streetlvght

[streetlvght]

[streetlvght]

kissed by a rose

pairing: drag queen!seo changbin x afab!reader

warnings: crossdressing, angst, discussions of sexuality, coming out, and politics, changbin & reader’s sexualities are not labeled but neither are straight, changbin uses she/her pronouns in drag!!!, kissing, finger sucking, clit play, fingering (f!rec), grinding/unpenatrative sex, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, light feminization, blowjob, exhibitionism

w/c: 17k

a/n: this is my own treat to myself for finishing kinktober and an ode to queer culture and art that i love and admire so much! i have so much to say yet so little words to describe how bleak things have felt since last tuesday, so this is how i’m coping. i put so much of my heart into this, so i hope you enjoy! reblogs and comments are always appreciated :)

the first time you see her, her hair is long and curled. poppy pink waves cascade like water down her back to taper off at a corseted waist. you can’t see the corset through her tiny little nightgown, but you know she’s wearing one - her shoulders too wide and bodice too thick for her waist to be that cinched. 

her cute little nightie is as pink as her hair, something flowy and ruffled at the sleeves and skirt. her tan legs are hugged by white, fishnet tights, and you couldn’t walk in her shoes if you tried, let alone perform in them. delicate ankles rest under the thin straps of her — at least — five inch platform heels. her painted toes peek out from underneath pink, feather-covered vamps. 

you’re standing on the wooden bench of the corner booth in your local bar to see over the crowd. it’s stuffed to the gills, locals and college students alike pour through the double-doors and into the street to see the local college pride club’s annual drag show. you’re lucky you and your friends got here early enough to get a spot as good as you did. 

even in her pumps, she’s shorter than the other girls performing throughout the gig, and you know you’d be pouting the whole night if you weren’t able to see her as well as you can now. she’s had you hooked since your eyes landed on her. 

she starts out on the stage. you’re too enraptured by her presence to hear the host call her name at all, eyes locked on what you can only describe as a princess. the floor of the bar is dark, lights solely focused on the small stage towards the back. a britney number starts. or madonna, maybe even gaga, but that’s not what you are paying attention to. all wherewithal flies out the door when she steps down from the stage and makes her way through the crowd. she’s the perfect performer, never missing a lyric in her lip sync even while interacting happily with the bar patrons. she lets them touch her, stick dollar bills in the holes in her tights or in her bra. your hands begin to sweat the closer she flurries to your booth, and you reach shakily into the pocket of your jean skirt, praying to any higher power that your grip won’t slip on your steadily recording phone. 

a kick of her smooth leg has her dancing in front of your booth, overlined pink lips dramatically mouthing the words of whatever song that plays over the booming speakers, sharply lined eyes so beautifully expressive. you do almost drop your phone when she looks from each of your friends to you, long lashes fluttering as she blinks demurely at the flash of your camera. 

she pouts sweetly, eyebrows pulled up as she points a manicured finger to your opposite hand, the hand with your money in it. you look down and back up to her, and her pout turns into a bright smile when you give her a goofy, bobble headed nod. she takes the bill from your hand and pops it in front of her face to check the amount, never missing a word of her lip sync. her pretty lips quirk at the corners, a sweet, downwards smile. she looks into your camera again as she folds the bill and puts it in the bralette cup of her slip. she wiggles her shoulders at you, her breasts, and leaves you with a cute pucker of her bright, pink lips. 

and just like that, she’s gone, bounding away with a whip of her curled hair and a twirl of her chiffon skirt to interact with other patrons for the rest of the song. 

your best friend turns to you with bulging eyes and a wide open smile, but it turns right into a cackle at the look on your face. 

“oh god, i just watched you fall in love with a drag queen in like, real time. oh my god!” 

the longer the show goes on, the more accurate you feel your best friend to be. the other performances from the other wonderful queens don’t hold a candle to the pretty pink one, and you’re constantly standing on your tiptoes and craning your neck to try and catch sight of her again. you find that she’s just as captivating while talking and answering questions on stage with the other queens after several performances, but what really does you in is something else entirely. 

it’s her laugh. there’s something so distinctly familiar about it, but you can’t recall exactly what it could be. so silly, so bright and goofy and loud that it makes the microphone shrill when she brings it to her mouth. it just makes her laugh harder, even when the tall, slender queen next to her slaps her on the shoulder. 

“someone’s giggle box must be turned over~” the tall queen chuckles. miss honey. you’d recognize her anywhere. that sleek, long hair and those mile-long legs are undeniable. she’s a legend in the local drag community. “changmi~ sweetheart, baby, wifey. i’m losing hearing in my right ear.” 

what a beautiful name for such a beautiful queen.  

changmi. changmi changmi changmi. bright, bold, and beautiful changmi. poised and lovely, and so personable too. changmi. 

you see her again that night right before you leave, and she’s just as stunning as ever. she’s still in her pink get-up, her hair and makeup still perfectly set even after several performances under the harsh lighting of the stage. changmi’s elbows rest against the bar as she speaks to the bartender and sips on something lime green and glittery. your friends flock around you like a gaggle of geese, giggling and nudging and pointing their fingers at the pretty queen at the bar. you’re praying for the ground to swallow you whole when changmi turns to your group and flips her hair over one broad shoulder, beckoning you all with her hand afterwards and pitching her voice like she’s known you all for years and waiting for a group hug. you can’t pass that up for the world, no matter how embarrassed you are, and you don’t even mind when changmi’s drink sloshes over the rim of her glass and onto the back of your shirt. the heat of her arm around your back is certainly more important. 

your friends launch right into giving her their compliments. so many people are talking at once that you can hardly keep up, but changmi takes it all in stride, nodding her head and smiling big and holding hands with your friends when necessary. it isn’t until your friends begin pouting about your uber arriving soon that changmi turns to you. 

“i think i’ve heard from all of these cuties but you.” your heart almost triples in size when her gaze focuses on you, when she directs her smile to you. “what did you think of my gig?” 

“you’re so fucking pretty!” is what you blurt instead, and all of your tipsy friends shriek again. maybe they’re not the only tipsy ones after all. maybe if you had a few less drinks you’d realize just how familiar her voice is. “like, you’re perfect! you’re the prettiest one here.” 

changmi scuffs the front of her pump on the floor shyly and takes another sip of her sparkly drink before she cocks her head. “but miss honey is here. how can i be the prettiest when she’s here?” she’s teasing, you can tell by the cute little smirk adorning her plump lips. 

“oh, i’d- i mean, she’s pretty, but i think you’re prettier. you’re just- like, wow!” 

her hair tickles your arm when she throws her head back to laugh. you eye the pretty, pink wispies and find yourself smiling too. her laugh is infectious. your moment is interrupted by the start of a new song over the speakers as another queen clacks onto the stage. changmi turns her head to see who’s performing before she squeezes your arm. her hand is surprisingly calloused, a little rough against your skin but still sweetly warm. 

“flattery will get you everywhere, but you’ll have to take me on a date first if you want me to put out~” she hums with a smile. “ah, and thank you for the big tip, baby doll! i love big, juicy tips!” with a wink and a twirl of her skirt she’s gone again, slipping through the packed crowd to watch the other queen. 

when you get home that night, you don’t even bother taking your makeup off before you crawl into bed and focus on your phone. you sound insane in the background of most of your videos, shrill shrieks and lyrics sung off key. it’s nearly as bad as you sound at concerts or festivals, but you don’t care about that. all you care about is the shaky, four minute and forty-seven second video of changmi’s main performance that now sits in your favorites folder. you lose count of how many times you replay the video in its entirety, thumb repeatedly rolling back the footage of your interaction with her and pausing on her puckered lips. 

you can still feel the warmth of her hand on your arm underneath the covers, as sure as a brand. 

it isn’t until you do a deep dive on changmi the next day that it clicks why she’s so familiar. 

changmi’s instagram is a mess. it’s so endearing that you can’t help but giggle as you scroll through her public account, passing by pictures of half eaten korean dishes, deep blue skies, and birthday shoutouts to her close friends. 

her drag pictures are mesmerizing. some are professionally taken at her gigs, some are cute selfies with what seems to be her signature peace sign. you find yourself saving several of changmi’s posts to come back and gawk over again and again. she’s so broad in the shoulders, her biceps must be the size of your head, but her drag is delicate. it’s all spun-sugar and glitter, full of pastels and soft fabrics. even her over-the-top makeup is somewhat daintier than you’re used to from other queens in the local scene. 

her pictures out of drag, though, nearly send you reeling. 

you swipe through so many gym pictures that you can almost taste protein powder through your phone screen. sometimes it’s a real turn off, honestly, most times it’s a real turn off. male posturing can be so off putting, but this. this has knocked you off your feet. changmi’s never shirtless in her gym pictures, but you can still see the thick outline of defined pecs through her tight dri-fit shirts. the bulge of her flexing arms has you gulping the longer you stare. her cute cheeks always seem to be pink with exertion, her curly hair spikes at the ends with sweat. 

you know that face. 

that face used to sit next to you in math class, it used to shoot basketball badly with you in gym. 

you haven’t seen changbin seo in years. he’s bulked up more than you could have ever imagined since you both graduated high school and is still as handsome as ever. changbin was always handsome, but he’s grown into himself. he exudes confidence, self-assuredness. he’s still short, still has that fluffy hair and the scar on his chin. 

but now he wears tiny dresses on the weekends, he wears long, beautiful wigs and does his makeup better than you ever could. he dances in heels you would bust your ass in. he gets booked for brunches and bachelorette parties and pride parades. 

you didn’t run in the same circle back then, but changbin was always friendly to you. to everyone, really. it makes sense that he’s still so loved, that he could create a persona that brings joy and love and light to so many communities that need it. 

you’re not really expecting him to follow you back, for changmi to follow you back, but not too long after you click that little blue button on her profile, a notification pops up on your phone. 

kissedbychangmi followed you back!

another one follows in quick succession. 

kissedbychangmi liked your post. 

you don’t even remember posting pictures last night. a lot of the night is still a blur, but swiping through your own pictures makes you smile. you had so much fun with your friends - the group pics are cute, the candid ones are even cuter. the last one in the set almost makes you smack yourself on the forehead, but you can’t help but sputter out an embarrassed laugh. it’s a blurry selfie of you, with your tongue sticking out the side of your mouth. changmi is in the background in the middle of a death drop. 

kissedbychangmi commented: tag meee!! >< 

your heart beats a little faster at the comment, and you feel a bit ridiculous because of it. get it together! get a grip! you’re not the same person you were in high school; you’re not the same person who flushed hot under any ounce of earnest attention from changbin or who loitered pathetically by your locker to see him grab his books on the way to class. 

you do tap the three little dots in the corner of your post though, thumb moving down towards the icon in the bottom left corner to type in her username and tag her in the picture. 

changbin’s never been on your instagram before, even if this isn’t necessarily changbin. you can’t help but feel a little proud. 

your high school self would be ecstatic. 

the next time you see her, you’re on your own. still in the same corner booth, but on your own. you couldn’t stay away if you tried. she had hopped on instagram live earlier while she did her makeup and got ready, so you already know what her makeup looks like before she steps out on stage. 

her outfit, though… that’s another story. 

your reaction to it must be like something out of an old cartoon - eyes bulging out of your skull, tongue lolling out of your mouth, hearts floating around your head and all. 

she comes out on stage wrapped in a fuzzy pink towel. she could have stayed in that for all you care; her smooth, nylon covered legs are a sight for sore eyes on their own, her massive arms an added plus. 

you’ve only seen one of her gigs in person. you’ve watched enough reels on her instagram to know that most of them are filled with songs from early two thousands pop queens. her performances are fun and upbeat. you had no clue that changmi could be this… sensual. 

she’s a tease, thick fingers fussing daintily with the knot of the towel before she smirks and pulls them away again. she lifts them in the air instead, framing her face cutely before finally lifting them above her head to twirl her hands around each other. the curtain bangs of the blonde and pink wig she wears frame her cheeks with pretty, curly ringlets. the ponytail behind her head is short but big, teased and bouffanted high like something from the sixties. 

you swear your heart stops beating in your chest when changmi finally drops the towel. the roar of the crowd in the bar is so loud that you can’t hear the music over the speakers anymore, but changmi doesn’t miss a beat, smiling through her lyrics while teasingly acting like she’s going to toss the towel to someone. she’s wearing one of her signature pink slips again, but this one is sheer. it’s baby pink and sheer, with white lace accents adorning the chest and skirt hem. there’s a bow right on the lace on the middle of her chest. 

what gets to you the most though is the fact that her nightie is slit right up the middle, the cut ending right where the lace at her chest starts, leaving so much beautiful, tan skin on display. changmi isn’t wearing a breastplate like she usually is, but her already thick pecs are contoured to give the illusion of voluptuous breasts. through the sheer fabric, you can see the brown peaks of her puffy nipples. she’s wearing a pair of skimpy, frilly panties underneath the slip too, not quite a thong, but they don’t cover her cheeks all the way. you’re seeing more of changmi — of changbin — than you ever have before. she’s corseted right above the panties. it’s small, white, and lacy, cinching her waist to give her more of an hourglass figure but still showing enough skin of her midsection to have your mouth watering.  

changmi bends at the hip, pigeon toeing in her pretty pink heels at the edge of the stage so she can grab tips from frantically waving hands. she spends a long time up there swiveling her hips to the music and mouthing the lyrics before deciding to walk the floor. she sits on the edge and holds out her hand, legs crossed and toes pointed, just waiting for someone to help her down. 

it’s so cute, such a little tease. someone from the crowd rushes to the stage to lend their hands to help her down, but all she gives are the dainty tips of her little, thick fingers. she slips gracefully down the edge of the stage and bites the nail of her thumb with a smirk when the skirt of her tiny gown hitches above her panties, showing the fat of her ass and her perfectly padded hips. 

you scramble to take your phone out then. you wanted to watch her performance without the lens of your camera in the way. you wanted to see it with your own eyes, but you can’t miss another second, you want to remember this, you want a record of it. unlike the first night you saw her, she waltzes around the opposite side of the bar first. her ponytail bounces when she blows kisses and flaunts herself around to different patrons. 

time stands still when changmi turns your way. you can tell she recognizes you right away because the smile on her face shines brighter, burns hotter. you’re not the only one on the left side of the room, not even close, but she hones in on you, slowly dancing her way to you until she’s kicking her foot up on the booth bench between your legs. changmi looks right into your camera, mouths her lyrics and tosses her ponytail like she’s performing just for you. 

her plump lips form a pout, and her drawn brows pinch at the corners. changmi lifts her hand and places the tip of her index finger on her chin, cocking her head in question. you blink wildly at her until you realize what it is she wants, something you can’t believe you forgot, so you’re scrambling once more to pull a crisply folded bill out of your pocket. your bank account grumbles, but it’s the least she deserves. the only difference between now and the first night is that changmi doesn’t reach for the fifty dollar bill herself, just lowers her leg and cocks her hip, lifting the side of her slip up for you.

when you hesitate, changmi snaps the elastic band of her panties in encouragement. you reach for her then, sliding the bill under the elastic of her lace panties. her skin radiates warmth. the flutter of her nightie brings a sweet, clean waft of scent with it. 

she’s beautiful from the stage but even more beautiful up close. you can really see her now, see the blush-pink heart on the tip of her round, contoured nose, the white glitter shadow underneath her almond shaped eyes, the pink on top. you’re too busy being mesmerized by her features that you don’t notice her reaching for your phone. it isn’t until it’s out of your hand that you realize changmi’s taken it, lip syncing straight to your camera and filming herself from all different angles. the nail in your coffin is when she cups one of her pecs, smiling teasingly and licking her teeth as she pulls the lace down, down, down to show her puffy little nipple. the lace snaps back up to cover her again when she pulls her fingers away, and she hands your phone back to you with a hysteric giggle that you somehow know is just for you. she leaves you like nothing happened, flurries her way back to the stage to finish her number like she didn’t knock your jaw straight to the floor.   

changmi’s been on instagram live for the past thirty minutes getting ready for her gig tonight. she’s fun to watch, but you can put her on as background noise too while you’re piddling around the house watering your plants, washing the dishes. she’s sitting at a vanity doing her makeup, looking as goofy as ever with her curly, black hair pinned back from her face. a makeup smudged headband secures it extra tight. she’s shirtless, leaving her broad shoulders and relaxed pecs out for you to ogle like a degenerate freak. she’s already corseted, and the slight pudge of tanned skin above the corset makes your mouth water when she leans towards the camera. 

you can tell by the constant bickering and giggling going on that she’s not alone. miss honey is there with her, the cackle gives it away even before you see her face, sitting beside her at the vanity doing her own makeup. 

changmi goes back and forth between using the vanity mirror and her phone camera to apply her makeup. she really does look silly, but it’s endearing, and the process of changbin transforming into changmi is so exciting to watch. it’s beautiful. they both are. 

she’s trying her best to answer questions and talk to miss honey all while dabbing on her foundation and setting underneath her eyes. 

