starcrier

[starcrier]

Emlenton, Pennsylvania, USA

[starcrier]

the writer’s urge to ask your friends “do you wanna see a little somethin’ i’ve been working on?” when the little somethin’ you’ve been working on is 800 words and ends in the middle of a sentence

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the eyes of someone who just vomited carry a vulnerable acceptance to grief only known in portraits of saints

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What media should children be watching

they should have 10 vhs tapes they watch over and over again

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Puts my gun on the table everyone groans cuz it has to be used before the night is over and now everyone knows its act 1

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concept for a tv show: a cute simple love story between an assistant and a chauffeur or bodyguard or whatever else rich people have and in the background the rich people are having the wildest telenovela level drama that we only catch glimpses of

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Annie Stegg - "The Axolotl Parade"

(14x18 inches, oils on copper panel)

Store — Gallery Gerard

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we need to be doing everything in our power to acquire and consume tiramisu

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i’m curious what arbitrary and specific flavors people dislike are. rb and tag a Taste you simply don’t fuck with. for flavor reasons not texture reasons. for me? i do not like elderflower or caraway for whatever reason

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Every poll on this blog is about fictional characters only. This request was sent to us and we made a poll in response to it. Send any Blorbo-related question you want to our inbox and we’ll make a poll on which people can vote with their own Blorbos in minds

[starcrier]

scars in fiction: I got this trying to save my lover from an assassin- but tragically, I was too late. now I carry the mark of my failure with me always, and I can never forget~

scars in real life: so I was trying to open macaroni sauce with a paring knife

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highly recommend keeping a small portrait of a historical figure who met a grisly end on your work desk. for perspective.

[starcrier]

Spirit Halloween is defrosting as we speak

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i gotta know about the world’s nastiest lemonade. feels like a story there.

get ready to have your mind blown by how uninteresting this story is BUT too late you already asked i’m walling you up inside my wine cellar as we speak —

once upon a time this past december i was on the post-Christmas 3-day vacation i take with my family every year to a popular tourist trap in the Pigeon Forge-Sevierville-Gatlinburg area in the Smokey Mountains where Dolly Parton hails from. (highly recommended, i also honeymooned there.)

this incident would have passed completely from my memory, except i was a few weeks into my second trimester of pregnancy, and crucially, i had been MISERABLY sick the entire time. (i would continue to be miserably sick up until i was actively delivering my baby, but laboring under the misapprehension that it would soon be over now that i’d passed 13 weeks was what carried me through lol)

however, because i was in my second trimester, it had been deemed safe enough for me to take The Good Nausea Drugs That Actually Work instead of the home remedies considered safe for the first trimester that, regrettably, did nothing for me.

So having taken one of these meds, i was feeling well enough to be out shopping at the one of the millions of little novelty stores in this area, and my husband and i stumbled across a candy shop. To reiterate, this was the first day, literally, since i peed on a stick and found out the greatest thing that has ever happened to me was about to happen that i had not been constantly on the edge of puking my guts up. it was bliss.

my state of euphoria only increased when i discovered this candy shop had LEMONADE. FLAVORED lemonade, and you could add boba, or fruit pearls!!! i love lemonade anyway, and as we passed this shop the craving hit me like a brick to the face. (it would have been more pleasant.)

so we went in, my husband loaded up on like thirty different kinds of fudge and i ordered myself a large raspberry lemonade with cherry pearls. i mean this sucker was HUGE. this being the area it was, it was extremely overpriced, but i didn’t care, it looked delicious and i was SO excited.

we went outside and i took a huge sip and immediately i was like. hmm. because it was SUPER sweet. and that would have been fine — i’d knowingly ordered raspberry-on-cherry — but i mean it was sweet. cloyingly, sickeningly sweet, so sweet that calling itself a lemonade was completely disingenuous; there wasn’t so much as a flicker of sour.

to someone like me who prefers lemonade so sour it scalds your tastebuds, this would have been disappointing enough, but it gets worse — the drink was SLIMY.

“but star,” you ask, “how can a drink be slimy??”

that’s what i’ve asked myself every day since. it wasn’t from the pearls, i’d not even gotten to those yet — all i can figure is that they had loaded this abomination down with so much syrup that that was basically the entire drink. and, by nature of the sickening sweet sliminess, it started to make me nauseated again. :(

the entire experience was a crushing disappointment. i tried to give it to my husband, he of the iron stomach, to prevent it from being a total waste, and even he had to tap out after a couple sips. “but why is it slimy?” he asked. I was rummaging through my purse for a ginger candy to avoid throwing up in the bushes and therefore could not answer.

so anyway, TL;DR, the Candy Shop I Refuse To Name in Pigeon Forge TN Located Directly Next to Guy Fieri’s Flavortown can die by my blade.

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We need to study the powerful psychic field around tumblr posts that causes people to hallucinate entire lines and paragraphs that are not present in the actual text