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i cant delete this blog but know that i remade. bye

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Source

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my intrusive thoughts are being a bitch today so reminder that your intrusive thoughts are NOT any indicator of your actual morals they are intrusive and they arent you.

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re: certain people defending their "kill all pedos stance" with statements along the lines of "I'm not talking about people with POCD, I'm talking about actual pedos!"

okay uh. hate to break it to you. but OCD is the doubt disorder. the whole point is that there is never going to be certainty in the mind of the person with OCD one way or the other. when my POCD has been triggered, I will never be able to convince myself that I'm not a pedo. that's just how it works

when I'm in a spiral, and I see:

people throwing around the word "pedo" as if it's a normal insult

people saying that anyone who sexualises children should be killed

the logical place for my brain to go is a very dark place. it's like this:

what if I'm a pedo?

starts obsessing about what I would do if I was one

remembers that "all pedos should die" and starts to freak out

compulsively searches for "evidence" one way or the other

when I first developed POCD, I started getting suicidal thoughts again after over a year without them. depending on the study, somewhere between 5-25% of people with OCD have attempted suicide at some point in their life. POCD is a significant factor in that

the be all and end all is that, if you want to protect people with OCD, you have to start supporting people with paraphilic disorders

and I shouldn't have to say this but

disclaimer: [disclaimer] I do not think that people who have hurt children should be able to run about in the wild and continue to hurt children or whatever. I'm simply talking about showing some compassion, and supporting healthcare for people with any and all disorders (including paraphilic ones). I'm a survivor of CSA myself so do not @ me for this

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antis need to realize therapy isnt something that will just magically turn you into a normal person

some of the things therapists recommend to help their clients are strange

like, ive seen a child therapist recommend that one of her clients sleep in a laundry basket. the little girl had to be taken from her home where she was neglected to stay at a place for kids like her. at night she tried to pull her mattress off her bed and sleep on the bedframe, so her therapist told her caretakers to let her sleep in a laundry basket, and it helped her a lot

anyway, the point im making is therapists arent here to make people 'normal', theyre here to make people happier

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A fun fact about POCD is that it makes you at least half convinced you are a pedophile. So saying "I support people with POCD, I was talking about ACTUAL pedos!" in response to someone calling you out on how your words/actions harm people with POCD is fucking useless, because if someone's POCD is severe enough they will wholeheartedly believe that they belong in the "ACTUAL pedos" category. And then they will think they deserve to die or whatever. Your "I'm not talking about people with POCD" statements do nothing to help us and I recommend shutting the fuck up.

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Potentially hot take about POCD. It's not the worst thing in the world if you can't tell whether your intrusive thoughts are really intrusive or if they're genuine thoughts. It's not the worst thing in the world if you can't tell whether the thoughts disgust you or if you enjoy them. Even in the unlikely event that it was a "real" thought, that it was based on legitimate attraction, that doesn't matter as much as your actions. The most important thing is whether or not you're causing actual harm.

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cleancore stim board!! i didn’t make any of these gifs ^___^

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Let’s get cleaned up 🧼

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