stardustiings-blog

[stardustiings-blog]

rougedd:

. || cassian

              Pain was a sensation that built Cassian from the ground up. He’d given his blood, sweat, & tears for the rebellion, and it all started when he’d just begun to understood what the EMPIRE was — what it meant for his family and the people living around him. Thrust into the fight at only SIX YEARS OLD, Cassian had been given little to no room in the rebellion. He’d learned how to breathe in vacuums of despair as b l o o d coated his hands and drained out of the people he’d grown up with — fought with — cared for. It was defining, to stand back up when the EMPIRE no doubt siezed control once more and Cassian had learned to push back despite all odds.

              But the REBELLION held its fair share of evils, and Cassian had pulled the trigger on civilians for what he believed to be the good of the war ( but was it really? ) The art of war gave him a painter’s touch, but he’d used the blood of his allies to color the walls. The rebellion was in him, through and through, and it was a lullaby he sang to push through the days: he followed orders, he did what was necessary.

              Pain was a feeling that shook his hands as he wrapped his fingers around Jyn’s arms. They were solid, here, on the shore of Scarif, having beaten back the Empire. He felt an exhaustion that was unparalleled, like he hadn’t slept in the last twenty years and he was finally drifting off, a certain type of peace washing over him. He knew no one was coming, he knew their mission ended here, but as he kept his eyes on Jyn, he didn’t care.

              He’d followed orders for as long as he could remember, never knowing if anything he did really mattered. For years, it only seemed like the Empire was consuming more, a parasite destroying its host —– all the Rebellion did was R U N. But finally, the engorged rulers of the GALAXY had consumed more than their fill, and they had set off a series of events that would rupture the Empire from the belly out. That was all Cassian could have ever hoped for — progress.

              “I know.” But he was still looking at her.

        There was a whole galaxy that expanded past the shores of SCARIF. There were stars and planets, whole words that existed just out of reach. As a child Jyn had laid on her back and tried to touch the stars, confident that some of the dust would fall on her fingers. She had listened to every story that her father had spun, knowing that one day all of space would be hers for the taking. That had been when she was young. Naive. Tragedy and time had choked some of that joy from her but it had NEVER taken her hope. Nothing could, it seemed. Not even now when the end was coming so quickly.

How strange, to know that you would die before the sun had even set in the sky.

           There was a whole galaxy out there with millions of billions of people and creatures, and yet, Jyn Erso had the honor of dying alongside Cassian Andor. Something had drawn them together, lines of fate tangling them together. If Jyn had been dispositioned any other way she would have asked why it was cruel enough to knot their ropes at the end, but she wasn’t. Instead she clung to the friends she had met and the makeshift family she had found for the first time since her own was so brutally ripped away.

How strange, to die before you ever really got the chance to fully live.

         Above them hung the DEATH STAR, the Erso family’s final legacy. For all that Galen & Lyra had contributed, their one greatest accomplishment that would forever tie them to history was something of such destruction. History would forget their names. They would go down as soldiers lost in a long and bloody fight and that would be it. When Jyn died there would be no one left to remember her. She would be just as insubstantial as the stardust she had tried to catch as a child. Perhaps that was what she would become: stardust. It was a nice thought to combat the spasms of pain.

Galen Erso. Lyra Erso. Saw Guerrera. Bodhi Rook. Chirrut Îmwe. Baze Malbus. K-2SO.

         Jyn kept repeating their names in her head, a mantra as she waited for the inevitable. They were gone, but for as long as she was breathing someone was going to remember them. Somebody was going to mourn the people who had lived behind the names.

Galen Erso. Lyra Erso. Saw Guerrera. Bodhi Rook. Chirrut Îmwe. Baze Malbus. K-2SO.

        Light eyes flickered over to him then, meeting the brown hues that were trained on her face. They were caked in blood and sweat and grime, but Jyn had never been so glad to see the face of another before. It was a struggle to breathe, a struggle to force words out of her mouth and yet she did. She painted their last minutes with questions and words because she wanted to use some before she ran out.

