stellaeforged

[stellaeforged]

hey everyone !! i'm not sure when i'll be coming back to tumblr completely, but in the meantime, please like this and i will give u my discord! i've been gravitating to writing / plotting and chatting more over there. :) i hope everyone is doing well and has a relaxing happy holidays!

[stellaeforged]

I was a gifted child. Until I wasn't. I was the golden girl. Until I couldn't burn anymore.

My parents expected me to build wings of gold and fly further than anyone could ever try. I don't blame them, having a child to raise is like sculpting a clay pot, you can shape it the way you like, paint it the colour you fancy. To raise a child is to play God. To raise a child is to be God.

But to be a child is to fall, to make mistakes, to fail. The thing about being too bright at an early age means you burn out by the time you're 16 and suddenly the world around you becomes more gray and terribly, terribly lonely. The fire is never warm enough, nothing is ever enough. And one day you find yourself begging to a godless sky, begging for a new spark.

I was a gifted child once. I was the golden girl. And one day, I burned out.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire

[stellaeforged]

Henry Cavill as GUS MARCH-PHILLIPPS In The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024), Dir. Guy Ritchie

[stellaeforged]

*      ―    ﴾  𝚗𝚜𝚏𝚠  𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚜  ﴿   :    𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒  𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐘  𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.

personally ,   i’m  tired  of  the  secondhand  embarrassment.   so  here’s  a  random  assortment  of  nsfw  actions  and  dialogue  prompts  that  don’t  feel  too  over  the  top.   (  don’t  forget  to  add  [ reverse ]  if  you’d  like  to  see  the  receiver  perform  the  action.  )

actions.

[ PULL ]: ��sender  pulls  receivers  hair.

[ HICKEY ]:  sender  gives  receiver  a  hickey.

[ TRAIL ]:  sender  leaves  a  trail  of  kisses  down  receivers  stomach.

[ HIPS ]:  sender  pulls  receiver  in  closer  by  the  hips.

[ KNEES ]:  sender  lowers  themselves  to  their  knees.

[ STRIPTEASE ]:  sender  teasingly  strips  their  clothes.

[ STRIP ]:  sender  undresses  receiver.

[ GRIND ]:  sender  grinds  on  receivers  thigh.

[ ORAL ]:  sender  goes  down  on  receiver.

[ PASSENGER ]:  sender  touches  receiver  while  sender  is  driving.

[ DRIVER ]:  sender  goes  down  on  /  touches  receiver  while  receiver  is  driving.

[ OVERSTIMULATED ]:  sender  repeatedly  making  receiver  orgasm.

[ PUBLIC ]:  sender  and  receiver  have  sex  somewhere  public.

[ CAR ]:  sender  and  receiver  have  sex  in  a  car.

[ CONTROL ]:  sender  is  riding  receiver  and  receiver  takes  control  by  guiding  their  hips.

[ SHY ]:  sender  covers  their  face  and  receiver  moves  their  hands  away.

[ EYES ]:  sender  makes  receiver  look  them  in  the  eyes.

[ BEG ]:  sender  begs  receiver  to  touch  /  fuck  them.

[ MORNING ]:  sender  wakes  receiver  up  with  sex.

[ STRADDLE ]:  sender  sits  in  receivers  lap  to  tease  them.

[ CAMERA ]:  sender  records  receiver.

[ RECORD ]:  sender  is  recorded  by  receiver.

[ MOUTH ]:  sender  puts  their  fingers  into  receivers  mouth.

[ LOVE ]:  sender  tells  receiver  they  love  them  during.

[ PUSH ]:  sender  pushes  receiver  onto  bed.

dialogue.

“ you  look  so  pretty  like  this.  “

“ i  want  to  spend  all  night  learning  every  sound  you  make. “

“ let  me  take  care  of  you. “

“ i’m  not  wearing  any  underwear  right  now. “

“ you’re  really  good  at  that. “

“ god,  you’re  so  wet  /  hard  …. “

“ i  think  about  you  when  i  touch  myself. “

“ tell  me  what  you  want. “

“ please  touch  /  fuck  me. “

“ i  love  teasing  you. “

“ touch  yourself  for  me. “

“ i  get  so  wet  /  hard  around  you. “

“ get  on  your  knees. “

“ you’re  such  a  tease. “

“ tell  me  you’re  mine. “

“ i’m  yours. “

“ i  want  you  to  cum  for  me. “

“ i  want  you  to  cum  in  me. “

“ i’ll  be  good,  i  promise. “

“ you’re  doing  so  good  for  me. “

“ you  feel  so  good. “

“ you  sound  so  pretty  when  you  moan. “

“ i  could  be  your  toy. “

“ fuck  me  like  you  love  me. “

“ i’m  gonna  cum- “

“ i  just  want  to  feel  something. “

“ i  wanna  be  on  top  this  time. “

[stellaeforged]

a soft puff of laughter slipped from her lips, amused by such crassness but knowing it all the same. '--mm, i'd be quite impressed if you could manage to do so, mi amor. i've seen many things, but sexy hair washing?' she was teasing now, grin curled upon her lips as she felt his fingers graze over the curve of her waist. but when he gently beckoned her closer, offering himself to her, she'd happily indulge herself. 'i think you might actually like this, cariño. or maybe it's because it'd be me doing it.' chuckle escapes her at that joke, knowing that he'd find such a thing near impossible.

she leaned a little to the side to pick up the shampoo bottle, humming softly as she began to lather the shampoo into dark tufts of hair. her fingers were slow, firm as they rubbed circles into his scalp. her body leaned into the sturdiness of his arms, his chest, and while she focused on washing his hair, she was all too aware of his eyes on her. knowing that mischievous glint too well, knowing how he could turn the tides with but a moment's notice.