“‘how long have you been doing drag?’” she reads from the comments. “hmm, since…” it takes her several minutes to answer. she’s so focused on lining her waterline in stark white that she forgets to speak at all. you vaguely remember changbin being unable to multitask back in highschool, and it looks like nothing has changed even years later. miss honey giggles beside her. 

“since when, wifey?” 

“oh! wait- what was the question? sorry, ah… since i was eighteen? but badly. and in secret.” it makes you frown, pausing your tidying of the bathroom sink. you knew changbin at eighteen. there’s nothing you can do about it now; you just hope it wasn’t a lonely secret to keep. “i remember a few weeks after my eighteenth birthday, crystal taught me how to walk in kitten heels in her basement.” she says it with a quiet laugh, like it’s a fond memory. 

“kitten heels! kitten heels?! you needed help in kitten heels?!” miss honey wails. she pops her head in the corner of changmi’s screen and looks just as ridiculous. her lips are the color of her foundation, and her contour isn’t blended. a hello kitty hair band holds her hair from her face. 

“yah! don’t you dare disrespect my kitten heels! it was harder than it looked, okay?! i almost broke my ankles and mama’s.” 

it sends miss honey into a round of hysterics, and changmi starts giggling too. 

miss honey leans closer to changmi’s phone to read through the comments while changmi blends the finishing touches on her eyes. they’re pink and glittery and outlined sharply by thick, dove white, the white outlined and winged in a bubblegum pink liner. 

“oh, here’s a good one! ‘do you sew your own clothes?’” 

changmi nods her head, but it once again takes her a bit to answer. she’s too busy blowing on her lash glue and setting the long lashes in place, two in her crease and one below her waterline. miss honey’s smile grows wider and wider the longer she takes to answer. 

“my wife is being a bully,” changmi mumbles. “yes, i sew my own clothes!” 

“…did you sew that?” 

miss honey’s eyes cut to the side. whatever she’s looking at is out of frame, but you reckon it’s changmi’s outfit for the night. changmi looks up and rubs her lips together slowly and scratches at the back of her head. 

“…um. no…?” 

miss honey cackles so loudly that you have to turn the volume down a little bit. changmi isn’t much better, hollering her complaints through her own infectious laughter. they’re so funny together that you can’t help but laugh with them, just as entertained by them as you would be a reality television show. 

“i’m kidding, i’m just kidding! it’s really cute, you’re going to look great! your big man-shoulders are going to look sexy in that halter top, baby!” 

“man-shoulders?!” changmi hollers. she stands up from her chair so fast that it screeches on the floor. she backs up so that you can see more of her body on the screen, turns until she’s looking over one shoulder demurely and right into the camera. “why, i‘m just a dainty little lady.” 

it doesn’t do much to lessen the breadth of her wide shoulders and she knows it, finally breaking the façade and flexing into the camera. her biceps bulge when she flexes, and she turns around to show off her muscular back too. 

changbin was muscular in high school even though his stature was smaller, more lithe. his muscles were more corded, you could tell when he wore cut off shirts to gym class or helped your math teacher move desks. now though, it’s obvious how much work he’s put into his body. he must be so disciplined in his everyday life, eating well and working out to keep his physique in check. you place your chin in your palm and practically swoon while standing at your sink. 

every time you look at changbin — at changmi — you fall harder. you’d do anything to get to know each other better, positively sure your lives changed after highschool. you’ve both grown and matured. you might not have run in the same crowd back then, but it would still be nice to catch up. maybe you can run in the same crowd now. it’s hard to make friends when you’re an adult, but sometimes putting yourself out there can be worth it. 

“stop making me laugh! it’s making me hungry,” changmi whines. “an uncrustable sounds so good right now…” 

you’re out of your bathroom before you know it, slipping on your ugg slippers and grabbing your keys to run by the nearest store before you have to get ready for tonight. 

changmi’s performance is mesmerizing as always, but you’re learning that that’s typical of her. 

and miss honey was right. she does look great, and her wide shoulders do look sexy in her halter top. it’s something you’ve never seen her in before. the halter top is pink and covered in rhinestones. it’s cropped too, high enough to show off the underside of her padded breasts. beaded stars dangle from the ruffled hem of the top too, reflecting brightly off the lights of the stage and dancing whenever she moves even the slightest bit. her pants are pink too of course, high waisted and spandex, flowing into wide bell bottoms at the ends. changmi’s hips are padded and her pants are cinching her at the waist. she’s so fucking curvy, and her little legs look so cute and tiny in those pants. the only reason they don’t brush the ground when she moves is because of her shoes, a pretty ballet wrap heel that must tie at her knees. 

the wig she’s wearing matches her outfit to a tee. it’s something like a shag mullet, poofy and curly and choppy all around her head and tapering off as it goes down her back. her petal pink hair is speckled with black pieces all over, giving her an edgier look than you’re used to seeing from her. 

she’s so beautiful it hurts. 

changmi’s on stage with miss honey and a few other queens you recognize but don’t remember the names of. she’s answering questions when asked and engaging with the queens and the crowd, but you can tell she’s a little more distracted than usual. 

she’s distracted because she’s looking at you. 

she has been since earlier. since she sat on your lap during her performance and pet your hair gently before she left. you always try to get to the bar early enough to sit in the corner booth as you usually do, and it looks like it’s working to your advantage because her eyes fall to your booth every time she performs. 

changmi is bold. her confidence during all of her gigs gives that away, even with that coy little attitude she portrays so well. but now, when she’s doing nothing but sitting on a stool on stage, she exudes self-assurance. not in a gross way, just in the way she handles herself. she looks into your eyes from across the room without breaking eye contact, smirks in sweet satisfaction whenever you’re the one that has to break it because it’s too much to handle. 

the second time she winks at you has you reaching into your purse for a tissue. it’s making you fucking sweat, her attention is, and you pull out the tissue to dab underneath your eyes, at your burning cheeks. it’s then that you see what else you’ve got in your purse. how could you have forgotten?! your heart pounds a little quicker when you reach into your bag again to pull out the two clear packets of round, soft uncrustables.  

changmi’s still watching you, and you purse your lips to hide your smile when you hear her gasp over the microphone. 

“no you did not!” she hollers. the mic shrills, and miss honey covers her ears with a dramatized wince. “is that what i think it is? oh my god, please come here, come here!” 

oh god, you weren’t expecting to be called up to the stage, but you’re learning that you’d do most anything for changmi, so you get up from your booth and cross the floor, walk your way in front of the standing crowd to park yourself right at the stage. changmi scuttles her way to the edge and drops down to her knees to reach you better. 

“you said you wanted these earlier?” you tell her. she leans down further to hear better just as you stand on your tip-toes. her hair tickles the skin of your bare arms. “i- i didn’t know what kind you like best, so i got both.” 

strawberry and grape. 

two packs, ten — nine now — fluffy sandwiches in each. at least now you’ve got something waiting for you when you get snacky at home. 

“oh my fucking god! you’re so sweet, i could kiss you. i really could! can i give you a kiss?” she laughs, but her eyes are taking in your expression like she means it. 

you throw her words back at her from the first night you met. “does kissing count as ‘putting out’ before the first date?” 

she laughs again, squinting her eyes a little like she doesn’t remember what you’re talking about but still waits for your answer. 

“i’d love to borrow a kiss,” your words are quiet, just for her. changmi smiles softly and leans forward. she doesn’t kiss you on the lips, no. instead, her plump little lips land on the apple of your heated cheek. the roar of the crowd, the hooting and hollering of the queens behind changmi all fades into white noise in your ears. 

you’re so focused on her that you can hear the gentle smack of her lips when she pulls away from you and leans back onto her heels. she’s smiling big, eyes wide with joy as she takes the sandwiches from your hands. 

“i’m gonna tear these up after the gig, you have no idea.” 

you and changmi both jolt when miss honey scoffs dramatically into the mic, crossing her leg over one knee and flipping her sleek ponytail over her shoulder. 

“does marriage mean nothing anymore?! my wife just cheated on me for a fucking uncrustable!” 

it isn’t until you’re home again and getting ready for bed that you notice the pink kiss mark on your cheek. 

you only hesitate a second before bringing your phone up to take a selfie, messing with your hair and angling your phone just right to make sure you can see the stain of changmi’s lips. it’s a cute picture, cute enough to open up a new message on instagram, cute enough to type in kissedbychangmi in the search bar, and cute enough to send it straight to her with no text.  

you haven’t even wiped the kiss off of your face and taken your makeup off by the time a new notification pops up on your locked screen. 

kissedbychangmi sent a photo.

the first thing you do is laugh. you can’t help it, she’s silly. her wig is off, and her dark, pinned-back hair is flattened under a wig cap. she still has her makeup on too, but it looks a little cakey in the orange lighting of the back room of the bar. she looks real, human. her eyes are happy, but you can’t see her smile. all because she holds a half eaten strawberry uncrustable in front of her lips, shaped like a crescent where she’s bitten off more of the middle. 

kissedbychangmi

thank you for the snacks!!

changmi gobbled them all up >< 

god, she’s so fucking cute it’s unreal! is this really the same girl who winked at you all night and asked to give you a kiss in front of a crowd of people? it feels like a fever dream. even more so because you know it’s changbin behind the screen. 

your thumbs are hovering over the keys when she sends another response. 

kissedbychangmi

would you maybe like to go to lunch with me one day next week? 

i really can’t believe we ran into each other this way after all this time! 

i’m a little embarrassed.. you must have been so surprised 

if anyone should be embarrassed it should be you, gawking at and thirsting over her while she’s just doing her job, while she’s just doing something she loves with people she loves. 

you

i’d love to go to lunch w you!! 

i was actually going to ask you soon too lmao it’ll be so nice to catch up 

and do nottt be embarrassed!!! i was surprised, but like a good surprised you know? 

kissedbychangmi

yayyy~

i’m about to drive home.. i can text you when i get settled and we can plan then? 

you

talk to you soon 😝

it’s not awkward at all. 

changbin greets you with a warm smile and an even warmer hug. the weather is nice enough that the two of you decide to sit outside to have your lunch, and he even pulls your chair out for you when you reach the quaint little table in front of the restaurant window. there’s a slight breeze underneath the awning; changbin’s curls flutter lightly against his lensless glasses and your fingers itch to brush them back.  

you’re so used to seeing his features contoured sharply now, his lips overdrawn and his hair long, but today, changbin looks soft. relaxed. there’s not a trace of makeup on his handsome face. 

the food is delicious, but the company you keep is even better. you talk for so long that your waitress has stopped coming back to check on you, settling instead on leaving the bill on the edge of the table and moving on to other patrons around you and inside. it feels like you talk about everything under the sun. you have to start out somewhere - it’s great to see you, what have you been up to since graduation, and do you still talk to so-and-so turns into deeper, more personal topics the longer you sit together. changbin talks with his hands. his pupils shake when he talks about something that means a lot to him. he has so many different types of laughs that you can’t keep count of them all. 

“i came out on accident,” he answers when you ask. “no, really! i wasn’t ready, but i guess i felt like i didn’t have much of a choice? my sister walked in on me trying on one of her skirts after school, and everything just kind of… happened at once.” 

you can’t imagine how that must have felt. the ground falling from underneath his feet, the ice cold dread seeping into his skin and down deep to his bones. he must have been so scared. 

“did she- did she react okay? i mean, you guys were so close, weren’t you?” 

“she was fine!” he nods. “we sat on the edge of her bed and i cried because i didn’t want her to be mad at me. i mean, finding out your brother isn’t straight and wants to wear dresses all in the same day is probably a lot to take in at once.” it makes you snort, and changbin giggles too, but his eyes are misty. “she told me it would never change anything, though. that i’m still her baby brother even if i wear a skirt and kiss boys every now and then. i think that changed my life, you know? she’s really a badass.” 

“her brother’s pretty badass too,” you smile, and changbin makes an airy little noise before leaning back in his chair to blink rapidly at the sky. “i came out to my mom on the way home from school one day because i felt guilty not telling her who i had a crush on. you know what i mean? i tell her everything, so it felt, like… wrong. i told her i had a crush on this girl in one of my classes and then sat in silence just waiting for her to kick me out of the car.” 

changbin nods his head. his brows are furrowed. “did she?” 

“nah, she pretty much told me the same thing. i’m her baby and she loves me no matter what. god, changbin, we got really lucky, didn’t we?” 

it’s something you think about a lot, how different things could have been if your mother wasn’t your mother. if changbin’s sister wasn’t his sister. how different things are in the world for so many people like you. how people have to fight to exist without persecution, how they have to keep silent for their safety and security when all they want is to speak their truth and live honestly. 

“that’s why drag is so special to me,” he confirms. not everyone’s experience with coming out is a positive one. “it’s why drag is so important in general. the world needs queer art. queer joy! if we can help someone live in it just for one night, that means everything to me.” 

changmi is a beacon of light. you think of her bright smile on stage, the way she interacts with the crowd who comes to watch her perform. everyone is there for a common reason, existing in solidarity and community. 

“it helps you too though, doesn’t it?” 

changbin sits back in his chair. you can tell he’s thinking hard by the way his eyes roam around, gathering the words in his head that he wants to say. 

