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Hello everyone, I have a treat for you all! I am happy to announce that @n1ct3 and I have collaborated to make a Vlad TTS voice on uberduck.ai!!!

After tediously extracting and cleaning 300+ Vlad lines from the show, you guys are now granted the power make him say “fuck” or whatever nasty thing you want !!! go nuts 

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More fae trivia: Changelings are, as the name might suggest, extremely capable of shapeshifting and mimicry, a knack colloquially referred to simply as "changing".

This ability serves them quite well early in life to better adapt to their environmental conditions, but the ability fades over time as it becomes less imminently-vital. Once you've figured out what you need to in order to get by, you seldom have cause to change further, after all. So they pick up the things they need early in life, like the right number of limbs and fingers and such, the right tolerances and sensitivities, the right speech patterns, the right social behaviours to not get them yelled at too much, etc. etc. and gradually their form settles into a more rigid equilibrium.

As a result, most adult changelings can only shapeshift in minor ways, if at all.

An influx of magic can give them a much-needed kick to pull off a reasonably-significant changing however, and a lot of them use this capacity to fine-tune things more to their matured likings.

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It's that time again where I need to restock the medication that the NHS won't give me unless I stay on a waiting list indefinitely to ultimately be asked about my masturbation habits and then, a year plus later, maybe be given the same meds for free.

I have been on that waiting list since before the pandemic, for frame of reference. Legally, I can't be made to wait more than 18 weeks. Instead I've waited 280 weeks.

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If anyone has taken their eyes off what's happening to federal workers in the US right now, here's some highlights that we're hearing from our comrades across the government who have not yet been fired:

In one building (hosting multiple agencies), the locks on the bathroom were changed so employees no longer have any access to a bathroom during the workday. People are peeing in trash cans.

Elsewhere, multiple agencies have reported that hand soap is no longer being supplied in the bathrooms.

Toilet paper supplies have not been adjusted to meet the needs of a vastly increased number of in-office employees.

Employee-owned coffee and coffee makers have been stolen or thrown away without notice (it was already illegal for taxpayer dollars to be spent on supplying federal employees with amenities like coffee, so many offices have coffee supplied by pooled employee funds).

Meanwhile, many offices don't even have potable drinking water (recurrent legionella outbreaks), so employees have to bring their own water from home.

Despite an explosion in the number of workers in offices, cleaning budgets have been slashed and many offices are not being cleaned regularly enough to remain sanitary. Pests like roaches and rats are a problem.

The firings continue, legal and illegal. Entire programs are being cut. Managers have no idea when they might lose staff. Employees are getting fired at 6pm on a weekend or finding out when they're unable to log into their computer or when they receive a shipping label in the mail to return their equipment.

Through all of this, the DOGE employees in federal workplaces are enjoying incredible and expensive luxury: AI-powered sleep pods, entire dormitories so they can live in federal buildings, nurseries for their children on site, free food and beverages, laundry services, and who knows what else. They have special security to restrict access to their areas of the buildings, including armed guards.

And I'm not just saying this to lament how bad it is for federal workers. I'm saying this because, as workers are reporting this to one another, the response is, inevitably: "This is illegal." "Yes, but who would I report it to? OPM? They're a DOGE puppet. OSHA? They've cut OSHA. The Inspectors General? Cut. The NLRB? Cut. My union? No longer recognized."

There is no one left to enforce these laws, so taking away access to basic sanitation is now effectively legal. They are doing this to federal workers, who historically have been some of the best-protected workers in the country. They are doing this specifically because it demonstrates to the public sector that it is now legal to do these things to their own workers.

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for no reason whatsoever here’s a reminder that if you consider yourself a leftist/punk/abolitionist/anarchist/radical in any sort of way and get called into jury duty, you are to become the most square person on earth during the jury questionnaire!!!

don’t be that guy who says fuck the police in the jury questionnaire! that just gets you sent home! if you want to generate change, interact with the case and use your jury vote for good! ESPECIALLY if it’s a high profile case!

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There's a progress flag in the window of my favorite book store. It's been there for years. It's there year-round. It's the reason why it's my favorite book store. It's so comforting to know you're welcome somewhere

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My medication stocks are getting to within a month left and the fund has been (relatively) quiet lately so here's your reminder that my entire transition is crowdfunded and if I run out entirely I get to experience the wondrous cocktail of Symptoms™ that is premature menopause for a second time.

So please consider either donating or spreading the word, or both, as is reasonably within your personal capacities.

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My medication stocks are getting to within a month left and the fund has been (relatively) quiet lately so here's your reminder that my entire transition is crowdfunded and if I run out entirely I get to experience the wondrous cocktail of Symptoms™ that is premature menopause for a second time.

So please consider either donating or spreading the word, or both, as is reasonably within your personal capacities.

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So.

Another 751 unmarked graves were found at a Saskatchewan residential school.

Seven hundred fifty one.

