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Monster Hunter Stories 2: Wings of Ruin (Review)

First off, putting it out there that I just finished the free Trial Version of the game Monster Hunter Stories 2: Wings of Ruin. Felt inspired, and wanted to do a quick review.

OVERVIEW

Right off the bat, I will say Wings of Ruin is a great time. If you are a fan of JRPGs, the Monster Hunter games, or just love watching anime, there's certainly something in the game you will love. The art is gorgeous, the cinematics are engaging, the combat feels satisfying, and getting to ride on dinosaurs and dragons is never a bad time.

Unfortunately the timing of the game is not ideal, as it will certainly have a rough time competing with the other monster companion collector game that is big now. Wings of Ruin definitely feels like another game that copied Pokemon's homework, but unlike Palworld, it actually remembered to change its answers a bit to make it less obvious.

Regardless, the game is definitely a fun time, and releasing a totally free trial version of the game was a super smart idea in my opinion. The trial does a great job of introducing the story elements, while leaving you wanting more. It gives you just the right amount of quest content, combat encounters, and leveling up opportunities to see just what the game has to offer. I had not even heard of the game before coming across the trial version. But it was free, so I figured why not give it a shot? And now, I'm eager to open my wallet for the full game.

THE GOOD

One of the reasons I was hesitant to play the game initially is because I 1. Had not yet played the other Monster Hunter games (though am a big fan of some of Capcom's other action RPG titles), and 2. Saw that it was a sequel and immediately thought "Do I Need To Play Monster Hunter Stories One To Understand Monster Hunter Stories 2?" Good news is, you don't. In fact, the English remaster of the original Monster Hunter Stories game doesn't even come out until later this year. So you can play that one as a prequel when it comes out, I guess?

Aside from the story, the art is just gorgeous, as is expected of a Monster Hunter title (and Capcom in general). The game is colorful, vibrant, and it does a great job of pulling you into the world. I was very happy to just run around the map on the back of various different monsters, quests be damned.

THE BAD

As I mentioned, the game definitely pulls inspiration from Pokemon with the "capturing monsters" mechanic. Which is not a bad thing in and of itself, however the execution is a bit odd in my opinion.

In the trial version, it's super easy to just get all of the different types of available monsters. However, the mechanic that is introduced is a bit convoluted. You have to find and fight the monster (like Pokemon), weaken it (like Pokemon), and then hit it with a "paintball" (basically a Pokeball). But then you have to chase it back to it's lair, steal one of its eggs and take it back to your camp, where you hatch it to get that monster type. I feel like the mechanic will probably be a lot more interesting in the full game, where there are a lot more monsters to find and collect, but in the trial version it seemed like it takes away from your other mission objectives.

Like in other Monster Hunter titles, you have access to various weapon types but, while the combat had a lot of great things going for it, the weapon selection mechanic and actual weapon skills seemed pretty underwhelming. Switching weapons in combat to counter a particular enemy type seemed more like a chore to me than rewarding gameplay. (I just want to use my cool bow!)

Also, the monsters are called "monsties," and it was the single worst narrative decision in the game.

THE OTHER

The story also makes the jump from serious to anime-style wackiness a bit too quickly if you're not ready for it. A lot of the game is fun and funny, but I was not expecting some the almost slapsticky skill animations and cutscenes. As an anime fan, I definitely appreciated them, but I think they could have set you up for it a bit better.

The game also includes a "quick battle" feature that lets you skip over combat if you far out-level your opponent. Although, I wonder if such a feature is necessary if combat is fun enough on its own. I did find myself already starting to feel the battles were a bit cut and dry by the end of the trial. I didn't have an answer for the issue, but it's definitely a challenge worth tackling.

MY RATING

I could go on, but those were the stand-out points for me. I also don't want to say too much having not actually played the full game yet. That said, I was very impressed by the Wings of Ruin trial version, as it seemed like a perfect little snippet of the game to drum up interest.

I definitely recommend checking out the trail version at the very least as it was a lot of fun (not to mention free!). I am definitely more of an action RPG fan, so I felt a little biased against the combat system. But then, it just confirmed for me that I need to go back and pick up Monster Hunter: World.

Final Score: 4.5/5

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Cho'Gath, The Terror of the Void

Tragic news with the recent layoffs at Riot, as well as the announcement that LOR is no longer going to have support for its PVP mode. However, I love the game too much to let it go.

I was taking a look at some of my old card designs, and figured I'd do a quick update to my very first one: Cho'Gath.

I really loved this design since it is thematic for the champion, but also gives a new look to the Fiora-style "kill X units to win the game." Cho'Gath is a fairly strong challenger unit that continues to grow the more weak units you are able to pick off. And then, once he levels up, if the opponent has no blockers (or you're able to get a cheeky Overwhelm buff on him), he can just win you the game outright with a single hit to the nexus!

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Jhin the Virtuoso

Not sure what the next Iona champ will be (although, I have a good idea about the next Shurima and Piltover&Zaun champs), but I came up with an idea for Jhin, and I ended up really liking it.

Jhin is “the Virtuoso” (of death), and his character is all about setting up elaborate and beautiful kills. Even though he is a sniper, it wouldn't make sense for him to have a straightforward ability or level up requirement. It's all about the set up!

And for that reason, I wanted his level up to be difficult, but also really satisfying. And a 2 drop who can cause a chain reaction, potentially wiping out an entire enemy board with one death trigger, feels pretty satisfying.

Card Designer by KF-Pixel

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Original Ephemeral Card Concepts

Some more original Legends of Runeterra card concepts. After sharing my Nasus concept (and then seeing how similar he ended up), plus the recent reveal of Kindred, I am ITCHING to get my hands on this new set.

Shadow Isles is my favorite region, so I love seeing it get some love. And Kindred looks like a ton of fun to experiment with. This got me wanting to play around with some other Shadow Isles concepts, specifically looking at the Ephemeral strategy.

With the Empires of the Ascended set, we've already seen some potential synergies with Ephemeral units; however, I wanted to throw some more concepts out there because, why not?

These two concepts basically came from my thoughts on what the Ephemeral archetype is really missing: units that can actually stick to the board. Even with just one unit like this, I think it opens up a lot of great opportunities for the strategy that can make it incredibly viable.

I think both of these cards are pretty well balanced. I was considering Overwhelm on the "Fleshstarved Ravager" (forgive my lack of creativity for a name), but I feel like he may already be too strong for a 5 drop potentially. I didn't want him to be too expensive, but a 6 mana 5|2 with Overwhelm, plus the potential of sticking to the board indefinitely sounds pretty dope. Not to mention, these two cards together would make a pretty nasty duo!

Card Designer by KF-Pixel

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Nasus - LOR Champion Card Concept

It's been a long time since I've posted a LOR card concept! I've had a similar idea for Nasus for a long time, but with the announcement of the new Shurima expansion (plus the reveal of Renekton), I got all excited and wanted to make an update to it.

I know we are likely to see Nasus' official reveal in the next few days potentially, but I still wanted to share this since I liked the concept, and I wanted to compare it to what Riot ends up giving us.

The idea is that Nasus is pretty underwhelming at level 1. He has a high health stat for a 3 drop (plus Regeneration), but unless he is buffed, he doesn't pose much of a threat. But over time Nasus can level up and provide near endless sustain. He's too beefy to remove easily, and with the buff to his attack, he can regen an entire game's worth of damage if he connects.

I like that he has the potential to stall out games until his third level up, where he can just clear the board, while also buffing his attack stat. It's also a great counter to Shadow Isle Anivia and They Who Endure decks.

Card Designer by KF-Pixel

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Giant Diaries, pt. 32

Here I am again. “The end of the line,” as I always call it. The point of no return.

I’ve been taking a lot more long drives these days. Not even scavenging runs, but just for myself. I’m not even sure what I hope to gain. It’s not like I don’t get enough time out on the road as it is.

Perhaps it’s just the feeling of emptiness that I seek to fill. Or maybe the thrill of stumbling on uncharted territory.

Whatever it is, I always find myself stopping here.

I take another look at my fuel gauge. Exactly 50 percent. Another mile or so and I have no choice but to continue, and hope I eventually run into a refueling station. My mental map of the desert only extends as far as I have ridden, so there is no telling what is beyond this point.

I suppose that’s what excites me about coming out here. The possibility. What if there is something better out there? Somewhere I can feel fulfilled? Sustained? Loved?

I never would have described myself as a sentimental person. All I’ve ever done is turn my back on everything I’ve ever known. Perhaps it’s selfish of me to think that it wasn’t my fault all along.

I swing my leg around to hop off the Hummingbird. I take a walk.

The desert is always quiet, but being this far out feels so much more free. Wild. No one in their right mind would come all this way without a contingency plan. No one but me, anyway.

Just off the road is a ridge with a pretty devastating drop off. I step right up to the edge of it, and gaze over the cliff.

There’s a certain beauty to a fall like this. I always wished I could leap off the edge, just to feel the sensation of falling.

No way to survive a fall like that, but what if it was worth it? I imagine the adrenaline would be the same that I feel when I’m on the hummingbird, but multiplied. It might be bliss.

Who knows? What if the only thing stopping me from sprouting wings and flying off is my hesitance to jump? No way to really know if I never go for it. And if it doesn’t work out, I wouldn’t even feel the hit.

I shake myself back to my senses and look up toward the horizon instead. The vast expanse of the desert makes me feel a sense of infinance. I never took the time to gaze out over it all like this. It’s beautiful.