“of course it does, it’s given me so much of myself. changmi, my drag name. do you know what that word means?” you shake your head. you’ve been curious if it had a meaning to it, or if it was just derived from his real name. “it means rose in korean. i feel like… that expresses who i am, in a way. changbin can be soft and sharp. changbin has thorns, but he’s sweet too. the thorns are mostly for show, people just don’t always stay to find out.” 

his cheeks are flushed pink, sweetly shy as he opens himself up to you in a way he never has before. he’s bearing his soul, you can tell, and all you want to do is keep it safe. 

you understand what he means. despite how nice he was to everyone in high school, you heard constant whispers in the hallways. his eyes made him look intimidating, his voice was loud and raspy. now, the muscles on his body leave people assuming he has a certain attitude or mindset. 

but instead, his smile remains warm, his calloused hands only touch things gently. his laugh never fails to make you smile. the drag he wears could give you cavities if you were to sink your teeth into it. 

“i think those people are missing out on something really wonderful.” you reach across the table and tap your fingers softly against his knuckles. changbin turns his hand so that his palm is facing upwards, and his fingers squeeze around yours when you place your hand in his. 

you’re not afraid of changbin’s thorns because you have thorns of your own. a way of protection, a sign of sacrifice, a ferocity within the tenderness of your beating heart. 

you’re more alike than you could have ever imagined. 

“i can’t stop touching them?” you pose it like a question, but there’s no question about it. 

you’re swiveling around in the chair at changbin’s sewing station, surrounded by mannequin torsos and styrofoam heads. he’d invited you over to his place earlier to spend some time together before his gig later on, and you’re watching him brush out a wig now. you’ve seen him get ready before on instagram live, he’s even called you a few times before just to chitchat, but it’s even better when he’s doing it right in front of you, when you can see the entire process and talk to him during it. 

“what, my tits?” changbin laughs, eyes snapping from his wig over to you at his sewing station. he shakes his head fondly when he sees the constant prodding of your fingers against one of his silicone breast forms. 

he has several, of all different shapes and sizes because they all make him feel pretty and because certain ones go better with certain outfits. a full coverage breastplate that he can put on like a shirt, adhesive forms that stick right to his pecs, and even forms with clear straps that he can wear like a bra. they feel different based on the material they’re made of, and you immediately gravitated towards the squishiest pair. 

“they’re so soft,” you marvel. “can you wear these ones tonight?” 

changbin already encouraged you to pick his outfit and wig for tonight, so you’re hoping his tits count too.

he beckons you over with a nod of his head and takes the jiggly forms from your hands. changbin moves to stand in front of his full body mirror and removes the paper from the back of the first form, sticking the adhesive right over one of his pecs. he repeats the same process with the other form; changbin’s eyes are wide in concentration, and his bottom lip sticks out cutely as he focuses on sticking them evenly on his chest. he turns to you when he’s satisfied, smiling goofily when he begins to lift up on the balls of his feet and back down to make the forms bounce. they look real, they really do. they match his skin color almost to a tee. if he were to blend the edges with foundation, you doubt you’d be able to tell the difference at all. you’re standing in front of him before you know it, eyes locked on his chest. the forms are so realistic that they have light blue veins in the mold, a smattering of light freckles. the nipples are the same color as changbin’s real ones, dark brown with a furled little areola. 

“they’re nicer than mine!” you say, pushing your fingers against the fatty sides to see them jiggle again. 

changbin’s brows furrow and he shakes his head firmly. his curls would be bouncing if he didn’t have his hair pinned back. “no they’re not.” 

oh. 

oh. 

“changbin seo.” he blinks wildly. “how would you know? have you been looking at my boobs?” 

it’s cute how quickly his ears color, cute how he starts scrambling over himself while you’re just trying to hold in your laughter. 

“no! no, i mean- i’m just saying. if i were to see them, i’m sure they’d be perfect, because you’re p- ah, please! don’t laugh at me! hey, why are you laughing?!” 

his arms wrap around your waist when you lean into him to stifle your laughter against his neck. changbin is so easy to tease. he’s cute when he whines, when his voice raises in volume to try and get his point across. everything about him is so endearing. 

changbin is warm. he runs hot, but he’s even warmer because you’ve got him blushing petal pink. his skin is so soft underneath your own, plush and honey-toned and decadent, like he’d melt in your mouth like a marshmallow if you were to bite into him. 

“they are pretty nice,” you say. your voice is soft, quiet. changbin leans back a hair and you watch his eyes slip to your lips. “if you wanna see ‘em, all you have to do is ask.” 

you feel him shiver, and that cute downwards smile pops up on his precious face. 

“are you flirting with me?” 

there’s no point in lying. honestly, you thought he knew how gone you were for him by now. you were a ticking time bomb, only able to hide the yearning that must cloud your eyes and hold your tongue so much. it’s hard not to look at him, not to want to bask in his presence, and it only worsens as time goes by. the more time you spend together, the more you want him. the more you hear his voice, the more you want to hear it for the rest of your life. the more he touches you, the more your body, mind, and soul long for it. 

you’ve locked your heart away for so long that it’s dusty. the only way to keep yourself safe is to keep it hidden and sealed tight, but changbin holds the key. you placed the key in his hands the moment you found each other again, even if he doesn’t know it. 

“yes. yes, changbin, i’m flirting with you.” 

he nods then, squeezes your hip gently with a calloused hand. 

“okay,” he whispers. “okay, good.” 

you’re excited to see changmi. you’re always excited to see her, but she’s wearing what you picked out for her this time, so it feels different. you didn’t even bother making your way to your usual booth, walking your way to the stage and standing right off to the side of it because you want to watch her perform up close and personal. 

you’d left changbin’s house with a kiss to his soft cheek, just giving back the one you borrowed from him weeks back. 

he doesn’t know you’ll be matching with him, doesn’t know that you overturned your entire closet when you got home just to find your black leather skirt and the black, plunge neck rose-printed crop top with the hopes that he’d see it and smile. and with the hopes that he’ll think you look hot, because you feel it. you feel good, you feel confident. the compliments you’ve gotten on the floor of the bar have only helped you fly closer to cloud nine, only a hop and a skip away from it now. but there’s only one person who can get you there. 

you enjoy the other queens’ performances, cheering and tipping along with the crowd, but it feels like your heart plummets to your feet when the host finally calls for your best girl. 

the lights strobe, a britney number starts, and you’re almost bouncing on your heels. 

when she comes out on stage, she’s not wearing what you picked out for her. the only thing of yours she’s wearing is the wig, but that’s it. she looks pretty, god, she looks fucking gorgeous, but there’s a hot curl of disappointment in your gut. 

changmi’s wearing a spandex dress, it’s black and long sleeved and the pleated skirt of it hits the meat of her fishnet covered thighs. it looks a little frumpy in some places - like it doesn’t fit her quite right, but you’re too mesmerized by the whipping of her hair and the strong movements of her arms that your thoughts fly out the window soon enough. 

you’re already waving your hands at her, dollar bills held firmly between your fingers. but it isn’t until the chorus that you open your mouth to scream with everyone else. 

changmi’s hands reach behind her to yank at the skirt of the dress, and the dress pops open from the back. you’re completely baffled, though you should know by now that changmi always has a few tricks up her sleeve, a shrill scream pulling from your lungs when she tosses the dress behind her and whips her hair again, beautiful, curvy bodice clothed in the outfit you picked for her. 

her long sleeved shirt is tight, black, and sheer, but it’s blanketed by a dainty, silver harness top. ruby red jewels dangle from the chains like little pomegranate seeds. they call to you, pull you in, urge you to bite. her wig drips red as well. it’s long, black, sleek like water, two curling horns rising from the sides of her head. blood red seeds dangle from the horns like she’s royalty. the jewels dance with her when she moves, and her little black skirt twirls with her too. black fishnet clad legs lead to the most beautiful heels you’ve ever seen. they’re inky as well, with a thick, clear heel. the inside is filled with rose petals, and a bright, red rose sits atop of the vamp. 

changmi’s makeup fits her black and red theme too, lipstick a dark red that ombres into a black overdraw. her waterline shaded in white as always but lined by a bright red. the point of her wing is as dark as night, and it’s paired with the new addition of black and red freckles smattering her cheekbones. 

you’ve never seen her in something dark like this, neither have the other patrons if their reactions are anything to go by. her aesthetic is made of cotton candy pink, but this fits her just as well, just like you knew it would. it’s edgy, it’s full of sharp thorns, and no one is afraid of her here. 

you’re brought back into yourself when changmi drops to her knees and arches her back, palms flat on the wood as she crawls forward to the edge of the stage to take tips. she prowls, a muscled jungle cat, rolls onto her back when she’s done and arches again until she kicks her legs in the air to clack her heels together. you can see the outline of her breast forms, the chocolatey circles of her nipples through the mesh and harness when she switches back to her knees to whip her hair. 

changmi eases back onto her heels and spreads her knees wide. the roar of the crowd only grows louder when she brings a hand down to fan her crotch, a satisfied smirk adorning her face when she finally makes eye contact with you. her skirt’s ridden up so you see the black lace panties she wears underneath her fishnets. it’s smooth, there’s no bulge, soft cock tucked back and completely hidden. you know that most drag queens tuck for their performances and to further the illusion, but the thought of changbin tucking nearly has your brain bluescreening. 

she kicks one leg out and spins on her heel until she’s kneeling in front of you mouthing the lyrics, ducking her head to look you in the eyes. they slip down to your chest, the plunge of your shirt and back up to your face like she just couldn’t help it. 

“oh my fucking god!” you yell, smile overtaking your face until her own is mirroring yours. you know she heard you over the music. “you’re fucking insane, oh my god!” 

you reach out for her with a bill in your hand, but she doesn’t take it. changmi tucks the bill back in your fist and squeezes your hand in hers, instead bringing your knuckles to her mouth for a kiss. 

another kiss from a rose. 

her hair is stuck in her lipstick, strands caught wildly over the horns of her wig and tangled in the jewels, and she’s never been more beautiful. 

“will you come to a brunch gig with me?” changbin asks. his voice is tinny over the crackling speaker of your phone. “saturday at ten thirty. they gave me a plus one! would you want to come? like, as a date… with me? we can do something after too! not just- ahh… not just the brunch.” 

you can tell he’s nervous. the end of his sentence trails off into an embarrassed, airy laugh, and you have to bite your lip to hide your smile.  

“i would love to go on a date with you, changbin. what should i wear?” 

“oh? oh! wow, okay. ah, i’m going winter-y. i’m thinking maybe a coat reveal into a bodysuit… my coat is red, maybe we could match?” 

“oh, yes! i like that! i’m sure i have some red lying around somewhere.” 

you hate talking on the phone. you’d rather text, can’t usually be bothered to pick up the phone unless it’s your mom calling, but changbin is changing your mind. you could listen to him talk for hours, just interjecting with a hum every now and then so he’ll know you’re listening to him. you always hang onto every word changbin says; the gritty timbre of his voice has easily become your favorite sound over the past several months. so you start looking around for what to wear so you have an excuse to stay on the phone with him for longer. changbin, would red tights be cute? oh! i do have a jumpsuit that might work instead. what are you doing right now? how much red are we talking? have you eaten dinner yet? how are you doing your hair? 

are you thinking of me the way i’m thinking of you? do you want me as badly as i want you? 

the rest of the week passes in a blur. it’s the slowest week of your life, all too excited for your date on saturday that the weekdays decide to make you wait on it. 

you do end up going with the red jumpsuit. it’s red and white gingham, and your white, heeled boots click on the hardwood floor of the open restaurant as you wait for changbin to start performing. for changmi to start. 

changbin drove you here. you met up at his house and he walked out of his front door in full drag at nine thirty in the morning, minus the platform boots he held in his hands and a suitcase wheeled behind him. black slides took their place while he drove, and his hive styled hair brushed against the roof of his car. you laughed all the way there, changbin’s suitcase of extra clothes sitting underneath your feet, and your hands entwined over the center console. 

the restaurant is packed. every table in the building is full, and there’s even people standing against the walls. you recognize several people from the bar and chit chat with them for a little while as speakers are set up and food is brought out, but you make your way back to your reserved table to wait. your table is closest to where changmi is waiting too, probably spending the last few minutes before ten thirty stretching and doing a few breathing exercises to calm her jitters. you can see one white platform boot peeking out from around the corner where she stands, and you giggle, taking your phone out and starting a video, zooming in on her tapping foot to send her or post on your instagram later. 

her gig today is a little different than they usually are at her regular bar. you’ve never been to a drag brunch before, but you’re excited. it seems to be a little more laid back during the day. the atmosphere is great, the daiquiri you’re sipping on is great, you know changmi will be great. 

she’s so fucking cute when she walks around the corner after her music starts. she’s met with boisterous cheers and rowdy clapping, and you might just be the loudest one there. 

her red coat reaches to her knees. fur lines the sleeves and the collar of it, and a thick belt keeps it pulled together in the middle. she’s wearing white, lace gloves and a huge pair of white earmuffs to match. you don’t think you’ve ever seen her in a fully blonde wig either, but it goes perfectly with her outfit. it’s platinum blonde and hive shaped, with messy, curly ringlets framing her face to make her look even softer than she already is.  

you’re waiting with bated breath for her reveal, so invested in changmi twinkling her fingers to greet people while she lip syncs and teasingly sitting beside someone in their booth that your food must be going cold in front of you. 

her reveal is just as breathtaking as you knew it would be. the chorus crescendos and changmi twirls in place, taking the coat off as she does. the restaurant erupts into cheers as changmi now stands before them in a corseted bodysuit, something pastel green and bedazzled bright. it has a pretty, heart shaped neckline that dips low to show her cleavage. her thighs are hugged by lacy white garters that are held in place by twin straps. she looks as delicate as ever, as expensive as ever. you had no clue this is what she was wearing under her coat. 

you’re so focused on your girl that it takes a moment to notice the hammering of little footsteps on the hardwood floor, running full speed to the middle of the restaurant where changmi performs the last bit of her first song. it’s a little girl, and she pauses right in front of changmi, looking up at her in wonder. you’re sitting up in your seat when she speaks up. 

“tinker bell…” 

her eyes are wide, her jaw is dropped. she’s cutely snaggle-toothed and wearing a shirt with olaf the snowman on it. out of the corner of your eyes you can see a woman hurry to get up from her table, but it doesn’t take changmi long to react. 

she bends down until she’s resting on one knee and boops the little girl lightly on the nose with one lace covered finger. 

you’ve never seen her falter during a lip sync, even when she’s being prodded and pulled in all different directions at bars that are slam full of people, her mouth never stops moving. but it does this time, pulling into a small smile instead while ariana grande croons in the background. 

“hello,” she greets. “what’s your name?” 

“maggie,” the little girl says, still staring at changmi with sparkle filled eyes. 

“would you like to dance with me, maggie?” 

maggie nods her head excitedly, and changmi looks in the direction where the little girl’s mother sits for her permission. when she’s granted permission with waving hands and a fond grin, changmi lifts her into her arms and props her on her hip. the little girl squeals as she’s twirled around high off the floor and whirled around the room. changmi puts her down eventually to hold her hands so they can really dance together, spinning in happy circles and laughing together. it’s a beautiful sight, like nothing you’ve ever seen before, and you pull out your phone to record it for changbin to see later. it brings a tear to your eye, a smile to your face seeing changmi so happy… seeing changbin so happy. this joy belongs to him.