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so can we start hunting down white liberals now or what

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37 people were illegally detained in Bellingham, Washington for the ‘crime’ of speaking Spanish. This is so fucking inhumane and cruel

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You ever think too hard about Minecraft and start gnawing drywall

(reference)

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the og post was way too long so I'm making a new one

thanks for the tag @lombolica !! :D

You're stuck in a room with the last character in your gallery how safe are you

very safe

the worst thing that could happen is him being clumsy, so I think I'm alright (unless monsters find him I guess)

tagging (no pressure): @flaretheidiot @lemonic-whimssyy @wibbly-wobbly-blog @cryptidanathema @virtualunease @aurlworthfightingfor @angrysheep @sugarplumanderson @time-travelling-chaos @fateisnotafactor @monstrousmaws @sinfulauthor @idkaguyorsomething @vampireopossum and anyone who wants to do this!

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these tags that someone left on my nether post. these tags.

Who are we, the player, to say that the nether is unfit for life? Who are we to look into the roiling fire and infinite redness, to name it hell? Who do we think we are? It wasn't meant for us. We got here by passage of magic, to a world we weren't built to live in, weren't created to survive.

We look upon the creatures we see and call them vile. We gaze across the land and call it dangerous. Everything, everywhere, can hurt us, so by nature, the nether must be evil... right?

Before you came, the striders carry their children on their backs. The wither skeleton stand guard of their own fortresses. The ghast waft about their own sky. But they know you are different. They know you are Wrong, and your Wrongness leads you to tear what they know apart, and when they fight it's only fit that you see them as evil.

The nether is hell. But it is only hell for us.

[You may not sleep now, there are monsters nearby.]

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Dear Cousy

Hello! How’s the weather?

I don’t know if your a Minecraft fan but I need to know your opion on Enderman Biology. My brain keeps telling me that as primordial agents of entropy they just DONT have biology but that seems boring and you are the best Spec Bio person I know I need answers

Respectfully Frantic

-Clever-Naming-Convention

As always the weather is cloudy!! I am indeed a Minecraft fan though I’ve never really done biology for it so bear with me!(and sorry for the late reply!)

Let’s get right into it!

Why do Endermen hate water?

So this really puzzled me at first, and I was kinda scratching my head for a bit honestly, until I thought about it a little more.

See the Endermen are supposed to be uncanny, enough like what we know to be familiar and yet unsettling enough to scare us. Fundamentally they’re unlike us.

So I added one and one together and realized that hey, what if Enderment were NOT carbon based lifeforms?

And wouldn’t you know it, when you add water to silicon it creates silica, which , notably, would destroy the organic molecules that silicon can create.

So, to answer the question, Endermen hate water—and take damage from it— because exposure to it literally starts turning them into glass. Really makes you wonder about the end pillars doesn’t it…

Moving on: What do they eat

Despite being found around end ships and end cities, it’s clear our lanky pals didn’t build them. Yet we know they can pick up and move blocks and tend to do so with some frequency in the overworld(and nether). So what’s that about?

We’ve got a couple options here, but my favorite of the bunch is that this is part of how these fellas eat. See it would track that being silicone based life Endermen would need to absorb minerals and such in order to survive, this could by the reason behind why they pick up and then place down blocks.

Essentially they’re absorbing the silicone and other necessary components from those blocks and then setting them aside when they’re done.

Adding to this I also wonder if they might be radiotrophic, that is, using radiation to feed. This is largely based on the ends resemblance to space, which has a much higher amount of radiation than on earth meaning it would be far more viable as an energy source under those conditions

Also some earth fungi do actually use radiation like this, and wouldn’t you know it, they’re generally black because of how they use melanin to safely process said radiation into useful forms.

The Endermen could very well be doing the same thing with a silicon based equivalent pigment.

this would also explain why we never see them eating in game.

Long story short, Endermen use radiation and minerals from blocks they pick up(absorbed through openings in their carapace on their hands) to survive. But cloudy, I hear you asking, what about the chorus fruits? Don’t worry, we’ll get there, and it’ll be far more horrifying than expected.

Next up: Of Men and Mites:

So what the hell is the deal with endermites?

Obviously they parasitize endermen, that’s their whole deal. But seemingly there aren’t really any negative side effects for the men explaining why they had the mites, again aside from parasites being gross.

Well, what if I told you that endermites are why we have ender pearls!

See when an endermite infects an enderman they instinctually head for the reproductive organs, where they begin to dissolve the spore-glands(we’ll get to that in a bit) and begin making cocoons where they will lay their eggs. These eggs eventually develop into larval endermites which burrow out of the enderman when fully grown to start the cycle again.

This renders the enderman infertile(and leaves chemical traces letting other mites know they aren’t a suitable host anymore) hence why they hate endermites.

However if and enderman is kill before these eggs can hatch, well, they don’t exactly survive outside of an appropriate host, and boom. Enderpearls. Incidentally these pearls still retain the larval mites ability to teleport, which we make great use of, at the expense of dealing with fragments of enderman ovaries/endermite egg casings damaging us when we teleport.