To see whether she was pleased or not was rather easy, the air feeling more floral than before having eyes wander behind her, observing the blossoming of flowers out of season in their pots like they were singing happy chants in accordance to her emotions. For a while he let it linger, wallow even, in this warmth. Her embrace, even the foreign ways of which she chose to caress and kiss him. For a being who grew up without the warmth of a parent, he was unsure what to associate such affection with other than Gaia. All he did was return it in his own way, of letting lips press to her neck and shoulder, down to her collarbone before eventually he leaned back. "I accept your devotion, my flower. I just can't promise that I won't view this it as inherently sexual." Raijin was a crass being who had very little interest in tenderness. Tolerating the idea of something this soft was already as far as anyone had ever gotten, now it was time to test his patience further. Only Gaia was capable to do so, of playing her sweet charms on the kami who was so hardened if not cold from the moment he had been born. That did not mean he could not be devoted himself though, actually all of that was plenty for him to show that she was special. That as a being he viewed her differently from anyone else. Fingers played along her waist as eyes kept watching, a hint of mischief hidden. Then he drew her in closer like an invitation to do as she desired.

[stellaeforged]

any of her hesitation crumbled into a bout of laughter, thomas's words urging her to gently nudge into his side with her shoulder. she was about to retort to his teasing, but then he leaned down with a kiss in tow, leaving her with a little smile and a bashfulness all too typical of her, years in, still not being used to such sweet touches in public. '-- the fruit does look pretty good,' she agreed softly as they passed the orchards, her eyes lingering on some of the couples and families lugging around their baskets. dark eyes flutter from the orchards to the cluster of animals, brows furrowed as she looked it over. almost as if trying to consider the possibilities, the likelihoods of things. but when thomas nudged her, she couldn't help her sheepish little grin, nose crinkling a little as she watched the little children scrambling around. ' maybe, maybe,' she played along, a little coo escaping as she saw one of the calves gently headbutting someone. even though she would look around a few more times, quietly figuring out where to get the food from, checking things off in her head, her eyes fluttered back over to the cows, how peaceful and relaxed they were as they longed around in the fields.

dark curls were guided out of her face as she accepted the feed in her free hand, not reacting too much to the smell. '-- it's okay, it's not too bad,' she murmured to assure him, slowly stepping into the pen after thomas. she was practically glued to her fiancé's side now, watching the goats scampering around. quickly she could tell that they were more interested in the food, so she'd hold the feed out at arm's length, dropping it on the ground for them. once or twice, the goat would come to curiously nip at her jeans, to which talia gently shooed them away. ' you know, you just work well with anyone and anything, so it's not hard for me to see them following you back to the car,' she attempted to joke, though barely stifled her squeal as the goat most interested in her clothes returned to try for another taste. she gently nudged the goat towards the other direction, trying to coax it with the feed in her hand. ' ... they're ... really persistent ...'

“that’s what the sign said. if anything i know they have a petting zoo.” thomas said with a smile as he took her hand in his. he knew this was a bit out of her comfort zone. nat was a city girl through and through, he never saw her getting her hands dirty like this but if they were just passing through he knew he couldn’t pass up an opportunity. “do you think i’m the cow milking king or something?” he teased as he leaned in to give her a quick kiss. he didn’t care if he made a complete fool of himself, as long as the two of them were having fun that’s all that mattered. they would have been to their new home by now, but he wouldn’t give up having a moment like this. this was something that he’d love to tell family and friends, even their kids one day about how much fun they had driving across the country together.

“who knows, maybe i’ll like this so much we’ll end up buying a farm.” he teased as he looped her arm with his and went to start walking around the farm grounds. there were several other people there, and he couldn’t help but feel his eyes go wide at the side of the place. there were a handful of things to do, pick fruits and vegetables, pet a handful of animals, milk cows, thomas just hoped that they had enough time to do it all. “maybe we can get a couple things for the car ride. some of the stuff looks pretty good.” he said with a little shrug as the two of them headed over to the area where all of the animals were. he chuckled at the sight of the kids running around the small petting zoo and gave nat a little nudge. “think we’ll be as excited as they are?” he teased. he was able to pay for some food to feed them and put some in nat’s hand.