My hands tremble a bit as I carefully take off my mask. I take a moment to examine it, before letting it fall between my fingers.

I suppose I’ve made my choice.

I do a quick about face and head back to the hummingbird. This is the day I turn over a new leaf. I don’t want to live in fear anymore. Maybe Belladonna was right. Maybe I hadn’t fully considered who I really am and what I really want.

I mount the hummingbird and gaze off into the distance.

“Who am I kidding?” I say aloud.

I take one final moment of consideration.

I start the engine.

[street-saint]

Giant Diaries, pt. 31

“Home.”

It was eerily quiet when she entered the room, but everyone seems to get a jolt of energy from her sudden break in the silence.

“Home,” She says again. “What is it? What does the term mean to us? Does such a thing even exist for us?”

Annielly scans the room, seeing only blank stares. A few withdrawn expressions.

After this new silence lingers a bit too long, she speaks up again.

“Personally, I never thought much about it before. What point was there? I lived in the same city all my life. Travel was never even a possibility. So, I guess that was my home.

“But that was taken from me. From all of us, wasn’t it? Suddenly, I had to consider what life would be living outside my home.

“A part of me always resented it, you know? Living there. It was not my choice. I had no say in it. How could it possibly be a home for me, you know? I hated myself any time I had feelings of complacency. It felt like I had given up every time. That’s what I always thought.

“But then, it occurred to me that if it were really all that bad, why didn’t I run? The door was always open. I could have chosen to die alone in the desert. Why did I choose to stay in that place that was not where I belonged? That was not my home?”

Annielly paused for effect, gazing over the now captivated faces surrounding her.

“I’ll tell you what. I’ve done a lot of thinking about it now that I’m here and away from all that. The truth is, it was all of you.”

She smiles brightly.

“If it weren’t for all of you, I would have never lasted in there. The solidarity of knowing I wasn’t alone. The love and support we all extended to each other. The comfort in knowing that, despite everything, I still have support. I still have people around me who care about me, and know my heart. There was something beautiful about that fact, even living in such a dark place.

“After that, after coming here, I realized what home truly is. It’s not the place you were born, or the house you grew up in. Home is family. It’s the place where the people who really care about you are. It’s the place you can allow yourself to feel comfortable even in the most dire of circumstances, you know?”

Annielly had done a commendable job of holding back her tears up until this point. However, seeing the quivering lips and sobbing faces of the Sprites around her, she could no longer help herself.

“You all gave me a purpose in a way, you know?” She wipes the tears from her cheeks and continues. “I knew that if I was gone, that’s one less ally to all my comrades who needed support, you know?”

One of the Sprites in the circle around Annielly quietly stands. She sobs weakly under her breath and steps toward the center of the circle. A few other Sprites follow her movements as she does.

Annielly also turns to watch her approach. Without a word, she extends her arms, to which Annielly immediately returns a nurturing embrace.

The Sprites continue to quietly cry together as a group.

After another moment, the Sprite breaks away from Annielly and retakes her seat just as nonchalantly as she stood earlier.

Annielly wipes away more tears. “And so, that’s why I wanted to have you all together. Because that’s the most important thing, you know? Feel free to share as much or as little as you like. We’re all just here to support each other.

“So, does anyone else have some thoughts about what ‘home’ is? What does it mean for you?” Annielly takes a few steps back, returning to her own seat.

As she does, another Sprite wearily holds her hand up.

Annielly smiles brightly and extends her hand to her, “Yes! Is there something you’d like to share?”

TO BE CONTINUED…

[street-saint]

Giant Diaries, pt. 30

And just like that, I found myself in an unwinnable situation. The garage doors closed shut behind me, Annielly by my side, three Giants before us, and no backup coming. Each Giant met us with an angry scowl on their face. We just single-handedly destroyed their entire business operation, so their anger was justified, I suppose.

I step just in front of Annielly, blocking her from this immediate threat. I quietly take her hand, and she gives mine a squeeze in return.

This is about as bad as I could have imagined things would get.

It was a mere minutes earlier that I thought the plan was going flawlessly. I figured it was only a matter of time before everything blew up in our faces. And here we are.

I retrace my steps, trying to think if there was any way we could have prevented this outcome.

We entered the facility, and without a word, Annielly was off to collect the other Sprites. It was exactly as we had planned. While she rallied the troops, I would stand by to clear the path to the exit.

I figured it would take some time to get a critical mass together, but with the guards distracted, I hoped that the Sprites would be more open to listening to a familiar voice.

I suppose I let my mind wander a bit as I waited on them, because I was not as vigilant as I should have been when Ayel spotted me. That was my first mistake.

In my hubris, I neglected to notice that she was the very same Sprite that gave us a hard time during our previous visit to Gridlock. Of course, she recognized me immediately.

“Hey! It’s you!” she called out to me. “You’re that same one who was causing trouble before!”

I stood up quickly, turning to her and pressing a finger to my lips to shush her. This was my second mistake.

“Excuse me?!” Her volume increased from before. “You have no authority to go sneaking around like this.”

I shook my head and waved her closer. She obliged. This was my third mistake.

“Sorry. You don’t understand,” I said. “The guards are distracted. We’re getting you all out of here.”

“So you are up to no good,” responded Ayel. “What is your name?”

“Belladonna,” I responded confidently.

As I expected, Ayel was surprised to hear a Sprite name. Her face curved into a sneer, and she tipped her nose up at me. “Well, I am Ayel, and I will not be party to such insubordination.”

She turned to walk away, but I managed to grab her hand before she could get far. She gasped loudly in a gaudy show of indignance.

“Hey!” I said sharply, turning her to face me. One look at the sincerity in my expression, and she held her tongue. “I’m not going to pretend to know your life, but you have an opportunity here. I know you didn’t choose to be here. To live this way. So, why not come with us? You can go back to living how you want to. Instead of just doing what you’re told.”

Ayel wrenched her hand away from mine. “You’re right. You know nothing about me. And I’ll have you know, I don’t just do what I’m told here. They respect me. I have more say over my life than I ever did when I was out there.” She pointed to the open garage behind me, to the vast desert outside.

“That may be so. But it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. We can help you. You don’t have to be out there on your own.”

“I already have my family here. I don’t need your charity. And I certainly don’t need your pity.”

It was at that point that the first wave of Sprites came storming over towards us. Instinctively I stepped aside, waving them past me to get into our commandeered truck.

I gave one last look at Ayel, who had also stepped out of the way of the fleeing Sprites. “It’s your choice,” I said. “But, I promise wherever you go from here has got to be better than this.” I gestured to the cold, dark warehouse. This was my fourth and final mistake.

Ayel shook her head, giving me another stinging look of indignance. “This is my home!” And with that, she was gone. I had clearly offended her, but there was no sense chasing after her. I already had a whole herd of Sprites to look after.

Darro assisted me as we got the Sprites over the ledge of the garage and into the back of the truck. And after what felt like an eternity, I finally saw Annielly leading the last of the pack towards us.

She was beaming at me, and all I could do was smile back. We had finally done it. Or so we thought.

Taking one last survey of the area, I saw Ayel once again on the other side of the facility. She had a frantic air about her. She waved a hand over her head, and then pointed directly at us.

“This is not good.” The words slipped off my tongue. I could hear Annielly, now beside me, ask what I was talking about, but my body had already started moving on its own.

“Get them out of here, NOW!” I commanded Darro. She responded with a blank look of understanding and an earnest nod in my direction, before manhandling the rest of the Sprites into the back of the truck.

With that, I was off and running in the direction of Ayel.

I didn’t know what I was going to say or do, but I knew I just needed to buy the others another minute to get clear of the site.

I heard rushed footsteps behind me, and I shot a nervous look over my shoulder. Annielly was on my heels, and to my surprise, gaining on me.

“What are you doing? Get out of here!” I demanded.

“Not without you,” she said. And I could tell from her tone there was no convincing her. This was the old Annielly I was speaking to. Once again, I couldn’t help but smile.

The two of us stopped abruptly as three Giants raced around the corner. The Giants also froze, surprised to see two Sprites stand their ground against them.

“You want to explain to me what’s going on here?” said the one in front.

I puffed up my chest in an act of defiance, attempting to build my confidence. However, I hadn’t had time to figure out what I was going to say to them. And so I just stood there in an obstinate silence.

“Well?!” barked the Giant.

The Giants began to ready their prod-like metal weapons.

I took a deep breath.

“My name is Belladonna,” I said. “You people abducted my friend Annielly and I from our home, to bring us here to work as your slaves. But, you did not succeed. I escaped. But I came here anyway of my own free will, because if I hadn’t, you would continue to steal away innocent Sprites like me from their homes and bring them here to live their lives based on your selfish desires. I was not going to stand for that any longer.”

We all heard the slam of the garage door shutting behind us, as well as the roar of a truck engine starting and pulling away.

I took another breath, and smiled. “As I speak, the innocents you abducted are being brought to a safe place where you can never make them do your bidding any longer.”

My voice tapered off as I saw the Giants clutch their weapons tighter. The one in front took an ominous step closer to me, but I held my ground. It was clear they were mere moments away from flying off into their Rage.

I took a step forward, in front of Annielly. I took her hand, and she squeezed mine.

And in this moment, I close my eyes and picture Teddy. I imagine her stroming towards us from around the corner, making short work of these three Giants, and grabbing my free hand as she rushes me off to the hummingbird waiting outside.

I shake my head.

