strangers-story

[strangers-story]

The blankets.

The first time. Underneath the blankets. Touching and a peck. The beginning of what would haunt me for years and years and even more after it all. Soon, at only 5 or 6, having a penis above my vagina. The only safety I had is their age. Being only 9 or 10, they knew it must go in but did not know it was lower. This is the only thing that saved me.

[strangers-story]

I remember

I remember like it was yesterday. I remember us talking. I remember you saying it was okay. I remember being curious but scared and hesitant. You told me to do it. You told me it was okay - except it never was. I was scared.

You wanted me youthful lips around you, but all I could muster was a terrified kiss. A peck. No where near your desires.

It slowly began to haunt me.

And then I turned to them. I was lost, scared, guilty, ashamed. I remember just wanting to get it out. I remember crying, but they said I already told them - they didn't need to hear more. Maybe that's what they needed. Maybe they needed to hear more. Maybe their actions and mine could've changed the outcomes. And yet until tonight - I never thought that way. Crying, making myself sick at maybe six years old. I couldn't live with what happened. I needed to tell them. But they didn't listen.

[strangers-story]

Ideal baby?

I was...

I was the ideal baby. Quiet, slept well, no complications, later on taught myself how to read, potty training went okay, talked a little "late" but spoke well....so...what went wrong?

[strangers-story]

Generation Z - I was born