beach follows. Distant, but close enough to be unnerving. The sand and surf rush to catch up to you as you speed up.

-There is a town in Auckland that used to be overrun by chickens. The local school incorporated them into their school logo. The local school regularly worshiped the chickens. One day, the chickens vanished. The school still worships, waiting. 

- We are proud of our sports. We are proud of the All Blacks. Proud of the all encompassing void that is our national rugby team. 

- The weatherman consults the weather map. He does not find a satisfactory answer. The weatherman consults ancient deities. He does not find a satisfactory answer. The weatherman writes “30% chance of rain” and prays it will be enough.

- As a child, I always watched “What Now?”. They never gave me an answer. I still don’t know what to do now.

- That ad you like comes on. You watch it. You laugh. The nation laughs. But most of all, the government laughs.

- They tell me Lake Taupo was caused by an enormous volcano thousands of years ago. I point questioningly to the enormous figure off the coastline, making other enormous craters with its mighty fists. They pretend they don’t see. 

- The glowworms in Waitomo are trying to communicate. We just don’t know who the intended recipient is.

- Tourists come, looking for Middle Earth. We laugh. We point them to the movie sets. We protect the last of the hobbits.

- We hear our country mentioned in international media. We are excited. Maybe someone will come and free us this time.

- You stare at the Moeraki boulders. You have done this every day since that time you swear you saw one of them move. You spend hours, waiting, watching. Just as you turn to leave, you notice that one is cracked. It was not cracked yesterday. You continue to leave, faster now.

- You drive through the countryside. All the small towns you pass have their own little quirk. This one has a bathroom made mostly of recycled glass bottles. This one has an enormous farmers market. This one has it’s inhabitants cowering inside their homes. They are hiding from you. You drive through the countryside.

(Click for a followup post)

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For the love of god DO NOT give money to Mike King or Gumboot Friday