Not this time.

This time, you handle your own problems.

As I open my eyes, I see the Giants’ cheeks flare with a red hue. Their veins bulge from their temples and necks. Their pupils shrink to a size where they are barely visible. It is clear that in this rage, the only thing they can see is me.

I can hear Teddy’s voice in my head once again. “I always knew I would never be the biggest and strongest,” she said, “so I always had to come up with some other way to beat my opponents.”

I point to the crates of essence to my right. “Annie!”

Annielly double-takes, not sure why I would ask for essence in such a dire situation. But without a word, she rushes over to the crates.

I open my hand expectantly, and Annielly, reading my thoughts, tosses a vial of essence to me. The Giants growl and stomp forward. I take it this is the last act of insubordination they are willing to tolerate.

But before they can reach me, I raise the vial over my head and smash it down to the ground in a dramatic display. The vial shatters just as dramatically on the ground, emitting a faint blue mist into the air around us.

Like a clutch of kittens, the Giants all turn their heads in unison toward the smashed vial. I use this momentary distraction to grab hold of one of the Giants prods and give it a shove back.

The business-end of the prod snaps back into the Giant’s hip and gives her a nasty shock. Her whole body tenses up, and topples over to the ground.

I wrench the prod away from her hand, and have enough time to jam it into the next one, lunging forward like a fencer. She too seizes up and collapses.

Unfortunately, this gives the last Giant enough time to retaliate. I do not manage to see her as she spins around and swings the prod in a violent arc. The side of it clips my head and I feel my body crash onto the cold concrete under me.

I hear Annielly’s voice cry out. I cannot see her.

I claw my hand out for the prod that scattered across the ground away from me, but it is just outside my reach.

It’s no use.

It’s too late.

I hear the zap of a prod above me spark to life, as I continue to weakly reach for a weapon of my own. I close my eyes expectantly.

But instead, I hear the thud of another body crash to the ground beside me. I turn to see that it is the third Giant that has joined me on the concrete.

I roll over to see Annielly hovering above me with a prod of her own in hand. She reaches out to me, “Come on! Let’s get out of here!”

Annielly helps me to my feet and we hobble over toward the main entrance to the facility, which is the closest way back out into the desert.

As we go, I see Ayel in my peripheral vision, cowering in a corner. She gives me the same stern look, though there is some fear and uncertainty behind it. But I have no more time to care for her wellbeing, and I merely turn my head away, focusing on the exit.

“Hang in there,” I can hear Annielly say. I am filled with a selfish sense of pride.

This feeling is replaced with hope, as I see Alister on the other side of the doors ahead of us. She gives us a dramatic wave to hurry up.

I close my eyes.

“Annie, let’s go home.”

TO BE CONTINUED… 

[street-saint]

Giant Diaries, pt. 29

I could have never predicted I would be back to this place so soon. And yet, somehow I manage to keep my calm. Even when I came to Gridlock the first time, I noticed that I was not as nervous as I imagined I would be. But then, coming here voluntarily is very different from the alternative.

At this point, all I can do is wait and hope that all of the chips fall where we planned. I must say, I am surprised that we made it to this point without any serious complications.

Annielly’s intel was critical in laying out our initial plan. Knowing when one of their trucks would depart allowed us to perfectly execute our diversion.

I had always seen Annielly as the strongest of the two of us. Even when we were growing up. We were never super close, but we lived in such a small community that everyone pretty much knew everyone else. Annielly was never the center of attention, but she always seemed confident in herself. She knew who she was, and what she was capable of. And she never let anyone force her into a position she didn’t want to be in.

I envied her so much back then. In fact, knowing that she was out there in the same situation as I was is what motivated me to stay strong when I was captured by Gridlock in the first place. I didn’t stop fighting, because I knew Annielly would be doing the same.

However, being with her now has shown me just how degrading an impact this type of captivity can have. Annielly seems like a completely different person now. Submissive, withdrawn, skittish. There are moments when the old Annielly shows through, but the moment we got out into the desert, she was clinging to my arm.

“What’s up?” I asked her. “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.”

“I know,” she said. “But I just don’t like it, you know? This feeling.” She pulled in even closer to me. “Are you sure we can actually do this?”

There was still some strength in her voice, but it was obvious how fearful she was. I gave her a comforting squeeze. “I told you, don’t worry. I promise nothing will happen to you.”

Annielly shook her head. “I don’t care about what happens to me. I just need to know that this is going to work. Tell me we’re not making a big mistake coming out here.”

I squeeze her again. “I promise. You and I both know we’re doing the right thing.”

It was not long before we saw the large white truck in the distance. There was no turning back now.

Annielly and I made a break for it, running as fast as we could further into the desert. We could hear the truck screech to a halt as two Giants leaped out and pursued us on foot. I could hear them calling out to us, though I couldn’t tell what they were saying.

Annielly stumbled a bit. Her strength had not fully returned to her, so she had trouble keeping pace with me. Regardless, there was no outrunning these Giants. I could easily hear their heavy footfalls gaining on us quickly.

“Hurry!” is all I could think to say as I pulled Annielly closer to me to help her run. I could see a ridge in the distance. “We just need to lose them behind there.” I said, trying to boost Annielly’s confidence.

It seemed to work, and her pace began to quicken. Although, I could still hear our pursuers on our tail. Suddenly the ridge looked miles and miles away. I put everything I had into my legs and began sprinting.

Annielly fell behind, but I managed to grab hold of her hand. Now I was just dragging her forward.

Only minutes ago, I told her how confident I was in our plan. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if everything fell apart that quickly.

Pulling Annielly behind me, we finally rounded the corner of the ridge, escaping the Giants’ line of sight. But not for long. By now, they were only a few feet behind us, in hot pursuit.

But it was fine now, because we had back-up.

Sitting back up against the ridge wall, I gave a quick nod up to Alister, who stood ready with Darro. The moment the two Giants showed their faces, they were met with metal rods to the throat. With two sharp swings of their weapons, Alister and Darro closelined our pursuers, sending them ass over teakettle. They then made sure they were out cold with another two strikes to the head.

After double checking these threats were nullified, Alister turned to me saying, “Well, that’s phase one down.”

This made it simple enough to take the empty Gridlock truck sitting on the side of the road, and use it to drive right back into their home base.

And now, here we are. Back where it all started.

Annielly and I both in the darkness of a Giant’s truck.

All we can do is wait and pray that the next person who opens the door is a friend rather than foe.

I didn’t imagine this part would be so stressful.

I hold Annielly close. I can feel her body flinch at my touch. She is predictably on edge.

I open my mouth to say some words of encouragement, but there is no time. We hear the bang of the truck door as it haphazardly slid open.

My eyes are temporarily blinded by the gleam of the sun outside. I squint to make out the Giant before me. Annielly releases the breath she was holding in.

It’s Darro.

In that case, Alister’s diversion must have worked. Which means we have just a little bit of time to get all the Sprites into our stolen getaway vehicle.

I leap out.

“Annie, let’s go,” I say confidently as I march over to the open garage doors.

I can hear Annielly clamour out of the truck, following behind me. Darro’s heavy footfalls follow after her.

I do my best to disguise my fear and uncertainty, for Annielly’s sake.

It’s my turn to be the strong one.

TO BE CONTINUED…

[street-saint]

Giant Diaries, pt. 28

It is truly amazing how a sprawling, unremarkable desert has so etched itself into my very being. To most, it would be impossible to navigate. However, after spending so much of my time on the road, I’ve grown so accustomed to every detail. The subtlest rock formation. The faintest dip in the landscape. A dead plant out in the distance. I’ve always compared it to voyagers using the stars as a compass. These rocks and stumps are constellations.

But today is different. My eyes cannot focus. My mind cannot render thought. It’s as if I’ve willingly turned these functions off and decided to ride out on pure instinct.

I’ve used this technique a lot. Turning off my brain and just hitting the road. Even before the virus hit. This was my way to calm myself after a strenuous conversation with my family. Or a way to clear my head after a particularly rough fight.

I suppose it is almost working. I’ve managed to keep my body and mind calm, despite everything. But I notice that I still have tears in my eyes. There’s nothing to be done about it.

I think the most difficult part about the whole situation is that I have no excuse. There is no argument I can muster to defend myself. I knew this would happen. And then it happened. Plain and simple.

Once my mind steps through this doorway, there is no backing out of it. I feel myself tumbling further into my own thoughts and the road ahead seems lightyears away.

Perhaps there was something I could have done. Perhaps I could have said something earlier. Come clean right from the start.

Right. As if any Sprite would take great comfort in knowing that the Giant that they’ve only just met keeps a supply of essence on them. Not only would I seem threatening, I would also seem like a lunatic.

Maybe I could have thrown it all away. Like I said I would.

But if I’m being honest with myself, there’s no way I would have ever convinced myself to do it. I was suddenly spending all my time with a Sprite. I could smell the essence on her. It took everything I had to just keep my mind from going to dark places. That essence was the only thing that kept me sane around her.

So maybe that’s it. Maybe I am a monster. Maybe I was wrong to think I could ever be anything but a predator. Maybe it’s in my blood and there’s nothing I could do about it anyway.

I hate to believe that is true. That our entire people are beyond salvation. What would be the point in trying then? Is it really a fairy tale to believe we could actually cohabitate peacefully?

No. I’ve seen it myself. As bad as some of the sanctuaries are, for the most part it works. If it were true that we were all monsters, we wouldn’t have sanctuaries in the first place. Maybe we are trying to be better. Little by little.