                                       ❝ Out there. ❞  -- a ragged breath --                            ❝ The person listening. What do you think they’re like? ❞  

[stardustiings-blog]

@rougedd

      There was something beautiful about the end. It was strange -- JYN ERSO had never thought that there could be anything related to beauty around death. She had first seen it when she was a child. It was cruel that during her formative years she had to witness tragedy up close, but she hadn’t known then it would only be the first of many. Her mother. LYRA. Dead on the grass. It would be years before she saw her father die as well. GALEN ERSO: a traitor? a scientist? a genius? To her he would always be the man who had nicknamed her STARDUST and told her that anything was possible. For years she had resided on the HOPE that he was out there, somewhere. Now she knew he wasn’t.

       It was going to be soon.

        Everything hurt. Blood was pooling in the sand around them, and it was impossible to tell from who it was stemming. She had witnessed what she thought to be Cassian’s death. A man, her FRIEND, falling and smacking and laying still. He wasn’t though, even if the rest of their team was. They were the last of ROGUE ONE, and now even their moments were limited. 

      It was going to be soon.

       She wasn’t scared though. She had seen too much death to be scared. Even if this was hers end, it was the beginning of HOPE through the EMPIRE. What they had done was vital. It had given them a chance to break the reign of VADER and those like him. Besides, Jyn didn’t want to live anymore if it meant that the Empire was still in control. Someone, somewhere, was listening. Water lapped against the sand, not making it to where her knees were pressed into the grains. Cassian was next to her, body warm and solid even though she knew he was suffering.

        It was going to be soon.

       It took a moment to speak, pain hitching her breath and stopping her words. She got them out though, eyes trained on the horizon as a second object glowed in the sky above them. Not the sun, not the moon, not---

       ❝ It’s beautiful. ❞  

[stardustiings-blog]

rougedd:

. || anakin

               Anakin listened for the crafts flying above —- once the sound reached his ears, he knew their time was coming to a close. He’d slipped out without notifying anyone, even OBI WAN, but it was the at the most opportune time. The JEDI COUNCIL commenced while the JEDI MASTERS did something Anakin would hopefully soon be joining. But it gave him a window of time to sneak out and meet with Padme, even if he had a reoccurring habit of being late. He kept track of the crafts that flew over head to keep himself on a clock. As a Padawan, he didn’t have a lot of leeway in what he could do or where he could go, at least without the supervision of Obi Wan —- and yet the one thing he could do was keep Obi Wan in the dark. Everyone in the dark. But that also meant Anakin couldn’t have anyone asking where he was or what he was doing. 

               As another craft barreled overhead, Anakin instinctively looked up, seeing the crafts despite the thick walls that hid him and Padme. It was like dusk closing down another day and Anakin always hated to see the night. When his eyes met hers again, he opened his mouth to speak but her words stopped him and the hard lines of a frown remained. He didn’t want to push her, but Anakin wanted to know. Wanted to ease whatever plagued her mind. Despite not knowing what bothered her, Anakin still felt the turmoil reflect in his own chest. Even if this was still new to them, even though they hadn’t spent as much time together as he would have liked, Anakin still felt so in tuned to her. It was overwhelming but he welcomed it. 

               For a moment all he could do was part his lips, the words he was going to speak before having died at the back of his throat. He couldn’t tell Obi Wan, his brother, his mentor. Obi Wan’s only love in this world was the Jedi Order, the way of the FORCE. Obi Wan was his best friend but Anakin couldn’t trust what Obi Wan would do with this information. If you would just follow the Jedi Code! But Anakin wasn’t just disobeying the code, he was breaking his vows. 

             “Master Obi-Wan cannot know.” 