“i know it doesn’t smell great, but i know those goats right there will love it.” he said as he gave her another smile before walking into where the goats were and holding out his hand full of food for them to come and eat it. the two of them were surrounded by the small animals as they continued to come up and he couldn’t help but laugh a bit since the wanted all of the food in their hand. “we might have found some new friends.” he teased as he went to go get some more. “think i can get one of them in the car? i have to google if cats get along with goats.” thomas teased again as he sent a wink her way. “just relax, they won’t hurt you. trust me they’re probably more scared of us than we are of them.”

[stellaeforged]

𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝: a little assortment of prompts revolving around painful, bottled up affection and endless yearning, as well as the possible result of finally taking action. remember to tag your dark themes. add +reverse to swap the roles.

[ 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 ] : receiver notices sender looking at them longingly. [ 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 ] : receiver hears sender calling their name while asleep. [ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐭𝐡 ] : sender drapes a coat / cape / etc. around receiver's shoulders. [ 𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 ] : receiver is hugging a coat / cape / etc. that belongs to the sender. [ 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐦 ] : sender is helping the receiver through a panic attack / severe anxiety. [ 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 ] : sender takes a hold of receiver's both hands. [ 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 ] : sender and receiver are spooning for comfort and warmth. [ 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 ] : sender and receiver are finally about to kiss, but are interrupted. [ 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 ] : sender and receiver are finally sharing a passionate kiss. [ 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 ] : sender has just found the receiver who's been missing for weeks. [ 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬 ] : after being misinformed that the sender has died, receiver is grieving. [ 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝 ] : sender is expressing anger over receiver's constant recklessness. [ 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 ] : sender is voicing their negative opinion about a person who appears to be close with the receiver. [ 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 ] : sender has just told receiver "you belong to me". [ 𝐰𝐡𝐲 ] : sender has just asked receiver "why don't you love me". [ 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 ] : sender has harmed someone who threatened the receiver. [ 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐦 ] : sender has killed someone who threatened the receiver. [ 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 ] : sender has gotten injured protecting the receiver. [ 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 ] : sender is getting frustrated with their repressed affection and asks receiver to leave them alone. [ 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥 ] : unable to handle their fondness towards receiver, the sender lashes out and they end up in a heated argument. [ 𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲 ] : sender is apologising for appearing cold. [ 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 ] : sender is telling receiver they "deserve better than whatever this is".

[stellaeforged]

💕 Raijin

meme // accepting !

💕-- to   give   my   muse   an   amorous   massage.

deities, if nothing else, were always prideful. vulnerability was lost on those who were weathered by a millenia of years. gaia was thought to be different because of her nuturing disposition, and this was true to an extent. she worked to earn that vulnerability, that gentleness in those around her. but by no means was she easily swayed to do so herself. just like other ancient deities, she was worn down by the cruelty of both gods and humans alike. but if there was anyone she could entrust that part of her with, that tender side of her, that side that she protected so diligently, she supposed she could trust that with raijin.

she was dozing in the comfort of the silk sheets and cloud-like pillows, when she heard the quiet pads of raijin's steps. too tired to sit up and greet him as she normally did, she'd slowly turn onto her side, quietly watching him undress. when he came to bed with her with a slight tilt of the head, dark brows furrowed in his thought, a sheepish grin softened her face as she murmured to answer the question given to her through his eyes, '-- worked a lot today. i'm just a little worn out, mi vida, it's okay.'

she was about to ask him how his day went, ask about the previous deals he had mentioned in the morning as he left, but then she was guided back to how she was laying before, on her stomach, and she turned her head to try and glance up to him -- a quiet question, surprised but also not protesting. she felt the crackle of his touch, a flash of cold and then warmth against her bare back, and she sighed with quiet relief. it was exhausting some days, constantly fighting, battling, and losing. focusing on healing rather than building and moving forward. but as she felt the firm rubs of her lover's hands over her shoulders, over the ebbs and freckles and scars of her back, that burden felt a little lighter.

' ... thank you, raijin.'

[stellaeforged]

— LOVE IS IN THE AIR!

Valentine's   Day   starters.   Send   me... (Send   🔄   +   any   emoji   to   reverse   the   outcome.)

❤️   to   give   my   muse   a   box   of   chocolates. 💐   to   give   my   muse   a   bouquet   of   flowers. 🎁   to   give   my   muse   a   gift   of   your   choice. 🍬   to   give   my   muse   some   Valentine's   Day   candy. 💋   to   share   a   Hershey's   kiss   with   my   muse. 😘   to   share   a   real   kiss   with   my   muse. 💞   to   be   my   muse's   Valentine. 🍷   to   go   wine   tasting   with   my   muse. 💕   to   give   my   muse   an   amorous   massage. 🍿   to   watch   a   romantic   comedy   with   my   muse. 💌   to   write   my   muse   a   love   letter. 🍪   to   bake   cookies   with   my   muse. 💓   to   go   on   a   romantic   outing   with   my   muse. 🍫   to   feed   my   muse   chocolates. 💃   to   slow   dance   with   my   muse.