What does that mean for me then? Can I be forgiven? I only ever wanted to help them. I did everything in my power to resist my own thoughts. Isn’t that all we can ever do? Just try to be the best we can? Fail, but recover?

Should I go back? There might still be time. I could catch them in the middle of their mission, perhaps. I could still help.

I think back to her face. That distant look she had. I had suddenly become less than the dirt on the road beneath me. How would I show my face to her without reigniting that ire?

I’m sure she’s told the others what she found. What I’d done. Who would want me around knowing that? The entire facility of Sprites would want nothing to do with me.

But if I don’t return, does that not just confirm her theory about me? That I don’t care? That I only stuck around because of what I might get out of it?

Yes, the thought of reward crossed my mind. And maybe that makes me a bad person, too. But am I not allowed to seek the things in life that bring me joy?

Since childhood, I believed that these things are actually toxic. That my thoughts are impure. I never trusted myself left alone with my own mind, because nothing good could come of it.

I abandoned everything. My family, my neighbors, the only life I had ever known, just to try and avoid succumbing to my subconscious desires.

Have I made a terrible choice? Isn’t this the reason everyone asks why I never smile? Why I’m always on my own? Maybe I was better off just living on my basest desires. I would have had support, encouragement, security, and the bliss that comes from having no care but for your own self-interest. It doesn’t sound like a bad life.

What do I really gain from being a martyr, aside from becoming a cautionary tale?

A bump in the road shocks me back to my senses.

I haven’t been out here very long. Maybe 20 minutes. Nevertheless, I’m having trouble believing it is still the same day as when I started.

I cut the engine. The rumble of the hummingbird dulls to silence, but I can still hear an echoing in my ears.

I could go back. There might still be a chance to repair things.

But would she even listen to me? Could I bear the sight of her disdain again? Wouldn’t she see right through my attempts to regain her good graces by swooping in and saving the day?

The last thing she said to me was that she didn’t need me. “I promise I don’t need any more of your help,” she said.

The sting of those words still resonate. I felt less than human. The monster I always knew I was.

There really is no sense going back there now, is there? I can’t face her again. There’s nothing more I could say. Maybe my best move is to respect her wishes. Better to forget this ever happened.

I knew from the start, when I first saw what she was, that there was no good end to this relationship. There’s no reason to be surprised this happened. All there is left is to do what I know.

And that’s be on my own.

I start the engine, squeeze the throttle, and I’m gone.

TO BE CONTINUED…

[street-saint]

Giant Diaries, pt. 27

What am I doing?

Am I crazy? Have I actually lost my mind?

Everyone is looking at me. I’m supposed to have all the answers all the sudden.

I’m supposed to be their “Commander.”

Was I wrong to think that a Sprite could take something like this on?

Was I wrong to think that Giants could be trusted to help?

But how are we supposed to do it without them?

How can we do this without Teddy?

I wipe my brow. Alister is still waiting to hear my answer as to why Teddy isn’t here.

Maybe this is a mistake. Maybe I should reconsider.

I might still be able to catch her before she’s gone for good.

Without Teddy to fight for us, we don’t stand a chance.

I audibly gasp. The others at the table lean in. I compose myself.

What am I saying? Do I really think that little of us?

Of course, Teddy is valuable. But is the liberation of an entire warehouse of Sprites dependent on the whim of a Giant that willingly contributes to their suffering?

No. We can do this.

What was it that Teddy said?

“I decided to look at every fight as if I could definitely win. I always knew I would never be the biggest and strongest, so I always had to come up with some other way to beat my opponents.”

I may not be as big or strong as the Giants at Gridlock, but who’s to say I can’t outsmart them?

First thing to do is just to decide that we’re going to win.

“Teddy’s not coming,” I announce.

Annielly sits upright in utter shock. Alister widens her eyes, but then to my surprise, relaxes back into her seat.

“Alright,” she says, “So what’s the plan then?”

She knows there is a lot more to the story, but she’s not asking about it.

We roll out in the morning. The details aren’t important now. Only the plan.

Alister knows this.

Annielly is even more surprised now. Darro says nothing.

Yes. This will work.

We don’t have Teddy’s strength, but we don’t need it.

If we’re going to rescue some Sprites, it just makes sense for Sprites to lead the charge.

If I can’t see the value in myself, Annielly, and all of the other Sprites, what is the point of putting ourselves at risk to save them anyway?

This is my plan, and it’s going to work.

It has to work.

I’m done feeling helpless. I’m done relying on others to tell me what I’m allowed to want and what I am capable of.

The Giants don’t get to dictate my life or the life of any Sprite.

That’s the whole point of this mission.

And I am its commander.

“Right,” I say, leaning in to slam my hands down on the table. “Here’s how we’re doing this…”

TO BE CONTINUED…

[street-saint]

Giant Diaries, pt. 26

When my eyes open, everything is a blur. Not just my vision, but my mind as well. I can’t remember where I am or how I got here.

Slowly, my mind begins to fill in the blanks.

I am outside. My back is up against a large hunk of twisted metal. One of the many salvaged parts strewn around Alister’s back yard.

At least I was able to get some sleep.

I roughly clamor up to my feet. As much as I am used to sleeping in odd places, my seated position still left me feeling groggy and stiff. I raise my arms and do a big stretch. I hope this does not interfere with my ability to perform today.

Unlikely, since I know the adrenaline will keep me sharp.

Suddenly, the implications of our mission hit me.

This is it. Today is the day.

However nervous I was last night, I am now feeling a sense of pride and confidence. I am eager to find Belladonna and feed off of her positive energy.

At that same moment, I hear her voice call out to me from nearby.

“Teddy! Are you out here?”

I must have stumbled a ways out into the yard last night in my sleep-deprived stupor. Following Belladonna’s voice, I can see her standing beside the hummingbird a few yards away.

“I’m here!” My voice cracks badly as I try to speak up, and so I wave my hand over my head to signal her.

Unfortunately, she seems to be distracted by the hummingbird. Or rather, something on top of it. I shake my head and squint to make out a small case in Belladonna’s hands.

Whatever drowsiness that clung to me seconds ago is gone, and replaced with a sickening pit in my core.

My legs move on their own towards the Sprite.

“Belladonna! I’m here!”

I do another frantic wave to grab her attention. She can certainly hear me now, but she does not look away from the case in her hands.

I can see now that it is already open.

My feet pick up their pace.

I don’t run, not wanting to look desperate, but I do hustle as much as I dare.

In another moment, I am just steps away from her, but I freeze in place. There is no question now that she is aware of my presence, so no point in calling out to her now.

Her eyes are still trained on the open case. We can both now clearly see the glimmering blue vials of essence inside.

My breathing slows to a stop, and all I can do is stand a few feet away from Belladonna, praying she does not know what she is looking at.

“Teddy,” she says softly yet steadily, still not looking away from the essence in her hands, “What’s this?”

This is clearly a test.

She knows exactly what it is. That much is clear.

Unfortunately, I have no good answer for her other than to play dumb.

“What? Where did you find that?” I ask.

“It was in the hummingbird. In here.” Belladonna lifts the seat in front of her to reveal the hidden compartment.

“I hadn’t noticed there was extra storage in here before,” she continues, “so I was wondering why you hadn’t suggested we use it at all.”

“I just use that for emergency supplies usually. Honestly I had no idea that was in there…”

“I only found it because it wasn’t fully closed.”

Belladonna finally looks up at me. Her expression is cold. She knows that she has caught me in a lie.

I try to relax my posture, anything I can do to make myself look less guilty.

“I don’t know. Maybe Alister’s friend put it in there? You know I wouldn’t-”

“Teddy, why don’t I believe you?”

There is a sadness and desperation in Belladonna’s words. The pain in her eyes causes me to freeze.

“I think you’re lying to me,” she says, plainly.

I honestly don’t know why I even bothered trying to make up an excuse, when I knew there was never any use.

“I… I don’t know what to say…”

I cut myself off because I can already feel myself breaking down. My lips start trembling before I can even finish my sentence.

“You’re carrying essence, Teddy. Why? Where did you get this?”

The sadness in Belladonna’s voice fades and is replaced with confusion.

“Did you take this while we were at Gridlock?” she asks.

“No!” I say quickly, throwing up my hands defensively. “No, of course not.”

“So then, you’ve had it all along...”

I notice that she is no longer asking, she is just stating a fact. One that feels worse to hear than her initial accusation.

The moment I decide to open my mouth to respond, I can no longer maintain my composure.

The tears begin to fall freely now, clouding my vision. I selfishly wish that this will draw out Belladonna’s sympathy, but she seems completely blind to it.

“Bella… Okay, yes, it’s mine. But I only used it for my headaches. It’s not from Gridlock.”

Belladonna tilts her head. “Then where did it come from?”

I am choked up by this question, though I should have known it was coming.

“I… I don’t know for sure…”

“You don’t.” Once again, she is stating a fact. “But you still use it.”

“No!” I blurt out. “I mean... I’ve been trying to stop.”

“But you’ve used it since you met me.”

She correctly takes my lack of a response as affirmation.

“Have you used it since we heard about Gridlock?”

Once again, I know there is no point in lying. Belladonna’s eyes are trained on me like a bird of prey, seeking out even the slightest display of falsehood.

I fold.

I clench my eyes shut and turn away from her, the tears still streaming down my cheeks.

Belladonna shakes her head.

