straycrumbonthefloor

[straycrumbonthefloor]

A trading card game but it’s just me in IKEA with a really strong laminator

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Sleep deprivation is a helluva drug

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Maybe it’s Maybelline

But MAYBE it’s also naptime

Goodnight

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“Have fun”? Oh you mean drown in the absence of fun when it’s over? Ha no thanks

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I’d smash, but like in a platonic way

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I am a snail and disintegrate immediately

“Now, best be careful with that line of rock salt right there. It’s the only thing keeping them out,” the man warned as he welcomed me into his refuge group. “Sea salt,” I clarified, “It’s sea salt that’s keeping us out.”

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Haha look it’s me when I dropped mY GOD DAMN CEREAL ITS ON THE FLOOR IM SO HUNGRY WHYY

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Anything is possible if the author is horny enough

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Someone make a post that says like ‘orchestras in 2020’ and then the picture is a normal orchestra but there’s masks on all the wood winds and brass. I think that’d be funny

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Called my dog a foot-stepping toe-monster after he stepped on my foot

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All my pictures are 60-FPS, they’re just all one sixtieth of a second

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My last two posts got 4 notes. Tumblr funny compilations on YouTube here I come

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But like remember in Hamilton when he cheated on his wife and everyone agreed that he couldn’t possibly be president after such a scandle? What happened?

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Refered to my bed as the sleep sleep nap nap zone

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A large group of amgry humans is called a fuck you

Me_irl

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A large group of horny humans is called a fuck me

Me_irl

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I came out of the closet because it’s scary in there.