[stellaeforged]

❛  this right here is why your are my favorite person.  ❜ from Melinoe to Daehyun

meme // accepting !!

his eyes were tired, always tired. and maybe that's how they found each other. always was a simple man, focused on one thing, then the next, then the next. the only times he had to himself outside of his work that were truly his, were in the fleeting chances to go to the cafe near his apartment, the bakery, maybe a convenience store on their block. meeting noel was simply by chance, neighbors in the same block that frequented the same places, but he noticed her, took time to consider those small things that made her her through those small conversations, those moments in passing, seeing each other.

he set the steaming mug down in front of her at the cafe, smiling in quiet satisfaction as he shook off her words of praise. is quietly happy that he remembered the right drink, made the right call this time. '-- it's too cold out to not try to warm up at least a little bit,' he half-joked, a small smile gracing his face. ' you mentioned you had something big with work recently, right? how did it go for you?'

[stellaeforged]

she knew fully well how stubborn raijin could be; their experiences, both long-lasting, brought them to a rut, stuck in their ways. after all, after seeing so many failures, so many successes, how could someone else claim that they were possibly mistaken? who else could challenge her but him? and who else could challenge him other than herself? his words, firm, yet tender all the same, brought a swell to her chest few other things could. as if overwhelmed by emotion, emotion that couldn't quite reach her expression, flowers began to blossom in the potted plants around the bathroom, as if voicing the feelings she had the unfortunate habit of restraining. there was a satisfied little smile on her lips as she nestled into the safety of his embrace, cheek resting against his head as she trailed her fingers up and down his back.

'-- i'll allow myself to be a little greedy, then,' she agreed with a soft hum, kissing upon his temple, his forehead. to her, truly, such tender things like washing her lover's hair, letting them wash her hair, it was an act of devotion. her, devoting herself to the idea of trusting him and letting herself be laid bare before him in such a quiet moment, or her devoting her touch, her hands, her time, to taking care of something small for him. maybe it was a foolish thought, a foolish sentiment. but it was hers. she liked the thought, that despite the disappointments, the betrayals, there was still the possibility to heal. the same piece of earth that was scorched, hard and cold, could someday bring the most beautiful flowers once more.

' i don't mind if you see it as beneath me. i want to be the one to do it for you,' she murmured, kissing upon his forehead, gently cradling his face and tilting his face so she could lean down and plant a soft, lingering kiss to his lips. '-- that is how i show my devotion to you, raijin, should you accept it.' her hand reached up to slowly guide her hair over her shoulder, eyes fluttering away from him now. she normally kept such thoughts, requests, to herself. she had learned to be content with most things, so ... to her, it felt almost a little bizarre, that spark of happiness at the thought being able to do such a small thing for him.

Intimacy, as many things, they viewed differently. Yet what would have resulted in an argument or dismissal with anyone else, in this case was at least given a listen by him. Even the way she settled how he wanted her to, or the way his palms stroked from her waist down to hips and ample thighs did not distract him from giving her his attention. Gaia was different, she was special in a way only another ancient being could be. "I give you, what I have given no other." Raijin chose to speak once more, calm yet firm in his usual ways, but the tone was gentler than it would be with anyone other than her. Even now his lips traced her skin, finding the scars bared to him and letting his tongue play over the raised scar tissue like it had so many times before. It was a privilege and also fascination to see someone of her status baring scars. All the while his gaze never faltered from hers, it never looked away nor avoided her. "Fucking is intimacy to me. Washing my hair is not. Will you be jealous if I let anyone else do so- I could consider allowing you to. Even though I do view it as beneath you." Palms traced her body in return, sliding up from her thighs around her rear to cup it so perfectly, once more drawing her close into his embrace until his chin could settle on her shoulder. "My woman pleasures me and I pleasure her, she advises me with her brilliant mind and bears my offspring. Anything else is for a maid to do." As much as he would spread his chaos around the world, entertain himself with the desperation of the people - privately he was traditional at times and hard in being shown a different perspective. "I will let you be greedy, my flower. I will let you get away with your wish this time again."

[stellaeforged]

dark brows furrowed slightly as she considered his words, mulled them over, his sentiment turned over and over in her hands like clay. despite her disagreement she allows him to pull her in, abiding to his guiding touch as she straddled his thighs. as his head comes to her throat, lips grazing along a scar etched over her shoulder, the side of her collar, her fingers curl slightly into broad shoulders. even now, such tender touches were a surprise for her, knowing fully well that it was a choice. everything between the two of them was a choice, truly. she was making the choice to be vulnerable with him, to give him free reign over her, and he chose in this moment to be gentle with her. to please her. she could endure anything, as she had many times before, from those who had wronged her, but that sting of betrayal, of cruelty, would always plague her. they had known each other for years and years and years, and it felt foolish to believe he would do the same, and yet. all she could do was rely on these soft moments, these choices. and he assured her each and every time.

' i think we see that sort of intimacy very differently, mi vida,' she pointed out gently, her hand tender as it ghosted over his shoulders, down his spine and back up again. her body follows his touch, her hips pressed slightly into his, thighs digging against the firmness of his legs. '-- i don't think of it as something so patronizing. would such a tender touch make you any less of a fearsome god? i would think not, no? if anything, it is even more meaningful to me.' she paused for a moment, not sure if what she would say next was too bold of her, either. but it was what she felt, and he deserved to know. her hand came to cradle his cheek, eyes lingering on his as he planted a soft kiss to the valley of her breasts. ' nor do i think a maid is suited for something so intimate. i would not take it as a compliment, if you were more comfortable with a maid doing such a thing than myself.' though, perhaps that was something of her own.