“I can’t believe it. I trusted you…” she whispers, almost to herself. There is an expression of disbelief in her voice.

These words sting me to my core. Every fantasy I had mapped in my mind about how this confrontation would go pales in comparison to the horror of the real thing.

“Belladonna, please,” I choke out, “You know I would never do anything to hurt a Sprite.”

Belladonna dangles one of the essence vials in front of my face.

“But you know where this comes from. You know what they do to Sprites who make it, right?” Her voice has gone from cold and emotionless to agitated and elevated.

I cover my face with my hands, unable to hold back my pathetic sobs.

“I know! I… I wish I was stronger, I do. I wanted to be stronger. For you. I really wanted to help you. I still do! I promise I do. That’s… that’s not who I am.”

I risk a glance at Belladonna, hoping perhaps some pity has slipped through her stern demeanor.

No such luck.

“You lied to me, Teddy,” she says evenly. “How can I trust you?”

“That’s not me! You know it’s not!” I plead with her. “I didn’t tell you because I was ashamed of it. I was ashamed of who I was. I wanted to stop. I really did.”

“If that’s true, why not throw it away? Why hold onto it, Teddy?” The level of passion behind the condemnation in her voice has increased once again. “Is it because you were afraid I would stop offering it to you myself? You wanted to have a backup in case I wasn’t useful to you anymore?”

I shake my head wildly.

“What? No! Never! I would never…”

She carelessly tosses the case of essence back onto the seat of the hummingbird.

“Honestly, it doesn’t matter.” Belladonna shrugs and turns away from me so coldly, I can barely breathe.

She starts to walk away towards Alister’s shack, and I panic.

“Belladonna, wait!”

“It’s fine, Teddy. I don’t care. Go ahead and use it all you want. You don’t have to worry about my judgment anymore.”

“Belladonna, please! I’m sorry! I’ll get rid of it, okay? I promise!” I start to chase after her.

Belladonna spins around abruptly, and I freeze once again.

“Stop!” she says. “I told you, it’s fine. We can do this thing without you.”

I shake my head. The thought of being taken off the rescue mission like this is too much to bear.

“Please, Belladonna. I want to help. You know I do.”

Belladonna ignores me and spins around once more.

“Just go, Teddy. I promise you I don’t need any more of your help.”

She hurries away toward the door to the shack.

I stay frozen for another moment, before falling to my knees.

I whimper to myself, knowing full well Belladonna can no longer hear me, “Please. I’d take it all back… I swear…”

The door swings firmly shut.

TO BE CONTINUED…

[street-saint]

Giant Diaries, pt. 25

The plan moves forward tomorrow. We plan to return to Gridlock and take back the captured Sprites. I am both anxious and terrified. All I’ve been able to dream about is every scenario where we fail, or one of our people gets captured. There’s no way I can sleep like this.

I roll off the haystack I’ve been calling my bed the last few days and take a walk.

Alister has been surprisingly gracious in all of this. I knew she would help us because she owed me a favor, but I didn’t expect her to be as enthusiastic as she was.

I remember when I first arrived with two Sprites in tow. “Teddy!” she exclaimed, “Your friends are multiplying! If you’ve got some secret, you know you have to share!”

“Alister, I need a favor,” I said, hoping she would take me more seriously. It seemed to work, because her jovial tone faded quickly.

“I see. You bring two Sprites to my place and you ask me for a favor. I’m starting to wonder if you’re really my friend Teddy at all.” Alister folded her arms, and went into business-mode. “Alright then. You need something smuggled in or out?”

“Out.”

Alister just nodded. It never ceases to surprise me how quickly her demeanor can change when she is speaking as a professional. “Let me guess, you’re not going to tell me what it is you’re after?”

“The less you know, the better.”

Alister chuckled. “Excellent. You know how I love secrets.” She then leaned in to whisper to Belladonna and Annielly, “Unfortunately, our friend Teddy here is not particularly good at keeping them. Not from me, anyway.”

I cleared my throat loudly, and Alister snapped back up to face me.

“Right, right. You need supplies then?”

“I’m going to need a bigger truck.”

“How big?”

“As big as the hummingbird can haul.”

Alister scratched her chin, “A bigger truck, eh? So you’re after something big… or a lot of something small…”

“I need it to be something you can’t see into from the outside,” I continued.

“Of course. Wouldn’t be much of a smuggling without discretion.” Alister gave me a curious look, and then surveyed the Sprites once again. She then let out an overdramatic sigh. “Honestly, Teddy, I really must know. What do you plan to do with a truckful of Sprites?”

I was immediately taken aback. Both Belladonna and Annielly also reacted with shock.

“How did you…?”

Alister started pacing like a fictional detective cracking a case. “You come in here with a Sprite out of the blue, and then show up with a second one. And now you’re asking for a larger truck for smuggling something out of somewhere else? My first thought was that you’re getting into the essence trade, but I know you’d never get mixed up in all that. Besides, your truck is already plenty big enough to make essence shipments… unless you weren’t shipping essence, but the Sprites themselves. Which brings me to why you need so many Sprites? You certainly don’t intend to sell them, do you?”

All I could do was rub my sinuses. “No…”

Alister smiled, and then leaned in toward the Sprites again. “You see? I told you she was terrible at keeping secrets.”

“Alister, look. I don’t-”

“I want in,” Alister said sharply.

“What?”

“You’re planning to smuggle Sprites? Teddy, that’s easily the most exciting job that’s ever come across my table. Frankly, I’m offended you didn’t think to tell me right away. But, then again, I suppose it’s better that I had to work for it.”

“Alister, I’m not sure what-”

“Teddy, your hummingbird is built for hauling and maneuverability, yes. But it’s not built for subtlety.” Alister stopped her pacing to face me, folding her arms once again. “Besides, if I could figure out what you’re planning in a manner of seconds, it would only take some other idiot a few minutes maybe. I know you’ve got a bunch of secret skills you don’t want anyone to know about, but I know stealth ain’t one of them.”

Alister pointed her thumb at herself and smiled, “And that’s why you need a professional, like me.”

Honestly, Alister was right. And somewhere in my mind, I always knew we were going to need her on board if we wanted to actually get this done. I just didn’t know how I would approach her with such a wild idea as liberating an entire warehouse of Sprites. But if there’s anyone I would trust with such sensitive information, it would be Alister.

The desert gets quite cold once the sun is down, and I fold my arms to keep my body temperature up. Inevitably, I find myself walking right up next to the hummingbird. My brain must have gone on autopilot to lead me here.

I suppose it’s no surprise. After cutting ties with my past and taking to a life on the road, the hummingbird is the closest thing I have to a home. As on edge as I am, my subconscious sought out whatever could reliably calm my nerves.

A moment later, I look down at my hands and see I am holding my case of essence. In my daze, I must have opened up the hummingbird and fished it out. I would have just as soon believed that it fell from the sky and into my hands.

I pull the inhaler out of my pocket.

“Wait,” I say to myself.

I don’t like where this is going. Even after Belladonna has been offering me her own essence, I am still somehow itching to get another fix. Is it possible she hasn’t satisfied a craving, so much as exacerbated one?

No, this feels different. My craving for my inhaler seems independent of Belladonna. Like it is another addiction entirely. Maybe I am too far gone to swear off essence like I thought I could.

Still, I have to try. For Belladonna’s sake. She would surely feel betrayed if I chose to use essence despite her. Especially if I can’t be sure where these vials were produced.

My hands begin to tremble. I can hear the contents of the case rattle inside. I try to calm myself with a deep breath in and out. I then scan my surroundings. The hummingbird is parked behind Alister’s shack, and there are no windows facing this way from the inside. I can be pretty certain no one will see me here.

My hands start to load the inhaler by themselves. My better judgement tells me to stop, but it is a faint murmur in the back of my head.

“No harm if no one knows about it,” I think. “Besides, I only have a couple vials left. No sense wasting them. And once I’m done, I don’t have to buy any more.”

I picture Belladonna in my mind once again. When all this is over, I’m sure she’ll be thankful to me. Maybe I quit scavenging altogether and stick with her. If she lives in a Sprite sanctuary, I’m sure they’ll have work for Giants. Maybe I can go back to doing security.

I close my eyes and take a deep drag from the inhaler, imagining this new life in my head. Whatever happens tomorrow, I just have to make sure Belladonna gets out safe.

TO BE CONTINUED…

[street-saint]

Giant Diaries, pt. 24

“Belladonna! My love! Come in here, there’s someone you need to meet!” says Alister warmly as I enter the War Room.

We’ve been calling Alister’s den the “War Room” for the past three days as we planned our Gridlock mission. It was Alister’s idea, of course.

Annielly is hustling around placing plates of baked goods on the table. She’s been gradually refining her cookie recipe. Some combination of the fact that there are not many good ingredients available, and the fact that Annielly is not a particularly good baker means that the cookies produced leave something to be desired. I think she has mainly just wanted something to keep herself busy, and keep her mind off her previous circumstances. I’m proud of her for bouncing back so quickly after what she’s had to face.

I catch her eye, and she returns a bright smile. “Good morning, Commander,” she says.

“I told you to stop calling me that,” I tell her as I walk up to my place at the table and take a bite of the cookie she’s left me. It is still a bit overcooked and hard, but better than yesterday’s batch at least. She’s been saying that the only ingredient a chef truly needs is love. I can’t say I agree, but I don’t have the heart to tell her just yet.

