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starcrossedimbecile · 3 years

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Femboy Hooters

The imagine(?) is finally here! It's slightly male x male, and it involves some of my original characters (OCs)! It's also a crackfic (though taken somewhat seriously), but I hope you enjoy!

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I laid in bed staring at the ceiling. Today I was supposed to be starting my first day at work at Femboy Hooters. It was a new joint that just opened up not far from where I lived, and it was honestly the stupidest shit I've ever heard. And yet Baba somehow managed to talk me into applying for a job there. He wouldn't stop talking about it, saying how amazing it was and that "I should TOTALLY get a job there."

I hesitated at first, but I eventually caved in. I applied for a job, went to the interview, and they pretty much hired me on the spot. They told me that I was "perfect" for the job. As much as I hate to admit it, it was actually a pretty good ego boost hearing that in spite of my overall opinion on Femboy Hooters. And besides, I've gotta earn money somehow.

As I laid in bed doing absolutely nothing, my phone buzzed. I lazily picked it up and stared into its almost mesmerizing glowing screen. It was a text from Anzu.

Bitch-ass Springtail mofo🌚: Hey Ken, I heard you got a job at Femboy Hooters.

How the hell did he know about... that? Oh, Baba probably told him. The little bitch doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut.

You: Yeah, I'm supposed to be starting today. I've gotta leave in a few minutes.

Bitch-ass Springtail mofo🌚: I see. Well, I'll see you there, I guess?

Damn, Anzu sure is quick to reply. Wait, what does he mean by that?

You: What?

Bitch-ass Springtail mofo🌚: Uh... You'll see. And when you do, PLEASE don't laugh. Already got enough of that from Rei.

You: Um... Okay? Well, I've gotta go now. If I don't, I'll be late.

Bitch-ass Springtail mofo🌚: Alright. See you there.

I turn off my phone and stuff it in my pocket. I put on my shoes and toss on a generic black jacket over my generic t-shirt and walk out the door. I get in my car and set my phone's GPS to the Femboy Hooter's location and drive off.

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I arrive at the Femboy Hooters, which looks like every other Hooters with the word "Femboy" slapped onto it. I assumed it must be some new chain Hooters decided to open, as if the original wasn't doing well enough (albeit not because of the food).

I exit my car and lock it with a sigh, walking up to the building before being stopped by a guy standing at the door. Wait, they have bouncers? I thought this was some low-class restaurant, not a fucking club.

"Excuse me," the guy spoke. "We don't open for another-- wait, are you Kendric?"

"Yes, I am. And..." I let out an audible gulp, swallowing my hesitation. "I... work here."

"Oh! You're the new guy, right?! Right this way~."

Suddenly, the guy took me by the hand and led me inside, where I was soon met by a guy who was a bit taller than I was. He wore professional-looking clothes, but dressed in a way you'd probably expect a woman desperate for head to wear them. Uh, to put it simply, he dressed somewhat like a woman. And in all honesty, I was pretty fucking intimidated by him. I mean... from the looks of it, he might be the goddamn manager of this place! I definitely don't wanna get on his bad side.

"Ah, you must be Kendric!" He spoke in a slightly feminine tone, which threw me off-guard. "Welcome to Femboy Hooters. I'm Aiden, and I'm the manager here. It's a pleasure to meet you."

He extended an arm for a handshake, and I shakily accepted it, trembling in my own skin for some reason. "I-It's nice to meet you, too, Aiden..." I spoke, but my voice cracked like a little bitch.

"Oh, there's no need to be nervous. It'll take some time, but you'll get used to everything here soon enough," he reassured me, which helped me to relax a bit.

Aiden then handed me a bundle of clothes, which I immediately recognized as the uniform I was supposed to wear. "Here's your clothes. You're going to be a waiter here. You can change into these in the employee bathroom."

"Um... Thank you, sir. Err..."

"Sir is fine."

"Right... Thank you."

After that, I headed to the bathroom to get changed, entering an empty stall and locking it thereafter. I stripped out of my clothes and into the uniform, which immediately made me feel embarrassed as fuck. The "uniform" was a small revealing(?) white tank top with the Femboy Hooters logo on it coupled by a pair of tight, orange booty shorts that I swear to god revealed the bulge of my dick.

I can't believe Baba talked me into this. I think I'm gonna commit toaster bath. Or maybe step on a lego and die.

...Eh, I guess if the other employees will be wearing this, then I guess it's not that bad. I'm probably just being overcritical.

Letting out a deep sigh, I exit the bathroom. I happened to notice a few of the other employees (who looked oddly familiar) and decide to see what they were up to. Sure enough, some of these employees were people I knew, but the one that really caught my attention was the small winter springtail standing at the bar—Anzu.

Anzu was wearing the same uniform as, well, everyone else, and I almost burst into laughter. I know I had no place to laugh at him, but he looked so ridiculous in it! There was no way I could look at him without desperately trying to stifle my laughter.

"God dammit, you said you wouldn't laugh!" Anzu shot a glare at me as he spoke, his small insect arms making their way to his hips.

"A-Actually, I didn't," I responded through stifled laughter.

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. You're wearing the same thing, too, you know."