' i simply see it as a moment to be close to you. to touch you, without expectations.' she smiled, leaning down to kiss upon the crown of his head. '... ultimately, that is how i see it. we can agree to disagree, if we must.'

Men like Raijin are prideful, immortal or otherwise, yet at least with someone of his history it was pride well deserved. Allowing intimacy other than sexual was not something on the kami's mind nor something he ever bothered to contemplate. And yet Gaia is a creature of nurture, one knows how to even bring a lion to purr like a kitten even if only with enough patience. It might just be the perfect fit to slowly peel away the hard shell of pride around a man like Raijin, a creature as older than wrath, war or mistrust with a mind of times when Gaia, earth herself, was still untouched by any being and he ruled over the skies above her unrelentlessly. In that way she also knew him well, enough for her touch to peak his interest, to have eyes wander her divine figure and bring his own hand at her hip closer to her waist to pull her in. Leaning in he naturally traced her neck with his lips, feeling a drop of water slide along the skin just for his tongue to catch it and follow its trail upwards, eventually letting teeth graze her skin. "You mistake me for those weak men seeking comfort and assurance." This time his grip on her was a tad rougher, a bit firmer as he lifted her to straddled his lap, a palm at her behind urging her to press flush against him. "I don't take that as a compliment." Sometimes navigating Natalia was difficult, their natures in its essence complete opposites so his words may sound harsh to some especially knowing the affection he did hold for her. But if anyone else would dare to challenge his hard shell, they would not have been drawn closer like this. Dark gaze remained on her, looked up to her as his head leaned in, a slow kiss placed between her breasts, apologetic maybe, though definitely tender. "You are my woman, not my maid." Clearly there was room for convincing.

[stellaeforged]

the drive nearly doubled in its length because of how many stops they took, and while it probably wasn't the most practical, it made things a little easier. she remembered the niche little restaurants they found, the diners on the side of the hallway, the pictures she snuck in as they drove. shaky photos of the scenery, of the appalachian mountains and the rivers and the many, many plains ( a lifetime's worth, which surprised the city kid in her ). somehow, someway, there was something new for her to see each day, but ... for once, that anxiety around something new, the inevitable worry that would come, was also coupled with a timid sort of excitement that thomas brought so naturally, hand in hand.

as they drove through kansas, her in and out of dozing, her hand absentmindedly clung onto his on the middle console. it was only when he announced that they needed some gas that she would slowly wake up, squinting slightly as she looked around. she was about to ask about one of the gas stations they passed, but then she saw his face, the way he seemed to try and bite back his little grin as he seemed to have a gas station in mind. he had something in mind -- what was he planning?

his innocent smile just prompted a soft laugh to escape her, airy and soft, dark brows raised as she took another look around the car. her eyes widened as she saw the farm, the billboard showcasing the farm animals and activities they had there. for a moment she was quiet, almost befuddled as she clambered out of the car. but then she glanced up to her lover, easily coming to link her arm with his. '-- they would actually let us milk a cow and stuff?' was her first question, her brows furrowed as she thought it over. ' i mean, like, that all sounds really ... different, but i guess, i don't know why, that just felt the most ... crazy to me?' her uncertainty was softened with another laugh, but she just pressed her lips to his jaw. ' i'm down for it, though. you're gonna have to go first though, so i can see how you do it.'

while their destination continued to get closer and closer, thomas tried his hardest to milk as much fun as he could from driving across the country. he hadn’t left his small radius from their city and his hometown and now was tasked with getting them both there safely as well as keeping them entertained. wherever nat wanted to go, he’d stop in a heartbeat and tried to pull as much fun out of this as possible.

they were about halfway through their drive, and he knew they only had a couple more days left on the road so he wanted to make it as memorable as possible. “you know what i think we need some gas…” thomas said as he gave her hand a squeeze before taking one of the exits. both of them were used to the high energy of the city, and he knew that california wouldn’t be like that at all. they had lived out there before and things were at a much slower pace. he thought it was time that they got their hands a little down and dirty.

as he drove past a couple of gas stations, he chuckled to himself and shrugged his shoulders. “what i think gas is cheaper over here.” he said as he followed a couple of cars before pulling up to a vast farm. his smile widened as he parked, giving her an innocent smile like he didn’t have this planned. “i swear there’s gas inside… and apples, and blueberries… and cows.” he teased as he chuckled to himself. “i thought we could pick a couple of things, milk a cow or something. plus it gets us out of the car for a little bit.” as he finally climbed out to stretch his legs, his smile widened as he saw a couple other people who had the same idea he did. hopefully it would be a nice way to break up the drive.

“did i also mention about the biggest ball of yarn being here?” anything he could do to add a bit of fun for the two of them. “you can pick what we pick, whatever you want,” he said with a smile as he leaned against the car.