I notice Annielly’s expectant look and I send a smile right back her way. “Delicious,” I lie, “Annie, you’re really getting good at this.” Annielly smiles back, spins on her heels, and exits. Probably to start on another batch. I’m still surprised Alister has given her free reign in the kitchen, but I think she just likes seeing Annielly look so animated. I suppose we all do.

Alister places her large hand on my shoulder and I spin around.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I say, “I got distracted by the cookies.”

“You didn’t spit it out the moment she left the room, so they must actually be pretty good this time around,” Alister chuckles. I’m a bit resentful. I don’t mind criticizing Annielly’s baking, but hearing someone else do so does not sit well.

Alister quickly pivots to present another Giant to me who I did not notice standing behind her. “Commander Belladonna, allow me to introduce to you my friend Darro. She’ll be our second driver.”

Darro is massive, even by Giant standards. She stands a few inches taller than Alister, with broad shoulders and ripped muscles. She reaches her hand out to me, which looks to be the size of my torso. I notice the black arm sleeve that covers a good portion of her arm, but I do my best to ignore it. I grab what I can of her hand to shake it courteously.

“Commander,” Darro says obediently.

“Oh, she’s just joking, you don’t have to call me that. Belladonna is fine.”

Darro just nods in response. Her blank expression and militaristic demeanor tell me not to expect much more from her in the way of speech.

“Thank you for helping us. Alister tells me you are very resourceful.”

Darro just shrugs a bit in response.

Called it.

“With that, I think we have everything we need to roll out tomorrow, wouldn’t you say?” asks Alister.

I nod. “I think so.” The mention of it still gives me butterflies in my stomach, but I do my best not to show it in my face. “We should take some time and go over the plan once more with everyone here, and make sure everyone knows what their roles are.”

Alister raises her hand in a salute. “Roger that, Commander.”

“I told you, cut it out.”

Alister laughs, but does not lower her hand. “Whatever you say, Commander.”

All I can do is shake my head. “By the way, have you seen Teddy?”

“Not yet. I’m pretty sure she’s out back with the hummingbird.”

I consider taking another bite of my cookie, but instead drop the rest onto my plate. “I’ll go find her.” I start making my way toward the back door. “Have all the adjustments been made to the Rhino?”

“Yes, ma’am. Gonna give it another look over with Darro here to be sure.”

“Sounds good,” I say, calling over my shoulder. “Come find me here when you’re done, and we’ll talk everything through.” I don’t look back, but I can sense Alister throwing up another salute behind me. “Cut it out, I said.”

As quickly as everything has been moving, I feel more excited than nervous. I would never have expected to be so confident about such a crazy plan, but with the support I’ve gotten from Teddy and Alister, I feel surprisingly optimistic.

Once outside, I look around for Teddy. It doesn’t take long to find her, as I can hear the clinking of tools against the hummingbird.

I round the corner of the shack where I can see Teddy lying on her back, fiddling with something underneath what I assume to be the engine of the vehicle. She doesn’t seem to have noticed me approaching. A compulsive smile creeps over my face, as I can’t help but capitalize on such an opportunity.

I circle around to the opposite side of the vehicle as quietly as I can. Checking to be sure Teddy is still unaware of my presence, I climb up to my seat on the hummingbird and lay across it so I can dangle my head and arms over the side. I pause for another moment, hearing the clinking of tools and heavy breathing from Teddy.

I hover my hand over Teddy’s torso, slowly lowering it down closer to her belly. With a gentle brush of my hand, I flick the edge of her shirt up, exposing some skin.

I hear the tools stop abruptly, and Teddy slides out from underneath the hummingbird. As her face emerges, I place mine as close as I dare to hers, grinning.

“How’s work?”

In slow motion, I see first the color drain completely from Teddy’s skin. Her face contorts into one of abject terror, and her jaw drops to the bottom of her neck. She lurches away to try and stand quickly, but bangs her head loudly on the edge of the hummingbird’s baseboard.

She still nevertheless pulls away and scrabbles to her feet, clutching her forehead. I feel bad that she hurt herself, but the whine of horror that escapes her mouth is well worth the effort.

“B-Belladonna?! What the heck?! What are you doing?” Teddy shrieks, her voice cracking hysterically.

I throw my hands over my mouth, trying to hold my laughter at bay. “Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry, Teddy! Are you okay?”

Teddy takes a few more labored breaths, “Yeah. I’m fine. What are you doing up there?”

I stand up on the hummingbird’s seat. “You looked so focused, I couldn’t help myself. You know how cute you get when you’re nervous.”

Teddy blushes, and then spins around to face away from me. “That’s not funny.”

“Oh, come on, Teddy! I swear I didn’t mean for you to hurt yourself. Let me see it.”

Teddy reluctantly turns back around and walks over. Standing on the seat of the hummingbird, I just barely outsize her. This allows me to easily see the red mark on her forehead. It doesn’t actually look as bad as I thought it would, and I instinctively rub it gently with my thumb.

“It’s not too bad,” I say. “On the bright side, I bet you can’t feel this at all anymore.” I jab at Teddy’s hip with my toe. She pulls away just before I can connect, pushing my leg away. I stumble a bit, but maintain my balance on the hummingbird, laughing all the while.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. No thanks to you,” she sneers.

I can hear some levity return to Teddy’s voice, which empowers me to continue harassing her. “Come on! Don’t say that! Who’s been looking after you this whole time?”

Teddy rolls her eyes, and I chuckle once again.

“Here, let me make it up to you.”

Teddy shoots me a curious, and then uncomfortable look. “Don’t worry,” I say, reading the embarrassment in her eyes, “No one’s watching us.”

I’m not sure why, but Teddy has been very secretive about our relationship ever since we got to Alister’s place. It’s clear she enjoys getting essence from me, and not just because it numbs the pain of her injury. But for whatever reason, she doesn’t want anyone to know about this arrangement.

I suppose I also assumed it would be a one-time thing, but I’ve found that there is a certain excitement that comes from connecting with a Giant. When I offered Teddy essence the first time, it felt a bit strange, but afterwards, I was charged up. Like a surge of electricity had pulsed through me. It made me feel energized somehow.

After offering to her the second time, there was no discomfort at all. It was thrilling. It felt like I could run a marathon afterwards. I doubt it is as intense a feeling as what Giants get, but I never realized offering essence could be as rewarding as receiving it.

I guess that, if the fear of being captured, tortured, or killed is removed, a Sprite can actually feel good about pairing with Giants.

Teddy is still reluctant to take from me, but I do my best to reassure her that I am happy to do it.

I don’t know if it was fate or just coincidence, but I still thank my lucky stars I somehow ended up finding Teddy.

TO BE CONTINUED…

[street-saint]

Giant Diaries, pt. 23

“Well?” Belladonna says, placing her fists on her hips.

I am jolted out of my stupor, and shake my consciousness back to reality.

“What?”

“How does it feel? Do you feel better?”

I touch the burn on my hip. It still stings, but I barely notice it. My body still throbs with a pleasant numbness. It is clear from Belladonna’s expression that she does not notice how significantly her gesture has affected me.

I try to shrug it off. “Yeah. It’s much better. Thank you.”

Belladonna chuckles. “I should probably be thanking you. After everything we said, you came to help me anyway. I thought you said you’d let me handle myself.” She sarcastically squints at me.

I can’t tell if Belladonna is changing the subject out of embarrassment or not, but I happily oblige her.

“I’m sorry I broke my promise to let you die,” I joke. And to my surprise, Belladonna reacts with a full-body giggle. Clutching her sides and snorting. I smile weakly.

I then notice the other Sprite sitting behind Belladonna. I had almost forgotten she was still there. She seems to be surveying me closely, but once I look in her direction, she quickly averts her eyes.

“You must be Belladonna’s friend. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

She looks stunned, and slightly nervous. “Uh, yes. I’m Emai. Or, I guess Annielly…”

I tilt my head curiously.

“When did they start calling you that anyway?” Belladonna cuts in.

“They started calling me that the moment I got there. I dunno, I wasn’t about to ask any questions about it.” Annielly looks a bit melancholy, but then smiles a bit. “It’s been a long time since I’ve actually heard my name.”

“I’m so sorry, Annielly.” Belladonna swiftly lunges over to place a comforting hand on her friend’s shoulder.

“It’s no big deal. But thank you. Thanks for coming back for me.” Annielly’s smile grows ever brighter. She then turns and looks over at me. “And thank you, too.”

Belladonna jumps to her feet. “Oh, right! Annielly, this is Teddy. She helped me find you.” Belladonna does a grand gesture, presenting me to her friend. I can feel my cheeks flush.

“How did you find each other?” Annielly sits up a bit as if a lightbulb went off in her brain. “And how did you even get away in the first place? How did you know where to find me?”

Belladonna smiles. “Well, it’s kinda a long story…”

I see where this conversation is going, so I decide to butt in. My body still feels light, but I am nonetheless surprised I have the energy to leap up to my feet.

“I hate to spoil the moment, but we shouldn’t stay here long if they’re still out looking for us. We should think about our next move before we get too comfortable.”

I did not expect the silence that followed. Belladonna and Annielly both look up at me with wide-eyes; like they are in awe, but I couldn’t say what about.

“What? I’m serious.”

“You’re doing that look again,” says Belladonna.

“What look?”

“You have this look in your eyes when you’re about to fight. You were doing the same thing back in Owariella. It’s almost like you’re about to rage, but you don’t.”

I try to relax my face. “Uh, I’m sorry. I can’t really tell what my face is doing.”