“mommy, auntie, come dance!” maggie shouts, reaching a little hand towards her family while the other holds firmly to changmi. they smile but shake their heads until her shouting becomes more insistent, both women finally standing from the table and making their way to the middle, awkwardly tapping their feet and moving their arms until maggie starts jumping with joy. 

“come dance!” changmi beckons, looking around to all the patrons in the restaurant. “everyone’s invited to our dance party!” 

before you know it, you can hardly see changmi at all, she’s swallowed by a crowd of people dancing all around her, waving their hands in the air or holding onto each other. an older man tangoes with his wife, two younger women are singing to each other and jumping with their hands entwined, a mother bends down to twirl her son under her arm. you’re still recording when changmi bursts through the crowd and scurries to you. she’s breathing heavily, her blush-covered cheeks are pink with exertion, but she’s smiling as bright as the sun. she holds her hand out to you, and you end the video right there. 

“may i have this dance?” she pants, and you take her hand with a grin of your own. 

she leads you to the middle where you’re welcomed happily, dancing with your favorite person and strangers you’ve never met, strangers you’ll never see again. it’s the most freeing moment of your life, you think, sharing something so special like this with likeminded people and basking in what can only be described as jubilation. 

brunch is over at eleven thirty, and changmi leaves the restaurant with a parting ment of encouragement, thanking everyone for coming out and supporting her and the local restaurant hosting. 

“we’re here,” she says. “we’ve been here, and we will be here. we’re not going anywhere. they can’t take moments like this away from us even if they try.” 

changbin is contemplative when he walks out of the employee bathroom after eating brunch with you. he’s completely out of drag now, suitcase packed to the brim with his wig, coat, bodysuit, and other accessories. he’s so handsome, hair tucked back into a cap and gray sweatshirt tight over his pecs. he cleaned off his makeup as best he could, but there’s still hints of liner in his waterline. he speaks to the owner of the restaurant again before leaving, raving about their food and promising to be back, whether it’s for a gig or just to eat something good. 

his hand is warm when you grab it. changbin shoulders the door open for you even though he’s the one carrying a suitcase, and he opens the passenger side door for you before throwing his suitcase in the backseat and rounding the car himself. he leans his head back against the headrest as he starts the car. his head lolls to the side so he can look at you, and he smiles when he sees you’re already looking at him. 

“let’s just drive,” he suggests. “ride around for a bit, talk. maybe get some milkshakes?” 

you’re sure at this point you’d almost agree to anything he were to suggest. but a drive sounds nice, talking with him sounds even better, and milkshakes are always a plus. 

you stop by the local sonic before changbin really starts driving, strawberry and banana pudding milkshakes sitting in his cup holders. 

changbin is easy to talk to. you’ve known that since high school but truly learned the extent of it when you started getting to know each other all those months ago. he has strong principles, an excellent head on his shoulders and a kind heart to match. you love listening to his voice, but you’re happy just watching him too, just existing in a shared space together. you watch him for so long that your breathing syncs with his, chests rising and falling at the same time. 

“what are you looking at?” changbin chuckles. his lips are downturned in a smile, and his fingers fiddle with yours on the center console. 

“you.” 

that’s it. what else is there to say? the whole world, the keeper of my heart, the song of my soul and love of my life? too soon, too much. even if you know it to be true. you don’t want to scare him away. 

“ah, let me find somewhere to park. i want to look at you too.” 

you giggle then, finally turning away from him but squeezing his thick fingers in yours. he has a while to go, you think, a clear strip of road is all you see ahead. the further you get from the city, the more trees you see, more fields of grass with cows and horses and goats. 

the houses you come across are sparse, but the signs in their yards are not. 

blue and red pickets, flags waving from the rooftops. big white letters promising a greatness that you stopped believing ever existed in the first place. 

you ignore it as best you can, even though the sight of them always makes your lips curl in disgust and anger fester in your gut. changbin does too. he holds your hand softly, but you can see his other hand tighten on the wheel. the last straw for both of you is when you pull up behind a souped up truck at a red light, back window and tailgate plastered in what can only be described as right wing propaganda. 

“what fucking bullshit!” you bite, just as changbin throws his hand in the air. 

it must be the longest running red light in the country. your eyes are forced to roam from sticker to sticker, shaking your head and clenching your jaw at each one. 

whoever’s in the truck doesn’t pay you any mind, leaving you and changbin in the dust the second the light turns green, tail pipe blaring and engine burning oil as they speed away. changbin takes the next turn and pulls you into the parking lot of a movie theater. he parks a ways away from the other cars, still double checking that the doors are locked and the windows are all the way up. 

the silence doesn’t last for long because you break it. you have to talk about it, you have to get it off your chest before bitterness eats you from the inside out. 

“i’m just so fucking angry!” changbin doesn’t startle even though you’re already raising your voice, all he does is unbuckle his seatbelt, shift his seat back, and turn fully to you so he can listen. “i’m just so fucking angry! and tired! it’s your neighbors. it’s people you walk by in the grocery store, people you pass on the streets. it’s your coworkers, friends you thought you knew, your own fucking family. changbin, it’s all around us! at- at work, i have to fucking interact with people without knowing if they think i should have bodily autonomy or not! this is- god, this is so fucked! and how- how can i sit there and enjoy christmas dinner when i know my grandma would hate me if i brought a girl home to meet the rest of the family?! i’m so fucking pissed off, changbin, and i’m so scared.” 

your voice comes out ragged and choked, and changbin reaches for your hand again with both of his. he kisses your knuckles repeatedly, rubs them against his lips and uncurls your fingers to kiss your palm. 

“i’m scared too,” changbin whispers. you trace your fingers against his full cheek while his fingers hold your wrist. “that little girl earlier, maggie. did you see how happy she was?” he smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “no one is born with hate in their heart. it’s learned, it’s taught. whether it’s at school or at home… i- we can’t stop that, and it kills me. i’m so scared that this part of me will be persecuted somehow.” changbin’s voice is wet, his chin quivers. “being gay isn’t a crime! drag isn’t a crime, i can’t- i don’t want them to take her away from me. she- she makes me strong.” 

your heart cracks open right here, in the parking lot of some rundown movie theater in the front seat of changbin’s car. you ache for him, you ache for yourself. for people you know and people you don’t. 

changbin goes to scrub angrily at his eyes, but you beat him to it, brushing his falling tears away with gentle fingers. 

“oh, baby,” you coo. “angel boy, listen to me. she’s strong because you’re strong. you made her, she’s part of you. changmi is strong, but only because changbin makes her that way.” 

he curls pitifully into the center console and you hold him while he cries. his cap falls off his head and straight to the floorboard at your feet. his shoulders shake, his throat rattles with his cries. his fingers are curled tightly in the fabric of your jumpsuit. you rest your head on his trembling shoulders and cry with him, disappointed by something so much bigger than the both of you that you hardly know the words to say. 

changbin tries to sit up when his crying peters out into wet sniffles, but you hold him against you for a little bit longer, just not ready to let him go yet. when you finally let him up, he covers his face with the sleeve of his sweatshirt to hide. 

“can’t i see you? please?” you beg. your nose is stuffy from crying too. 

he drops his arm when you ask, fingers fiddling with the hem of his tear-stained sleeve. you reach forward to smooth out his flat hair, cup his cheeks. his eyelashes have formed into points due to his tears, and his cheeks are pink and wet, hot to the touch. his round little nose is even pinker. 

“i’m ugly when i cry,” he mumbles. 

“you’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever known,” you tell him instead, ducking your head so that you can look him in the eye even when he tries to shy away. he leans into your touch though, noses at your palm wetly and kisses it again. changbin doesn’t say anything to that, almost like he’s taking in the words you said and soaking them in. 

his eyes are so beautiful when they land on yours. they’re red-rimmed and glossy, but they’re still the warmest color you know. hot chocolate on a cold winter night, coffee to pull you out of bed in the morning, the comfort and safety of a childhood teddy bear. changbin’s gaze softens as he takes in your face. it feels like he’s looking right through you, looking past the darkest, thorniest parts of you and still finding beauty where you never could. his hands cup your wrists, thumbs rubbing the skin tenderly. 

your breath catches in your throat when he leans toward you. changbin doesn’t kiss you, but he’s close enough that he could. his round nose nudges against yours instead, nuzzling the tip of it while you both breathe shakily in the silence of his idling car. he’s so close that you can feel his breath fanning warmly against your lips. 

“i just wanted to look at you,” he whispers. his thumbs wrap around yours. he eases your hands from his face but keeps your hands between your bodies, entwines them right between the shared beat of your hearts. “but it’s not enough. i can’t go another day without kissing you.” 

it happens all at once. you both lean forward, two minds and hearts aligned. it’s not a frantic mesh of lips like you’d envisioned before, there’s no fireworks like you hear of in the movies or read in your books. it just feels right, that’s all. it seeps into your bones and coats even the smallest crevices of your soul. 

changbin’s lips are warm. they’re cracked on the bottom but still slick from his tears. he tastes like salt and strawberries and a hint of his makeup remover, and you wouldn’t trade it for the world. it’s the softest kiss you’ve ever had. a light peck, another, another, until he’s breathing you in and moving to cup the nape of your neck. he presses forward harder, kisses you deeper, opens his mouth until your bottom lip is caught between the plumpness of his two. you’re finding that your lips fit together perfectly, moving in time with each other, a beautiful, languid mesh. changbin is the one to angle his head first, open his mouth wider, and a soft noise bubbles from the back of your throat when his tongue laps at your lower lip. you open for him with no hesitation, wanting him to take from you. changbin’s soft mouth is wet and warm and oh, so inviting. it’s small, but there’s so much to learn, so much to taste. your tongues are slick when they curl together, spit taking the place of salt on your lips. 

the air between you is humid. every gasp, every shuddering breath, every heady noise is shared between your lips. your hands are threading through the hair on the back of his head when he pulls away from you with a wet smack. you whine, tugging him back because you’re greedy, because you can’t get enough now that you’ve had him, and he pecks your swollen lips to satisfy the hunger, pecks them again, once more for good measure. 

the sight of him makes your cunt clench and your stomach swoop. changbin’s lips are swollen and pink, so beautifully slick from your shared kisses. his hair is messy on his head and his ears are rosy red. 

he smooths your hair back with the hand that was cupping your nape, presses his thumb to the give of your bottom lip. his eyes droop when you suck it into your mouth. you can’t help it, the greed overtakes every bit of your senses. your eyes flutter as your tongue laps at the pad of his thumb, bobbing your head lightly to entice him even further. you’re reeling; it looks like he wants to eat you alive. changbin slips his thumb further in your mouth before pulling it out and wiping the spit across your swollen lips. 

“not here,” he grits. changbin cups your jaw, makes your swimmy eyes focus on him. “it isn’t supposed to happen like this. not here. will you come home with me?” 

you’d go anywhere in the world with him, so you lean across the console to kiss him again. 

“how is it supposed to happen?” you whisper against his open mouth. you feel his breath, kiss his bottom lip slowly. 

changbin closes his eyes and presses his forehead to yours. 

“in a bed,” he answers right away. “i- i lay you down in bed and kiss you until we’re both breathless. run my hands all over your body. baby… sweetheart, i can’t. if i keep talking i’ll do it right here.” 

you’d let him. let him take your clothes off in the backseat of his sleek, black car and sit you on his cock. you’d bounce in his lap until the windows fogged up, until your sweat stuck you together, until your head bumped the ceiling and he pulled you down to kiss you messy with a hand on the back of your head for safety. you’d let him take you right here, but you want him to get you in bed too. you want to smell his sheets, surround yourself with changbin’s scent and his pillows and the four walls of his room. 

“take me home then.” it’s so hard to pull away from him, but you put your seatbelt back on because you’re good and hold your hand out for changbin to take when he’s done doing the same thing. “show me the rest there.” 

despite your teasing on the way back to his house, changbin drives the speed limit the entire way. the more you play with his fingers, the more he white knuckles the steering wheel with his other hand. 

he kisses the breath from your lungs when he opens your car door, presses you against the black exterior and squeezes your hips before grabbing your hand and pulling you with him to the door. he doesn’t even bother grabbing his suitcase from the backseat, or the empty milkshake cups, all too focused on getting you inside and fulfilling his promise. 

changbin takes the clothes from your body first. he unbuttons the front of your jumpsuit and slips the sleeves from your shoulders, kissing everywhere the fabric previously kept hidden from him.

“can i see them?” he asks. his eyes bore into yours even though you can tell he wants to look south. “you told me once that all i had to do was ask.”

your nipples harden merely at his words, so you nod your head and arch your back towards him in answer. his eyes roam slowly down to your chest, he takes you in with sparkling eyes and a slack mouth before kissing both of your peaked nipples.

you can tell he’s trying not to get ahead of himself now that your breasts are bare before him, but you’re both growing more and more desperate to feel each other’s skin and be close. you arch harder into him when he pushes the jumpsuit past your hips and holds you steady so you can step out of it. your sensitive nipples rub against the soft cotton of his sweatshirt. you want it off, you want him naked and panting and hard. 

he shrugs the sweatshirt from his shoulders when you start tugging on it, clearly just as eager to feel your skin against his. 

the press of your naked chests together snatches the air right from your lungs. he’s so warm, his skin so plush and soft that it makes you whine. you don’t know where to put your hands, whether to grip his broad shoulders or rake your nails down his muscular back. 

only when you’re down to your panties and changbin is left in his boxers does he lay you down amongst his pillows. he does exactly what he told you he would, kissing you so thoroughly that it makes your head spin. he’s halfway on top of you, one strong arm snaked underneath your neck to hold you and elbow propped on the mattress. his free hand roams your body, caresses your hair and your face, easing down to cup your breast and play with a hardening nipple. changbin’s calloused hand feels so good when it lowers to grip your thigh. it’s thrown over his hip, and he splays his hand across the skin to feel as much as he can. 

his tongue is fucking silk, but you knew that already. all you can do is give yourself to him wholly, opening your mouth for him to lick into like he’s starved. changbin makes the most mouth-watering noises when you tug on his hair to pull him closer. you feel cradled, you feel spoiled and cared for with changbin’s hands touching you so sweetly and his mouth molding so perfectly into yours. 

you shiver when his hand snakes from your thigh to between your legs. he doesn’t touch you there, just ghosts his fingers along the elastic of your panties. 

changbin doesn’t bother pulling away from your lips when he opens his mouth, speaking right against your tongue and swollen lips. “can i touch you right here?” 

you shiver again, and the arm trapped underneath your neck pulls you tighter to his warm body. if you were to focus hard enough, you’d be able to feel his heart hammering against his chest. 