[stellaeforged]

maybe it was a bold request from her, asking to take the lead here, giving herself the power of deciding what would happen. talia didn't think of the possible implications of that ask until he seemed to close off, pulling away, and although her request was innocent, it seemed fair that he would be hesitant. bathing together was fairly intimate in the first place, let alone washing each other. to her, her scars were a reminder of previous vulnerability, permanent imperfection. to him, she could imagine this sort of vulnerability was few and far between; it could even be that even now, he was not completely ... present. and that would be understandable, too.

'-- i suppose we may be entertained by different things,' she admitted with ease, her fingers languidly tracing over his arm, his wrist. slowly she would turn from her place settled between his legs, facing him now. ' i was simply thinking that maybe ... i could help wash your hair, or your body. but i would only wish to do that if you felt comfortable; if you would prefer that i not, just say the word.' her hand would easily come to graze over his jaw, similar to how she touched him in bed, how she brought him closer in those heated moments. in her nature, a soft touch, hoping to assure him further. '-- if you have a different idea of me entertaining you, i'm more than happy listening to that suggestion, too.' // @irrwicht continued from here !!

[stellaeforged]

🐝  *  ―  𝑹𝑨𝑵𝑫𝑶𝑴 𝑭𝑳𝑼𝑭𝑭𝒀 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  you look absolutely beautiful/handsome today.  ❜ ❛  i love you more than words can say.  ❜ ❛  i will always be here for you.  ❜ ❛  you are the most important person in my life.  ❜ ❛  i promise to never let you down.  ❜ ❛  come on, let’s get you back to bed.  ❜ ❛  i’m gonna kiss it all better.  ❜ ❛  you’re just like a big cuddly teddy bear.  ❜ ❛  have i ever told you what a beautiful smile you have?  ❜ ❛  shut up and kiss me already.  ❜ ❛  here, i brought you your favorites.  ❜ ❛  just relax and let me take care of everything else.  ❜ ❛  this color really brings out your eyes.  ❜ ❛  will you stay here with me please?  ❜ ❛  do you mind if i use you as a pillow?  ❜ ❛  stop hogging the blanket!  ❜ ❛  i thought you said you wanted to help me with dinner.  ❜ ❛  honey, i’m home!  ❜ ❛  i saw this at the store and thought it would be perfect for you.  ❜ ❛  did i ever tell you how much i love you?  ❜ ❛  you are worth fighting for.  ❜ ❛  i feel like i’m finally where i belong.  ❜ ❛  we should just ditch them and have a night to ourselves.  ❜ ❛  please stay here, i’ve only just started to warm up a little.  ❜ ❛  do you want to go out on a date with me?  ❜ ❛  this right here is why your are my favorite person.  ❜ ❛  you’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this.  ❜ ❛  i prepared breakfast for us.  ❜ ❛  keep it. it looks better on you anyway.  ❜ ❛  go back to sleep. i promise i’ll be there when you wake up.  ❜ ❛  you mean a lot to me.  ❜ ❛  remember we have some plans for later.  ❜ ❛  is it okay if i hold your hand?  ❜ ❛  do you want to stay the night?  ❜ ❛  i think i could live without you … but i don’t want to. i don’t ever want to.  ❜ ❛  only you can make me feel this way.  ❜ ❛  we should just stay in bed today.  ❜ ❛  i’ll come running whenever you need me.  ❜ ❛  you are perfect to me.  ❜ ❛  i think i might need some snuggle time.  ❜

[stellaeforged]

she watched him as he easily chatted on the phone, ordering their food, lips pursed slightly in thought. while thomas normally was the more positive one out of the two of them, normally the one that seemed to see the silver linings, there were also moments where she could tell there was something weighing on him. but he was stubborn, just as stubborn as herself, and while she knew the her years ago would have just taken it as it was, turning away simply because it was easier, she also knew that in those moments, she had wanted someone, anyone, to notice. to see that she was drowning in it all. to help her. she knew thomas would never ask outright, but that's why she was there. he would never have to ask for help from her; she would be there to hold him up regardless.

'-- mm, i was thinking, there were a few places i thought would be fun ...' she agreed softly, nodding a little as she nestled into the plush of the pillow. she knew it would be uncomfortable to reach over, so she instead just busied herself with stroking her fingers over her lover's back, his side, until he turned over to face her once more. nose wrinkles slightly as she smiles, quietly soaking in the feeling of his hand grazing over her cheek, her dark hair. the thought of him in a cowboy hat, regardless of the circumstances, brought a laugh to escape her, a little muted because of the strain it put on her still, but still a laugh nonetheless. '-- i think i'd actually quite like you in the cowboy get-up. those are the ones on the horses, right? or is it the one with the star thing?' she can't help her soft chuckle, her hand reaching over to gently rub over his back, his arm.

