storywhisper

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i know nothing about magic the gathering but im going insane over the text of the new emet-selch/hades cards

he transforms when there are 14 or more cards in the graveyard… he brings back cards from the graveyard but permanently destroys anything NEW that would have otherwise gone into it in exchange, wrecking the future to try to drag the past forward, in the end just putting it all further out of reach… absolutely incredible translation of a character into a card game mechanic 10/10 im gnawing at my furniture again

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Legit I never realize when people are actually flirting with me.

I mean, today I got the vibes towards the end, because what sales guy offers to come to my house if I have any problems with the stupidly expensive PC set up I bought.

Also showing me a picture of his set up and me realizing he had one of the monitors that costs more than most PCs.

But really, being ace, I legit just never realize that people think romantically when they're being overly nice. I just assume they're being nice because... why not?

That might be the autism mixed in. You know, adding flavor to the misunderstandings. I can never shop at that Walmart again. He's gonna ask if he sees me and I must disappear into the void.

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Recent FFXIV commission. Thancred & Urianger. Best dads!

Commissions will be reopened next week btw!

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You still have a lot of time to make yourself be what you want.

S.E. Hinton / The Outsiders

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I love talking nonsense with you and I hope that we can talk nonsense with each other for the rest of our lives.

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“How do you move on? You move on when your heart finally understands that there is no turning back.”

— J.R.R. Tolkien

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the quietude of things, tathev simonyan

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You were not born to pay bills, lose sleep, and answer emails. You were born to romanticize your life and make questionable decisions.

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Lol every time I get tagged in MTP stuff I have this instant reaction of being like, wait people are still into that?

Anyway, for anyone stumbling on this blog. I'm not very active on here. I occasionally reblog pretty pictures or silly stuff.

I do not write fanfic anymore, my life is pretty busy these days, and writing is exhausting.

Sometimes I post musing about my life etc or my cats.

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You know, I think the one thing I wish I'd known years ago when I first started to actually try and treat my mental health, is that the first medicine you try may actually not work.

Long musing beneath the break

See, I was put on one medicine and the doctor I was seeing at the time didn't want to deviate from it. It worked for most people, so obviously it should work for me.

When it didn't, he added medicine.

The result was me feeling like an absolute zombie. One who still dealt with their shit mental health, but a completely unmotivated one.

So removing the zombie medicine happened. And then nothing. I was just so tired that I basically accepted that this was all medicine could do for me. This was apparently the closest to normal I'd ever get.

Last year I had some health scares, so I decided finally to just get my shit together and start actually seeing a doctor again.

First appointment, I felt like she actually listened to my problems. And she gave me a new medicine to try, that wasn't for depression, but for anxiety.

Because she realized that I wasn't depressed, I was anxious and scared to actually live my life.

She gave me a second medicine for panic attacks, and finally a third tmo use for my migraines. S

It was the first time in my adult life that someone actually listened and didn't tell me that all my problems could be solved if I just lost weight.

She actually suggested medicine for weight loss (my insurance veoted that. I'd be spending 650 a month if I decided to do it).

I've been on the medicine for just over a month now. And every day I'm left going - wait... is this how normal people feel every day?

I literally don't think I've ever felt like this before. I feel happier, like a weight is off my shoulders. I don't dread everything, the world isn't (in my head) ending if something doesn't go right.

I can take the other medicine when I'm putting myself in a situation that's outside my comfort zone.

I went to a huge anime con and actually didn't mind the crowds. It was annoying but no panic attacks.

I'm going to a female doctor for the first time in years, and I think I'll be okay there too. Despite my major issues with being touched.

I have a dentist apt scheduled after that. And I'm not scared.

Normal is strange. I lived with anxiety pretty much my entire life. Letting go and living without it is so strange.

I wish younger me had known it was okay to get help. I feel like I would've been a lot happier if I'd just known that you didn't have to live afraid all the time.

One day when I finally sit down to write about my life, I'm gonna have a good laugh over the fact that it took 35 damn years to figure out how normal felt.

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I'm trying to be just a skeleton but there's some conflict or other I can't figure out with the mod so I'm stuck as a skeleton in panties???

edit: Yes this is ffxiv and yes I did resolve the issue

She’s living her best afterlife

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Some carbies, probably plotting trouble.

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I'm laughing way too hard right now at "what a terrible day to have eyes"

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creating a world in my head where they’re canon

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“I am a different person to different people. Annoying to one. Talented to another. Quiet to a few. Unknown to a lot. But who am I, to me?”

— Unknown

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“Be softer with you. You are a breathing thing. A memory to someone. A home to a life.”

— Nayyirah Waheed