“you can touch me anywhere,” you breathe. your legs spread on their own accord, rolling more onto your back and throwing one over his thighs for better access.  

he kisses you again, leans further over your body so that all you feel is his warmth. changbin’s fingers touch you over your panties, and he kisses the whimper from your lips. your eyes are already closed, but they squeeze shut even tighter, your brows furrow. he doesn’t pull away, molds his open lips against yours and licks inside your wanting mouth. his tongue whips messily against yours, the wet noise of it makes your clit throb under his delicate attention. your panties are soaking under his fingers, the slide of the cotton easing the wetter you become. 

your leg twitches when he presses harder on your clit, two thick fingers rubbing earnestly against the little, swollen button. an airy noise creeps from your mouth into his, and he answers you with his own. changbin only pulls away to kiss your cheek, his lips are so wet that you feel spit stick to your skin. he makes his way to your ear to tug the lobe into his warm mouth. 

he listens to you moan freely now, lets you push your thigh down against his for leverage so you can grind up into his dexterous fingers. changbin pants hotly against your cheek, his round nose smushed against your skin. 

“i want to fuck you so badly,” he grits. “i’m so excited to have you that way, sweetheart.” it’s intense, so honest. pulled right from your own thoughts. “i think about it all the time. even- even when i’m on stage, you-” he cuts off his own sentence with a delirious laugh against your cheek. “you make it so hard to stay tucked.” 

you think about it now, changbin backstage before a gig and worked up, having to adjust his tucked cock between his legs all because he had you on his mind. 

that’s when you cry out, arching your back and throwing your head back, reaching your hand frantically for changbin’s. you take his fingers in yours and slip them under the elastic of your panties so he can feel you bare and wet, silky and warm. changbin moans then and goes right back to work, dipping his fingers into the give of your hole to gather more wetness on his fingers to rub your clit with. 

“you have such a wet pussy…” he sighs. a little love struck, he’s moony and dazed over it. 

“y- you made it that way.” you don’t have much room to move your arm since you’re pressed so close to changbin’s thick body, but you reach down to skirt your fingers against the front of his boxers. his cock is hard, and it throbs when you wrap your hand around the girth over his boxers. “fuck, fuck, made me so wet.” 

his thick fingers dip down to your hole again and he pauses, tilting his head to look into your eyes in question. you nod frantically and lift your pelvis to tempt his digits inside so that he can get you ready for him. you won’t need much, your pussy is hungry for him, sucking his fingers right in when he presses inside. he dips in lightly at first, only going deeper when you start whimpering through every shaky breath. he loves the way your hips kick, the way your toes press against his ankle when you lift your hips in search of his touch. changbin lifts up on his elbow to watch your face just as he crooks his fingers. your eyes cross, your mouth drops open, and changbin sees it all. it embarrasses you, you’ve never been watched as intently as you are now; it makes your face heat up and and your eyes fight to close because he’s seeing so much. but most of all, you like it. you want to be watched, want to be seen and enjoyed to the fullest as long as it’s by him. 

you know what he’s reaching for, and he finds it easily. changbin leans in to kiss you gently as your thighs quake and quake, a slow press of lips that you break away from too quickly because you just can’t shut up, you can’t stop whining and moaning and wriggling in his arms because he makes you feel too good. 

your body curls further into him when he makes you cum. his arm wraps around you tighter, moving from your neck down to your back to hold you steady while he pistons his fingers. you’re drooling against his chest, the only reason your legs stay moderately open is because you throw your knee over his hip. his movement is more cramped this way, but he takes it in stride, keeps his palm flat to your clit and massages his fingers on that special spot until you’re squealing and jolting against him. 

changbin keeps his fingers snugly inside until you’re done throbbing around him. he’s gentle when he pulls out, rubs his two sticky fingers lightly over your hole to feel the gape of it, and his cock kicks in your slack grip. you can feel his smile against your temple when he brushes over your sensitive clit, his breathy laugh when your legs clamp shut. 

changbin starts shimmying to help you tug off his boxers. you’d giggle back at him if you weren’t so honed in on getting his cock out. you wrap yourself around him tighter when he kicks his boxers off, wrapping your arms around his neck and your leg higher around his waist so the warmth between your legs can rub against his cock. changbin hisses then, cups your ass in his rough hand and grinds forward. the leaking tip of his cock bumps your sticky clit repeatedly. you’re sensitive, but the good kind of sensitive. if he keeps rubbing you there you’ll cum again. 

“ah, they’re… kissing,” he breathes. his cock does kiss your clit, gets it wetter with his precum and makes you feel like you’re tingling all over. but you want it to kiss you inside instead, want him as deep as he’ll go. 

it almost kills you to roll away from him, but changbin doesn’t let you go far. you roll onto your back and pull him with you. he’s so strong and so densely packed with muscle that the only reason you get him moving is because he follows you without hesitation. 

“inside me. inside me, baby, please, i wanna get fucked,” you beg, and changbin groans, nodding his head. you caress the sides of his face, rub his shoulders, scratch his back. 

changbin reaches for his nightstand but you shake your head. he looks at you with wide open eyes. 

“are you sure? i’m clean, i promise, but are you sure?” 

you want to feel him. you want his cum spilling inside of you where it belongs with no barrier in between. 

“me too. i am too, i trust you. please? do you want it like that too?” 

he holds himself on his elbows above you. one of his thumbs brushes your cheek, caresses your hair. “i want everything you’re willing to give me, sweetheart.” 

it’s like time stands still as you feel changbin’s knuckles bump your belly. he’s reaching for his cock, grips it in a rough fist and jacks it to spread his precum. you’d love to watch, love to see him pleasure himself and make himself cum, but it’ll have to wait until another time. he presses his fat tip against your hole and your legs spread themselves so wide that the inside of your thighs burn. 

“let me in, sweetheart,” changbin breathes. he kisses your forehead, your nose, the pucker of your lips where they wait for him. “just let me in, show me how perfect you are. changbin will take care of the rest.” 

your body listens to him because of course it does. your core relaxes, your weight sags into the mattress so changbin can have you the way he wants to. his forehead presses to yours just as his thick head pops inside. your mouths drop open at the same time, just breathing heavily in each other’s space. changbin’s eyes are hooded, hooded and intense, and yours can barely stay open. 

the first thrust he gives you has your eyes closing on their own. your lashes flutter when she sheaths himself fully inside, so obsessively addicted to the stretch of his thick cock already that your nails claw themselves into his shoulders to pull him even closer. 

“oh, fuck,” he whimpers. you’ve never heard him sound like this. “this perfect pussy…” 

you’ve never had sex like this before. never in your life have you felt so viscerally connected to someone. you’d crawl under his skin if you could, snuggle beneath his organs because you just can’t get close enough no matter how much you pull and tug and arch. changbin’s arm snakes under your neck again, and the other cups your head. your legs are wrapped so tightly around his waist that you don’t know how he has room to thrust at all, but nothing on heaven or earth could pull you away from him. you wrap your own arm around his shoulders, clutch the small of his back with the opposite hand. 

you move with the force of his thrusts, body rocking as he rolls his hips to fuck you as deep as he can. you don’t go far because of the grip you have on each other though. it’s sweltering, you’re nearly sticking together. you’ve never felt better. 

“i feel so good!” you cry. “you- you f- fuck, feel so good in me! it’s never felt like this. baby, baby-baby, nobody’s ever- no one else…” you can’t even string together a full sentence, brain fucked right to sleep. 

“for me either,” he grunts anyway, like he understands you despite it. no one understands you better. “it’s never fucking felt like this. you’re so good for me, so beautiful. i’m the luckiest man alive.” 

changbin’s voice bounces as he fucks you, his hips picking up momentum and force and rutting you into the bed like he can’t help it. a part of you feels like it’s untethering when he pulls away, when he presses his palms to the bed on either side of your shoulders and snaps his hips so good that the sound of it is nearly deafening. you can’t focus on the loss for too long because changbin is too beautiful above you. his eyes are closed, so you get lost in taking him in. changbin’s cheeks are sweetly pink, his ears and neck match. sweat drips from his hairline and rolls down his face until it drips onto your bouncing tits, his plump bottom lip is caught between pearly teeth, his pecs bounce deliciously as his thighs smack against the backs of yours. changbin is the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen, he’s the best you’ve ever had. 

“fuck me, fuck me, fuck me- please don’t ever stop fucking me!” you cry. you hold his hips, nails biting the squishy skin there. “changbin, s-shit, ‘m cumming, b-baby, you’re gonna make me cum.” 

“please,” changbin begs. his eyes snap open just to flutter again when sweat drips into his lashes, but he shakes his head like a dog and doubles down. “please, let me get you there, sweetheart. let me make you cum. god, i love the way you say my name.” 

so you say it again and again and again, and even more after that. his hand dips between your sweaty bodies to rub at your clit. the look of pure concentration on his face nearly makes you cum on its own, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes locked on your pleasure stricken face. his thrusts stay steady and deep, fat cock carving your insides just on the right side of rough. 

your chin quivers and your head thrashes on the pillow. you’re restless with your need to cum, legs squeezing him tight and arms running over every inch of his skin you can reach. 

“i know, i know. i’ve got you. please cum for me, i’m right here.” he’s right here. he’s looking at you like you hung the stars in his sky. “listen to your body and cum, i’m gonna take you there.” 

of course you cum right then. you listen to your body because your body listens to changbin, cumming on his cock when he tells you to. you wail when you do, so loud that you cover the sound of changbin’s near-growl and the wet smack of heated skin. you throb through your orgasm and clutch him tightly, inside and out. 

“you too, please? please, inside me! cum inside me, changbin. changbin, bin. please. fucking- please!” 

he plasters himself to your front and ruts into your pliant body until he’s cumming with a high-pitched, shaky whimper. it’s the sweetest sound you’ve ever heard, already so addicted to the way he sounds, the way he fucks you. now that you’ve had it, you can never go without it, all too spoiled rotten. 

his arms quiver beside your head, and he rolls until you’re both laying on your sides again. you can feel him spilling out of you, oozing messily down your thighs and onto his messy bed. 

“give me a second to get up. i can’t feel my legs,” he says, and you giggle. 

you’re content to lay there for hours and watch each other with drooping, sleepy eyes. 

“oh my god,” you laugh. you poke the scar on his chin when he hums in confusion. “you really kept your word.” 

“i always keep my word. but what? what did i say?” 

you’re honestly surprised you remember it at all, so much of that night is a blur in your head. but you remember so much when it comes to changbin. 

“that night we met again. the first time i saw you performing in the bar, you told me that you wouldn’t put out until after a date. you really meant that shit, huh?” 

changbin giggles out a silly, high-pitched laugh, tucking his face into your heaving breasts and kissing the damp skin there. 

“hi, ladies!” you grin, sticking your head through one of the back rooms to see miss honey and changmi all dolled up. 

miss honey is grabbing changmi by the shoulders to try and keep her calm, but all changmi does is wiggle her shoulders and kick her legs goofily until the other queen gives up. changmi moonwalks in her heels, pops her breastplate until her boobs are jiggling ridiculously. 

“oh thank god! please! please, take my wife off my hands! maybe you can do something with her because i sure can’t!” 

changmi is hyper. she always gets hyper when she’s nervous, and tonight is a big night for the two queens before you. 

a christmas gig, one at a theater in a bigger city a few hours away from yours. it’s the biggest gig changmi has ever done, a venue with a whopping five hundred seats, with concessions and merch stands in the lobby. 

in the year since you’ve been together, changmi has only grown in popularity. she’s not as well-known as the ru girls, or even as some of the girls from bigger cities in the state, but it’s only a matter of time now. she continues walking the golden road to stardom, but she’s taken you with her, strolling hand in hand on your journey there. changbin’s sister is manning changmi’s merch booth, already sold out of the handmade friendship bracelet sets and working on selling out the autographed portrait prints. 

changmi rushes to you when you open the door wider, red pumps scuttling on the floor happily until she reaches you and pulls you into a jittery hug. 

she’s so fucking pretty. 

you picked out the wig she’s wearing, platinum blonde and pulled up in a tall, messy bun. sparkly tinsel holds the bun together, a glittery ornament and a bright red bow are wrapped up in it too. her blonde bangs cover her eyebrows and the corner pieces frame her face nicely. her makeup makes her look like the prettiest strawberry you’ve ever seen, green on her inner corners and lids and white shaded on and under her waterline as usual. her blush is red, and her freckles are as white as snow. her sweet, plump lips are colored ruby too. 

the coat she’ll go on stage in is knee length, red, and pleather, but that’s resting on the back of the vanity chair she’s left behind. you see her reveal outfit now, silk and short and rose red. the sleeves are long and flowy. the collar, sleeve ends, and the hem of her skirt are all ruffled with beautiful red lace. the dress is already lightly cinched in the middle, but she’s wearing her corset underneath anyway. her socks are white and lace, ruffled cutely at the top, and her pumps match the color of her dress. 

“mm, hi pretty girl,” you hum, looking her up and down. “are you my christmas present this year?”

changmi purrs like a cat. she’s about to answer you when miss honey gags from her station, blending the lace-front of her long, black wig. 

“stop distracting me! i’m not done getting ready, please go suck her dick in the bathroom or something,” she whines. 

changmi doesn’t wait another second before she lightly shoulders past you and grabs onto your hand, heels clacking on the creaky wooden floor angrily as she rushes to the nearest bathroom in the hallway. 

she pushes the door open and checks each of the stalls before walking backwards into one with a smirk. it’s not long before the look on your face matches hers, and you lock the stall behind you and drop to your knees. you’re wearing long pants and the floor is clean enough, but your focus hones in on the desperate girl before you. 

“oh, fuck, my-” changmi stomps her foot and her bun swishes against the wall of the stall. “there’s really no attractive way to do this… can you lift my skirt up?” 

you do as she asks, corseted belly and waist coming into view when you lift the skirt up high. changmi tugs her nude nylons down to her thighs, and the little panties she wears get stuck on top of them when she drops them too. 

where her cock would usually stand proud, it’s taped between her legs, leaving her smooth like a barbie. you can see the cut of the tape strip holding her back, and changmi reaches down to pull at the corner of it. her knees widen awkwardly when she reaches between her legs, and she pulls from the back after loosening the front. her cock snaps to attention like a weapon, throbbing and hard. 

“you must have needed me really bad, huh?” you smile, leaving one hand bunching her skirt up and bringing the other down to stroke her fat cock. 

changmi bunches the tape up and throws it haphazardly into the trash can by the toilet before bringing her hands to your hair. she doesn’t tug, doesn’t grip your roots, just cards her thick fingers through it gently. 

“fuck, you have no idea. i’m so worked up, i’m so- i’m so hard, gonna cum so fast. i feel like there are ants in my legs.” 

the first touch of your lips to her leaky tip has her knees wobbling. she tastes good, smells clean, and you breathe in deeply through your nose while you open your mouth to suck her inside. you look up at her through your lashes and see her already looking at you. 

she has to perform soon, so you pull out all the stops. 

changmi’s cock is so fat that she stretches your mouth to its limits, pulling at the thin sides and drying your lips when you suck. she likes when you lap your tongue at the base while you’ve got her down your throat, so you do, nose pressed right under the band of her corset and tongue wagging messily. a light squeeze to her balls has her lifting onto her tiptoes. you follow her, rising on your knees as tall as you can until she slowly lowers herself again. her heavy balls are tender and sensitive, and if you circle your fingers under them and tug them up, the tip of your tongue can brush against them too. 