'... we'll be okay, mi vida.' that quiet assurance was for both of them, truly. ' i know it's not the way we pictured it, any of this, but ... it's better that we did this now, than when we have our own little family. and besides ...'

she pauses, as the room service knocks on the door, and she slowly eases herself up to sit against the headboard, hand gently pressing at her wound to keep from disrupting it. she felt a slight flush to her cheeks, almost sheepish at the thought of mentioning their own little family, but it was true. and it worsens when he mentions the last time they were in a hotel room like this, her face burning in her embarrassment. ' baby, i never hated you,' she protested, huffing quietly. ' i mean, you were this big burly police guy, who had my file down pat, and ... i mean, okay, i would like to think the first night went better than it could have ...' she felt her face burn at the thought of her hand on his arms, examining the scars he had there, her hand at his chest. god, and he let her do that?

'-- um. the food looks good?' she tried to redirect him, motioning vaguely to the food, but with no avail. she knew he was probably thinking of it too.

“cheeseburger, fries, nachos… i can make that work.” thomas said as he reached over to grab the phone to put their order in. there was this small sense of guilt that thomas carried around with him, and he just hoped that nat wouldn’t notice or bring any attention to it. he felt guilty for having to pick up their lives and move, like it was his fault of a sort. they couldn’t continue to live their lives in danger, not in their city even though that had always been their home. he just wanted to make her happy, to see that smile on her face that stretched from ear to ear and he hoped he could recreate that when they finally reached their destination. after he put their order in, he tucked an arm behind his head and shrugged his shoulders casually. “i’m alright.” he didn’t mind the drive at all and nat needed her sleep, so he didn’t mind doing most of it during the day. “i’m just glad you feel better.” he said with a small smile and a gentle nudge.

“you don’t have to thank me, i’d do it for you in a heartbeat.” a little yawn slipped his lips and he was starting to notice how tired he had become. from packing the car and making sure everything fit to driving out here it took more of a toll on him than he thought it would. “i’m thinking we should be able to get there in a couple of days, depending on how many stops we take.” as much as thomas wanted to rush and get to their new place, he didn’t know the next time that they would have this much time together. they’d both have to start new jobs and he wanted to savor what he could. “i’m thinking a nice stop at the biggest ball of yarn, that’s on the way… and i’m thinking we have to try and food while we’re out here, make a little trip out of all of this.” he said with another smile and a shrug.

as he got comfortable on their bed, he rolled over on his side so he could look at her and gently tucked some hair behind her ears. “we can have a little bit of fun, don’t you think? just me and you on the open road maybe i’ll even get a cowboy hat just for fun.” he teased and shook his head. “it’s still… weird being away from home but i know we’ll be alright.”

when he heard a knock at the door, he got up so he could get their food and brought everything back to their bed. “remember last time we were in a hotel room? i’m pretty sure you hated my guts.” he teased with a wink.

[stellaeforged]

dark eyes lingered on her lover as he spoke, studying him quietly for a moment or two, but she was broken from her trance as he brought her close and kissed her head. there was so much she wanted to say, so many feelings she couldn't quite place or name, but his touch, how he easily wrapped her up in his arms, she felt like he understood without her even admitting to it all. or maybe it was just ... easier, not explaining. to hope it'll pass through her, that it'll sift through her fingers like sand. she'd nod a little to him, albeit dazed. "-- yeah, let's head in," she agreed quietly, hand finding his to gently squeeze as she led them into the hotel after getting luna's carrier.

she set luna's carrier down on the floor once they were in the hotel room and let her out, glancing up to see thomas sprawled out on the plush of the bed. after pulling the curtains closed and taking off her shoes, she would climb onto the bed, settling next to her fiance and leaning back against the headboard. naturally her hand came to card through dark tufts of his hair, gently scratching his scalp as his head rested next to her thigh. ' i think i'll probably do the same, yeah,' she murmured, her other hand taking the menu of the room service, skimming over it. really, she didn't have much of a preference, and even though she saw the menu, she didn't really take in what much of it said. his gentle probe makes her glance down to him, dark brows furrowing slightly in thought. 'i didn't realize i'd slept that long either ...' she trailed off, lips pursing slightly as she considered it. her wound, it was healing, and most of the maintenance she could manage, but she was drained. it reminded her of when she was younger. when wounds like that were commonplace-- the difference between then and now was that she didn't have the chance to rest back then. she didn't sit with the pain, and she didn't like that she could feel it all so deeply, now.

the other difference, though, was that thomas was there.

she caught his smile as he grinned up to her, and she managed a small, loving smile as she brought his hand to her lips and kissed upon his knuckles. the calluses of his palms, the warmth of his hand, it was all him and it felt like home. '-- i could go for a cheeseburger, some fries. if they have some nachos, i think those would be good, too.' she moved a little, slowly easing herself to lay down next to him. '-- what about you, though, querido? you've been driving all day, thank you for that. how are you feeling?'

stellaeforged​:

once the last boxes were shoved into their car, talia paused for a moment, feeling an uncomfortable tug in her stomach. she knew it would stay like that if she didn’t just do it, didn’t rip the bandaid off, but she … she couldn’t. she knew they’d have an idea of what happened. they weren’t stupid. and if she told them even an ounce of any of it … if they knew any of it, they’d get put on the radar, too. if they could use them, they would. and for once, nat hated that she cared so much about it, about them. for the first time in a long time, she wished she could just muster up all of the indifference deep within her to cloak them, to protect them from whatever she brought to their doorstep. if they could say they didn’t know her, that they had no idea of who she was, where she went, maybe, just maybe, they’d actually believe them. 