               Anakin and Padme had already promised each other they wouldn’t be doing this —– sneaking into desolate areas to see each other —— falling in love. They weren’t supposed to be sneaking around like this, but Anakin hadn’t let that stop him and he was glad she felt the same way. Hearing her tell him she loved him, it was like submerging his body in ice water — absolutely shocking. But he craved it, needed it. Their love was forbidden and it threatened who he was trying to become every day he thought of her, but he’d continue to submerge himself —- because loving her was all he needed. 

               “If he ever discovered us, I fear what he may do.            Becoming a Jedi is all I’ve ever wanted — until I met you.”

            It was never enough. Every stolen second, every stolen kiss... It was never enough.  Padme Amidala did not consider herself to be a greedy person. She was levelheaded from her experience and and cool in her demeanor. And yet, for some reason, she was insatiable around Anakin and Anakin alone. He had opened something inside of her ( something that she had never realized needed to be unlocked ) and now she was changed. As another jet flew overhead, Padme disentangled herself slightly from Anakin. Head titled up, she watched the bottom of it vanish from view before a sigh left her mouth.

           Meetings, meet with Anakin, more meetings. She would now return to her duties, the unflappable Senator once more. Padme loved what she did. She loved knowing that she was making a difference in protecting LIBERTY across the galaxy. It didn’t mean that there weren’t challenges from her job though. Yes, them being exposed would affect Anakin due to his vows. It also would not reflect well on the older senator who had seduced him away from his duties either. It was best for the both of them to remain undiscovered, even though a part of Padme would continue to be curious as to what would happen if they would.

          ❝ Of course. It’s for the best. ❞  

         The words left her mouth quickly. Perhaps too quickly. Anakin’s training was important to him and Padme would never ask him to put her before that. For as much as she loved him, she wanted the best for him and the best would be his following his born call to follow the FORCE. Padme would never ask him to walk away from that for her, just as she knew that she had to remain true to her responsibilities.  The real world continued to spin around them, unfazed by their love affair. It was unforgiving, making the seconds past quicker and quicker.

         Slipping into herself once more ( the person she had trained herself to be ), Padme quickly checked to make sure that no hair had come out of place in her unnecessarily complicated updo. Her dress was still pressed, layers and layers of fabric falling exactly where they were supposed to. From the outside she would seem as she always had, even though she was constantly at war with herself inside.

        ❝ Perhaps I’ll come late next time. ❞  

[stardustiings-blog]

rougedd:

.|| kes

              Kes held no ill barrings toward his own life, but growing up in the fist of the EMPIRE had made joyful moments fleeting and hard to find. He’d only had a few, true moments in his life and really made him feel like he had purpose. Like he belonged here. When he was introduced to the REBEL FIGHTERS, he’d been given something to do. He could fight for a cause he wholly believed in, and he dedicated his life to it. It kept him going the longest, even when the EMPIRE seemed to make headway on the REBEL forces, Kes kept pushing back because this cause went down to his bones. Through and through he would die for the Rebellion. 

             He’d met Shara Bey through a mutual friend —- someone he considered his brother by arms instead of by blood. After his death, Kes knew a part of him died too, but the greatest gift he’d ever been given was right there by his side, even when she wasn’t. Even when they were galaxies apart, he still felt her near him — she was his warmth on his coldest days. 

            And finally, Kes felt that joy again. His mission, his love —– these were all pieces of a puzzle that made Kes Dameron the person he was. All Shara’s pregnancy did was fulfill him even more. He had no idea how they would raise a child in the midst of war, how they would protect it —- but the one thing the two of them were good at was fighting for what they loved: each other, the freedom in the galaxy, and now their child. 

           “If it’s a girl, we could name her after you, become a pilot for something other than the REBELLION.”

            It was a small smile that took place of his grin; Kes could only hope they would have dismantled the EMPIRE by the time their baby was brought into this G A L A X Y.

           The moment Shara had heard of the impending GALACTIC CIVIL WAR she had known that it was something she had to be a part of. The days of EMPIRE REIGN had been long & hard. The Empire had tried to crush out everything that didn’t go in accordance to its own plan, and the first time Shara had slid on her pilots uniform she knew that she had found what she needed to do. That’s what realizing she was having the baby felt like. It was a bit daunting and maybe a little frightening too, but something had clicked into place. She knew what the next part of her life would involve.