Also the fact we can get at most 4 pearls from an enderman tells us they’ve got four spore glands

To recap: Ender pearls are endermite eggs and occur when a mite infects and Enderman and dissolves it’s spore glands/ovaries.

So, about those spores:

Endermen are much like the common fern

yeah, so what the fuck do I mean by that?

I mean that they have two adult reproductive stages.

Stage 1: is the Endermen we know and love, and stage two is the Chorus fruit.

Adult sexually mature enderman will release spores that float through the end island on the breeze until they they find a place to take hold and root. Generally large groups of Endermen will all release their spores in synch, sorta like how corals spawn when the moon is full.

Once rooted these spores begin growing into Chorus fruits, which are occasionally predated upon by Shulkers, though generally it’s the stems of the “plant?” that they consume.

Once matured, a Chorus plant produces flowers, which are then cross-pollinated to ensure genetic diversity. Once this is achieved Chorus fruits are produced, which given time will form a large shell/egg like husk from which a fully formed adult enderman will eventually emerge. Think of butterflies and their chrysalis.

Interestingly the Endermen actually serve a role similar to butterflies, see because in their Chorus plant stage Endermen are immobile they can’t relocate or ensure the survival of their genes if conditions worsen.

By producing Endermen who then range far away from their home forests they ensure their genes survive and increase genetic diversity as a whole. This also explains why Endermen are capable of extremely fast movement/teleportation. Their only job is to get as far away as possible.

Basically, Endermen are fucked up silicon based ferns, and they attack you when you look at them because they mistake you(or not) as a threat to their ability to spread their spores. Also eating chorus fruit means you ate baby Endermen.

Wow! This really ran away for me, thanks for the cool ask @clever-naming-convention!! I’ll definitely be doing more with this cause I’ve got more thoughts

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AO3 Collections Advice

just a gentle reminder to say that i do not, and will never, accept unsolicited invitations to add my fics to collections on ao3. doing so gives the owner of the collection power over my work - they can then make the work anonymous without my consent, or even hide it from view entirely on ao3. whilst i can undo this by removing the work from the collection, i prefer not to take the risk of this happening and me not noticing and ending up with a missing/uncredited fic

readers: using collections as a “i’ve read this and i liked it” list is a poor use of the many, many features ao3 gives you to save and rec stuff. what you are looking for instead is ao3′s bookmarks feature! you can make a bookmark of a work (they even have specific bookmark types for recs!), and then add that bookmark to a collection without any of the issues i mentioned above (i.e. if you make the collection anonymous/hidden, it won’t affect the bookmarked work). you don’t even need author permission to do add a bookmark to a collection! and probably the authors will be delighted because, hey, more exposure without any risk of to work. using collections this way is a good use of collections, especially if you label them clearly (e.g. “the best of dsmp h/c fic”, rather than “ouoguguh hurty”), and is of huge benefit to the fandom community at large because it helps people find recs!

also, even if you’re going to ignore everything else i’ve said here, you should absolutely not be trying to add author’s works to collections titled “okay fics” or “fics that are a solid 5/10″. i will get an email telling me you are trying to do this, letting me know exactly what you think of my work just the same as if you’d left a rude comment. if you do this with an author who is on auto-accept, every other person who reads that fic will see that collection title just below the fic’s tags. if you want to remind yourself to avoid a fic, use a private bookmark; you can tag that with whatever you want because it’s between you and god. just don’t be a dick in public, please.

even with collections that don’t have derogatory titles, this is still worth thinking about; do authors really want “subtext is buttsex spelled differently!” in all caps or “uwu squirm worm” on their work? probably not. i get emails trying to invite me to collections like this maybe once a week, and it is phenomenally annoying (though, self-admittedly, i’m a grumpy old bastard). more importantly, it also makes your collections functionally useless to anyone other than yourself - no one is searching for “worm” or “buttsex” when they are trying to find collections of good fics. a clearly-titled collection that gives you a good idea of what’s in it, whilst less funny to you personally, turns it from a personal list into a community resource!

other authors: you, also, should probably not be allowing random people to add your works to collections. by default, people should have to request permission to; (if you’ve changed that to auto-accept, you can change it back by doing the opposite of the instructions here), and i would strongly suggest rejecting unsolicited requests. anyone who’s not e.g. the the trusted admin of an event/challenge/etc. who is running a collection for those purposes should not have control over your work’s visibility.

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so, the topic of enderman language came up in a skype convo i’m in recently and i, being the terrible conlanging language nerd that i am, had many Thoughts on the subject. 

so! thoughts under the cut. i may have gone a little (read: extremely) overboard and ended up working out a whole theory of enderman reproduction and societal organisation, and i have no idea how intelligible chunks of this are to non-linguists, but. yknow. both languages and enderbabs have a special place in my heart, so that’s entirely unsurprising and it’s probably fine.

Keep reading