starobsessedgirl - Tumblr blog

[starobsessedgirl]

Live for the Mundaneness of Life

The days whenever I get to have my partner over, and have our moments. It never ceases to amaze me, just how much of a sucker I am for the simple mundane moments.

The long talks in the car that are about the most random topics, going into gas stations or small stores with each other, getting to sleep together and having a simple goodnight kiss.

The way my body apparently reaches for them if they move away (while I'm asleep, I find that incredibly funny), and how he always manages to kick my shin in his sleep.

I live for lazy mornings, waking up besides the person I absolutely adore, and finding him still besides me. Getting to cuddle and give him soft kisses everywhere in his face until he blinks or reacts (and I get scared to wake him up), and when he finally does giving him a nice good morning kiss, and proceeding to lie back down and lazily float in and out of consciousness. Feeling so so so warm, and safe in his presence.

Getting up and making us breakfast, while he wraps his arms around my waist and we playfully argue over how to cook eggs (CAUSE HE'S GROSS AND LIKE WET AND PARTIALLY RAW, FUCKING RAW EGGS) and going and sitting up on the counter, and he comes up and has to stand on his tippy toes to give me a kiss on my cheek.

I live for the moments like this, a sample of the life I crave so desperately to have. To have the luxury to have these mundane moments everyday and being able for them to become my normal.

Live for the mundane, and you'll find the peacefulness in this calamity of chaos and trouble in this world.

[starobsessedgirl]

How Interesting Life is

I just wanted to ramble (firstly) about how interesting life is.

TW: EDs and SU1C1D@L IDEATION

I used to be homeschooled as a kid, and honestly that was the worst thing I could've experienced. While my education was sufficient, my social skills were severely suffering. I was only friends with my siblings, and I never learned how to actually make friends.

So whenever I finally got enrolled in public school (in 8th grade) in middle of nowhere small town school, that was.... rough. I made "friends", but not actual friends. It was honestly a miracle I wasn't bullied (but I was made fun of, thankfully I was too naive to know). I would get the popular guys who would have their friends "ask me out", but obviously as a joke. Thankfully, I never accepted and always made fun of them in return (aka, absolutely amazing middle school comebacks, for me at least)

Then I left that school. I stayed there for 8th-10th grade. And leaving has been the best choice I've ever made. My life finally improved, and I've grown and learned so much. For that first year I didn't suffer from my seasonal depression, and I was finally okay with myself. After years of suicidal ideation, and eating disorders, I was finally okay.

I started expressing myself through my hair color, started being more confident, and never needed makeup to feel pretty. I started dating my partner (we're still together) and started being okay again.

I believe if I stayed at that school I wouldn't be alive still. It nearly took my life 9th and 10th grade, it's a miracle I'm still alive.

But now, I'm graduating (soon), I'm set up for an honors college at my dream college, I've got a steady job (where they sometimes are okay), I'm going on 2 years with someone who i genuinely adore and love, someone who has taught me love, and it's all because my life didn't end when I was 14:)