“there, right there. i’m cumming, holy s-s-shit, eat it up, sweetheart, yeah, just like that…” 

she cums in your mouth, shoots pearly ropes right down your throat and into your belly. you lick your lips and she licks hers in response, pretty eyes drooping when she watches you kiss the tip of her cock again before unrolling the toilet paper and wiping her cock down and helping her pull up her panties and nylons.

changmi’s bambi legs lead you back to her dressing room where miss honey sits on her phone. 

“are you calm now?” she asks. 

“i have to tuck again,” changmi answers. 

miss honey cackles and you wink at her. you unlock your own phone to check the time. 

“hey, i’m gonna go sit baby.” 

changmi stops unrolling her medical tape and scurries over to you once more. “you’re gonna watch me, right?” 

you wouldn’t miss it for the world. she’s a star, the brightest in the galaxy. your very own north star, the one you always look to. she’s all you see anyway. 

“of course, my love.” the corner seat of the first row in the middle section has your name on it. 

“i’ll look for you,” she smiles. 

changmi places a kiss to your cheek before you shut the door, a bright red kiss mark decorates your burning cheek. you wear it proudly, lucky to have her in a way no one else can. 

the skin of your cheek tingles sweetly, like you can still feel her lips pressed there even after you take your seat. 

you’ve been kissed by a rose. 

[streetlvght]

"changbin..?" his name barely escapes your lips in a whimper, both your arms wrapped around his bicep.

"what do you need, baby?" he asks. other than physical touch, changbin is an acts of service man. just call his name and he's yours.

"spider." you move one of your hands to point at the eight-legged creature that's been crawling around your shared room.

changbin exchanges a shared glance of horror with you. his kyrptonite, his achilles heel, his weakness: bugs.

after a long pause, he replies "pack your bags, bunny. we're moving out of here."

disclaimer: you guys did not move out. instead, chan was called and he let the spider out free in the wild.

a/n : fuck spiders i hate bugs so much.

[streetlvght]

wives…

[streetlvght]

© BlingBIN_0811 | do not edit and/or crop logo

[streetlvght]

Soft MinBin hours (95/?)

cr.

[streetlvght]

omg only now I see you accept requests!!!!! Could I possibly ask something about Changbin and doting on him and his tummy? istg I go feral anytime a hint of his belly peaks through the clothes… I want to kiss his tummy and cuddle him with my hands on him after I prepared a delicious dinner for him

(photo credits to @/ultragedits)

˗ˏˋ in a good way s.c. ´ˎ˗

wc: 1,513

tags: changbin, changbin tummy appreciation, fluff, feeding kink, pet names, gn!reader, praise, body worship, teasing, food as a love language

note: sorry this took so long anon!! life has been a whirlwind recently and i had to step back and put my big boy adult pants on. this prompt had me very excited, so i hope you enjoy my writing. this is my second time writing a request for skz <3

summary: changbin sitting shirtless in your apartment is free reign, especially after a good meal.

 both of you were still getting used to living together. the domesticity felt like a warm and safe blanket, giving you the kind of life you’d only dreamed of before meeting changbin. though he was often pulled left and right for schedules and the looming thought of his upcoming tour towered over both your heads—nothing could erase how either of you felt when he came home at night.

you heard the familiar noise of the front door unlocking before you saw him. getting up from the couch, your feet carried you out of the living room and to the hallway. even with his dark curls covering his eyes and his black mask covering the lower half of his face, you’d recognize changbin anywhere.

“welcome home, bunny! how was work?” you asked, though you’d gotten used to hearing the same sort of answer every night. “mmm.. it was alright, but changbinnie missed you!” he spoke cutely while referring to himself, which let you know his day was the least of his worries. large arms wrapped around you, securing you in a hold you’d missed for most of the day. with your head against his chest, you could breathe changbin in and sigh in satisfaction.

he pouted once you let go, but found himself content once he’d clung to you from behind. this way, you could use your hands for whatever you needed, while still providing changbin the contact that he’d been craving from you while he was gone.

with his chin nudging at your shoulder, you walked to the kitchen. as you’d reached the counter, changbin’s hands made contact with your hips. he spun you around so that you’d face him without using any real strength at all. changbin’s face mask had been pulled under his chin, showing you the features that you loved so dearly. he’d even brushed his bangs out of his eyes, allowing you to see him fully.

if actions truly did speak louder than words, his gaze was proof enough that the man loved you wholeheartedly. 

one step was all it took to close the distance between you and your boyfriend. his right hand reached to the side of your face, using his fingers to push back a strand of hair behind your ear. his other hand rested on your hip, holding you steadily. “tell me about your day, baby. did you miss me too?” changbin smiled, before placing a soft kiss on your chin—almost like a way of encouraging the words to fall from your lips.

“it was pretty quiet. rain cancelled our plans, so i stayed at home for most of the day.”

your lack of answering his second question caused changbin to pout. he pressed himself closer to you, nosing at your neck before leaving a gentle kiss on the skin there. you giggled, unable to tease him for too long considering he was so cute. “of course i missed you, bin. you know i always do.”

though he tried to hide his reaction by burying his head into your neck, you could see the tips of his ears turning red. there your boyfriend was, in all of his bashful glory. 

“i’m sure there’s something else you miss, other than me.” you teased once again, though changbin found himself out of the loop. “hm..? what do you mean?” he asked, pulling away from you to stand straighter. suddenly, his eyes lowered on your figure, a half smirk forming on his face.

“..not that, mister. you’re dirty.” changbin whined in protest, pouting even harder than before to the point he emphasized his softer jowls. “tell meeeee!” his volume increased from before, though he wasn’t particularly yelling at you. changbin tended to be loud, and that was that.

“my cooking, silly—i made you dinner! creamy bacon carbonara with pork katsu on the side, you’re going to love it! i think i went to heaven and back after eating it myself.” you giggled. 

though he never explicitly said it, you knew food was one of changbin’s love languages. the noises and expressions he’d make while eating was enough evidence that food was the quickest way to his heart. eating always seemed to bring him happiness, whether it was during the months he’d be dieting for comebacks or bulking during breaks.

as you put on a pair of oven mitts and pulled the dish out of the oven, you remembered how proud of yourself you were when you first sampled the food. cooking for yourself and changbin was a great excuse to improve your skills. you knew that if you’d found it good, your boyfriend would find it even better.

“oh my gosh.. i think my heart just started beating like crazy.” changbin joked, though the statement definitely held some truth to it. he watched over your shoulder as you reheated and plated the food for him, his hands gently rubbing your sides. a dangerous shiver went down your spine, but that was for later.

“here, why don’t i set the living room up for a movie while you go change into your pajamas?” you offered, turning your head to look at changbin. he frantically nodded, more motivated to quickly change by the prospect of dinner, a movie, and you waiting for him.

when he returned, changbin looked more comfortable. his pajamas always consisted of shorts, so the sight of his thicker thighs wasn’t new (but highly appreciated). however, the shirt he’d been wearing seemed to fit him deliciously (also highly appreciated). it must’ve been an older one, considering the way it clung to his larger chest and left little to imagine around the curve of his belly. 

god, your boyfriend’s body drives you crazy.

“every time i see you, i just remember how lucky i am.” you mumbled, not really expecting changbin to respond since you’d sounded so cheesy. thankfully, cheesy didn’t exist when it came to you. had you been one of the members though, he surely would have cringed. 

instead, changbin found himself gently swatting at you. “this food already has my heart beating out of my chest, don’t make it worse!” he chided playfully, though the blush creeping onto his cheeks told a different story.

once he sat beside you, changbin immediately pressed a kiss to your cheek, then your lips. “thank you, baby. it smells delicious!”

and with that, changbin ate.

he shoveled bite after bite of pasta past his lips, along with the crispy pieces of pork katsu. you cooed every now and then as he worked through his plate, subconsciously finding yourself praising him for eating so well. a healthy appetite had never made you this happy—at least, not until you’d fallen in love with changbin.

the movie you’d put on didn’t hold either of your attention. while changbin was focused on the flavors of each bite, you were content with watching him eat. his cheeks were fuller, and there was a shine to his lips from the amount of times he’d bitten them while eating. you found the habit cute, and you knew if you’d pointed it out, he’d grow flustered.

“someone’s eating well.” you teased, as one of your hands moved to rest on the curve of his belly. rubbing gently through the fabric, you could tell he was getting full. the flesh of his stomach was usually soft and pliant under your touch, but neither could be said for the firm mound underneath your fingertips. changbin dreamily sighed at your touch, before setting his fork down and leaning back against the couch cushions.

“oh.. i definitely ate too much.”

you quirked an eyebrow, having taken changbin’s statement as an invitation. your hand snuck under his shirt gently as you moved closer to him, continuing your ministrations without the fabric between you and his skin. every time your fingers made contact with his skin, changbin had goosebumps and butterflies. your hands knew his body no more or less than your own.

your fingertips danced across his skin like feathers, causing changbin to giggle. however, just as you’d begun to pull back, changbin had reached behind his head to pull off his shirt. once it’’d been removed, you were left dumbfounded. you would never get used to how good he looked or the fact that he was all yours. when you looked up from his torso and caught his gaze, two hopeful eyes stared back at you expectantly.

“can.. can you keep going? don’t want you to stop..” changbin shyly admitted, turning his head away from you to hide his burning cheeks. you cooed, finding his demeanor cute. 

underneath his rapper persona and his confident personality, changbin was more soft and gentle than expected. the members knew it of course, but especially you.

“of course, bunny. anything for you.” you purred, nuzzling your head against the side of his larger shoulder. changbin softly sighed again, relaxing against you just the same. the movie had finished by now, and neither of you could explain what happened no matter how hard you tried.

changbin sitting shirtless in your apartment was free reign, especially after a good meal.

[streetlvght]

sneak peak to the brainworms because things are constantly happening and some binnie smut is very necessary to heal the soul

nsfw under the cut! | MDNI

oh dear we ARE in trouble…

[streetlvght]

stay safe today. your wellbeing matters. you matter.

[streetlvght]

©

[streetlvght]

fanfiction isn’t enough, I need to chew on him

[streetlvght]

the kiss ; skz ; lee know x reader

pairing: lee know/reader content info: friends to lovers, established friends w benefits but they are in love, your honour. reader is a gnc woman. top!reader, bottom!minho, some light dom!reader, sub!minho. mahandling, teasing, handjobs, rimming, spitting, strap-ons, mentions of past pegging, mentions of spanking/belting, lots of smooching word count: 3000 words.

this was originally going to be a multi-part story but i changed my mind thus this went to die in my graveyard of scraps. however i love this couple and i liked this scene and it seemed a shame to not post it at all haha. hopefully others will enjoy it too :)

<3

-

Raising your kid brother means you will forever occupy the nebulous, fucked up space of Not-Your-Parent, Still-Your-Mom, even when said kid brother has long stopped being a kid.  Jeongin will always be your first priority. 

Minho knows it too.  He has been your best friend for several years now.  He knows you.  He knows you will always stop what you’re doing if Jeongin needs you. 

Even at the tragic expense of an orgasm. 

It’s two o-clock in the morning, an hour after you got off work bartending.  Minho has to be up for his office job in four hours so he was grumbly when your horny ass woke him up with a bulge pic.  You like to consider yourself above obnoxious hormone-driven decisions, but that’s before the strap-on straps on.  Several inches of silicone later and you’re taking (tasteful) fake-dick dick pics in the bar bathroom. 

Minho answers the door shirtless, his grey sweatpants betraying his already chubbed up semi, and with an extraordinarily icy glare that not even his sleep-mussed blonde hair can diminish.  He snarks at you until you curl your fingers into his dark roots and yank. 

It takes only minutes to manhandle him back into his bed, moments to get his sweatpants off, and seconds to have your fingers around his throat and his dick gliding through your spit-wet fist. 

You end up horizontal across the middle of his big bed.  You’re still in a t-shirt and jeans, your boots and leather jacket somewhere on the floor.  Minho is naked and covered in little love bites, his body a fading canvas of your previous times together.  The sight never fails to make you ache, your fingers tracing the evidence of your own hungry desires. 

You kneel between his open legs and he impatiently pries open your belt.  His mouth ticks up in an amused grin as you let him whip the belt out of its loops.  He tosses it behind him, his smile a smidgeon cocky even while on his back. 

You would never call him cute, because he’d probably slap and correct you (he’s handsome, thank you very much), but he is.  Cute.  Sweet.  The way he cocks his head, the way he gazes up at you.  There’s an erratic heartbeat in both your cunt and actual heart, the latter more pronounced than usual.   Your eyes have already adjusted but the blue darkness of his bedroom seems fuzzier, everything around him disappearing in a blurry smog of relative insignificance.   

“You’re staring,” he says, his fingers crawling under your shirt.  His knuckles brush your nipple through your sports bra.  He pulls a face when he pinches it meanly. 

You grab both his wrists and yank his hand out of your shirt.  He does not look remotely chagrined, instead he is beaming with satisfaction, like he was the one who planned your reaction.  

You pin his hands above his head then lean over him.  His playful arrogance fades, his gaze jumping to your mouth then back to your eyes.  It brings your attention to his mouth, pink and wet, his bottom lip plump and bitten from his own teeth running over it. 

You have kissed him before.  It isn’t a habit but also isn’t strange.  You were the first to ever initiate a kiss.  It was the third time you slept together and the first time you properly came from fucking someone.  The base of a toy in a strap-on can sometimes provide some stimulation against your clit, depending on a few factors, but you usually have to be pretty worked up to even get close. 

He got you more than close, taking you right over the edge.  You all but fell onto him with the desperation of your kiss.  His ankles were hooked behind your back, his face warm where your thumb stroked his skin, where you raked fingers into his sweaty hair as you sunk deep inside him with dick and tongue at once. 

You usually kiss like that: in the throes of something especially electrifying.  You think this might be the first time you kiss him so simply, just like this, with clarity and consciousness, spurred by affection more than thoughtless passion.  A deliberate kiss, as you lean down and do just that, his lips warm and open against yours. 

His eyes close, his brow furrows.  

The thing about Minho that turns you on the most is how he… well, how he Minhos.  His smirking, his snarking, his fake impatience, how much he dishes out.  He’s your friend, someone you’ve sat beside on weekend camping trips, resting in comfortable silence around a fire while Jeongin and his friends cause a ruckus somewhere down on a beach.  Minho will sit on your couch with his feet in your lap, his hat backwards, wearing glasses so he can read the nutritional content on a snack bag while you carelessly scarf down its contents.  He’ll tease you kindly, let you playfully knock your knuckles under his chin.  He’ll cook you meals when you haven’t eaten all day, too busy with everything to take care of yourself, but he’ll wave away any expression of gratitude after the fact.  He’s good, utterly, but he likes to be trouble too. 

And that’s what really gets you going, something you admit can’t be replicated with any other lover.  Because they aren’t Minho.  And that’s the best part. 

Like this.  Playful and catty and mad you woke him when he has work tomorrow, but turning soft and pliant under your body.  His brow is drawn tight as you kiss him, like he can’t comprehend the sheer pleasure of it.  He breathes in through the kiss, a trembling breath that flutters on your lips, then he cranes his neck to kiss you again. 