so when thomas had settled in the car, she tentatively stepped back into the apartment, eyes glazed over yet soaking in each part of it. the stairs creaked, obnoxiously, as she tried to stay light on her feet. most of the paint was chipping on the walls, and the smell of sofrito was strong as it wafted from her abuela’s apartment across from hers. the welcome mat to her tío’s place was ratty and gross, but it had a design that you just couldn’t find anywhere else so he didn’t want to get rid of it. her foot absently kicked at the frayed edges of the mat, hearing the bachata music gently blare from her abuela’s apartment one floor up. she could hear the tv on through her tío’s door, knew that he and his wife were probably there right now, on the other side, innocently watching something together while the kids were playing.  

swallowing down that lump in her throat, she trudged up the next flight of stairs, feeling the tears begin to drip down her cheeks as she heard her abuela humming and singing along to the music. she didn’t know how to make her chicken chile enchiladas. or her empanadas. not with the special touch she had – she promised she was going to tell her either on her deathbed or when nat got married and neither had happened yet, but fuck, she wanted to know, and she didn’t know how to make her trés leches either, and what was she going to do when she had her own kids? how would she –? 

she didn’t know that she had turned and stumbled back down the stairs until she had caught herself against the railing, stifling her sobs with her sleeve as best as she could before sinking down to the stairs. she wasn’t sure how long she sat there, sobbing into her knees, but at some point, she heard the jolt of a doorknob turning, and she quickly rubbed the tears away, a few shuddering breaths slipping through her before she slowly got up to her feet. 

and just like that, she left. 

even though she didn’t want to burden thomas with it, that sadness that clung to her, his gentle question merely urged a small, watery smile to be offered his way. a quiet answer, an answer she couldn’t admit to. ‘– i think i’m just gonna try to sleep for a little,’ she mumbled, curling up tight under the blankets she had at her seat. and at some point, far quicker than normal, she drifted off. 

—– [ short timeskip !! ] ——

she didn’t realize how long she had slept until she felt the gentle jolt of the car door closing ( an attempt from thomas to keep from waking her, she knew ), brow furrowing as she lifted her head from window of the car. ‘– shit, it’s already nighttime? baby, how long did you drive?’ she offered huskily, blearily rubbing at her eyes and grimacing at their puffiness. she felt like shit, honestly, but she didn’t want him to be the only one driving. she began to open her door, seeing that he was standing right by the car. after she stepped out of the car, she’d easily wrap her arms around the broadness of his back, pressing her face into the warmth of his shoulders. god, he always felt warm. safe. after a moment of holding him she’d move to his front, hand gentle as she cradled his cheek. ‘ have you eaten ? would you wanna eat?’  

thomas kept the radio low while nat slept in the passenger seat next to him and as he continued to drive. it wasn’t exactly how he thought day one of them driving would go, but he knew that she needed some sleep. the two of them didn’t get much the night before and if it wasn’t for all of the coffee he was digesting he too would be fast asleep. state after state he continued to drive through, some cities other just green pastures in the middle of nowhere. it took a bit longer than thomas had anticipated and as the sun started to set on their first day, he knew he had to pull over for the night so they could rest up for the next day. before he took another pit stop, he googled a couple hotels in the area and decided to splurge and stop somewhere a little nicer. when they finally arrived, he tried his best to be as quiet as possible when shutting the door so she could get as much sleep as she possibly could. 

when she stirred in the car, thomas looked back with a little smile before shaking his head. “don’t worry about it… i wanted to go a little longer but i’m pretty tired.” he said as he felt her arms wrap around him. he wrapped his arms back around her, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head. “i haven’t eaten anything, but that’s only because we’re gonna eat inside. it’s a nice place, we can order some room service, why not? it’s just for the night.” thomas didn’t mind splurging a bit here and there, especially since it was just for the night and he knew they could both use a nice meal. “we’re in west virginia. nothing extremely exciting but we did pass a lot of farm animals that you missed out on.” he teased as he gently rubbed her back. “but c’mon let’s go relax. bring luna, i had to make sure it was pet friendly.” 

after checking in, thomas was starting to notice just how tired he really was. driving all that time, while nat was sleeping did take a toll on him, but he’d try to stay up a bit so they could eat and catch up. after checking into the room, he brought up their bag and luna as well before flopping don on the bed. “oh man, let me tell you i don’t know what i’d do if we were living out here.” he said with a small chuckle before patting the spot next to him, “get whatever you want. i definitely am getting a burger and a ton of fries.” as he settled in, he tucked an arm behind his head and moved to wrap his free one around her waist. “you feeling okay? you were out like a light… i didn’t sleep much either last night but it’s almost like you didn’t sleep at all.” with the whole week they had, he wasn’t too surprised. everything was happening so quickly that the two of them barely had time to sleep themselves. 

as he rolled over to grab the phone, he gave her another smile. “what are you in the mood for? get whatever you want, we can pig out tonight before we hit the road again in the morning.”