strangevamp

[strangevamp]

mr migraine. my me a grain

make it the hurtest of my stupid brain

[strangevamp]

i go to bars and coffee shops and breweries and libraries and thrift stores all the time by myself and i have a chill banger time i love my own company. so why is the grocery store a warzone. im fighting for my life. barely make it out alive. if someone even looks at me i want to blow them up with my mind

[strangevamp]

I'm not constantly sticking the needle on my fingers because I'm shit at sewing by hand. I'm microdosing stab wounds to develop an immunity to daggers.

[strangevamp]

Switching between these every day

[strangevamp]

my biggest talent is never looking like the same person in different pictures. i can not perceived as a whole, i only exist in fragments that will never align the same way again. the stars want to be like me.

[strangevamp]

What, the forest-dwelling entities with imperfect human mimicry who insinuate themselves into groups of hikers? Yeah, we had one of those. Clocked it immediately, of course. Honestly it kind of fell in that so-inept-it's-kind-of-charming range. We just played along until it'd had it's fill of marshmallows and shambled back into the treeline. We might have been violating some kind of killjoy wildlife contact best practices but what the hell, can't plan around every little thing. Why, what happened to you guys

[strangevamp]

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

[strangevamp]

people using the I’m just a girl song for their little videos but making them short enough to crop out the part of gwen stephani yelling that’s all you’ll let me be

[strangevamp]

[strangevamp]

As an alternative to 'sugar, spice, and everything nice'

I present: 'salt, vinegar, and everything sinister'

[strangevamp]

[strangevamp]

fat character who becomes a vampire and loses a ton of weight and blood can not sate their hunger but they can't eat anything they used to like anymore. everyone views it as a positive healthy positive development but they're starving and dying slowly but never truly dying, a living corpse. this is a metaphor for something

[strangevamp]

I don't want my cellphone to have AI I want it to have 3 days of battery time. I don't want my computer to have AI preinstalled I want it to have seven usb ports and high ram at affordable price. I don't want my games to have AI built levels I want them to be so optimized I could run them on a nokia.

[strangevamp]

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

[strangevamp]

i’m a clove of garlic and God is crushing me under a knife so i add flavour to the soup

[strangevamp]

Sometimes little pleasures in life are loadbearing. Whenever someone is like "If you'd just give up tea and coffee and sugar and--" im like I'll stop you right there. Because if you finish that sentence i am going to kill everyone in this building and then myself. If i have to face the horrors of the world without my little jar of caramel flavoured instant coffee i am going to go full American Psycho. Believe it or not, my main priority in life is not to have perfect teeth or be an Olympic athlete or look like a supermodel, but to actually enjoy living, because I spent far too long not doing that and it royally sucked. And boy, some people don't like hearing that. Particularly dentists

[strangevamp]

the temptation every time there’s heavy rainfall to just go out on the street and