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._.
Born to don't wanna. Forced to gotta
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i am gay and tired, reblog this if you are also gay and tired
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So my brain has been itching to write something but I don't really have any concrete ideas, so I'm gonna rumble about my favorite blorbos instead.
And the first one is Jin from "Under the Greenlight" by JAXX.
Oh, boy....(I would like to personally apologize to my tattoo artists, who had to listen to me gushing over a 2D man)
To make it short, Jin is a good person, who was dealt very shitty cards. He was abandoned at the doorstep of the orphanage with only a piece of paper saying "jin", no one could find any info on him: his parents, his ethnicity, nothing. All he had was his name. As he grew, the head of the orphanage took interest in him (to be more exact interest in breaking him), which turned into regular physical abuse. Jin took it all head on, because he wanted to protect other kids from sharing the same fate. Jin believed that he had "greater capacity for enduring violence", so when the headmaster chose another victim, Jin snapped and killed the bastard. He had to flee the orphanage (promising the boy to return for him).
Free from headmaster's abuse Jin got caught in the snare of the outside world, barely getting by. Hard work didn't get him far, so in desperation to get more resources and power to protect those he treasures he joins a gang, selling drugs, killing people, doing whatever it takes to rise above his circumstances (and keep his promise).
But soon guilt and self-loathing started to weigh on him, so as any traumatized to hell and back human being he taps in his self-destructive urges and turns to drugs, continuing the endless cycle of meaningless cruelty.
However, the reason why I love this character isn't his fucked up backstory. The beauty of this character lies in the fact that despite everything he kept his integrity and his principles. Has he done some unimaginably fucked up shit? Yes. But he still inspired loyalty, respect and love from those around him, because despite being repeatedly beaten down by the world, he cared. Despite having blood on his hands he tried to do the right thing and be the person he wanted to be. Is he a good person? Yes (at least I think so). Because his goal was not just meaningless pursuit of power, he wanted this power to protect those he loves, even if it means getting his hands dirty.
So, to conclude, I love Jin. He is a broken soul yearning to belong, to have a home, that endured so much pain and suffering but managed to keep his integrity, his core intact. I think his story shows that, although, sometimes life feels like a struggle, it's worth enduring if you know what you're fighting for. And, you might lose yourself somewhere along the way, but you can always find a road back to your authentic self, and even discover some new sides.
To put it simply, cling to hope with a ferocity of a cornered beast, because it will get better.
#potato rumbles#under the greenlight#jin cheongwoo#i'm so happy him and matthew got to have their happily ever after
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This story will forever hold a very special place in my heart....my mushroom son and his war-criminal husband....
- little mushroom
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“I had a room to myself as a kid, but my mother was always quick to point out that it wasn’t my room, it was her room and I was merely permitted to occupy it. Her point, of course, was that my parents had earned everything and I was merely borrowing the space, and while this is technically true I cannot help but marvel at the singular damage of this dark idea: That my existence as a child was a kind of debt and nothing, no matter how small, was mine. That no space was truly private; anything of mine could be forfeited at someone else’s whim.” ― Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House
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Want to learn something new in 2022??
Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)
40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)
Excellent basic crochet video series
Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)
Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)
How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)
Another drawing character faces video
Literally my favorite art pose hack
Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??
Introduction to flying small aircrafts
French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding
Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)
Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)
Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)
Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:
Calculus 1 (full semester class)
Learn basic statistics (free textbook)
Introduction to college physics (free textbook)
Introduction to accounting (free textbook)
Learn a language:
Ancient Greek
Latin
Spanish
German
Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)
French
Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)
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ever since i read that brook and sanji get up at 5 am, there's been two possibilities in my mind:
1. Brook gets up naturally at that hour and then Sanji starts to do it too because he's not gonna leave one of his crewmates without breakfast longer than necessary
2. Sanji already had the habit of waking up at 5 to start prepping breakfast and Brook gets up too to keep him company
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"Not everything is gay" babe youre saying this on the wrong platform. Everything is kinda gay on Tumblr.
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I was thinking about Luffy not wanting to be a hero when I realized something.
His very simple yet insightful line, "heroes share their meat, I want all the meat", very clearly shows that heroes make sacrifices. He doesn't want to make sacrifices. Perhaps it's because he's been the sacrifice himself.
Garp is a hero. He's cool too. But he was hardly present in Luffy's childhood. No matter how much he'd get beaten by his grandpa, I bet he'd still rather have him around than not ("being alone is worse than being hurt."). Yet Garp very clearly makes a sacrifice here. Being a marine being a priority over his grandson in the absence of the child's father.
Later, after Enies Lobby, he finds out that Dragon is a revolutionary. Literally a hero of the people. What's he done? The cost he paid for a greater good? He sacrificed Luffy.
So, while Luffy loves really deeply and fights for this love, he would rather have a death grip on his precious ones by being a pirate than let go and sacrifice and become a hero.
This may very well just be me looking too deeply into it, but the idea of Luffy being the sacrifice just did something to my insides that is hard to explain.
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Голоса в моей голове требовали высказаться, родилось вот это.
Две девушки сидели на крыше многоэтажки. Ушедшее на покой солнце забрало с собой последние крохи тепла, оставив лишь холодно-кусачий ветер.
Одна из девушек поежилась, она была одета в чёрные джинсы и чёрное худи, которые ни капли не спасали от осеннего мороза, ее красные волосы выделялись на фоне тёмной одежды подобно последним лучам закатного солнца среди городской серости.
