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Leo loves his flower crowns | by leo.mainecoon

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Dead and Rad

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Where to begin with all this

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gosh but like we spent hundreds of years looking up at the stars and wondering “is there anybody out there” and hoping and guessing and imagining

because we as a species were so lonely and we wanted friends so bad, we wanted to meet other species and we wanted to talk to them and we wanted to learn from them and to stop being the only people in the universe

and we started realizing that things were maybe not going so good for us– we got scared that we were going to blow each other up, we got scared that we were going to break our planet permanently, we got scared that in a hundred years we were all going to be dead and gone and even if there were other people out there, we’d never get to meet them

and then

we built robots?

and we gave them names and we gave them brains made out of silicon and we pretended they were people and we told them hey you wanna go exploring, and of course they did, because we had made them in our own image

and maybe in a hundred years we won’t be around any more, maybe yeah the planet will be a mess and we’ll all be dead, and if other people come from the stars we won’t be around to meet them and say hi! how are you! we’re people, too! you’re not alone any more!, maybe we’ll be gone

but we built robots, who have beat-up hulls and metal brains, and who have names; and if the other people come and say, who were these people? what were they like?

the robots can say, when they made us, they called us discovery; they called us curiosity; they called us explorer; they called us spirit. they must have thought that was important.

and they told us to tell you hello.

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Jurassic Congress

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Grading my 3rd graders papers and I see this 😭

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The Pennsylvania Ballet shared the following Facebook post

Pennsylvania Ballet

“A Facebook user recently commented that the Eagles had “played like they were wearing tutus!!!” Our response: “With all due respect to the Eagles, let’s take a minute to look at what our tutu wearing women have done this month: By tomorrow afternoon, the ballerinas that wear tutus at Pennsylvania Ballet will have performed The Nutcracker 27 times in 21 days. Some of those women have performed the Snow scene and the Waltz of the Flowers without an understudy or second cast. No ‘second string’ to come in and spell them when they needed a break. When they have been sick they have come to the theater, put on make up and costume, smiled and performed. When they have felt an injury in the middle of a show there have been no injury timeouts. They have kept smiling, finished their job, bowed, left the stage, and then dealt with what hurts. Some of these tutu wearers have been tossed into a new position with only a moments notice. That’s like a cornerback being told at halftime that they’re going to play wide receiver for the second half, but they need to make sure that no one can tell they’ve never played wide receiver before. They have done all of this with such artistry and grace that audience after audience has clapped and cheered (no Boo Birds at the Academy) and the Philadelphia Inquirer has said this production looks “better than ever”. So no, the Eagles have not played like they were wearing tutus. If they had, Chip Kelly would still be a head coach and we’d all be looking forward to the playoffs.“ Happy New Year!”

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my aunt talking about her outdoor cats: if they die a few years early because I let them out, so be it

me: -_____________________________-

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How to smuggle a 2-liter into a movie theater

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why limit yourself between choosing between a pretty feminine aesthetic or a dark one? if persephone can be the goddess of spring & queen of the underworld at the same time so can you

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It happened again

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doctors: GOOD NEWS EVERYONE we have found a treatment for diabetes it’s called insulin! people won’t die from this illness anymore if we just give them insulin isn’t this great news?

united states of america: how about we make it so poor people have either limited to zero access to this insulin?

doctors: but don’t we have enough resources to provide for everyone in need of such a medication?

the united states of america: yes!

doctors: isn’t that genocide

united states of america: YES

united states of america fist pumping and chanting ‘U’ ‘S’ ‘A’:

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Your purpose in life is not to love yourself but to love being yourself.

If you goal is to love yourself, then your focus is directed inward toward yourself, and you end up constantly watching yourself from the outside, disconnected, trying to summon the “correct” feelings towards yourself or fashion yourself into something you can approve of.

If your goal is to love being yourself, then your focus is directed outward towards life, on living and making decisions based on what brings you pleasure and fulfillment.

Be the subject, not the object. It doesn’t matter what you think of yourself. You are experiencing life. Life is not experiencing you.

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i present the formula for creating excellent/strange insults:

adjective + curse word + noun

no one asked for your opinion, you abominable shit goblin

i fail to understand how you’ve become such a reprehensible fuck waffle

get out of my way, you sorry excuse for an intolerable ass pastry

i cannot believe that such an illiterate twat truck could ever be remotely polite

maybe if you weren’t such a troublesome goddamn elbow, we could get some things done around here