         Flying an A-Wing was easy ( to shara at least ). She knew what to do and what lever to push and when to pull up. She was so familiar with it that it was like second nature to her, something she could do with her eyes closed. Falling for KES hadn’t been that easy. It wasn’t levers and controls it was emotions and feelings, thoughts that ran away from her even when she didn’t want them to. For as long as she lived she’d remember the friend who connected him. She’d remember the day she and KES had held each other because of his passing as well. They weren’t just fellow troops or soldiers. They were a team, a tightly knit unit. Now they would be a family.

                        ❝ After me? Not a chance. We can name it after YOU if you want if it’s a boy,                            but it doesn’t need to be named after ME. ❞  

           The one thing that she knew though was that her child would know how to fly. She tried not to think about the fact that her parents had lived and died by the EMPIRE. They had never been able to fly or feel what it was like when the ground dipped away from you and all that was left was you and the stars. Their baby would. It would see the stars so closely that it looked like they could be reached. That was freedom.

[stardustiings-blog]

                                               i know nothing with any certainty                                          but the sight of the stars makes me d r e a m.

[stardustiings-blog]

                                                         don’t burn me                                             because i have a heart of fiery gold.

                                                i am e t h e r e a l to the skin,                                             and i am breathing constellations,

                                               so you can not destroy stars.                                                   you can not destroy me.

[stardustiings-blog]

                                                           i am atlas                                                    the weight of the world                                                  c r u s h e s my shoulders

                                                         it’s so heavy                                                         i’m so heavy

[stardustiings-blog]

( star wars / rey, padmé, jyn & leia )

                                                           w o m e n    o f      t h e    g a l a x y.

[stardustiings-blog]

La amo. #starwars #rey

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“I was once the Empire’s prisoner. Look at me now.” - Star Wars: Princess Leia (2015)

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rougedd:

. || kes dameron

     His heart was suddenly very audible in his ears, a steady thrumming that echoed through him. Was this real? He brushed his fingers back and forth against the flight suit that seperated her bare skin from his own and he tried to picture what it could be. A girl, maybe? His mind ran the endless possibilities —- she would be fierce like her mother, fearless like her father. He thought of a boy, and wondered if he’d become a pilot or a soldier, or maybe he wouldn’t want to be part of the RESISTANCE at all?

     It dawned on him all at once—— why they’d never discussed kids. They’d been together long enough, maybe it hadn’t come up because both of them harbored the same thoughts. What kind of life could they provide a child when both parents were loyal to the cause? He thought of the Empire, how easily the Storm Troopers cut people down like fodder, no second thoughts. Kes couldn’t help it. He was trained to find every avenue to every idea, to think of the best — and worst possibilities. 

     Which led his thoughts to who their child could become. They’d created something W O N D E R F U L, a strong fighter who would no doubt follow in their parent’s footsteps. It brought a soft smile to Kes’s lips to imagine watching their child grow and become the person he already knew them to be. 

     A soft laugh left his throat at her words, “we’re going to be parents.” his voice was low, quiet. Then his eyes came to meet hers and he repeated his words, this time with a rejuvenized excitement. “We’re going to be parents!” he suddenly wrapped her arms around her, pulling her tight to him and he spun them both around, only stopping once he remembered that she wasn’t feeling all that great. Setting her down, he didn’t let anything break the drive. 

     “We should think of names.”

           There was so much that was going to factor into having a child. They would need a name, yes. They would also need clothing for an infant and a bed. She would have to stop flying ( at some point ) and that meant she had to request a leave of absence. Everyone would notice that she was pregnant and it wouldn’t be something that they could hide. WAIT --- why would she want to hide it? It was a BABY. Hers. With KES. That was something to be CELEBRATED even if it also TERRIFIED Shara.