Вторая девушка будто совсем не чувствовала холода, хотя на ней была всего лишь фланелевая рубашка. Её длинные чёрные волосы трепал ветер, но она этого не замечала, слишком увлеченная городским пейзажем. Между ними стояла бутылка дешёвого вина.
Красноволосая отпила из бутылки, поморщилась и сказала:
- Есть более быстрые способы свести меня в могилу, чем эта дрянь и воспаления лёгких от этого ублюдского холода.
- Да ладно тебе, от этой дряни ты максимум ослепнешь, к тому же она помогает согреться, - ответила ей черноволосая, забрав у неё бутылку и сделав большой глоток.
- Ха...Ха....Ха. Дай сюда. - красноволосая вырвала бутылку из рук подруги и отпила с недовольным лицом. - напомни мне в следующий раз самой выбирать выпивку.
Черноволосая отвернулась, пытаясь скрыть, что улыбка сошла с её лица.
- Ну и зачем ты вытащила меня в такую холодину на крышу? - спросила красноволосая, ткнув подругу в плечо.
- Хотелось вспомнить старые добрые, - ответила черноволосая, пожав плечами, - да и мне кажется, тебе не помешало бы отвлечься от всего ненадолго.
-Ха, напомни мне ещё не пытаться ничего от тебя скрывать, - усмехнувшись, сказала красноволосая.
Между ними повисла тишина. Не сказать чтобы уютная или неловкая, просто на секунду каждая задумалась о своём. Тишина накрыла их стеклянным колпаком, спрятав на маленькую бесконечность от остального мира. Часы-минуты-секунды спустя красноволосая вновь приложилась к бутылке и сказала:
- Просто я пришла к пугающему осознанию, что я совсем не знаю чего хочу: начиная от того что съесть на ужин, заканчивая тем, что мне дальше делать со своей жизнью. Я живу, потому что еще не умерла, но разве это можно назвать жизнью? Я как маятник, который движется на инерции и я боюсь того момента, когда остановлюсь. Все мои большие мечты и грандиозные планы рассыпались прахом или превратились в петлю на шее, которая затягивается все туже и туже.
Красноволосая прервалась, чтобы снов�� сделать глоток, а затем, нервно хихикнув продолжила:
- Моя жизнь бессмыслено-пуста или пустая до бессмысленности? Черт его знает...
За весь монолог черноволосая ни разу не прервала её, она лишь пристально смотрела на неё. Красноволосая невольно заерзала под внимательным взглядом подруги, она уже собиралась перевести все в шутку, как черноволосая вдруг сказала:
- Жизнь бессмыслена.
Красноволосая удивлённо уставилась на подругу, она ожидала слов утешения, но определённо не этого. Не обращая внимания на шок другой девушки, черноволосая продолжила:
- Но это даёт свободу каждый день выбирать новые смыслы: чашка чая с чем-то вкусным в конце тяжёлого дня, новая книга от любимого автора, фильм, выход которого ждешь, концерт любимой группы, да что угодно! Не важно насколько глупыми и несущественными кажутся эти вещи на первый взгляд, если они дают тебе силы жить, если они приносят радость, значит они чего-то стоят. Мы любимым ставить себе недостяжимые цели и искать непостижимые смыслы, но если каждый день - подъем на Эверест, то жизнь превращается в испытание, а ведь она может быть захватывающим приключением.
- А что делать если даже этих маленьких смыслов не видишь? - спросила красноволосая.
- Тогда сделай каждый новый вдох своим смыслом. Просто дыши. Дыши пока не станет легче, пока не найдёшь что-то, что заставит тебя полюбить жизнь. И не важно насколько бесполезным или неважным это кажется другим.
Черноволосая приобняла подругу за плечи:
- Дальше обязательно станет легче.
На крыше многоэтажки сидела девушка, её красные волосы развивались на ветр�� подобно языкам пламени. Стемнело. Девушка сделала глоток из стоящей рядом бутылки, встала, подошла к краю крыши и посмотрела вниз. Но налетевший вдруг порыв ветра оттолкнул её от края. Девушка вздохнула, развернулась и пошла к пожарному выходу. Бросив последний взгляд на огни города, она прошептала:
- Дальше обязательно станет легче.
П.с. я до сих пор не в курсе как правильно оформлять диалоги и прямую речь 👌
#creative writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr#i tried#писанина#писательство#поток мыслей#попытка не забыть родной язык
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Mundane but beautiful moments
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This city is a two-faced God who can grant you reprieve and healing and then grind you into fine dust with its teeth
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…Zoro fondly watching his captain being so excited he does little hops on the ships railing.
Ughhh my heart..
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a mary oliver quote that peeled me like a fruit
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Dealing With Executive Dysfunction - A Masterpost
The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.
The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.
The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.
The “get stuff done while you wait” method.
The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.
The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.
The “break the task into smaller steps” method.
The “treat yourself like a pet” method.
The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.
The “put on a persona” method.
The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.
The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.
The “wait for a trigger” method.
The “do it for your future self” method.
The “might as well” method.
The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.
The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.
The “make it easy” method.
The “junebugging” method.
The “just show up” method.
The “accept when you need help” method.
The “make it into a game” method.
The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.
The “trick yourself” method.
The “break it into even smaller steps” method.
The “let go of should” method.
The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.
The “fork theory” method.
The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.
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