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Bruce, visibly overwhelmed by Emotions as he watches a ten-year-old Dick goofing around in the batcave: Alfred. Alfred I think I'd die if something happened to him
Alfred: *carefully doesn't say that he thought the same thing when Martha and Thomas placed a newborn Bruce in his arms for the first time because he knows that'll completely destroy the little emotional bandwidth Bruce has*
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Rio Vidal.
Green Witch, mother and loving wife. Telling her loved ones what to do since the 18th century.
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Dick Grayson, except that when he was Robin, he 100% took advantage of all the powered JL members.
Needed help getting the peanut butter off the top shelf? Instead of doing the weird jump-and-grab thing that all mortals must resign themselves to doing, Dick asked for Clark. Like, asks for him. Loudly. And Clark was always so startled that he’d drop whatever he was doing and speed over to the Manor, only to be greeted by a pouty, hangry Robin who wanted a pbj.
His tree house fell down during a storm? He made a call to John Stewart, architect-turned-Lantern. That poor man fucking rocketed across Sector 2814 to help Robin, who was completely inconsolable, rebuild that damn treehouse because Batman was out of town and couldn’t do it himself. (Dick also occasionally called up Hal, Guy, and Jessica when he was bored and wanted to babble about his life in 3rd grade while playing Hotwheels—they showed up every single time he asked.)
History or English homework got to hard? Diana always came in clutch. She would patiently explain Shakespeare to him (sometimes would even translate it into Dick’s mother tongue so he could understand a little better), or help him write his essays, etc. And on one memorable occasion, she recreated the Battle of Actium in the Manor’s indoor pool.
He also got piggyback rides from Hawkgirl, was fed a pretty much endless supply of gummy bears by the Flash, was entertained with close-up magic by Zatara, got Aquaman to introduce him to a Kraken, and even once played dress-up with J’onn.
And the Justice League? They would bend over backwards for that kid. Partially because Dick had only-baby-in-the-friend-group privilege, partially because Dick also happened to be stinking adorable—but mainly because no one was going to fuck around with the Batman’s kid. Robin wants it, Robin gets it, or you’re going to be assigned to tech desk and pulling horrible Moniter shifts for months because you got on Batman’s bad side by making his baby cry.
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The Batkids on being mistaken as Bruce's biological children.
Look, the Batkids have all been forced into various social gatherings, and enough of them share vague features with Bruce that some of the older members among Gotham's old money, or the younger ones that are out of the loop, sometimes mix up the facts.
Dick gets it from the very beginning. Old women pinch his cheeks, still tan from a life outside of Gotham's gloom, and tell him, Such a sweet little boy, and just like your father at your age. His hair used to stick up just like yours. Dick didn't like it at all. He bit the first person that told him he had Bruce's eyes, and stomped on the foot of an old politician that told him, With your father's height, I thought you'd be taller by now.
He laughs it off as an adult, but sometimes, it still eats at him. People still tell him that they thought he'd eventually be as tall as Bruce, or that he should be thankful for his inherited jaw line. It's not the comparison to Bruce that bothers him anymore, or even being mistaken as his son, but rather, the fact that he sometimes struggles to remember exactly where his features actually came from; parental faces turning fuzzy in his distant memory.
Jason thinks it's funny, the first time it happens. Mostly because it's his nose of all things. Your nose is bent, grumbled the old man sitting across from him at the gala, Just like your father's. Tough luck on the genetics. The man didn't realize the bent noses were because they'd both been broken in the past. Jason spent days after studying Bruce's face, trying to figure out if their noses really bent in the same way, and eventually came to the conclusion that, yeah, they really did. From that point on, each time either of them broke their nose, Jason would distantly think, Ah, damn, there goes the family resemblance.
As an adult, Jason takes care to make sure people don't often seen his face. The hood does a pretty good job of that. Besides, he doesn't move in circles where the mistake could be made anymore. Still, sometimes he looks in the mirror at the bump in his nose and thinks, Family resemblance. Yeah, right.
It happens less with Tim. Anyone that made the mistake with Jason and Dick also remembered Jack and Janet Drake. It's not until he's almost an adult that a new hire at Wayne Industries, some kid from out of town, sees him and Bruce in the office together and remarks, Oh, you two furrow your eyebrows in the same way when you think. My mom says that my dad and I do that too. We inherited it from my grandpa. Tim feels unsettled all day and makes a conscious effort to not to furrow his eyebrows anymore.
There's no mistake to make with Damian. At least, not the same one that can be made with the others. He's the blood son, and he's a perfect mix between Bruce and Talia. Of course, there's the well-meaning, if confused, adults that assume he's adopted like the others. He corrects them, swiftly, and sometimes aggressively.
