steveandnatlover76

[steveandnatlover76]

Yelena: Hold on, I‘m giving you the ultimate kiss of sisterly power.

Natasha: If it involves slobber, I‘ll file an official complaint!

[steveandnatlover76]

During Natasha‘s pregnancy with Tatiana:

Steve: Why that face? Oh, no, you‘re having contractions aren’t you?! Do you want me to drive you to the hospital?

Natasha: Relax, solnyshko, it‘s just gas from the tacos we had at dinner.

Steve: I think I‘d prefer contractions…

Natasha: Since it’s basically your fault that I have these cravings for Mexican food, you will have to live with the aftermath.

Steve: Aftermath?! You make it sound like an atomic threat level!

Natasha: Brace yourself.

[steveandnatlover76]

Natasha: Oh…that’s huge.

Yelena: I‘ll bet she says that to Steve every night.

Tony: Oh, honestly, eyes on the ball, Yelena. We are under a huge Hydra drone attack!

Yelena: Yeah, alright, alright…

Steve: It IS huge though.

Yelena: Oh…my God.

[steveandnatlover76]

Sue: Honestly, it was so nice of Steve and Nat to invite us to dinner to meet their family. Especially Ilya is a devlish little charmer. But as adorable as their children are… Seven?! We are definitely done after Franklin and Valeria!

Reed: Especially since our seven kids would all have the Power Cosmic!

Sue: Yup!

[steveandnatlover76]

Natasha: You know, solnyshko. The Hudson is a lot like you. Calm, strong…

Steve: And what does that make you?

Natasha: The one who keeps you from drifting off.

Steve: Or the one who pushes me in when I get cocky.

Natasha: Don’t tempt me.

Steve: With you, sweetheart, temptation is kind of the point.

Natasha: Gosh, not sure if we shouldn’t head home to the Compound early today.

[steveandnatlover76]

Sue: Now, Ilya, Herbie might not be human, but you must show him some respect. He wants to take care of you. You hurt his feelings.

Ilya: Rolling Toaster is cramping my style! I‘m the Deadly Viper!! Aaaaaah! (runs off)

Natasha: See?

Sue: Yeah. Your and Steve‘s son won‘t have a future at the Future Foundation as a diplomat.

[steveandnatlover76]

Ilya: I‘m just borrowing Mom‘s grappling hooks, Herbie!

Herbie (angry beeping, warning signals)

Natasha: Herbie! He is six years old! You can’t stun him!

Steve: Can’t he just stun him a little?

Natasha: Steve!!

Ilya (hanging from the chandelier): Too late!!!

Herbie (defeated whirring noises)

[steveandnatlover76]

Ilya has Natasha‘s Widow‘s Bites aiming them at Herbie‘s backside.

Ilya: Surrender, rolling toaster! I got zappies!!

He fires one.

Herbie: Beeeeep!! Booooop!!

Natasha: What is going on here?! Hand those over, Ilya! These are not toys.

Ilya: Okay, okay…

Natasha: Are you alright, Herbie?

Herbie: Beeeeeep! Beeeeeeeep! Boooop! Beep!

Natasha: Friday, translation.

Friday: Need back-up! Preferably the Fantastic Four.

[steveandnatlover76]

Interviewer: I hear you got a Herbie, a nanny robot, for your kids! Like the one Sue Storm has?

Natasha: Yes, we do.

Interviewer: Your Herbie really has his work cut out for him. After all you have seven kids!

Natasha: Yes, Herbie has already asked for a transfer to Wakanda.

[steveandnatlover76]

From the time of Steve and Natasha‘s courtship:

Natasha: Gosh, such high temperatures today!

Steve: Maybe it would help to lose some clothing.

Natasha: Thor! You have slipped some Asgardian whiskey in Steve‘s coke, haven‘t you?

Thor: Well, I wanted him to relax and get into the mood for celebration!

Steve: Nat, you‘re the hottest momma that has ever walked the face of the earth! Wanna check out my stamps collection upstairs?! (winks clumsily)

Natasha: Thor!!! Although…

[steveandnatlover76]

Natasha and Ilya prepare an aquarium for the baby frog.

Natasha: Welcome home, Steve junior. Isn’t he a precious baby?

Steve: He is green and slimy and you named him after me?!

Natasha: He has your eyes, solnyshko.

Steve: Do I at least get naming rights for the next baby?

Natasha: Oh, NOW, you want another child?!!

[steveandnatlover76]

Natasha: Who needs a spa when you got nature‘s own mud?

James: I might have a leech on my leg and am emotionally unwell here.

Ilya (puts mud on his face): This is war paint! Call me Dirty Viper!

Steve: Definitely reminiscent of WW2.

Sarah: Can we go home before we dissolve in bacteria?

Ilya (holding up a baby frog): This is our new family member! I‘m calling him Steve junior!

Steve: Ilya!!

Natasha: That‘s the spirit, troublemaker!

[steveandnatlover76]

Yelena: Is that thing really loaded or are you just threatening sleep?

Steve: Yeah, Nat. Is that a real tranquilizer gun?

Natasha: I need to focus. If you both don’t stop talking, you‘ll go to sleep.

Yelena: Oh, a family nap? How cozy!

Steve: Yeah, should we wear matching pajamas?!

Natasha: I miss being amongst real assassins. They didn’t talk so much…or talk stupid.

[steveandnatlover76]

Yelena: What’s wrong?

Natasha: Ilya superglued his kindergarten teacher to the chair.

Yelena: I‘m sure he had his reasons.

Steve: He said the kindergarten teacher looked „suspicious“!

Yelena: There you go! Better safe than sorry.

Natasha: Last week he tied Liho to the Rhoomba. I don’t know what we‘re going to do with that boy.

Yelena: You married a super soldier and gave birth to a potential super villain. I don’t know what you‘re complaining about!

[steveandnatlover76]

Lena: Oh, mom, that‘s a terrible wig in the photo!

Natasha: Well, sweetie, I had to make do with what I had at my disposal.

Yelena: I still think you could have done better than this!

Steve: I don’t know I find this hairstyle rather sexy.

Lena and Yelena: You would!

Natasha: Don’t listen to them, solnyshko. They have no idea what turns us on.

Lena and Yelena: Ewwwwww!

[steveandnatlover76]

Natasha: Oh, come on, solnyshko. You can do it!

Steve: Oh, my poor stomach. Super soldier serum doesn’t cover fear of heights apparently.

Ilya whizzes past him.

Ilya: Weeeeeeee…Daddy is a weenie!

Steve: Natasha, your child lacks some serious respect!

Natasha: MY child? That sure isn’t how I remember that night!

[steveandnatlover76]