You press his head into the bed.  Somewhere in the simmering warmth of your kiss, your hands shift so your fingers lace and push against the bed.  He makes a keening sound, his back arching, kiss breaking with a deep breath as his hips and cock and thighs make contact with your jeans.  

He turns his face to the side and closes his eyes.  His chest moves with the quickness of his breathing, somehow looking like you’ve fucked for him hours when all you’ve really done is kiss him. 

His fingers tighten around yours when you kiss his exposed cheek, down his jaw, down his neck.  He rips his hands out from under yours only to throw them around your shoulders.  His fingers dive into your hair, rough and demanding when he pulls your head back to his.  His mouth opens for a kiss, his tongue slashing against yours when you give it to him.  You kiss him hard, kiss him until his fingers go weak and his arms are shaky, clinging to your neck like a lifeline. 

“That’s it, baby. So good,” you say, a slur of words without thinking too hard.  You blink with some amazement at the noise he makes, the way his whole body rears up against yours.  You cradle his hips and lick his red over-kissed mouth.   

Then your phone buzzes.  He hears it first, or at least registers the reality of it first, head whipping to his bedside table where you left it.  He is already glaring when you lift your face.  Your head is spinning, your mouth as raw as his.   

He digs his fingernails into your back through your t-shirt.  He has also painted something of a mosaic there, faded thin lines from overeager fingers scratching when you fuck him.  You obviously cannot directly feel when you are inside him, but he makes sure you feel it other ways.  Sometimes you feel it for days.  

He’s still glaring.  God, that expression really does get you so hot.  You are literally throbbing under the silicone in your jeans. 

“You’re going to check that, aren’t you, asshole,” he says with more resignation than genuine malice. 

“I should,” you say.  “Just in case it’s—”

He makes a noise that starts as a sigh and turns to a scream.  You rub your ear after. 

“Your dick isn’t even real,” he says, throwing an arm over his eyes, “and you still manage to disappoint me.”

You laugh, so fond of him.  Your pounding heart is not slowing down.   It’s hard to look away from him, though you manage it long enough to see your phone light up with a text alert. 

He grabs your chin, turning your face back to his. 

“Make me come first, or I’m biting it,” he says.

“B-biting what?”

“Your dick.  I’ll chew the head off.”

“Please don’t gnaw on my dick.  It was expensive.”

“Orgasm. Now.”

He throws his arms out to the sides, eyebrows lifted in an expression of pointed expectation. 

His position briefly reminds you of the first time you ever did this, years ago.  You never complained about the obligations that came with raising Jeongin, but it wasn’t exactly easy.  Between leaving school to work and shirking your social life, you made more than a few sacrifices. You off handedly expressed the vaguest desire for something more substantial than one night stands but not as serious as a relationship, given your responsibilities, and Minho replied by throwing his arms up and giving you that exact same look. 

Well? his challenging eyes have always said.  You have never backed down from a challenge. 

You run your hands down his sides.  His arms jerk because it tickles, but you hold him down to lick and bite from hip to pit to shoulder.  He wriggles under you, his breath getting shallower.  His dick twitches when your hand curls tightly around it. 

You know how to make him come quickly.  You know his body like a well-loved song, every peak and crescent long since memorized. 

You manhandle him onto his front.  He gives in when you push down his head and shoulders, lets his knees push his backside up, up, up.  His toes curl and uncurl, his voice breaking into choppy little mewls that make you throb.   You spit on his hole and your mouth chases it, tongue doing what your dick would have done.   Your other hand is under him, stroking in steady tandem.  

You don’t rush.  It won’t take long anyway because he isn’t trying to hold back. 

That makes you wonder, for a moment.  If he even could hold his orgasm.  Your sex doesn’t exactly resemble conventional intercourse between a man and a woman so it’s not usually too important if he stays very hard or not, greedy with his orgasms and never restraining long.  Denial isn’t something you’ve ever played with.   Prolonged orgasm control is something of a commitment in its own right.   Years ago, when you started this, you were avoiding those commitments.  

Now…  Well, Jeongin is older, living in a university dorm.  You live in a flat on your own.   You aren’t seeing anyone else and haven’t so much as hooked up with a stranger in months.  You know Minho hasn’t slept with anyone else in more than a year.  

You think about how he kissed you back.  You think of his backwards hats, his laughter, his sighing as he wraps himself around you.   

You imagine slowing your touch, telling him to hold it.  Don’t come.  Because I’m going to fuck you tomorrow, because you’re mine, and I want you ready for it. 

Your mouth gets him wet enough that spit runs down his skin.  You circle your thumb around his rim, press in, and murmur, “Wish I could come inside you.” 

He comes like that, shoving his face into the bedcovers to stifle his strangled yell.  Minho is always loud when he finishes, maybe something to do with being an only child and latchkey kid to boot.  He has lived alone for most of his life so he has never had a reason to be quiet.  As someone who comes silently, you like it, that unabashed eruption of pleasure that he can’t really hide. 

You nip the curve of his ass and narrowly dodge the backward swipe of his hand.  He keeps his face buried in the blanket, grumbling nonsense as he finally lowers his hips.  You straddle his ass and smooth your hands up his spine, watching him shudder under your touch.  You run your hands up and up, over his shoulders to cup his face and lift it out of the blankets.

“Up more,” you say. 

He’s always at his nicest and most obedient right after coming.  With only a little huff, he pushes his torso up and tips his head back.  His eyes flick up to where you lean over him.  The bulge of your packed toy is sitting on his ass. 

“Open,” you say. 

He opens his mouth, still gazing up and back at you.  Those dark eyes make all the blood in your heart rush lower, thumping frantically.  His head falls all the way back when your hands circle his throat to hold him there.  He only closes his eyes when you spit in his mouth, lips closing around it as he moans like you just gave him the sweetest gift in the world. 

“Good,” you say, kissing the top of his head.   

He groans and flops back down, then brings his arms forward to fold and cushion them under his head.  He lifts his hips to grind his ass against your bulge, probably smirking into his elbow. 

“Better check your phone,” he says.  He yelps when you slap his ass.  

“You’re lucky you tossed that belt away, smartass,” you say.   

That degree of playing is also not something you have ever done, though you’ve skirted the idea once or twice.  Your red handprint on his ass attests to it. 

“Promises, promises,” he mutters. 

You are tempted to give him another smack for good measure, but it will only work you up more.  Instead you muster the resolve to pull away.  His discarded sweatpants are the closest fabric so you wipe your hands on it.  It earns your own backside a smack as you crawl to his bedside table. 

“Hey,” you say, menacing but humorously so. 

He knows you have no intention of following through with any threats, so he clamps both hands on your ass and squeezes.  He cackles evilly before rolling out of arm’s reach.  

Shaking your head and smiling, you check your phone.  It is Jeongin.  You can’t help but facepalm when you read his message. 

Hi it’s Jeongin from family.  Your brother Jeongin.  Hello. We went to a Party far away and Uber dropped us off but now they don’t have anyone to pick us up!! :(  Please rescue us.  There are woods and trees and maybe bears.  and we are drunk.  Nothing Illegal

Ah, fuck.  Nothing says illegal substance like swearing the opposite unprompted.  You would know; before your parents died, you were indubitably on track to being the problem child.  Your first year of university was a mess you intended to straighten out later, but later never came.   Your parents died, Jeongin was still a minor, and you made a series of hard choices overnight.    

After all these years, you’re still not sure if your wayward experiences made you a better pseudo-parent or a worse one.  Maybe ignorance would have made you less panicky all the time.  Maybe it would have made you worse. 

Minho ducks into the bathroom while you text with Jeongin.  You are lacing up your boots when Minho returns with your toothbrush, one he keeps for your overnight visits.  Looking at his thighs in his boxers, the hickey poking out just under the hem, makes you wish tonight was one of those nights.  Tragically, the only one being deprived of an orgasm is you. 

You scrub the brush around your mouth, just enough, then swallow.  He leaves again, your eyes on every step of his retreat. 

“You’re staring again,” he says from the bathroom. 

“Duh,” you say.  You go back to tying your boots but your mind is elsewhere.   You are thinking about Jeongin and his friends, of course, but you are also thinking about Minho.  A lot about Minho.  Mostly about Minho.  Arousal is still coursing through your veins, never mind all the emotions you kept so carefully tucked away for so long. 

Suddenly, it’s all you can think about.  He’s all you can think about. 

Minho kneels behind you on the bed, wrapping his arms around your shoulders.  He kisses behind your ear, then your neck, your clothed shoulder.   Your fingers dance anxiously over your knees. 

“Don’t tempt me,” you say. 

It isn’t a joke but he laughs, mistaking it for one.  “Sure,” he says.  “You just can’t take your own teasing.” 

“Minho.”  

“Tyrant.”

You turn, grasping his chin so quickly he gasps.  You guide his face to yours and kiss him. 

This kiss is slower, bold and open-mouthed.  Hot.  His moan is a light sound at the back of his throat and it zaps through you like an electric bolt.  He drags his nails down the middle of your back, making every hair stand on end.  When the kiss eventually comes apart, he presses his forehead to yours. 

You are both breathing hard. 

“I’m not working tomorrow night,” you say, your voice a low rumble.  You swipe your thumb over his bottom lip.  “Can I come over?”

He nods.  Minho can be loud to say the least, but sometimes his voice gets so delicate that it turns your brain to mush.  He talks like that now, all soft and sweet, so close to your mouth.  “You promised to fuck me tonight,” he says. “I’ll be thinking about it all day now.”

“Me too,” you say.

“Mm.”  He flops over and rolls so his back is to you.  “That’s too bad for you.”  He accompanies this comment with a wiggle of his hips. 

You can’t help but smile at him. 

“See you then, brat,” you say. 

“You’ll see me in your dreams,” he says, accompanying it with a dramatic yawn.  “And when you masturbate tonight.  Good night!”      

[streetlvght]

[streetlvght]

changbin walking out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped low around his thickened waist, budding love handles and his soft belly exposed. his strong and dimpled back still scattered with a few water droplets, arms bulging as he crosses them over his larger chest. send tweet.

[streetlvght]

READ PART 1 FIRST!

turn to your left

“oh, there’s no fucking way,” you say, shaking your head in disbelief. 

the path to your left is eerie, foggy. the trees are mossy and sparse with branches. it sends a chill up your spine, so why in the world are your feet starting to carry you that way? 

the further you walk down the path, the warmer it becomes. oddly enough, it’s not as scary as you thought, almost as if the fog and sinister looking trees at the mouth of the path were there to dissuade you from going any farther. you’re glad that didn’t stop you; this side of the forest is teeming with life. you’ve narrowly avoided stepping on a frog or two, you’ve seen deer, and despite the blanket of night around you, you can see plenty of bright colored flowers. to your own surprise, you’ve even passed a couple of… chickens? 

the clearing at the end of the path is just as nice. there’s a quaint little log cabin and a nicely lit fire pit to the side of it, but no one is there? as you walk closer to the fire, you can see a pack of chocolate that looks like it’s been clawed open, and a spit-sticky clump of half chewed marshmallows. 

how’s that even possible? it’s almost as if someone ripped open the bag and poured all of those little white pillows into their mouth at once before deciding to spit them out. you make a face at that. 

“I Did Not Like Them.” 

that startles a scream out of you, and you whirl around to face the voice that greeted you. 

this is surely where you’re going to die. all at once, the other two paths cross your mind. of course you chose the one that’s going to end up fucking killing you. 

your breath catches in your throat when you’re met with the face of what can only be a monster that’s twice your size. it’s- he’s? tar black and sleek, with bubblegum pink veins covering his body and the most muscular build you’ve ever seen. the sharpest teeth you’ve ever seen too. 

“You Are A Long Way From Home. You Should Not Be Out Here This Late At Night.” 

“u-um, yeah. yeah! i- i totally agree with that actually. um! w-who? what…?” your eloquence is completely lost in the presence of the being in front of you. 

“I Am Changbin, And You Are Cold! Your Body Is Shivering. You Must Come Inside.” 

you’re not cold. you’re standing beside a fire. if anything, you’re quaking in fright. before you can protest, you’re being picked up in strong arms and carried to the door of the cabin. changbin is carrying you like a damsel, and there’s nothing you can do other than hold onto his massive shoulders. you were expecting him to feel slimy, but the texture of his skin is almost rubbery, silken. 

he doesn’t bother twisting the doorknob, instead settling on head butting the door in and promptly placing you on the rug inside. changbin’s big hand fiddles with the now wonky doorknob and cracked plating where the lock once fit. the knob sags pitifully, but changbin somehow manages to close the door. 

“Drat. You Must Not Tell Chan. He Does Not Like When I Do That. Please Wipe Your Feet.” changbin turns to the wooden cabinet in the entryway and very carefully opens a drawer and pulls out a new doorknob. 

“w-who is chan?” you ask, wiping your boots on the mat under you. do you even want to know?

the skin on the left side of changbin’s face peels back and away, and you’re met with the face of a man. a human like you, tucked away in the big body of whatever changbin is. his eyes are closed. he looks to be sleeping peacefully, but his mouth still moves when you hear their combined voices say, “We Are Chan.” 

“b-but your name? you said your name is changbin?”

changbin’s skin once again re-covers chan’s face, and now you’re alone with him again. 

“I Am Changbin. We Are Changbin. Chan Is Chan. We Are Chan.” 

“like exo!” you snap. “we are one!” 

“Yes, That Is Right! That Is What I Said! I Know Them. Like Exo… You Are Funny.” 

a smirk tugs at the corner of your lips. five minutes ago you thought changbin was going to eat you, now you’re in his house talking about a kpop boy group. you still don’t really know how to navigate what’s going on right now, but you do know enough to know that changbin will not hurt you. you can feel it. 

“s-so! um. is there- is there anyone else out here?” you ask. changbin is making his way to the kitchen now, and you follow. he reaches the kitchen table and pulls a chair out for you, and you sit. changbin follows and daintily sits in the chair beside you, his knees are tucked to the side because they can’t fit under the table. 

“Yes. If You Did Not Come This Way You Would Have Met Two Others. Pretty Fairy And The Blue Idiot. We Have Tried To Eat That One. Mm. Not Enough Brains.” 

“brains? you eat brains? do i- uh. do i need to be worried?” damn. maybe you spoke too soon. that’s really a shame, you were getting along so well. 

“No. We Will Never Hurt You. You Are Safe Here. You Have Found Us, Like Chan And I Found Each Other. You Are Ours Now.” well that’s just a little presumptuous! you can’t lie though, chan was handsome the few seconds you saw his face. changbin is handsome too, despite the whole alien-monster thing he’s got going on. being theirs doesn’t actually sound half bad if you think about it. if you’re theirs now, there has to be some way to commemorate that, right? 

“that sounds really special, changbin.” 

“It Is Very Special. We Look After Each Other. I Am Taking Care Of Chan Now, See?” his skin peels back again so you can see the sleeping face of chan. “Even If He Says I Do Not. I Am Taking Care Of Him At This Moment. He Does Not Sleep, So I Am Making Him Sleep.”