“No, it’s fine,” Belladonna reassures me, “You just look so… confident.”

I shrug my shoulders.

“Those Giants... They looked really tough. And they were all bigger than you! But you just had this confident look on your face, like you knew you could beat them.” I see Belladonna fishing for her words. “How are you always so sure you’re going to win?”

I chuckle under my breath. “Honestly, I’m not. But if you don’t win, it doesn’t really matter in the end.” I shrug again. “I always figured, you might as well be confident in every fight, even if you end up losing. Hesitation only makes you weaker.”

“I guess so…” says Belladonna. She doesn’t seem satisfied with this answer though. “But… that’s not all there is, is there? You said you were trained to fight. Are you just that much better trained than other Giants?”

I scratch the back of my head. “Like I said, I started when I was really young. And I guess I was always kinda good at it. When you know what you’re doing, you can tell when you’re going up against someone who doesn’t. Most Giants just rely on their size and their rage. I was always pretty small for a Giant, so I could never really get away with that.”

“I see. So that’s why you don’t rage.”

“I guess so. When you’re raging, you can’t really think straight. You can only really focus on one thing. And so it’s really hard to be aware of your surroundings and the environment and stuff. So you can outsmart a Gaint when they’re raging pretty easy.”

Belladonna and Annielly nod in unison. “I see. I guess I never thought of that,” Belladonna continues, “Giants are just so intimidating when they rage.”

“Right. And if you let that stop you, you only play into their hand.” This talk of fighting brings me back to my days in training, and I can’t help but run my mouth. “Which is why I decided to look at every fight as if I could definitely win. I always knew I would never be the biggest and strongest, so I always had to come up with some other way to beat my opponents.”

Belladonna and Annielly look positively captivated. It excites me to have such a riveted audience; however, this excitement has distracted me from the point of the conversation. I cut myself off and try to refocus. “Anyway, that’s not important. We should really talk about where we’re headed next.”

I can see the reality of our circumstances hit the Sprites once again as they both sit back up against the cave wall.

Annielly speaks up for the first time in a while. “It’s gonna feel real strange going back home now,” she says.

“Why do you say that?” asks Belladonna, shooting her a concerned look.

“I donno. It just feels weird going back to society now. I don’t even know what I’d do with myself.” Annielly tilts her head down solemnly. “I guess that’s why so many Sprites are content to just stay…”

Belladonna joins Annielly in staring at the ground. She looks deep in contemplation. “Right. I was so surprised how… comfortable a lot of the Sprites in there looked. Like they had just accepted that this is what their life would always be.”

I try my best to break the tension. “Well, if you’re trying to get back home, I guess I can take you. I mean, after everything, I wouldn’t want to leave you stranded.” I think again about my fuel situation. I’m not sure how many more detours I can afford with the money I have. “If anything, I can get you close.”

Annielly brightens up immediately. She looks at me and smiles. “Are you serious? That would be incredible! Thank you!”

I scratch my neck. “No, it’s nothing. It would all be a waste if I just leave you somewhere they could just go-”

“What’s going to happen to the others?” Belladonna cuts in suddenly. Her head is still down, and I can’t see her eyes. But her tone is painfully serious. Both Annielly and I get quiet and focus our attention on her.

“The other Sprites,” she continues, “What’s going to happen to them?”

“What do you mean?” asks Anniely, “I don’t think they’ll get punished on my behalf. They don’t know that they were trying to help us anyway-”

“No, I mean, I went back for you…” Belladonna finally looks back up. Tears start to snake down her cheeks as she stares deep into Annielly’s eyes. “But the others. They were just like us once, right? Just taken from their homes, their lives? Who’s going to go back for them?”

Belladonna’s voice quakes, and Annielly and I are once again at a loss for a response.

Annielly’s voice cracks as she finally says, “There’s not much we can do for them.”

“Isn’t there?” The speed at which Belladonna came back with this seems to stun Annielly. I hang my head, as I can see now where this is going.

“If we could get you out, isn’t there a chance we can get the others, too?”

Annielly shakes her head. “All of them? Bella, you’re talking crazy right now. We barely got out ourselves. Are you saying you want to go back?!”

“But we have to do something, right? I mean, who else is going to help them?”

“Bella…” Annielly clearly has more thoughts, but her grief prevents her from voicing them. Tears stream down her face, and she sobs, clutching Belladonna’s arms.

“I know going back there is probably the last thing you’d want to do, but if there’s any chance, shouldn’t we take it?” Belladonna wraps her arms around her crying friend as she continues. “You’ve been in there for a while, so you know the layout. You know how and where the Sprites are held. And Teddy-”

Belladonna turns to me as if to include me in the conversation, but stops dead. She’s finally realized that her whole operation is dependent on my cooperation. She must see now how hasty she’s been to assume I would be open to lending my aid to such a dangerous prospect, without talking to me about it first.

I slowly lift eyes up to meet Belladonna’s. “Well, the last thing they’d expect would be for us to go back there...”

Belladonna silently gasps, and then her eyes brighten.

Annielly yanks on Belladonna’s arms, lifting her head, “Exactly! Bella, we can’t-”

She freezes mid-sentence, and then whips her head around to look at me, “Wait, what?! You’re not saying you...”

“See, Annie?! Teddy’s right! They’d never see us coming!”

Annielly’s lip quivers. She is still searching my expression for answers. “You… You can’t seriously be considering this.” I just sigh and shrug in response.

Belladonna grasps Annielly’s shoulders and pulls back her focus. “Look, Annie, I would hate to ask you to go back to that place. But you would be a huge help to us, and to all the other Sprites on the inside. But if you say you don’t want to do this, I’ll drop the whole thing.”

Annielly takes another long look at Belladonna and reads the sincerity in her expression. She then turns to face me once more. “Are you really okay with this? Risking everything just to help a few Sprites?”

I close my eyes, thinking hard. Finally I say, “I know that the Giants have been terrible to you. I can’t really justify anything that’s happened. But I really want to be better than that. And if you think there’s a way to rescue the Sprites in there, I’d like to help if I can.”

Belladonna pulls Annielly’s attention back to her once again. “So what do you think, Annie?”

Annielly lets out a few sharp breaths of laughter as her tears continue to well up and stream down her face. “Honestly, this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” Annielly wipes away a few tears, but it is futile. There is no stopping the flood that drains down her eyes now. “But if you really think you can do this, then I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

Belladonna beams and squeezes Annielly in a tight embrace.

TO BE CONTINUED…

[street-saint]

Giant Diaries, pt. 22

The three of us take cover in an alcove well off the main road. I fear the hummingbird might still be visible, but we camouflaged it as much as we could with old tree branches. Plus, they never got a good look at what we were escaping in, so we should be okay to lay low here for the time being.

“We should be safe here for now,” I say to the two Sprites.

Belladonna and her friend have been attached at the hip since we left the warehouse. From what I could tell, they were holding hands the whole ride here, despite the two foot gap between their seats on the hummingbird. And as I showed them to the alcove, they had their arms wrapped around each other as if helping the other walk.

I hand Belladonna my canteen. “Here,” I say. “For your face.”

Belladonna seems shocked at the mention of it. She gently brushes her fingers down the scratches on her forehead, and then pulls back her hand to see the blood smears. Luckily, it seems like only a surface wound.

“Thank you,” she says, taking the canteen. She pours some water out onto her hand and then uses it to wipe her face. When she is done, she hands back the canteen, giving me a nod. “What about you?”

I follow her gaze down to my hip. I had almost entirely forgotten about the burn on my side, despite my hand instinctively applying pressure to it. I pull away my hand for a moment to inspect the injury. The skin is discolored with reds, blacks, and purples. There is no bleeding, but it could easily be a second degree burn.

“It’s no big deal,” I say, as I slump down against the opposite cave wall. Now that we’re talking about it, I can feel the dull pain throbbing from the wound. A wave of exhaustion hits, and even just sitting here feels like I am exerting myself.

Belladonna leaves her friend’s side and steps over toward me. She gives my injury a look over as well, and then frowns. “Are you sure? It looks bad.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s nothing.” I wave her away weakly.

“Let me try and help at least.” Belladonna’s eyes look up from the wound and stare sharply into my own. I swallow hard and attempt to scoot further back into the wall behind me.

“What are you talking about?”

“Essence. It can dull the pain, right?”

I reflexively shake my head, searching Belladonna’s face for a sign of insincerity. However, she continues to stare unblinking. I try to catalog my brain for words, but I can’t find them.

“Wait… you can’t…”

“It’s okay, Teddy,” Belladonna says earnestly, “Just relax.” She reaches forward to grab hold of my arms to keep me from resisting. Her grip is firm. And though I could easily overpower her, her strength of will seems to keep me at bay. All I can bring myself to do is squirm a bit in her hands.

I know I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve her kindness, or her concern. Certainly not her essence. But I feel too weak to argue. Plus, my back is literally up against a wall.

Belladonna closes her eyes and leans into me. My body tenses up and freezes in place. I can already smell the essence exuding from her. Like I can sense it within her. I did not know that was a thing I could do. She leans in ever closer. Her nose now only an inch away from my own.

Belladonna’s body quivers a bit, and I also grab hold of her petite arms as she still clutches my own. Her whole body suddenly seems to glow with a dull, bluish white. For the second time, I see a cloud of essence begin to escape from her pores and hang in the air around her.