There is one incident. It happens while Bruce is gone, after he's been staying with Grayson for a few months. He knew, of course, that people thought that Grayson looked like Bruce. He could even see the similarities. Superficially, of course. However, he never considered that Grayson looking like his father also meant that Grayson looked like him. Not until an old woman leaned over to him at a gala and said, You look just like your father when Mister Wayne first brought him out to these things. The hair, that disgruntled little frown. He hated these parties too. Couldn't ever sit still. Gosh, I really can't believe it's been long enough that he has a child of his own. It took Damian a while to realize what happened, and even then, he couldn't bring himself to tell her that he wasn't actually Grayson's son, or that he and Grayson weren't actually that far apart in age. He felt strangely guilty the rest of the night, and he never dared to tell Grayson about it.
It happened to Steph exactly once. Really, she doesn't look like Bruce at all. It was a man with exceptionally thick glasses, who actually told her that she reminded him of Martha Wayne. She's pretty sure he was just trying to be nice. She tries to forget about it. She never tells Bruce.
You have his eyes, is what Duke gets. Which confuses him, because, uh, no, he doesn't. Not even close like Dick's. He says as much to the woman that said it to him, and she squints her eyes at him and responds, No, you definitely do. Not in the shape or the color, but you look at things the same way he does. Duke thinks about that sometimes, and he swings back and forth between being annoyed and weirdly proud that he apparently looked at the world like Batman did.
People tell Cass that she has his smile. She beams with pride at that. After all, she learned it from him. She studied, closely, the way his mouth ticked up at the corners, both while he stretched the dazzling, fake smile across his face for the public, and the genuine, gentle smiles that he gave her while he helped tie her hair back or slip on her mask, and now she could replicate them both perfectly. She didn't like the fake one, but she knew it was necessary.
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Tim: I can’t tell dick?? I don’t want him to think I’m crazy or not trustworthy bc I’m doing something reckless??!
Jason who saw Dick make out with a mark to steal something from his pocket when Dick was 17:…
Bruce who saw Dick jump off a moving plane and hum the song “I need a hero” instead of calling for Superman:
Wally who say Dick go fuck it and infiltrate a sex trafficking ring as a stripper bc someone said he was too pretty to work for the mob:
Roy who has smacked dick out of delusions 15 times too many:
Clark who saw dick stay in a radioactive city for vibes:
Diana who has heard Donna’s concerned ramblings since she was like 12:
Damian who saw that Dick turned the bat ears into projectiles that can electrocute you:
Steph who saw the same thing:
Tim who refuses to believe Dick Grayson can do anything that isn’t brilliant, premeditated and completely the best option: I CANT HE’ll be so disappointed:(
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No other country has companies in the business of making money off denying health care to holders of health insurance.
No other country has medical debt.
No other country has medical bankruptcies.
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We have the worst health care system. It is a Frankenstein monster of waste and suffering.
If you would start all over, you would never pick our system. Never. Not even close.
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Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.
I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
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yeah I agree Dick wasn't the angry robin, but he was angry. Of course he was. His parents got caught up in an argument between their boss and a gang and died not even knowing thats why they died. He watched his parents die. He got thrown into Juvie. He knew who did it and no one believed him. At the age of 9-10-12, depending on the iteration he believed his best chance at justice was finding Zucco himself and getting a confession from him. Dick was angry. He was allowed to be.
He was also happy and joyful and good. He was lonely and scared and drowning in grief. He was also angry. Stop projecting some kind of moral weight onto anger and start viewing children as being capable of multiple emotions at once.
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bitch this is all you’re gonna get. this life, this face, this body. you better not ‘maybe in another universe’ your way out of everything. sit your ass down and face this. go make tea and have a picnic and read a goddamn book. kiss your loved ones, send that damn text, and hug your siblings. this is all you’re gonna get.
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America is the only country with medical debt and medical bankruptcy.
No other country destroys your life savings via medical procedures.
No other country.
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On my first day in Germany I got to my hotel and I couldn't get the lights to turn on. And I was like "Eh, fuck it, I'll just take a shower in the dark." And then the shower wouldn't get hot. I waited and waited and it stayed ice cold.
So I go down to the front desk and I'm like "My lights won't turn on and my shower won't get hot" so they send this guy up with me. We get into the room and I flick the switch and nothing happens so I'm like "See?"
And he goes "You must put your card in the slot."
"I... what? I have to put my room card in the light switch?"
"Of course!"
Now I have been in many hotels in the US and never encountered this concept, but apparently it was something most of their guests already knew. So I'm looking like a fool at this point. I feel like an idiot. The dude is fully grinning at me. I put the card in the slot and voila, the light turns on.
Then he's like "Ok, let's see if the shower works. You know you must wait for the hot water?" and I just know he's thinking I'm an idiot who also can't use a shower. This stupid American can't wait for the hot water! She can't even use a light switch or a shower!
And I guess he was distracted by these thoughts of my stupidity, because this dude fully stepped into the shower. In his nice dress shirt and slacks. He just. Gets into the shower.
And turns it on.
Have you ever seen a playing field get leveled instantaneously
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