“is it always like that? do you- is he inside you like that all the time? he’s okay, right?” 

“Ha! He Is Fine, Just A Big Man-Baby. It Is Usually The Other Way Around. I Am Inside Of Him. A Parasite, He Says. That Is Mean, Chan Is A Dick. He Was A Loser Before I Found Him. Now We Are A Team, Like DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince.” changbin nods resolutely and fiddles with his fingers. 

“it sounds like you’re taking really good care of him, changbin. you’re really sweet.” the pink veins on his oil-black body seem to pulse at your statement. 

“Oh. Well, Yes. Yes, I Guess I Am! Sweet. That Is Nice.” he’s looking down at the floor like he’s embarrassed, shy to have you calling him sweet. 

“who takes care of you, changbin. changbinnie? you work so hard to take care of chan, someone has to take care of you too.” your chair grates against the wood flooring when you stand up, and you slowly move to climb onto his lap. he’s big. he’s so big you don’t know what to do with yourself, and the coolness of his body makes goosebumps raise on your thighs. “i can take care of you, binnie. if you’ll let me.” 

“I Will Let You Do Anything.” 

your lips press to his cheek, and his chest rumbles. it almost sounds like he’s purring. you have half a mind to think you should be scared with changbin’s big, sharp teeth this close to your face, but you’re not. you look up into his eyes and then back down to his mouth, gently tapping your thumb on a tooth. he growls playfully and snaps his teeth at you, making you laugh and lean back in his lap. his big arms wrap around you to steady you, and suddenly you’re not laughing anymore. 

you kiss his cheek again and tap on his chin this time. there’s a scar there, small and precise, like the bottom half of a smiley face. you press down on his chin, and his tongue slithers out of his mouth for the first time. you gasp when you see it in all its glory, at least the length of your forearm. you don’t even think before your own tongue is lolling out of your mouth to lick up the length of it. you whimper at the taste and feel of him, slimy and sweet, faintly tasting of his snack from earlier. chocolate and marshmallows, sweet like changbin. 

you take it slow at first, licking up and down the length of his tongue until you get to the point at the end, until finally sucking the appendage into your mouth. it tastes so good, and it’s so strong. changbin takes it all in stride. he lets you suck on his long, thick tongue at your own pace before he begins to fuck it in and out of your mouth. that makes you moan, and you’re quick to bob your head to meet his thrusts so you can take him as deep as you can. 

his tongue hits the back of your throat and makes you gag, and changbin hurriedly slips his tongue from your mouth to make sure you’re okay. 

“it’s- oh god, i’m okay! it’s so good, changbin, i liked that s-so much.” that’s an understatement if you’ve ever heard one. you didn’t even realize you were grinding on his thick, hard thigh because you were so focused on throat-fucking his tongue. cumming that way would be quick and easy, but you’d rather cum with him inside you. 

“changbin- binnie, take me to bed? take me to your bedroom?” 

“I Will Take You Anywhere You Want To Go, Earth Angel.” 

you’re barely thinking coherently when changbin lifts you up in his strong arms to do exactly what you asked him to, but you do manage one last logical thought. 

“w-what about chan? he’s- he’s asleep! i don’t- um,” you don’t want to fuck changbin while his host-human sleeps inside him, is what you’re trying to say. you haven’t met chan yet, and you feel like that might be a bit of a breach of privacy, even if he’s asleep. 

“Here.” changbin sets you down before seating himself on the small couch in the living room. he makes himself small, curling up in the fetal position, and suddenly his rubbery flesh is seeping away and turning flesh toned, his body shrinking. you blink your eyes, and chan is the one curled into a ball on the couch. 

changbin is nowhere to be found. 

“changbin?” you whirl around, trying to find where he could have gone. he can’t just disappear in front of your eyes, can he?

Hello, My Love. 

you almost scream, but the sound dies in your throat before you can. you still don’t see changbin anywhere, but you can hear him plain as day. 

“where? where did you go, binnie?”

that’s when you feel it. it starts as a tickle in your shoulder, and you look down to see black tendrils cascading down your arms. one forms the shape of a heart on your skin before continuing down to cover your arms completely. 

Do Not Be Afraid. It Is Just Me; You Are My Home For Now. 

changbin is inside of you? 

Yes. Your Mind Is Beautiful. I Like It Here. 

your arms move on their own accord, grabbing the blanket on the back of the couch and covering chan with it, tucking him in like a child. changbin’s voice hums in your head once you’re done. 

I Will Take Us To Bed Now. 

and he does. more of changbin’s black tendrils sprout to cover the rest of your body, and suddenly the tables are turned. you’re inside of him. you understand how chan could fall asleep like this, it’s peaceful and dark, safe. you have no control of your body with changbin in charge of it, but you can see what’s going on as if you’re looking through someone else’s eyes. you reckon you are. 

you make it to the bedroom door, and changbin makes a point to gently turn the doorknob rather than slamming it open. it’s a simple room, not too messy but not exactly clean either. the bed is unmade and there are clothes on the floor. 

you shudder when the black tendrils seep and fade back into your body, so it’s you standing in your body in the middle of the bedroom.  

We Were Not Expecting Company. I Am Embarrassed. There Was… A Bug! Yes. A Huge, Very Big Bug. So Big. It Had Wings-!

“changbin, it’s okay!” you laugh, and two stretchy arms sprout out of your shoulders to grab the clothes and put them in the hamper. “what about the bed?” 

another tendril slithers from your neck and his head forms; you hear his voice aloud for the first time in several minutes. 

“Why Make Up The Bed When We Are Just Going To Mess It Up Again?” touché. you never expected him to be so suave. 

despite being back in your body, changbin takes hold of your motor functions and brings you to the bed to lay. his head disappears back into you, and now the only way you can tell changbin is still inside of you is the inky-black birthmark-esque swirl on your shoulder. 

you can tell when changbin lets you have full control of your body again because your arms flop down onto the bed when he’s done using them. 

There Are So Many Things We Could Do. You Have So Many Beautiful Ideas In Here, Sweetheart. 

sweetheart! damn, changbin’s starting off strong. 

Yes. I Am You. I Can Hear Your Thoughts, Feel Your Desires. We Share A Mind While I Am Inside. We Are Perfect For Each Other. You Do Not Even Have To Tell Me What You Want Because I Already Know. 

you don’t want to wait any longer, quickly tugging off your shirt. arms sprout from your shoulders again to help you take off your boots, your pants. 

“changbin! i- i want to see you so bad,” you whimper. 

he hums. it’s quiet for a minute, so quiet you almost worry that he left, but you know better than that. the swirl on your shoulder grows, and soon there is a human sized body perched beside you on the bed. 

“o-oh, how did-?” 

“I Know Everything You Desire, Remember?” the nod of your head is frantic. if you had any doubts, this just solidified everything. 

the body beside you is everything you could have ever dreamed of. despite the oil-black skin and pink sentient veins, this is the body of your dream man. changbin has taken the form of your absolute ideal type. rather than the hulking seven-foot-six creature, he’s much closer to your size now, with wide shoulders, a plush chest, and a soft stomach. somehow, there’s even a mop of curly, black hair on top of his head. the cherry on top though is his cock, short and thick. mouth-wateringly thick with a heavy set of balls. 

“you were perfect before,” you whisper, just a tad overwhelmed with changbin’s seemingly endless capabilities. when you caress his face with your fingers, the same scar still sits on his chin. 

changbin’s still attached to your body by the tendril, and since you remain connected he knows you’re telling him the truth. 

“Worry Not, I Think I Like This Body! With My Incredible Reasoning Skills I Can Already Tell It Is Going To Prove Very Useful. To Both Of Us.” 

before you know it, you’re panting at the ceiling. your hands are tangled in changbin’s mop of curly hair as his long tongue fucks inside your cunt. you know your dream man didn’t have a tongue like that, but it seems like playing with changbin’s tongue earlier might have changed some things for you subconsciously. 

his tongue curls deliciously against that spongy little spot inside, and his strong hand grabs your leg when it kicks out. 

“‘s, oh, it’s so f-fucking deep in my pussy, changbin! that’s perfect, baby, oh my god.” no tongue, no cock, no toy, has ever felt like this before. his tongue is warm and slimy, still so ridiculously long and dexterous. you’d sit on that tongue all damn night if you didn’t want his cock so bad. 

I Can Feel How Much You’re Enjoying This, changbin’s voice mutters in your head. Your Cunt Clenches So Tight When I Lick You Here. You Taste Magnificent, My Love, Like Nectar. You Can Never Go Back Now, Understand? I Need This Little Pussy Everyday. 

“wanna- wanna! yes, keep me here w’you. i’ll be so good to you, binnie. keep me- just keep me. on your tongue, on your cock. you like it? gonna- gonna keep it so wet for you.” you’re damn near delirious at this point, but it’s true. you’ll happily stay here with him and chan forever. 

you mewl when changbin’s tongue slips from your cunt, leaving you achingly empty. you move your hand to shove your own fingers inside, but changbin reaches them first, holding your hand in his own and guiding it back to his hair. 

instead of fucking his tongue inside again, he flicks lightly at your clit and then does something you’ve never felt before. he turns his head to the side and his tongue curls, circles and coils protectively around your swollen clit until it’s hugging that little bead tight. your breath catches in your throat, and your legs begin to shake when he tightens his tongue. it’s so slimy, so wet and tight, and it’s over when changbin’s tongue pulses. 

Let Me Drink It, he calls to you, an omniscient thing, and you’d never dream of denying him. you cum harder than you ever have, you swear by that, clit pulsing in time with his tongue. it slips messily back into his mouth when you push him away with shaky palms. 

“please, pleasepleaseplease changbin, give your cock to me now. don’t you want to feel me?” 

“You Do Not Have To Beg, I Will Give You Everything Your Heart Desires, Your Body Desires.” changbin drapes himself over your body and presses a kiss to your lips. yours fall open quickly, and changbin’s long tongue makes its way between your lips. you can taste yourself, along with the chocolate and marshmallows, and you’re quickly becoming addicted to the taste and feel of him. 

“put your cock in me, binnie,” you whisper against the skin of his cheek. “‘m ready for you, you can just put it right in, okay?” 

changbin purrs and sits up on his knees, taking hold of his thick cock to get a feel of it in his hands. 

you’re sopping wet, and you know it’s going to sting so good opening you up. usually you’d use more lube to be safe, but you clearly don’t have to worry about that with changbin. because his cock is secreting its own lubrication. 

“oh you’re- oh,” you whimper. you pull him down over you again, keening when your hips grind together. the added lubrication from his cock makes your eyes roll. 

“I Am Ready For You Now, Like You Are Ready For Me,” changbin growls. he grips his cock, and it slides right in. the glide is so good, so wet. with his dick being so short you don’t have to wait too long until he’s fully sheathed inside, but the girth. god, the girth has you panting and gripping the pillow under your head in no time. 

“you’re f-fillin’ my pussy up! bin, binnie. oh, fuuuck!” 

“Your Body Is Incredible; The Way It Molds Around Me Is Heavenly. Your Cunt Hugs Me So Tight… Like It Doesn’t Want Me To Leave.” what's more heavenly than that is the way changbin fucks you, and he’s not wrong. you never want him to leave. you want his delicious cock safe and snug inside your pussy all day always. 

you’re close already, embarrassingly so, still sensitive and hungry from your previous orgasm that changbin ate from you. 

“if you- if you touch my clit i’ll cum for you again, changbinnie.” 

changbin answers you with a grunt, and rather than touching you with his fingers, a tiny tendril sprouts itself from his hip and immediately makes its way to your clit. his hands stay planted beside your head for leverage, and he fucks you with a stamina you’ve never seen before. 

“Yes. Cum Again, Let Me Feel The Way You Squeeze Me.” 

as if on command your back arches and you cum hard thanks to the heavy feeling of changbin’s cock and the small tendril batting lightly at your clit. 

“My Turn Now. I Know What You Want. I Know, And I Will Let You Have It.” you don’t have time to be confused because changbin cums. he cums, and he cums, and he cums some more. you’d almost forgotten that’s something you wanted, but now you know his balls were so heavy because he was carrying so much cum for you. 

you weren’t even aware you closed your eyes in the first place, but you wake up curled comfortably in changbin’s bed. you pat around in the bed for him to no avail. you sit up and stretch, sore and sated, and are pulled out of your peaceful daze by loud talking in the living room. 

you pad quietly to the door and crack it open to see that chan is awake, and changbin has made his way back to his original host. you’re not sad because you know he’ll come back to you again. he’s still taking the form he took last night when he took you, and that makes you smile. he must really like it. 

“why is someone sleeping in my bed?! wha- who even are you?! why do you look like that?” 

“Do Not Be A Bitch, Chan! And That Is Our Soulmate! You Will See Once You Pull Your Head Out Of Your Ass.” 

“the only head i have in my ass is yours, you leach! what did you do last night?” 

“Wouldn’t You Like To Know?” 

you’re standing in the fully open doorway now, hip cocked and arms crossed. neither chan nor changbin notice you, and changbin suddenly seeps back into chan’s body, covering him in black tendrils and disappearing all together, just to throw chan against the wall. 

you gasp and cover your mouth with your hands, standing on your tiptoes when a picture frame falls off the wall and narrowly misses chan’s head. 

“ahhh shit, that’s… abusive. oh!” chan finally notices you standing in the doorway and rights himself quickly, hissing and grabbing at his back when he stands. “h-hi, hey. i’m chan.” 

“Good Morning! Our Most Beautiful One. Breakfast? Chan Will Make Tater Tots.”

warnings: venom!changbin (binom!!!), tongue sucking, gagging, thigh humping, body jumping (hosting? idk it should make sense when u read it), venom!reader for a short bit, body control, mind reading, unprotected monster sex, creampie

notes: just for fun! here's a few little extra stuff i thought would be nice to add/clarify.

i know fire is like the symbiotes' worst enemy, but i was thinking that at the beginning changbin was practicing making s'mores at his little campfire so he could tell chan when he wakes up that he did it <3 a little exposure therapy if u will lmao. they’ve been working on it together.

idk if i made this clear enough but your dream man was changbin! like actual real life changbin, the ideal height, build, curly hair... all of that was supposed to look like binki - so i hope i made that clear enough!

whenever changbin uses you as a host after he puts chan to sleep (a now sort of frequent occurrence) instead of detaching and using his big, hulking 7'6" body, he likes to mainly take the form of the body of your dream guy, of course he knows you're attracted to him in any form he decides to be, but if he can be anything then hell yeah he's going to look like your ideal man.

if you haven’t seen venom, both the first and the second, i really recommend them! venom and eddie are so binchan coded to me. i was also actually going to make venom changbin’s cousin but ended up deciding against that lmao. also if you have no clue who venom is then i recommend googling him or watching a youtube vid so you can see what changbin looks like! he looks like venom, just with pink little squigglies instead of silver :)

thank you guys so much for reading! from the bottom of my heart i hope u enjoyed hyunsvngbinitober as much as i did! happy halloween!!!! 🧡🖤

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my favourite genre of gnabnahc photos 🩶

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[scan] ATE accordion ver. CHANGBIN _fff255_