I close my own eyes, reluctantly accepting Belladonna’s offering. I take a long, deep breath in through my nose, and I can feel my lungs tingle with warmth. The feeling enters through my lungs, but quickly spreads to the tips of my fingers and toes. I can feel my whole body shudder like Belladonna’s did, as my muscles seem to relax and disengage. I feel all of the tension within me dissipate, and I can no longer feel Belladonna in my hands. I can’t even feel my back against the wall behind me. It is as if I am floating in a bubble of security. The edges of my lips curve up in a smile by themselves, and I take another deep breath.

As a Giant, I have heard many myths about Sprites and essence. I’ve heard that it is better than any drug. I heard that it could cure wounds. That it could eradicate feelings of anxiety or depression. That it could allow you to see visions of the future. I’ve always known that most of these were exaggerations and tall tales, but I had never experienced it for myself. And I thought I never would. I avoided essence because I thought it would turn me into a monster, like it has done with so many other Giants I’ve known. I only accepted Shyrin’s inhaler because I knew it was a mere fraction of the strength of pure essence.

I understand plainly now why Giants covet essence. The feeling of Belladonna in my hands. The gracious look on her face. This sensation of lightness. The utter euphoria. It would be impossible to recreate this feeling. It is easily the best I have felt in my entire life.

My body convulses once again, and I force open my eyes. I am once again in the alcove. Belladonna hovers over me with a smile on her face. I can’t help but smile back. In this moment, she is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. Her face seems to glow, and I can’t tell if it is just the essence high making me see things.

Whatever it takes, I will keep her safe. I would gladly lay down my life to see her smile like this again.

TO BE CONTINUED…

[street-saint]

Giant Diaries, pt. 21

My heart is racing as all of the Sprites line up to walk back to their stations. Annielly has already left the room, and I am to meet her on my way out. At this point, I know where I am supposed to go, and what to do, but the thought of messing up somewhere and getting caught looms over my head.

It’s bad enough I get myself captured here, but if I get Annielly and the others in trouble…

I furiously shake this thought from my mind.

No. I can do this. We can do this!

As I approach the exit to the break room, I pass two of the Giants I’ve seen overseeing the Sprites. They do not seem to pay any particular attention to me, and I avoid eye contact.

I take a swift turn toward the east of the warehouse where I had earlier found the crates of essence. I follow behind a few other Sprites who I assume are actually tasked with inspecting these crates.

I crane my neck searching for any sign of Annielly, when I accidentally bump into one of the Sprites in front of me. I jump backwards, giving her space. I realize that it was not just me being careless; she actually stopped to confront me.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” I say.

The Sprite gives me a nasty glare, “Who exactly are you?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Who are you, I said! You’re not supposed to be here,” she sneers.

“Oh, well I’m new, but I’m supposed to be checking the crates…”

“That’s impossible,” snaps the Sprite. She gestures to the four other Sprites who were walking with her. They have all now stopped to observe this scene. “We do all the inspections. No newbie would be assigned to this job anyway.”

I swallow hard. I was not expecting to get such resistance from another Sprite.

What do I say?

“I’m sorry. I don’t really know, they just told me-”

“Impossible.” She is getting worked up. Her volume increases as she speaks. “What is your name?”

“Uh… Biel…”

“Listen here, Biel. You better turn around and find your pod before I call one of the overseers.”

The panic starts to set in. This is the moment I feared would happen.

Should I just run for it? No way I could make it to the exit with all of them blocking me.

Just then, another figure approaches from my periphery. The feeling of suffocation leaves me as I see that it is Annielly confidently striding towards us.

“What’s going on?” Annielly asks in an even tone. I am ever amazed by her resolve under pressure.

The Sprite in front of me turns and snaps at her instead. “None of your business! Who are you?”

“I’m Emai. This is Biel. I’m responsible for her.”

“Is that right? Well you better tell her to go back to her pod before the overseers find her.”

Annielly does a slight bow. “My apologies. We got separated for a moment. I think she was just confused.”

The Sprite huffs. “Well, fine then. Just keep your eye on her next time. Don’t let it happen again.”

The Sprite and her associates begin to walk away, though at a slowed pace. The leader occasionally looks over her shoulder at us as they go.

In the meantime, this incident has definitely attracted the attention of some of the overseers, and out of the corner of my eye I see the frame of a hulking Giant making their way over to us.

I frantically whisper to Annielly, “What do we do?!”

“We have to run,” she says. And then, “Do you have some way to get out of the desert?”

I nod. “I have a friend waiting outside.”

To my surprise, Annielly seems unfazed by my answer. I figured she would at least be curious who this friend was, but I guess that she is more focused on our immediate situation.

She places a firm hand on my shoulder and leads me away toward the northeast, in the opposite direction of the Giant following us.

Annielly leans in to whisper, “On my signal, we make a break for the doors.” She then does a slight nod in the direction of the garage doors from which I initially entered.

Just then, I hear a scream from behind us. A chill runs down my spine, and I instinctively whip my head around.

In the distance, I see the familiar face of Evie and her friend who was introduced to us as “E'yess.” Evie collapses to the ground as E'yess begins to call out for assistance. I can see one of the nearby Giant overseers make their way over to them.

However, I am turned away from the scene by Annielly’s forceful grip. She spins me around and gives me a push forward, “Now!” she calls, and I can feel my legs begin to run beneath me as if on their own.

The two of us sprint south, right for the garage doors. My mind is completely blank, and it’s all I can do but focus on the light of the sun on the outside.

What feels like a mere moment later, I am leaping off the ledge of the loading dock and crashing with a thud onto the dirt below me. I misjudge the distance of the fall and tumble onto my face. I taste blood and dust in my mouth, and for the moment I can see only blackness.

I feel the firm hands of Annielly lift me to my feet, and give me another shove forward. My legs once again move on their own as I fight to wipe the dust from my eyes. I am comforted by the feeling of Annielly’s hand on my back, guiding me through the blur of the desert ahead.

She then hugs me from behind and wrenches me backwards to a hard stop. I cough and wheeze, trying to catch my breath despite the dirt in my throat. I pass my hand over my eyes to get just enough of my vision back to see the reason for the abrupt stop.

Before us stand the figures of three Giants, all wielding the same ominous metal rods I had seen carried inside the warehouse. Both Annielly and I are frozen in place as it seems our only exit is now completely cut off.

I pass my tongue over my bottom lip and taste more blood. The searing pain from my fall suddenly catches up to me and my eyes well up with tears. I do my best to hold firm.

Behind us, I hear the sound of heavy footfalls, which I assume to be one of the Giants inside catching up to us.

This is it. It’s over.

Annielly says nothing. Neither do the Giants ahead of us. They simply smirk, and brandish their weapons.

I hear what sounds like a pop in the distance, and one of the Giants buckle and stumble over. I see blood gush from her leg as she hits the ground on her side.

Those of us still standing turn toward the fence surrounding the warehouse. Quickly approaching is the image of a Giant with a long rod in her hands that she holds on her shoulder like a rifle.

“TEDDY!” I call out.

Teddy does not react to my voice. Instead she fires another pulse of energy from the weapon in her hands. I whip my head around as the beam of yellow energy strikes the Giant behind us in the arm. The metal rod in her hand flies upward as her body spirals to the ground.

Teddy, without breaking stride, passes her harpoon into her left hand. She leaps up and collides with the fence in front of her, using her free hand to grab hold. In one swift motion, she uses her momentum to flip over the top of the fence, landing with a thud onto the dusty ground on our side of the enclosure.

The two Giants in front of Annielly and me respond by activating their weapons. The tips of the metal rods in their hands spark and pulse with a violent blue crackle of energy. Both of their faces quickly go red with Rage as they charge toward Teddy.

Teddy squeezes the button in the center of her harpoon. With a twist, the weapon changes shape and extends into an even longer shaft. The same I’d seen her wield against Wick in Owariella.

With a spin of her staff, Teddy deflects the strike of one of the Giants, twisting away from the attack of the second. Teddy does a low sweep of the staff to knock the second Giant’s feet from under her, and she crashes face down into the dirt.

Without hesitation, Teddy charges forward toward the first Giant, who turns around just in time to catch the end of Teddy’s staff right across her jaw. The Giant spins and lands with a thud into the dirt as well.

The Giant who was previously hit in the leg by the shot from Teddy’s harpoon, roughly gets back to her feet. She activates her weapon, and lunges toward Teddy, who still faces away.

The Giant is so quick, that I barely have time to shout, “Teddy! Look out!”

Unfortunately, I am too late. Teddy spins to face her attacker, but the Giant connects with the tip of her weapon against Teddy’s side. The spark of blue energy shoots up Teddy’s whole body like an electrical current. She winces in pain, and I stumble forward, trying to close the distance between us.

Teddy, in a moment of strength, swings the tip of her harpoon in an upward arc toward her attacker’s face. The staff strikes the Giant hard in the jaw, causing her to stumble back. Once again free to move, Teddy swings the harpoon one final time across the Giant’s face. Her body limply collapses to the ground, just as I manage to reach Teddy. I am close enough now to see the hole burnt into her clothes, and the charred and bruised wound just above her hip.

Despite her injury, Teddy retracts the ends of her harpoon staff, spins it up over her head, and slides it into its harness on her back in one swift motion.

“Quick. We got to go.”

This charges me with resolve. I turn to see Annielly is still frozen in place, seemingly processing what just transpired before her. I rush back over to grab her hand, and this time it is me doing the leading.

“Come on! Let’s go!”

TO BE CONTINUED…