"I... I know, but..." I took a deep breath in attempt to get myself to calm down. "It's just... You're so tiny! And it just... You look hilarious."

"What does being small have to do with anything?!"

At this point, Anzu seemed pissed, which told me that I should probably back off. It wasn't until Junpei walked over to us and tried to calm us down, her bug antennae bobbing as she did. She had the body of a human male, just like me, but had antennae extending out of her head. It's kind of like what you'd see in a kitsune or okami, where their animal ears stick out of their head, if you know what I mean.

"Come now, is it really necessary to fight? I'm sure Kendric didn't mean to laugh at you."

"What?! I... He... Err... I guess you have a point."

"Very good. And Kendric, apologize to Anzu for making fun of him."

As much as I didn't want to apologize, I knew that that was the only thing I could do in this situation. So reluctantly...

"I...I'm sorry, Anzu, for making fun of you..."

"Alright, I suppose I can't stay mad at you. I forgive you," Anzu replies.

That went surprisingly well.

After that incident, a large, muscular ant-like creature walked over to us. "Alright, they're about to open up this place!" he shouted. "So get busy! I'll be in the kitchen if any of you need help."

"Ah, well, I guess we'd better get to work. Take care!" Junpei waved to us, then left. I watched her walk away before I felt a cold hand resting on my shoulder, causing me to jump.

"Ack! Hey, get your hands off of--" I was about to turn around and roundhouse kick the owner of the hand before I locked gazes with the ant. He looked big looking at him from a distance, but now he was practically towering over me. Holy shit.

"There's no need to be alarmed. You're the new kid, right?"

"U-Um... Yeah." I gulped as I spoke.

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Alexei, one of the chefs here."

"K-Kendric. I'm Kendric."

"I see. Well, don't get discouraged during your first few days working here. You'll eventually get used to it."

"Ah... Thank you." As soon as I'd said that, Alexei nodded and began walking over to the kitchen and entering. I sighed as I turned to the sound of one of the main doors opening and closing in the distance. Oh, it's a customer.

Shaking off my anxiousness, I approached the customer as they took a seat. The customer was a man around my age who had dark purple hair with a small tuft of white highlights around his right ear. The clothes he wore were almost classy, as though he was a businessman of sorts. If he's that professional, assuming he is, then what the fuck is he doing at a place like this?

Anyway, before I could take the time to think of a response, his indigo eyes met my topaz ones and began to speak.

"Ah, hello there. Come to take my order?"

Holy fuck. Holy fuck. Was this guy seriously talking to me? I mentally panicked. I was never good at talking to people. I have no idea what to say! Frantically, my gaze darted around the room. I happened upon Junpei, who was also taking an order. She was talking to them in such a strange manner, but perhaps...

I turned to the man and began to speak.

"Hello! Welcome to Femboy Hooters~!✨ How may I help you today~?"

He simply chuckled. "Aha, someone seems awfully happy today. I'd just like a Pepsi and a grilled cheese."

I flustered a bit at his response, but took his order nonetheless. "Wonderful! Will that be all~?"

"Hmm... Yep. That's it. Unless..."

"U-Unless...?" What the fuck? What was that about? A hypothesis came to mind, causing me to fluster a bit more... before he laughed again.

"Nah, I'm just teasing. But that's about it for my order."

I let out a relieved sigh and nodded. "Very well. Your order will arrive shortly~!✨"

After that, I made my way towards the kitchen area to give the chefs the order. In all my life, I'd never expected for something that... strange... to happen. And Junpei wasn't making anything better, either.

"Hey Ken, were you about to get some head over there?" she asked in the worst teasing tone imaginable.

"Ugh, Junpei, you're being fucking ridiculous." I will admit, though, he did seem a bit attractive. Dunno if he's straight though.

Junpei laughed at my response. "Whatever you say."

I sent her an annoyed glare as she walked away, but recovered quickly. Before I knew it, the chefs had finished the man's order and handed his dish and Pepsi to me through the window. I carefully took it and made my way to him.

"Here you go! A grilled cheese and Pepsi, just like you ordered~!✨"

"That was fast. Thanks, sweetheart."

Sweetheart? Holy shit, he was definitely flirting with me. At this point, I couldn't help but blush at his statement.

"Ah, there's no need to feel shy. I'm Dmitri Ashford, by the way. I'll definitely be coming here more often."

Somehow, just hearing his voice made me calm down a bit. Feeling my embarrassment wash away, I began to speak. "I-I'm Kendric. It's nice to meet you."

"A pleasure to meet you, too, Kendric. Perhaps I'll be seeing you tomorrow?"

"Y-Yeah... I'd like that."

"Wonderful. Well, I guess I shouldn't be holding you up. I suppose you have more customers to attend to."

"Yeah. Well... I'll see you later, then!"

"Without a doubt."

We waved before I departed. In the distance, I could make out Junpei's faint chuckles. God fucking dammit.

I guess I'll be looking forward to working here every day after that encounter.

#original characters #ocs #anzu #alexei #junpei #kendric #dmitri ashford #imagine #fanfiction #crack fic #crack treated seriously #femboy hooters #femboy #cross posted on ao3 #male x male

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