i shitpost way too much & i'm constantly having an existential crisis. special ed para - twenty six
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In my recent game I came across some dialogue from Gale I've not seen before, despite this being my 500000000th romance with this man. So we meet Lorroakan for the first time and convince him that Aylin is dead. Speaking to Gale, I think, ok, he's going to be like "hey what a shit wizard" or "what an arrogant little twat" because we've already seen his rubbish projections and it's Lorroakan, come on. Then Gale says this:
Yes, he falls short of - wait. What? Gale is roasting Lorroakan not for his magical skills. He is incensed by his inability to use multiple sources to verify information.
This absolute nerd is more pissed about having too few citations than the fact that Lorroakan is an amoral little jerk that wants to torturously leech off of an aasimar's soul for his own immortality.
I -
Gale, please never change. I love you, you ridiculous dork.
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Therapy helps, but you know what would completely fix me? An image of Neve Gallus kissing a female/feminine Rook.
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Golden Girls providing love and open compassion for everyone ✨🐿️💞
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Karlach: Good morning, Astarion. How are you?
Astarion: Can't complain.
Tav: Oh, I think you can. Just give it a minute.
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Haley: *Pointing at Sebastian* We can't manipulate, Haley: *Pointing at Alex* mansplain, Haley: *Pointing at Sam* or malewife our way out of here. Abigail: *Wielding a sword* MANSLAUGHTER IT IS THEN
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haley stardewvalley but make it sabrina carpenter
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Somebody translated the infernal runes face tattoo that you can put on your character and the runes on the forhead literally just spell "forhead", the runes on the nose spell "nose" and the runes on the chin say "chin"

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ahhhh yet another day where I could be Actually Playing BG3 but I'm probably going to spend 3 hours playing Faerun Barbie instead
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The way people make fun of Gale for being reasonably upset if you break up, or cheat on him and call him manipulative for it rubs me the wrong way for some reason.
How is being upset and wanting a committed relationship manipulative? And how is it his fault for talking about Mystra maybe a few times in game when she groomed and manipulated him?
But it's okay, she's a "girlboss", right?
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When you're in a writing mood but also falling asleep
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
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I'm not sure I can express this sentiment strongly enough, but I'm going to try via the medium of large bolded text.
Write what the fuck you want.
Write what makes you happy. Write what makes your soul sing. Write what fucks you up and makes you cry. Write what comforts you. Write what distracts you. Write what you want to read. Write what you want to watch.
Write what you want to dream about tonight.
Write what you can't get enough of. Write what you're completely obsessed with. Write what wakes you up at 4am and drags you out of bed because you can't stop thinking about what your characters are going to do next.
Write what turns you on, if that's your vibe. Write characters you're in love with and characters who inspire you and characters you want to be friends with and characters you fucking hate but oh my god they're so much fun.
Write about things you would sell your soul to do in real life and things you would never do in real life. Write about things that are happening right now and things that happened a thousand years ago and things that might happen in the future and things you wish could happen.
Write to get a publishing deal or to sell your books yourself or not to sell your books at all. Write for your friends or for strangers or for the people who reblog your posts on Tumblr and send you songs that remind them of your characters.
Write for yourself.
Fuck any system that tells you there's only one right way to create or one valid way to share your writing. Your story, the way you tell it, has so much value. Make people smile or piss people off or do both of those things because art is divisive and fascinating and beautiful.
Start writing. Keep writing. And write what the fuck you want.
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self indulgent haley (stardew valley) stimboard!
x x x / x x x / x x x
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