     REBELLIONS WERE BUILT ON HOPE. An old friend had said that before his death, and his words still hung heavily in Shara’s mind. CHILDREN were HOPE incarnated. There would be some fear of the unknown ( more than she felt when flying into a war zone, ironically ) but there would also be hope. That thought was all that she needed to momentarily quiet her mind. The strategist in Shara needed one place to start and the rest could be derived from there. She’d focus on the hope and let it eat out the fear that wanted to cloud her mind.

                      ❝ A name does seem like a pretty good place to start, doesn’t it?                                We may need a gender before we pick one out though.❞  

       They had some time. She was pregnant, but she had to be less than two months along. They could figure out names & what they wanted to do. Shara would talk to GENERAL ORGANA and explain that she was as dedicated to the rebellion as always. She just had to be dedicated to her child first. The one thing that filled her with relief was how in-sync she and KES remained. They both knew the DANGERS of the world that they lived in, and yet, never for a second had eliminating the child crossed Shara’s mind. It was hers and it was her duty to protect it. Boy or girl, good or bad. They had a DUTY to their unborn child. If there was one thing Shara understood, it was duty.

     She reached out, fingers intertwining with Kes’ in a reassuring squeeze. They were going to be fine. No. They were going to be BETTER than fine. They were going to make a family.

[stardustiings-blog]

rougedd:

. || anakin

             Anakin couldn’t help but laugh, the sound so uncompromised, so unburdened. Her words lit a fire inside of him, kept him warm while they were apart. Some weeks they would go without seeing each other because of the demands of his training, and Anakin fully understood that he was the reason they had to find the most isolated areas of Coruscant (  which was hard enough as it was ). He knew that if the JEDI COUNCIL discovered he’d broken his vows long before taking them, he’d be disbanded from the training —- he’d never be allowed to finish the trials and rise to Jedi MASTER. It was what he wanted, to become the most powerful JEDI the G A L A X Y had ever known, and yet he risked it all. Risked it all and knew he’d have zero regrets if he lost it. The force would always be with him, he was the greatest force sensitive being to be born —– he didn’t need the title of JEDI to wield that power. 

              But he needed Padme. If he could spend hours in her presence, he would. But he lived in these brief moments he had with her, and those were good enough for him. 

             “I would follow you into the dark, Padme.” he would go wherever she called. 

        “About what?” that ease he had around her slipped a bit, “Is something bothering you?” He pulled back as far as the small space would allow so he could meet her eyes. Maybe most would call it an infatuation, but Anakin could get lost in her — it was too easy. Which is why he reacted so intensely to every micro emotion, every possible dip in her mood. 

           One hand rose to flick that  ( ridiculous ) braid that the Padwan’s wore off of his shoulder as Padme was unable to stop a quiet laugh from escaping her chest. She had never imagined what it would be like to be in love until she was suddenly enveloped by it. It possessed the potential to be all consuming if she would let it, but the POLITICIAN in Padme always tried to keep her feet a n c h o r e d on the ground. She had more than just herself to think of, didn’t she? At least, it was what she tried to remind herself when ANAKIN invaded her thoughts and stole her mind from whatever task was on hand.

          She didn’t want to say it. About them. About what they were going to do when something goes wrong ( as it so inevitably does ) and they were discovered. Instead she just reached up on her toes, kissing the tip of his nose.

                                                  ❝ FORGET IT. I’ve decided that                                              I don’t want to think about that right now.                                                       I LOVE YOU & you love me.                                                     --- That is all that there is to it. ❞  

Something was bothering her and would most likely continue to do so. For all that she loved ANAKIN, Padme had never been great with the unknown. She liked to be one step behind and not unsure of where to go next. Perhaps she would have to let that go. Still, she couldn’t help but ask:

                                                 ❝ And OBI-WAN still has no clue? ❞  

[stardustiings-blog]

…liar

[stardustiings-blog]

Come on. You want me to stay because of the way you feel about me.